(Barely) Controlled Chaos # 16

(Barely) Controlled Chaos # 16

Follows on directly from last part, read that first.

Warnings: mentions of military and weapons, unrealistic contract-negotiation

September 1997, Stark Industries Main office, New York

Tony grinned.  Rhodey rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t go to Outer Mongolia anyway.”

“Why not?”

Rhodey sighed and sat down at a table in the window, cradling his coffee in his hands.  Tony joined him, still grinning.  He’d missed Rhodey while he was off travelling the world, even though the older man had called every few days, and Tony had a pile of postcards and small gifts from every country his friend had visited in a box in the penthouse apartment he’d bought upon his return to New York.  He refused to live at the mansion, though he had made three more trips to the old house to deposit more degree certificates on the dresser.  Most of his stuff was still in Malibu, as he was mid-way through the process of relocating the R&D department to California, possibly along with a few other departments, and it would only be responsible of him to be near his employees, wouldn’t it?

Tony finished his coffee and looked up just in time for another to land at his elbow.  RoRo smiled as she swept up his used mug and returned to the counter, talking to Jeanie over it and giving the men their privacy.  Tony grinned at them.  He loved this place.

“So, now that you’re back where you belong, what are you doing?” he asked, turning back to Rhodey.  The older man smiled and shrugged one shoulder.

“That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.  Some of the things I saw abroad...  I’ve signed on.”

Tony blinked at the sudden change in conversation and wondered if Rhodey meant what he thought he meant.

“Signed on?  Like, the army?  What kind of places did you go to?  I don’t remember any war zones on the list.”

“Tony…”

“Have you thought about this, Rhodey?  Properly?  You have a Masters from MIT; you can do so much other stuff.  Hell, you could probably do my job.”

“I don’t want your job.  I wouldn’t mind your PA though.”

That was a weak joke, but the look on Rhodey’s face told Tony all he needed to know.  His friend had been planning this for a while, and the decision was already made.  This was an FYI, not an opinion-seeking mission.

“My Pepper, get your own,” he joked back, getting a smile in return.  Rhodey could read Tony just as well as Tony could read him; he knew this was the closest to an endorsement he was going to get.  Tony may make weapons, but that was his father’s business, not his.  Now though, now it became his business.  Now it was personal.

He pulled his cell from his pocket and dialled Pepper, who answered very politely until she realised it was him.

“Mr Stark.  No, I will not extend the deadline; you have a meeting with two of the Board in forty minutes and I’m not cancelling it again.”

“That’s not why I’m calling Pep, though you do realise that now you’ve reminded me, I’m going to dawdle on purpose.  I hate Board meetings.”

“I’m aware.  Herdier is here though; I could just send him in your place.  He’d probably talk more sense.”

“Do that,” Tony agreed, smiling slightly at the expression he could imagine her wearing right then.  He forged ahead with his original point before she could come up with another, more effective threat, and ignored the odd look on Rhodey’s face as he eavesdropped.  “I need you to re-draft the military contracts.”

There was silence on both ends of the line for several seconds, then Rhodey narrowed his eyes and Tony could sense Pepper doing the same thing.

“Tony…” Rhodey said, at the same time Pepper said “Mr Stark…”.  Their voices carried the exact same tone of ‘what the hell are you doing’.  He cut across them both before they could say more than his name.

“I need a new sub-clause, or however you want to draft it.  James Rhodes will be present at any and all liasons between the military and Stark Industries, and they are to deal with me personally.  Get Legal on it, whatever, just make it happen.  And schedule a meeting with somebody for sometime in the next month; I want to go over the latest deal we made with them.  There are a few additions I want to make.”

Pepper was a little thrown by this efficient Tony (he could do it when he wanted to; he was a Stark, after all, and he’d spent the last few years learning from Obie, whether he wanted to or not), but knew better than to argue with it, merely replying in the affirmative and confirming that he would be back in the next quarter of an hour.  Tony hung up with his gaze firmly on Rhodey, who was staring at him like he’d never seen him before.

“Tony, what are you doing?  You can’t just change the contracts…”

“I can and I am.  You’re going into this, fine.  I can’t change your mind, and I won’t insult you by trying.  But I can give you the best fucking chance of coming home in one piece.  You looked after me all through MIT, Rhodey; it’s my turn.  What was it you said to me once?‘When friends do stupid shit, you help them out.’  You’re coming home, Rhodey.  I’m not letting you not come home

THIS is amazing

Best thing I’ve ever seen.

omfg funniest thing i have watched in a long time,love it

everytime i see this - REBLOGGED LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER.

