UNOPENED

UNOPENED

WHAT DO YOU MEAN UNOPENED

im so srs humans were made for art and friend and food and beddy bye. i mean this

Catch me SCREAMING in the subway for a PLOT TWIST from a 1897 book. NOT THE FLOWERS C'MON!!!

Van Helsing, trying desperately not to get put in a straitjacket: don't tell anyone about this. in fact I'm not even going to tell you. just make sure you don't go to sleep. the garlic is medicine okay and it stays. you wouldn't dig up a corn, would you? CORN, Jack. guys she ran out of blood we need your blood don't ask why. I'm off to Amsterdam don't die.

Quincey Morris, showing up a week late with Starbucks: hmmm sounds like vampires to me

😬

I am, admittedly, *increasingly* biased and irrational about Lucy.

But.

For FUCKS sake, Mrs. Westenra.

WHERE did you think those flowers CAME FROM. Did you even bother to ask the staff, who undoubtedly could tell you the DOCTORS put them there?

I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS

me hanging out with black people in the summer: “aye, yall don’t forget to put on sunscreen”

them: