Privacy - Albert Wesker X Reader

Privacy - Albert Wesker x reader

Request: I hope this is okay by you, I’d like to request for Albert Wesker x reader that has avoidant personality disorder, and despite it being a challenge, they still want to study psychology? :) I’ve seen you do BPD one tho so feel free to deny this one! Thank you :)

Warning: none

Disclaimer: English isn't my native language (I'm french), so you can correct me if you spot somes mistakes :)

*

Having Avoidant Personality Disorder was no fun at all and that’s why you interested Wesker.

Let me explain: Wesker doesn't like when his s/o has many friends, it’s harder to manipulate you. The fact you’re mostly staying at home, having no friends and being sensitive is perfect. You’re making his job easier. At first, he doesn’t know you have a disorder, he just thinks you have anxiety, you’re shy and maybe have trust issues.

But at some point, he’s gonna notice you’re easily hurt by criticism, which is a problem since Albert loves when everything is perfect. He doesn’t always have filter when he speaks.

But at some point, you were too often at home, only studying with your psychology books and that pissed him off. Why? First, at some point, you could understand he’s a manipulative bitch. Second, he can’t hide all the terrible things he does.

One day, he killed one of his scientists. The guy was about to betray him, to give his positions either to the BSAA or the DSO. He made a mess with that guy and even if he cleaned himself in the labs, he came home really late, with his clothes in a bag. When you heard the door of your home being opened, you joined him, but frowned when you smelled that slight ferrous scent… 

“Albert… What is that..?”

“Not your business, Y/N.” he groaned as he walked to the bathroom. But you were so worried about him. You followed him, not understanding what was happening. Your heartbeat quickened.

“Albert…” you tried again.

“What do you want?! I told you it wasn’t your problem. You’re always here and I can’t even have some privacy! Can’t you just have a life and go out from time to time?!”

His words were harsh. Like a blade piercing your heart. It felt like falling from a cliff. 

Tears fogged your eyes, while your hands trembled. You shook your head and ran to your bedroom…

“Y/N, wait!”

…where you locked yourself in to make sure he didn't come in. Technically, he could break in, but you knew he wouldn't. You threw yourself onto your soft bed, as tears streamed down your face. You burst into tears, as he made your heart burst without mercy. You knew that Albert was a hard man, demanding, not easy to live with, but you didn't think he would spit those difficult words in your face. You always tried to be perfect, in fear of disappointing him, and now he saw you as a nuisance... You were lost and didn't know what to do.

Two weeks ago, he blamed you for acting awkwardly in public, but what he didn’t seem to understand is that social interactions with people around you makes you uncomfortable. Actually, you were self-conscious in social situations, afraid to embarrass yourself. Even worse, your poor self-image doesn't help at all.

Wesker knocked on the door, feeling guilty about what he said to you. 

He rarely felt this way, but he loved you and he knew that spewing nastiness like this could only damage your relationship. He let out a sigh and scratched the back of his neck, looking for the right words...

"Honey, open the door, please."

You didn't answer, too absorbed in the pain. Lately, Albert had begun to understand that something was wrong, and he was suspicious. You could have just gotten mad at him or taken it out on yourself, but instead, you had burst into tears... The realization hit him hard. Of course, you had Avoidant Personality Disorder and he was so focused on his projects that he didn’t see that.

"Y/N, open the door. I apologize, I was really stupid and mean. Now open up, we need to talk. I know you have Avoidant Personality Disorder and it’s okay. It doesn't change how I feel about you..." he sighed.

He knew you would eventually come out to have a talk with him. He was going to reassure you and... continue to manipulate you, obviously.

*

Hey, readers! I hope you liked it! Also, I created a ko-fi account with small commissions at $1, $2 and $8 to support me and my work or tip me here since I'm broke😊💜

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Albert Wesker - Nsfw headcanon

Warnings: nsfw, sexlife

Disclaimer: English isn't my native language (I'm french), so you can correct me if you spot somes mistakes :)

*

Wesker is into shorter partners (it's not difficult since this man is already so tall)

He's a traditional man, just like his favourite positions: Doggystyle and missionary

Loves having the control over his partner's body, that's why he rarely let his partner ride him

Albert has many kinks: being called "God", choking his partner, breeding kink, public sex. As you can see, he's a dirty man, really dirty. Oh and be ready for being slapped on the ass regularly

"Fuck... I'm gonna cum, baby. Let me cum inside you, taking my seed so well, to give me an heir." He would groan in your ear, his warm breath waving on your skin, while trusting hard and fast inside you.

And if he could fuck you during a meeting in front of many people, he would.

If you're just a random person, he's gonna care about his own pleasure, he doesn't give a fuck if you orgasm or not. Sorry.

But if you're his partner, he's gonna make you remember his cock until the end of your life 

He likes having quickies everywhere: the dining table, the beach, the cinema, the restaurant... He loves taking risks as you already know.

