They Should Invent Joints That Dont Hurt

they should invent joints that don’t hurt

You’re out on a date with Dabi and you walk by a vending machine.

Dabi: “Would you like a snack?”

You: “Sure! I’ll take some M&M’s.“

Dabi smashes the glass and all the snacks fall out.

Dabi, handing you a bag of M&M’s: ”Anything else?”

You: “No, thanks. I’m good.”

Dabi, picking up four bags of Skittles: “Suit yourself.”

TOJI IS SO FINE OMG

GOnna go FERAL fr

Anime character sheets for jjk 2nd season - Gojou Satoru, Getou Suguru, Ieiri Shoko, Amanai Riko, Fushiguro Touji

i actually dont mind tumblr posts reposted to pinterest. the 13 y/o "pinterest in the only social media my parents let me have" girlies deserve a little treat

More rockstar!eddie because my thoughts about him never end

Rockstar Eddie in his twenties is absolutely insane

That man does not care what anyone thinks of him

He’s just obsessed with his wife and that’s the only person he ever wants to think about

He definitely puts a dirty Polaroid he took of his wife’s bare chest cover in suspicious liquid as one of corroded coffins albums covers

He doesn’t care who sees as long as everyone knows she is all his

Fully making out in public

His tongue shoved down her through, his hand cradling her jaw and one hand in the back pocket of her pants or squeezing her chest

He doesn’t care where he’s at if he wants to fuck his wife it’s going to happen

Shoving them in the closet of some random rich persons million dollar mansion, slipping out during an award show to fuck in the public bathroom and having to run out to accept an award with his pants not even buttoned, fucking in the car outside of an expensive restaurant, fucking in the studio, and his favorite- in their all too expensive house in front of their fireplace

He definitely got a big house just to fuck his wife on any sturdy surface, but hey, he was surprisingly responsible with money so you can’t blame him

I know I talked about period sex in my last rant about rockstar Eddie but this man will do anything to get to eat his wife out while she’s on her period

He’s for some reason obsessed with his wife’s blood

Eating her out right before he has to go on stage and running out with his mouth covered in blood, greeting the crowd like his face isn’t covered in a mystery red liquid while he sings and plays his guitar

And y/n is there, right by the stage the whole time standing next to the barricade, talking to fans, dancing, or there to have whatever Eddie needs once he takes a quick break

Warm towels to wipe off his bloody face along with water and a beer, and usually a kiss before he runs back to the stage

He definitely has a slutty tattoo of his wife’s name on his collar bone or on the side of his neck

And y/n has one of his name on her ass, or just above her tits

They are both so obsessed with each other it’s sickening

Like he can never leave his wife alone

Even if he’s on a tour bus with the guys, he’s still all over his wife, pulling her back to the tiny bathroom on driving days to get in a quick fuck before going back to talking with the guys on the couch, joking and shoving shitty snacks in his mouth like he wasn’t balls deep in his wife three seconds ago

And as horny as he seems he’s still so sweet and romantic to his wife

Always showering her in kisses, pressing them on any exposed skin he could find, always holding her hand, his arm wrapped around her shoulder or waist while they walk, giving her his sunglasses when the paps get to be too much, or giving her his leather jacket to wear and hide her face when the paps are following them

Getting her flowers anytime he leaves the house, letting her pick a bouquet when they were out together, and then he holds them for her the rest of the time they are out

His female fans are definitely obsessed with their relationship since Eddie is such a good husband

Constantly gushing about how they want a man like Eddie

He really would kill and die for his wife

He’s just so obsessed

Carrying her to bed every night and tucking her in before he gets in bed and cuddles her up

Always massaging her back or feet anytime she even alludes to them being achey

When they don’t have time for her to go to a salon when they are on tour he sits in the back tiny bedroom with her, painting her nails before pulling her feet onto his lap and painting them in whatever color she picked up from the drug store when they were on a late night snack run

He sits up with her when she can’t sleep no matter how sleepy he is

And he gets her whatever she needs when she’s restless no matter what, if it’s a hot cup of tea, watching a shitty show, talking until they both fall asleep, fucking her to sleep, reading a chapter of a book, anything, he’s there to give her just so she can relax