OMG THE DRAG QUEENS LAWL

THE END O.M.G LOL

SPREAD THIS LIKE HERPES CHILDREN.

(Barely) Controlled Chaos # 20

Follows last part.

Warnings for this part: drunken ramblings, drunkeness

September 1997, Stark Industries Main office, New York

An hour later, after convincing the paramedics to take the girls to the hospital while leaving him behind, he managed to find the bouncer who’d rescued them and caught his attention.  The man smiled as Tony beckoned him over to talk.

“Mr Stark.  You alright?  I can call the ambulance back if you want?”

Tony scoffed and waved his hand in a motion that was meant to be dismissive, but almost swatted the bouncer on the nose.  He pulled away sheepishly.  “Sorry.  And thank you, you know, for saving me.  Us.  The girls.  They needed saving.  Thank you.”

The bouncer shook his head, amused.  “No problem, Mr Stark.  Just doing my job.”

A light went on in Tony’s head.

“Yes!  You were!  I mean, will be.  If you want to?  I want you to, you’d be great, and I like you, you’re so happy all the time.  So, I want you to.  Do you want you to?”

The bouncer – who Tony was officially calling Happy and screw his actual name – gave Tony a very confused look.  “I’m sorry?”

“Job.  If you want?” Tony clarified.  Happy’s expression didn’t change.

“Are you offering me a job?”

“Yes!  See, you could work for me, doing… this, and I pay well, ask Pepper, she bought new shoes last week, she’s been wearing them around the office for the last three days and they’re making her feet hurt, but she won’t take them off because they were expensive and she wants to get her money’s worth…  I ramble when I’m drunk, but I want you to take the job, because I like you and you’re so happy.  Will you do it?”

Happy raised one eyebrow at Tony, not looking convinced, so Tony rummaged around in his pockets until he found a business card.  He handed it to Happy, being careful not to thrust it too hard and accidentally punch the man, and Happy took it.

“Look, think about it and call me; my number’s on there and my phone’s always on.  Even in meetings; it drives Pepper nuts.  So, yeah.  Call me.”

That was when Rhodey managed to talk his way through the policemen guarding Tony and took the younger man in a hug.  He was walking in a very straight line, which meant that he was sober again and Tony was going to be in so much trouble with Pepper.

“Tony!  Never scare me like that again.”

“Honeybear!” Tony cried, cuddling close and pressing a kiss to Rhodey’s forehead.  “Happy is going to call me when he wants to be my bodyguard.  I like him.”

Rhodey sighed.  “I’m sure you do, Tones.”  He looked over Tony’s head at Happy, who was once again amused.  “Thank you for looking after him.”

“No problem,” Happy said again, smiling, and nodded at Tony, now clinging to Rhodey’s waist.  “You should take him home.”

“Yeah, we’re going.  Thank you again.”

“Call me!” Tony called as Rhodey pulled him away.  Happy waved at him, and Tony grinned and sagged some more against Rhodey.  “I like him.”

“I know,” Rhodey said tolerantly.

***

The next day, Tony got a phone call asking if the job was still available.  Well, Happy asked if he remembered making the offer, but it amounted to the same thing.

The new addition to the Stark household was the only thing that stopped Pepper murdering him when she found out what had happened.  Nothing could stop Herdier’s Disappointed Look.

(Barely) Controlled Chaos # 19

Follows on from last part, so read that first.

Warnings for this part: violence, attempted mugging, weaponry, drunkeness

September 1997, Stark Industries Main office, New York

Tony pulled the girls against a wall, taking the hard surface against his own back while they writhed against his front, and grinned into their mouths.  Three hands grabbed against his stomach, sliding under his shirt, and another pulled at his hair.  He moaned at the sensation.

That was when the cold click of a gun being cocked ruined Tony’s night.

All three of them stopped moving instantly, the hands against his skin freezing in place, nails digging into his ribcage as the fingers formed an involuntary fist.  The barrel of the gun poked between the girl’s heads, pointed at Tony’s nose.  One of the brunettes squeaked in fear.  Tony wasn’t sure if he wished they would scream or not; it would draw attention from the two fucking huge bouncers just up the road, but it also might startle the guy on the other end of the gun, and Tony did not want that.  He liked his face the way it was, it didn’t need a hole between his eyes.