"Albert, there are kids around."

"And?"

"I don't want to traumatize them."

"Let's prepare them. Half of them will hear or see their parents banging." He chuckled and kept pressing kisses on your neck, his hands between your thighs.

He lasts 5min for a quickie, 15min for regular sex and 30-40min for something intense but good luck, you won't be able to walk straight for two days 

He's into hygiene, so if you're home, expect to quickly take a shower after sex 

Buys tons of expensive and beautiful sexy lingerie for you to wear as often as possible. It magically turns him on.

*

Hey, readers! I hope you liked it! My requests are closed for now, but I still take commissions on my ko-fi page (check my bio), where I can write stuff for $1, $2 and $8. Don't hesitate to support me and my work or tip me here since I'm broke😊💜

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Heavy on The Heart

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Since the fall, the readers been struggling with her mental health and, given the state of the world, there's not a lot of resources for them. But they didn't have Joel when it first fell, now they do.

Warnings: Mental health struggles, sadness, angst but happyish ending.

Word Count: 1.2k

A/n: There was a need for this character apparently so I decided to take it upon myself and write it for the lovely @causeimhappinesss!

On days like these, the world just seems bleaker than other days.

Its the feeling of water in my lungs when I first wake up, a gasping, clearing my throat, uncomfortable feeling that sits in the front of my mind- clear your throat one more time, y/n, it'll go away. But it never does. Instead it gets worse, travels from your heart to your lungs, your life devoted muscle pumping suddenly at the speed of life and banging against your ribs.

Between the drowning feeling and the motorboat running rampant in my chest, it's like a can't breathe, can't afford to get out of bed because it'll just get worse with every step away from my bed that I take.

I know that Joel will be coming soon, picking me up so we can go on runs for the low life's of the city, trading worthless things for things that could eventually help us get to Tommy, to get to safety. But the thought of seeing him makes me want to cry and the thought of having to put a brave face on and fake being completely and utterly miserable and anxious- it makes me more miserable and more anxious.

The knock on my door has me rolling away from it, deciding to face the window instead so the first thing Joel sees aren't the dark bags beneath my eyes and the scowl on my lips. Our frowns will at least match.

He steps into my apartment, I can hear the thick boots thudding against the wood floor until he enters my room cautiously, fingers rapping against the wall as he clears his throat. I give him a simple hum of acknowledgment and my heart begins to beat faster as I watch him step around the bed, eyes finally meeting mine.

"Hey." He whispers, sitting down beside me on the bed with a simple tilt of his head, looking over me with a soft, worried expression. "You okay?" He asks and he reaches out to rest his hand on my hip through the blanket, just his touch makes me want to fold into myself and cry.

"Not feeling up to the run today." I mutter with a tremble, my lip shaking as a cold sweat shines on my body. "You and Tess can go without me." I wave him off, pulling my blanket further up onto my shoulders as I snuggle further into the safety of my bed, wishing nothing but to sink into my mattress completely.

"What're you feelin'?" He asks, leg bouncing nervously.

"I don't want to talk about it." My once sad mood turns sour and I begin to feel angry at Joel for asking me so many questions and it makes me more angry to be angry at Joel for no reason. He doesn't know any better, he's just worried but for some reason by brain chooses to be annoyed by his affection that he rarely shows in the first place.

"Okay." He nods sternly but there's a sense of disapproval in his eyes as he gazes down at me. "But you can," he pauses, rubbing circles into my hip with a soft smile, "talk about it, I mean."

"I know, Joel." I sigh, clutching the blankets to me as I sit up, his eyes suddenly widening at my sudden closeness. His arm adjusts, wrapping around my waist to keep me propped up against him, my fingers busying themselves with messing with the buttons on his jacket. "Sometimes I just wake up and have this elephant sitting on my chest. Especially when I think about leaving the apartment. I just wanna stay here." I let out a sign of relief at my own confession, happy that I had the guts to actually admit it to him of all people. We're not the biggest on feeling things, especially with each other. "It's just hard to exist when the worlds like this."

"You're scaring me." He says suddenly, his voice dropping an octave or two at the fear in my own voice.

"I'll be okay." I smile sadly. "Think I'm in an anxious funk."

"You sound fuckin' depressed." He laughs sadly, reaching up to brush some hair from my eyes, thumb lingering against my cheekbone as I just give him a simple shrug, not knowing what to say.

"Don't make fun of me." I tease and I reach out to shove him playfully.

"I'm not, I promise." He whispers, my whole body relaxing into his touch and the way his eyes look over me, as if I'm protected just by his affectionate, caring, worried gaze. "I'll tell Tess to go at it alone. I'll stay here with you." He goes to get up but I reach out to grab his hand in mine, suddenly feeling a bit of a pep to my step as I begin to think about a day at home with Joel, all to myself.