He loves fucking her to sleep

Because she’s already tired and all cute and soft

So she just lays there with her arms and legs wrapped around him while he fucks her, whimpering and whining while he kisses her super sloppy

And she so sensitive that most times when he fucks her to sleep she squirts for him

And after he cleans her up while she’s basically asleep, wiping off her thighs and pulling the towel from under her because he knew what was going to happen

And he pulls her panties back up her legs before he kisses all over her face and lets her sleep

But she’s the same way with him

That’s why all the tabloids say how obsessed they are with each other

She’s all over him and she wants everyone to know who he married

She sees the way those girls look at him and she knows they can’t compare, she’s his wife

But she can’t help but be territorial over her big rockstar husband

Constantly all over him, sitting on his lap when a perfectly good spot is open for her to sit in, holding his hand no matter what, practically stepping over him while she’s pulled into his side when they walk together

Proudly being naked and covered in his cum on his new album because she still gets to show off that Eddie is all hers and she is all his

Leaning into any touch he gives her and constantly returning them

If his arm is around her shoulders her arm is around his waist

If his hand is on her ass her hand is resting on his back

If his hand is on her cheek hers is on his neck

Her hands constantly on his chest when he stands between her legs, or anywhere she can get them

Rubbing up his belly and up to his chest, giving him shoulders rubs

And anytime he pulled her to have sex in a car that paps were definitely outside of she never refused because once again, she will just be marking her territory

Maybe it’s a little much but I think they would even be on the cover of playboy together

Mainly because everyone drools over the hot mysterious wife of huge rockstar Eddie munson

But also because how could it not be together? They are so obsessed with each other there is no way they could do a photoshoot apart

Eddie gets a shirt with one of the photos on it and wears it all the time

Especially on stage

And on of those vintage playboy lighters with the two of them on it

And everyone freaks out over the photoshoot, thousands of articles written about it, the paparazzi constantly asking them about it

They even get the cover blown up and frames in their living room (so that means when Wayne comes over he has to shield his eyes the whole time)

And one of their sex tape’s definitely gets leaked

They don’t know how

Probably when some random dude came over, during a party at their house or something and had the time to make a copy and then sell it for a story

The man definitely made good money off of it too

It was an hour full of Eddie worshipping his wife, pressing kisses to every inch of her skin and fucking her, going at it until they collapse

And that’s all Eddie is asked about in interviews

“Now to bring up the elephant in the room, Ed-“

“Yeah, you saw me and my wife fuck. Surprise! Paps have caught us fucking anywhere and everywhere and now you finally get to see more than a shot of us in the car.”

Because they really have been caught fucking everywhere

In a bathroom at an expensive restaurant, blowjob in the elevator of a hotel, Eddie getting caught fingering his wife in the alley by a bar, fucking in their car of course, in a dark hallway at an award show, in a closet at a charity event

And after the sex tape gets leaked

Well, neither of them are exactly embarrassed about it, because they have no reason to be, but they get so tired of hearing about it from every pap

Y/n doesn’t even add snarky comments anymore she just covers her face and gets in the car

But that doesn’t stop them any, they are still just as horny as they were before, holding up shows while they make out infront of the barricade, and still getting caught anywhere and everywhere

But they aren’t just disgustingly horny

As clingy and sweet as Eddie is to her she’s the same- like I said before

Starting his shower after a show and organizing all of his products in the shitty showers at the arena they played at

Making sure his favorite towel is clean so once he’s out she can wrap him up in his favorite towel, run back to the tour bus and cuddle while he’s still soft and clean

Instead of hiring someone for hair y/n does it for him, making sure it’s all nice before he goes out and fucks his hair up

And occasionally doing his eyeliner if he wants it

Sitting out his outfits for his concert and even going as far as steaming his outfit just because she wants him to look nice

And since her only job was to be a supportive wife she gets up every morning and makes breakfast, after she starts his shower (which usually was her shower too)

And they get into those gross arguments when one of them says they need to get something “no I’ll get it, you relax”

“No, it’s okay, you sit”

“It’s fine, sit”

“You stay there, I’ll get it”

And they are absolutely notorious for getting i those stupid arguments

“I love you”

“I love you more”

“I love you more”

“No I love you more”

“I definitely love you more”

“No way, I love you more”

All the thoughts I have

Lmk what you think

:)