The man pushed one of the girls away from Tony, further into the alleyway, and she fell against the brick wall with a small cry.  Tony bit his lip as the gun pressed flush against his forehead, lifting his hands away from the other girl to show that he was unarmed.  The gun pressed harder against him, and he froze.

“Whoa, easy…”

“Shut up,” the gunman ordered, voice low in what was probably an attempt to not draw attention from the bouncers.  He used his free hand to pull the other girl towards him; she screamed, but he snapped the gun under her chin, and she muffled the noise quickly.  He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pressed his free hand across her lips.  “Not a sound, bitch.”

She nodded, and the gun returned to its previous position.  Tony pressed closer against the wall, which was currently the only thing holding him upright.  Alcohol plus far too much adrenaline was making his knees shake, and also appeared to have gotten his fight-or-flight response stuck on ‘oh-shit-this-is-bad’.

Muffled whimpers from the two girls, and the tear tracks running down their faces told Tony that they were in the same position.  At least it wasn’t just him.

The gunman was talking again.  Tony tried to pay attention, uncrossing his eyes from their focus on the end of the gun and looking at the man beyond.  It was dark, and Tony was very drunk and scared, so he made out dark hair and pale skin, but that was about it.  Damnit.  He hated being fuzzy on details.  He forced his eyes to focus, and saw the man’s mouth moving.

Right, he was talking.  What was he saying?

“…money, now!”

Of course.  He was Howard fucking Stark’s son; everybody and their dog knew who he was, and they all knew he was a billionaire.  He really should have expected this.  Thinking about it, he was kind of surprised he hadn’t been mugged before.

“Now!”

Tony flinched, then winced as the movement knocked his skull against the wall.  He reached down to his jeans pocket, trying to remember which one his wallet was in, when the little light filtering into the alley from the main road suddenly cut off.  The gunman turned his attention in that direction, and the gun lowered an inch.  Tony sucked in a breath and shot his gaze sideways.  He couldn’t see properly – there was a gun blocking a lot of his view – but he thought he recognised the blurry shape as one of the bouncers from the nightclub.  He really hoped it was, and that this wasn’t some kind of backup for the mugger.

“Want to back up there?” the newcomer asked, tone light, and Tony knew that voice; it was the bouncer who’d wished him a good night.  His knees folded in relief, and he slid to the floor, the wall no longer adequate enough to keep him upright.  He was a little busy being relieved and staring at the floor to follow exactly what happened next, but a high-pitched scream caught his attention, and he looked up to see the bouncer supporting the girl that had been held hostage with one arm while holding the gunman against the wall with the other.  The gun was on the floor by Tony’s feet.  The girl to his right burst into noisy tears; Tony felt quite like joining her, but wasn’t quite drunk enough to give in to the impulse.

Another bouncer joined their rescuer, taking the gunman off his hands, and the first bouncer sat the girl he was holding on the floor next to Tony so he could call the police.  She curled against his side and cried into his shoulder, the other girl crawling up against his other side and burying her head in his lap, tears soaking into his jeans.  Tony sighed and let his head fall back against the wall, closing his eyes as the adrenaline flushed from his system, leaving him exhausted.

(Barely) Controlled Chaos # 15

Ok, so, in short, flu sucks and work eats my time.  But I'm alive, so here, have some more fic :)

Warnings for this part: none, but spot the cameo ;)

September 1997, Stark Industries Main office, New York

Pepper Potts was an angel from heaven, and Tony was having her canonised.  She’d rolled her eyes at him when he’d made that declaration, but he’d written it down on a memo with Stark Industries letterheads, therefore it was now official and had to happen.  Unfortunately, he’d forgotten that part of Pepper’s job now was sorting all the paperwork.

She had screwed the memo up and tossed it over her shoulder onto her Charmeleon’s lap, who promptly fried it to ashes.  Tony was tempted to mime being mortally wounded, but Ruby, the Charmeleon, gave him the evil eye, and he didn’t quite dare risk it.  Pepper may be sporting a halo and white feathery wings, but Ruby quite literally had horns and a tail, breathed fire, and apparently hated his guts.  Tony knew why she felt like that, but still felt it was unfair; what happened had been Dummy’s fault, not his.  And hey, Pepper was talking to him, so why the dragon felt the need to blow smoke at him every time he so much as breathed in Pepper’s direction, he didn’t know.  Whatever, Tony wasn’t stupid enough to pick a fight with the Pokémon.