"Yeah?" I ask with a sigh of relief.

"You seem excited." He chuckles, patting my cheek before making his way to his feet, backing up slowly. "Hold your horses, Tess is out in the hallway. Let me go tell her, alright?" He offers with his hands up in surrender and I nod, sitting with my hands folded in my lap but he gives me a firm gesture to rest. "Lay down."

"I'll wait for you." I nod, falling back onto the bed to get comfortable once more, watching until Joel is out of my sight and I can hear them talking out in the hallway.

I can only imagine how this makes me look in Tess's eyes, maybe weak, stupid, the lesser woman, but I can't find it in me to care when I know that I'll have Joel with me, all day, taking care of me and making sure I get through the day.

"Thank you." I tell Joel when he comes back and he's smiling at me with a cute tilt of his head.

"For?" He grunts an old man grunt as he slides down into the bed beside me, holding an arm out to me so I can slide into his side, curving my body against his and I lay my head on his chest, finally back where I've belonged for days.

"Caring about me." I draw circles on his skin through his flannel, ignoring the heat that's rising to my cheeks.

"Don't gotta thank me." He whispers against my hairline and tugs me further against himself, clinging onto me like I matter to do. Because I do. "I care for you like I think about breathing-I don't think, I just do."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the heart @vampviolets@haylee-e @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife

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The anon who asked for AvPD! :) Indeed these two are similar. So I’ll add some of my experience with it? :)

S/O mostly stays at home, reading about psychology, it’s just something interesting to them in a way… they don’t actually have friends and perhaps when Wesker is harsh with his words that she’s mostly at home, she doesn’t take kindly, closes the door in front of his face and stays in the room, crying?

Sorry for some English mistakes 😅 (if there are any)

It's published ;)

Progenitor woman (part 3) - Albert Wesker x reader

Warnings: kidnapping, experimentation

Disclaimer: English isn't my native language (I'm french), so you can correct me if you spot somes mistakes :) + i'm updating after 7 months... Sorry!

Part 1 - Part 2

***

DAY 12

All evening, Wesker had let you enjoy whatever you wanted: eating a generous meal of your choice, devouring deliciousness, and even taking you to a room with a huge flat-screen TV to watch the movies of your choice. Yet you weren't naive enough to believe that these were acts of pure kindness, he must have had something in mind… But what? The man was hard to read. Extremely difficult to read. Just thinking about it made the hairs on your body stand on end, in a bad way. A bad feeling quickened your pulse and twisted your gut, especially when it came time to go back to your cell, to sleep in that cozy, albeit medical, bed.

"Why this special treatment? I'm sure you never behaved like this with your other guinea pigs." The virologist had sketched a shark-like smile, revealing large, bright white teeth aligned with perfection. With his hands in the pockets of his lab coat, which contrasted in whiteness, against his black pants and shirt, his casual look told you that looked good to you. "Because you're my favorite." "Creepy…" you muttered, before wincing. Clearly, your situation looked like some kind of a low-budget horror movie, with an antagonist who would develop a repulsive obsession with a pretty young woman he had locked up in his home. In short, Beauty and the Beast in a creepy version. Although… The original story is disgusting enough. Who seriously french kiss an animal and has sex with them? Completely mentally disturbed people, of course. "Come on, let's go." Without a warning, he grabbed your hand, a hold you tried to break free of; in vain. With each additional movement, he tightened his grip, to the point where it began to hurt. At that moment, you understood it was better to avoid annoying Wesker… Behaving as he expected was probably the best option to get out of those damn laboratories that were always making you nauseous. Without a word, he led you down the long corridors beside him, before taking you into a room. There was a huge TV, almost like a home cinema. The room was deserted. Wesker soon turned on the television, invited you to sit on the couch in the corner of the room, and then provided you with a blanket. "How about some popcorns?" "That would be lovely of you, if you offered me some… But since you are incapable of empathy and…" Suddenly, one of his leather-gloved hands grabbed your chin with force. Your heart skipped a beat. Your eyes widened. Your sweaty hands began to shake. With his free hand he took off his glasses and forced you to look into his eyes… This time your heart was pounding. Terror was coursing through your veins… His red eyes. Like a snake. Like a monster… They watched you, like a predator admires a prey. "Could you show some gratitude for once, sweetheart? You wouldn't want me to get mad and ruin your pretty face, would you?" he whispered in his husky voice. You swallowed with difficulty, your mouth suddenly pasty, dry. Gradually you swallowed your pride, aware it was better to keep your thoughts to yourself. Oh yes, you had no doubts, he wouldn't hesitate to slap or punch you if you crossed the line. Slowly, his fingers slid from your chin to your neck, caressing your thin epidermis. This simple gesture made you shiver, without you being able to know if they were the product of terror or… Desire. Then he grabbed your neck, wrapping his fingers around it. After a few seconds of studying your face, he released you, left the couch you were sitting on and left the room, locking it behind him. He would never give you a chance to escape… No way.

