No Fucking Way I Found My Little Rubber Fetus

No fucking way I found my little rubber fetus

NEKO ATSUME 2

Some guy in an avengers Tshirt I just met at a coffee shop: so who's your favorite superhero?

Me too exhausted to explain there's more than one Robin: Batman

Guy: oh! Did you watch the Joker movie? It was surprisingly good for a DC film haha

Me: yeah it was something

Guy: you know they really fucked up on Justice League, but I've got to say Wonder Woman was better than Captain Marvel. Like, we get it, "yay girl power." That's great but it was so over the top. It totally ostracized half of it's audience.

Me: wow really

Guy: yeah. You know, you seem pretty chill. Maybe we could hang out sometime and watch some decent superhero movies? You know, Marvel movies haha

Me: i never asked, who's your favorite hero?

Guy: Iron Man. Like Batman but richer and cooler haha

Me: you know, Batman's rule? No killing?

Guy: yeah?

Me: i have no such rule. Lindsey, I found another one. My usual, please

Lindsey, the barista: *hands me my sword*

Guy: wow that's a poor replica of the God Killer blade, it should have more- *beheaded*

Me: thank god that's over

Lindsey: yeah. Hey want to watch Birds of Prey with me sometime?

Me: oh? You mean like as... a date?

Her: well yeah... is that okay?

Me: of course it's okay! all this time, all these years, i never knew you felt that way

Her: i don't keep a replica of Wonder Woman's sword under the counter for just anyone

Me: i never thought about it that way

Her: *writes her number on the forehead of dead guy* text me ;)

Source: oooh_my_cat

"unalive" should just mean the opposite of undead. if undead means a dead thing thats alive, unalive shuld mean an alive things thats dead. no i dont have any examples. ☝️yet