Back to Pepper.  Homicidal dragon aside, his new PA was a full-fledged, halo-bearing angel of the lord, and Tony was considering giving up atheism just on the evidence of Pepper alone.  She had come into his life literally

(Barely) Controlled Chaos #8

Back again :)

Warnings for part 8: Tony being a stubborn ass.  So, Tony, really.  Does that count as a warning?

March 1991, Massachusetts Institute of Technology

After becoming the most famous orphan currently living in America, Tony threw himself into life at MIT.  He still skipped most of his classes, but he aced every test put in front of him, so the lecturers found it difficult to reprimand him.  Instead of class, he spent most of his time in the robotics lab, fiddling with Dummy’s claw until the bot could pick up an egg without cracking it.  Lillipup never left his side, and more often than not Rhodey could also be found in the lab, trying to talk Tony into leaving to eat or sleep.  Tony rarely listened, relying on coffee to keep him alert enough to function.  It took just over a week for Rhodey to have had enough.

Tony jumped and looked up as Rhodey brought his hand down hard on the table, startling him out of his work-trance.

“That’s enough, Tony!” he said, almost screaming.  Tony blinked and put down his tools slowly.  Rhodey only called him ‘Tony’ when he’d finally managed to exasperate him to the point where normal people stormed off.  Rhodey just yelled and pulled Tony after him.  “It’s almost two in the morning, and I want to sleep.  I also want you to sleep, because I’m pretty sure you haven’t left this room for three days, and this is not healthy!  You’re going to make yourself ill, Tones.”

Tony sighed.  “You can go sleep if you want to, Rhodey.  I’m not tired.”

“Bullshit,” Rhodey growled, grabbing the coffee cup out of Tony’s hand.  “When was the last time you had anything to eat?  Coffee doesn’t count.  You’re going to pass out, Tony, and I’m going to have to drag your ass back to bed.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Tony protested, trying to reach his coffee.  He was fine, and he was almost done.  He could sleep after he’d finished this.  Rhodey stalked across the room and poured the coffee down the sink in the corner.  “Hey!”

“I do have to, Tony,” he said, voice low and quiet.  “Because you are my friend, and when friends do stupid shit, you help them out.  You may be a genius, Tones, but you need me right now, and I am not going to stand here and watch you hurt yourself.”

Tony had no idea how to react to that.  The only person who’d ever reacted like that, even a little, was Jarvis, and the old butler was more inclined towards a gentle reprimand aimed at making Tony feel guilty than this.  Rhodey sighed and walked forwards, wrapping his fingers gently around Tony’s arm.

“Come on.  I’m taking you back to your room.”

Lillipup yipped his approval of this idea, and nudged Tony’s ankles to get him to move.  He wasn’t going to win this; Tony let himself be pulled from the room, Lillipup following at his heels.  Rhodey didn’t let go of his arm until Tony was back in his room in his dorm.  He shut the door behind him and bent to pick Lillipup up and put him on the bed.

“Sleep, Tony.”

Tony rolled his eyes and muttered “yes, mom,” but Rhodey was right, damn him - he was tired.  He didn’t bother getting changed out of his clothes – they were rumpled enough at this point that sleeping in them would have no effect whatsoever, and his sheets were grease-stained anyway – and collapsed backwards onto the bed.  Lillipup climbed onto his chest and curled up in a ball; as the dog usually slept on the pillow by his head, Tony took this as a ‘stay there’.  He glared at Rhodey.

“Now you’re ganging up on me.”

“You’re welcome,” Rhodey intoned, sitting next to him.  “Close your eyes.”

Tony rolled his eyes again, but did as he was bid.  Lillipup shifted on his chest, so he lifted one arm to curl around the puppy, and Lillipup licked his wrist.  He made a vague humming noise – he liked when the puppy did that – and ran his fingers through the fur of his neck, tangling them behind his ears and scratching lightly, getting a sleepy yip.  Rhodey chuckled and Tony felt the bed move as he stood up.

“Goodnight, Tony.”

Tony hummed a reply, and the door clicked shut.  He rolled his head to one side, felt Lillipup lick him again, and conceded that, ok; maybe it was nice having somebody looking out for him.

He fell asleep feeling happier than he had for a long time.