He came back a few moments later, as promised, with a huge package of popcorn, but his actions had spoiled your appetite. Logical, isn't it? In the night, you dreamt that he strangled you, until he broke your neck without any difficulty. Contrary to the clichés movies, you didn't wake up with a start, covered in sweat. No, you remained stoic, your eyes riveted into the immaculate white ceiling, wondering what was waiting for you today… Was your dream premonitory or were you getting anxious for so little? I mean, what was "little" in your situation? You don’t get kidnapped everyday by a scientist for obscure reasons. You missed your home, your family, your friends, more and more. You were thinking of finding a way to kill yourself, the fastest way you could, without you managing to find one… At least that bastard wouldn't get anything from you! "Are you going to stare at that bland ceiling for long?" a hoarse voice cut you off. You jumped and turned your head to finally meet the eyes of your worst nightmare. Dr. Albert Wesker, standing in the doorway, straight as a board. "No…" you breathed out before imagining yourself stabbing him in the carotid artery. Feeling an iron smell fill the air would turn your stomach, you'd probably watch all that hot, crimson liquid spill from his wound to your hands in horror, but you'd have taken your revenge. Better yet, you would have proven to his team of idiots that they couldn't just go after civilians like that without expecting repercussions… Every action has consequences, you've been told all your life. So why did bastards like them live a perfectly normal life? That life didn't come to devour them violently, like zombies, leaving only a few shreds of flesh on their bones? "Get up. I'll take you to have a breakfast somewhere else, but first, get dressed." You left the bed, then nodded at him to leave the room. Yet he didn't move an inch. "Can you give me some privacy, please?" "I won't move. Now hurry up, if you don't want me to get mad." Were you really going to undress in front of this man? No… You could always change in the bathroom, but for some reason, the door wouldn't close anymore… You took a deep breath, jumped out of bed and slid your hands over the edges of your tank top, ready to take it off… Obviously, this man wanted to humiliate and break you in every way possible.

***

Hey, readers! I hope you liked it! I don't know when I will write the next part, but I'm gonna try to be quick. I don't know where I'm going with this too, so don't expect a masterpiece haha

Also, I created a ko-fi account with small commissions at $1, $2 and $8 to support me and my work or tip me here since I'm broke😊💜

My Ko-fi: carolinemertz

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Your lucky star (Joel Miller x reader)

Summary: Your town got attacked and you survived, before going to the west and then, you meet Joel. He doesn't seem to be receptive, but could he develop feelings for you?

Warning: angst, age gap, implied death of a family member, blood, some slight spoilers if you didn’t play the games

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

Words: 4,7k

Disclaimer: English isn't my native language (I'm french), so you can correct me if you spot somes mistakes :)

*

As far back as you can remember, you understood that life was only an eternal suffering. You had never stopped questioning the existence of your life, even if some people told you that we were all born on Earth to fulfill a particular mission. You had never understood yours.

As far back as you can remember, you had spent your time in libraries. You were born in a city that looked more like a slum, six months after the apocalypse began. Then your whole family fled and lived on the road from the time you were three until you were six, in order to find the comfort of a city that wasn’t dictated by the Fedra. You were a family of beautiful doves in search of freedom, guided by the nostalgia of a democracy, of a normal life, where children laughed out loud in the street. Your parents wanted to find a place where you would grow up and learn all sorts of things; they dreamed of a school. A hospital. Warm, cozy homes, similar to the cocoon they had worked so hard to build before the world fell apart.

For as long as you can remember, you've been happy... Because you didn't know the misery of the quarantine zones, of trafficking of all kinds to survive. No, your family had been welcomed in a small town in the countryside called Wintervale. It spanned several streets, each one prettier than the next one. Sure, there were sometimes as many as ten people per household, which justified the sentence "it takes a village to raise a child," but you were safe. The 150 inhabitants lived peacefully, enjoyed hot showers, although a limit of water was decreed, comfortable mattresses, warm blankets, a school, two doctors, a bookstore and a few stores. As for food, it was distributed fairly and the city was self-sufficient. To protect the whole town, electric fences had been installed with guard towers, where each guard was relayed for a 24-hour protection. Thus, while living a normal life, you devoured many books, of all possible genres, from fantasy to science fiction – and those used to make you laugh when they talked about the apocalypse – through historical romance. Sometimes you even read more psychological books, about self-confidence, attachments and emotions.

During 14 years, you had suffered "only" six attacks. Attacks that had caused a few deaths and, thank God, mainly on the side of the attackers. All this was just the beginning... This is what convinced your parents that you had to learn to defend yourself. In the wild, who knows who you might run into, even if you rarely went out? Creatures weren't the only dangerous things lurking in the woods and cities... Looters, rapists, cannibals, slavers... A whole bunch of deranged guys you had to avoid or kill to defend yourself. From the age of 10, you were taught how to handle a bow, a sword and firearms, in addition to defensive techniques as a counterattack. At the same time, you were taught the art of hunting, if you were ever to do so.

All this... It was beautiful.

Despite all this work, you had lost someone essential... Your mother. She had died of a long illness, incurable, according to the doctors... For lack of material and serious medicine. It took you a long time to mourn and recover from her death.

But peace and apocalypse didn’t mix well, blood would flow. You felt that this departure in your life was just a phase to prepare you for the worst. After all, wasn't the role of a mother to love and prepare her child for life?

You could feel it in your bones... Something was coming. Oh no! A clan of raiders had attacked Wintervale with one goal in mind: to take this town, leaving no survivors.

You had fought alongside your family and the other inhabitants to defend this beautiful place tooth and nail... Until you lost them one by one. You could feel the sweat beading up your face, down your neck, and then tracing a furrow down your spine. Breathless, wavering, vision blurred, you knew it was over. You were ready to give up... A bullet whistled and split the air. It was meant for you.

But your father had decided otherwise. He threw himself on top of you to push you off, and the mortal bullet penetrated his flesh with a long, agonized scream. You could feel his warm blood on your hands and abdomen. A metallic scent floated in the cold night air. Your stomach heaved, bile rose up your throat and tears streamed down your face.

What had you done to suffer this?

No, what the poor inhabitants of this city did ? Defending your territory against evil people? No doubt it was the reason.

"Please, go away," your father murmured between coughs.

You wanted to protest, but the look in his eyes, from which life was escaping, begged you to fight...

"You are too young for eternal rest... Leave..."

Through this heartbreaking farewell, having only one way out, that of death for your father, you pressed a kiss on his cheek. What a strange thing, you had never been close to him. Not an "I love you", very few proofs of affection, simply because it wasn’t common in this family... But you found yourself saying these three words, heavy in meaning, loaded with emotions, with a trembling voice.

Your throat tightened, your stomach knotted, you waited for the agitation to calm down around you, your father already dead for a long time on you, to see a flaw... The flaw was the assailants who were dissipating in the city and who left you free to go back to your house. It was a considerable risk, but you couldn't just leave. You had gone back to get a photo album, some canned food, something to drink and provide for your basic needs for the next week... You didn't have time to say goodbye to the place where you had grown up in joy. Now it looked like a graveyard on the asphalt, with corpses lying in pools of blood.

Then you had to leave everything behind and sprint towards the woods with only one gun and two full magazines to defend yourself, a heavy bag on your back.

"Goodbye"... you breathed, without taking a last look at Wintervale.

Weeks passed and you walked across the country, not knowing where to go. You just kept going with old maps you found on your way. You ended up going west, far away from your old life, since your whole family had been dead for over a month and you didn't know anyone else. You were only focused on your survival, on finding edible food and drinkable water, on saving as much as possible. You avoided the places that led to the big abandoned cities, where it was not uncommon to see gangs shooting and kidnapping each other. You had of course come across a lovely couple, but they had only shared your life for a week and a half before they were bitten by some infected. You had no choice but to kill them... Out of dignity for them, but also to prevent new creatures from joining all the others. In fact, you were hoping that states like Wyoming or Idaho would be favorable to you, that you could find a new community based on mutual aid, with no penchant for human meat. Just the thought of it made you flinch.

After months of loneliness, where you had almost died several times at the hands of runners and clickers, but also from severe dehydration... You missed your whole life. You had thought of killing yourself several times. It would have been easier. A bullet in the head, the barrel shoved in your mouth, and it was fine. You would have done it in a room that no one could open, so that your body would be left in peace, so that no one would eat it. For some reason, you kept going. Something was telling you to go on, even though you didn't know what it was.

"No matter what, you keep finding something to fight for"

And this sentence, you will remember it for the rest of your days. You had heard it from the mouth of this man, tall, slender, muscular, bearded, and especially much older than you.

You were screaming. You were biting. You scratched. You were kicking.

The man above you had already managed to take off your shirt to see your bra-clad breasts and his dirty hand was trying to get into your panties.

"Get off me, you piece of shit!" you yelled.

The man, a few years older than you, laughed. He must have been 25 or 26 years old. There was no age for sexual assault, let alone the latest outrages. This psychopath didn't seem to feel pain, despite your best efforts. You dared to hope to attract creatures, which would leave him no choice but to release you. Despite the darkness of the night, you glanced at the sky. You prayed to your lucky stars for help. Any way you could, as long as that scumbag stopped holding on with his weight, far too heavy for yours. You had been losing weight over the years and losing strength as well. In the past, you might have been able to break free from his grip. The shame was slowly overwhelming you and you were losing your strength. You were ashamed that you couldn't push him away. Ashamed that someone would defile you like that. Ashamed to live in a world like this.

You didn't have time to beg him to spare your life, when a melee bar slammed into his skull. His hot blood spurted into your face and made you feel nauseous. His eyes rolled back and his body fell to the side. Immediately, you straightened up and moved back a good meter, before looking up.

In front of you stood a man, accompanied by a little girl. He must have been in his fifties, much older than you, marked with wrinkles, memories of his experiences, his fatigue and the traumas he carried with him. A warm and icy aura at the same time emanated from the charismatic individual.

"Thank you... Thank you... Thank you..." you stammered, over and over.

It was him, your lucky star. There was no doubt.

Your savior had turned around to give you some privacy while you got dressed properly. You were still shaking with terror and wobbling. You took one last look at your attacker before spitting on him. He deserved to be pissed on... You came to your senses at the last second and cleared your throat.

"My name is Y/N..." you breathed, in a dull voice.

They turned around and immediately the teenager next to her, who couldn't have been more than 15, gave you a warm look and a reassuring smile.

"I'm Ellie and the grumpy old man is Joel."

Weren't they related? Your eyebrows furrowed, you scanned them, confused. After all, you wouldn't be surprised if you'd run into a pedo...

"He's kind of my old man. He's annoying, but you'll get used to him. He's a good guy." the girl added.

"Ellie..." growled her "dad" before rolling her eyes.

And that's how you met them. You appreciated Ellie's spontaneity, sarcasm and humor, simply because you shared it. You never imagined that you would share companionship for so long...

For weeks, you grew closer to this man with a solid shell, so hard to break. Something in him attracted you like a magnet. Love at first sight? The mere thought of him made your cheeks flush. You knew you shouldn't have perceived him as a man with whom you wanted to discover the pleasures of life... He was even older than your father. If your family was there, they would have put you in your place and tried to shake you up... But all you could see was Joel... Joel Miller. His name tasted like honey on the tip of your tongue.

September was long and rainy. You found a small house to spend the night in, while Ellie stuck around to flip through the latest comic book she'd unearthed, while eating a can of food. That left you alone with Joel to try to dig up some food in the overgrown neighboring houses, whose white paint had been peeling for ages.

"Do you think we're even close to Jackson County yet?" you tossed, grabbing some handyman tools you could use.

"We have two more days at most. Then we'll rest at Tommy's."

"Man, if you only knew how much I miss a hot shower..." you muttered.

"Did you have them often?"

"Do you really want to talk about the past, Mr. Never Talk About the Past?" you teased him, in a mocking tone.

"Why not?"

That surprising as heck, but you loved the idea, you were so curious about him;

"In that case, you should do the same." you warned him, turning around to look at him.

He scratched his salt-and-pepper beard and nodded. A real miracle was happening, so you smiled, satisfied. But you didn't know what was in store for you... If you told him about your wonderful childhood, he would tell you about his most painful experiences.

Sarah. Tess. Bill. Frank. Smuggling. Life surrounded by Fedra.

"Ellie doesn't know about Sarah and... I don't want to discuss it with her," he revealed, in an enigmatic tone.

You nodded as you followed him out of the last house you had searched. Night was already falling and thunder was rumbling as the wind picked up, crisscrossing the clotted green leaves. Then torrential rain fell on you, like the deluge announced for the apocalypse.

"Hurry!" you hurried, even though you were already soaked from head to toe.

Instinctively, you grabbed his hand and pulled him with you. Against all odds, he didn't reject your hand, but tightened his grip. His hand was warm, calloused and somehow comforting. Your heart was pounding, not just from your physical effort, but from the joy that washed over you. Your whole body was quivering. Once inside the house, you noticed that Ellie was fast asleep on the living room couch.

"I'm going to change, I'm soaked from head to toe. My clean clothes are in the bedroom," you said with an awkward smile.

"I'm following you, I left some of my things there too..."

You nodded, blushing, as your imagination played tricks on you, sending you images more erotic than the others. You shook off these embarrassing thoughts and headed for the only room in the little house. Once you retrieved your other clothes, which you had quickly cleaned and dried, you watched the man unbutton his shirt. Your eyes widened and only when his shirt fell at his feet, you turned around to face him. Your cheeks flushed, your heart pounding and your hands shaking, you took off your sweater and put on a new one, then promptly swapped your pants for another. You took the opportunity to wipe your wet hair, not wanting to get sick. That would clearly be the worst thing... A simple coughing fit could alert a lot of infected people around.

At that very moment, you felt his burning gaze on yours, sweeping over your senses, so that you felt uninhibited. This man had power over you that you loved as much as you hated it. Why did he make your hands shake and your heart beat faster? Why did his lips seem so attractive? Why did you want to curl up against his chest, wrapped in his arms? When you turned around, he had also finished and was sitting on the edge of the bed, taking off his shoes.

"Don't you want to eat? Shouldn't we wake up Ellie?" you questioned him, puzzled.

"She sleeps so well, it would be a shame to get her up just for a meal... Besides, it's better to eat before we leave, we'll have more energy."

In this world so rotten to the core, it was better to ration yourself and make smart choices when it came to food.

When Joel lay down on the bed, you realized that you were going to spend the night with him, unless you preferred the floor... Usually, you shared your bed with Ellie, between girls, while Joel found another mattress or rested on a sofa. You had never slept in the same bed as him, let alone this close. Nervous, you slowly moved closer, took off your shoes, then slipped under the covers. Eyes glued to the ceiling, stained with substances you'd rather not imagine –  probably mold stains from water infiltration – you enjoyed the softness of the blankets, even though they didn't have any warmth in them yet and they didn't smell like laundry. At least the bed was decent and you couldn't ask for more. Then you shivered at the cool air in the house and your damp hair.

"Come closer..." he whispered, in his rocky voice.

"What...?" you gasped in surprise.

"Come closer, Y/N."

You didn't have time to retort as he wrapped a warm, firm arm around your body and forced you closer. As you curled up in his arms, as you had been dreaming of doing for a while, you suppressed a smile and closed your eyes. Your heart was pounding against your rib cage, to the point that it was painful. Your hands were shaking on his chest. You dared to hope that he would mistake this for the aftermath of the rain.

"Joel..."

"Good night, Y/N." he whispered in the hollow of your ear, stroking your back.

You held back from stroking his chest, pressing warm kisses on his neck, then undulating your pelvis against his. However, you did nothing and savored the moment, knowing that it wouldn’t happen again soon. Since your childhood, your parents had taught you to cherish every magical moment, something you did, without asking yourself more questions... Questions to which you would have no answer. The heart has its reasons that the reason ignores.

The time passed and you found in the city of his brother, Tommy. The shooting had already taken place, the bodies had been recovered and their families were already preparing to bury them. Then... there was the conflict with Ellie. The situation became more complex, tense and you tried not to interfere too much between Ellie and Joel, because you understood both of their reactions. There was nothing left to do but leave for University in Colorado, was there? Before you could even say a word, Joel slipped an arm behind your back and pulled you with him, a little further away, so that Tommy and Ellie wouldn't hear anything of your conversation.

"Is there a problem...?"

"I want you to stay with Tommy and Paula."

You almost choked and shook your head. Miller pressed his hands on your shoulders and looked into your eyes. A dark look, full of mystery and danger. A look you always melted for... But this time you wanted to stand up to him.

"No way."

"Please. I need you to stay with them... I don't know what's going to happen on the way to this campus or with the Fireflies. We've been through a lot of perilous situations already and..."

His voice froze and he pinched the bridge of his nose, before looking away to the orange trees.

"And what...?"

Joel shook his head and turned back toward two others. However, you wanted him to follow through with his thought, intrigued. He couldn't start a sentence without finishing it, what's more, if you were to be separated and... maybe never see each other again.

"Joel! And what?"

He turned around and took a deep breath.

"I don't want something to happen to you."

You could have smiled and jumped of joy, but at that moment you couldn't. That serious look on his face filled your heart and brain with a poison called fear... An oppressive fear, ready to make your heart bleed.

"Nothing will happen to me. I can defend myself."

"Don’t try to make me change my mind. Do this for me, please." he insisted, in an authoritative tone.

An authoritative tone and a request more toxic than ever, the only thing missing was the "if you love me, do it"... You knew Joel and this man was capable of tying you to a tree if it wasn’t for you to not follow him. With a heavy heart, you resigned yourself to accept. What you didn't understand was that moments like this were like saying "I love you" to him, words they hadn't used in twenty years... words that were so hard to say.

Joel Miller was not a man of words.

He was a man of actions.

And that act meant more than you could ever know.

Months had passed and they had returned, when everyone thought they were dead. In the meantime, Tommy had found a nice little house for you, where Joel and Ellie would soon join you. Meanwhile, you were working as a librarian and organized activities for children. Even though you didn't technically have to work, it was the least you could do. This town offered you shelter, hot water, electricity and food, as well as protection... You felt indebted. You also got to know Tommy and Paula, wonderful people, who always taught you a little more about Joel, but with limits. You wanted the older Miller to open up to you on his own.

Joel was immediately useful to this charming community, from guarding the ramparts to collecting food and doing manual labor in the surrounding area. As he relaxed, you discovered a completely different man, with more humor and a real talent, especially for music.

He began to teach you to play guitar... but that was before he met Jolene, a sultry redhead, a widow with two children. Her husband had died two years before, of a long illness. They had met at a party you couldn't attend, being bedridden with a fever, while Ellie watched over you like a guardian angel. Yet, that night, you would have preferred her to keep Joel under control... Over the next few weeks, you noticed that he was drifting away, focusing on Jolene, whenever he had free time. You were almost forgotten.

Hurt and heartbroken, you made sure to avoid him. You didn't eat meals at the same times as him, you focused on your work, which filled your heart with a little bit of happiness, and you tried to make new friendships with people your own age. So much so that there were no more guitar lessons... and you missed it a lot. You just didn't have the strength to go back to him. Even though he never promised you anything or really showed you something, you felt betrayed. You felt so stupid for letting yourself go and falling in love with a man much older than you, who probably only saw you as a kid... Like Ellie. The very thought made you feel nauseous, twisted your stomach and made you shiver with embarrassment.

One night, after a long day, you came home. Usually Ellie was already asleep or in the shower. There was not a sound, a sign that she was already snoring under all her covers. You took off your coat, scarf, and shoes before stepping further into your house. You walked down the hallway, which opened to the kitchen and the living room, and out of the corner of your eye you saw Joel's guitar. It was in plain sight, whereas most of the time he kept it in a corner. He probably had time to play a tune before he left for Jolene's house, where he slept half the nights... In fact, you were sure he wasn't just sleeping...

Don't think about it, you're hurting yourself for nothing... your conscience whispered. But it was so hard to accept.

A throat clearing pulled you out of your lethargy and made you jump. Quickly, you turned around and saw that Joel had returned without you noticing.

"Hey... I'm going to bed, good night," you whispered.

"Wait."

You frowned and watched him as he moved closer to you. Suddenly closer, he towered over you, so that you lifted your chin and he lowered his nose at you. This proximity made you miss a heartbeat. Only about ten inches separated you, something that had not happened for so long...

"I thought we could play a song together, it's been so long," he suggested, in a warm tone.

"I probably lost everything, it's a waste of time."

You didn't say this with aggression, but as a logical thing. You hadn't practiced since he was dating Jolene and it was late, the fatigue of the day was taking its toll.

"Please, just once..."

Joel wasn't a man you said "no" to so easily, he could be so stubborn and you didn't have the head to bicker with him. No, far from it. So you nodded and followed him into the living room, before sitting on the edge of the couch. He soon joined you with his guitar, which he placed on his thighs, before tuning it.

"I'd like to play you a song... I heard it today, it's been a long time since I heard it and it made me think of you."

With your lips sealed, you admired the way he prepared himself. He cleared his throat another time and began to pluck the strings in a soft melancholy tune. You recognized the notes immediately. Your mother loved this song that came out a few months before the world fell apart. Then, his husky voice, with a so particular tone, which never failed to make you shiver, took you with it and vibrated in the air.

I wanna take you somewhere so you know I care

But it's so cold and I don't know where

I brought you daffodils in a pretty string

But they won't flower like they did last spring

And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright

I'm just so tired to share my nights

I wanna cry and I wanna love

But all my tears have been used up

On another love, another love

All my tears have been used up

Why are you doing this to me, Joel...? you thought, your eyes moist. You had the feeling that he was doing this to torture you. How could he sing that song to you, with his eyes locked in yours, when he was in a relationship with another woman?

A tear rolled down your cheek as the last notes of music wavered in the air until they disappeared. You wiped it away with the back of your sleeve and jumped to your feet. You couldn't stand this humiliation any longer and be so weak in front of him. It was unacceptable.

"Y/N..."

"Leave me alone. Do you like making fun of me? Well, get the hell out of this house and back to your Jolene, before I beat the crap out of you!" you threatened, in a hoarse voice.

A gleam of guilt shone in the eyes of the older man who tried to take a step forward, but you pointed your index finger in his direction, in order to tell him not to move.

"Y/N, I broke up with Jolene. I have no feelings for her."

"Oh yeah? Nice? Shall we pop the champagne bottle?" you retorted, in a sharp tone.

"You're worse than me, you're stubborn. I just made a declaration of love to you.”

"More stubborn than you? Are you kidding me..."

You stopped dead in your tracks, when you realized what he had just said, confused.

"Wait... Can you say that again?"

Joel didn't like to repeat himself, you couldn't count on him to do that. Instead, his hands framed your face and he pressed his lips against yours. His rough beard teased your face, but you savored the moment. Your hands clutched the back of his neck and your body moved closer to his. You should have gotten mad and pushed him away, but your heart didn't care. For the first time, your heart was truly exploding with joy. Your heart was pounding, your legs felt like cotton and you felt like you were floating. In your bubble, you prayed that this moment would never end.

Love is a war made of battles, each one more difficult than the other and this day, you were triumphant.

*

Now, I’m thinking about writing a smut part… Should I do it?

My Ko-fi: betrayedwriter

My AO3: BetrayedWriter

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