I Am Fascinated By Kristins Final Use Of The Lights As A Departure From Lingua Ignota. Before They Felt

i am fascinated by kristin’s final use of the lights as a departure from lingua ignota. before they felt like a warning, a weapon, a symbol of rage, a swinging censer. in their final act they appear as wounds bleeding light. knotted together across the body, gnarled. they are heavy and debilitating, ugly and entangled. despite this, they shine brightly. it is unknown if the wounds themselves are holy or if they have been healed by some holy source. they bleed their light and then are shed, sloughed off and discarded. there are no more weapons and no more visible wounds. the sinner is now laid bare in front of god

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood + textposts

SATSUKI KIRYUIN

CW: KLK spoilers, mention of: compulsory heterosexuality, physical & emotional violence, s-xual trauma, CSA, SA, r-pe (for the sake of better background and context about this anime & about Satsuki story)

About her character and why she is stone femme headcanon for me.

SATSUKI

This character does not have this cold, strong but sharp and fierce appearance as a random addition of traits just for the sake of fanservice. Her physical appearance and her personality traits are polished and calculated, yet she is pretty vulnerable on the inside and has a huge and rich inner world. She is acutely smart, a powerful strategist, a good and strong leader with the kindest heart I've ever seen in a character apparently so cold, stubborn or even despotic. But we have to keep in mind her upbringing and that she did what she had to do in order to survive because her main goal was to save the world and protect her closest friends. She wanted to free them as well as she wanted to free herself. But... from what?

SATSUKI'S PLOT

about her plans, goals and what Ryuko meant to her

Satsuki had such important goals: she wanted to free humanity (and herself) from the biofibers and the tyranny of her own mother, who was working with them to subjugate all the people on Earth, but she also craved to avenge her father and sister for what Ragyo did to them, so she fought for revenge but also for love. In the end, all that she wanted was to protect the ones she loved the most. 

Satsuki believed she could lead a revolution against Ragyo and the biofibers by using the power she had as her daughter against her. She took advantage of that power and the fear it inflicted on everyone to build a hierarchical system based on The Law of the Strongest and blind obedience (basically she militarised the school), and then she started to ‘colonise’ other schools to gather an army. She did this to trick her mother into thinking that she was working for her because her empire was much larger and stronger, so she had to be very cautious or else the chances to defeat Ragyo and the biofibers would be even lesser. All of these factors led her to repress her thoughts, feelings and emotions.

But when she met Ryuko, her plans started to change a bit: she saw a lot of potential in Ryuko and wanted her to get stronger and surpass her from the very beginning. She felt that Ryuko was something more, not just another soldier that could help her defeat Ragyo once and for all, and she wasn't wrong about it: later on they found out that Ryuko was that little sister Satsuki and Ragyo thought dead and that Isshin Matoi was actually Soichiro. He raised Ryuko and hid her from Ragyo with the hope that, one day, she would defeat her and the biofibers.

When these facts were revealed, Satsuki knew everything changed: she could trust someone of her own blood, she could finally have her dream family: one that she'd have built, one that she'd have chosen, one that would have truly and deeply loved her for who she is.

NONON

Now we have to talk about Nonon, Satuski’s best friend and (implicitly) lover, the only person who knew her best and could fully trust: this character can come across as an irritating or pedantic girl, but that’s just the surface; she acts tough the only way she knows just because she wants to show that she’s strong and the most important person in Satsuki’s life. I find it so heartwarming that even though the rest of the Elite Four are respectful and loyal towards Satsuki, it is Nonon that better understands her boundaries, and they treat each other as equals. Nonon is not just another subordinate to Satsuki (and never was). I think that because of this and her appearance (small, cute, etc) she wants her value as a fearsome opponent to be acknowledged, and that's why she acts so sassily and arrogantly (a thing which I personally love about her).

Nonon always finds the courage to fight and never gives up whenever Satsuki is near her; she feels the need to protect her, and she is always willing to carry all the weight if that means Satsuki will be safe and sound. 

She is the one who always took care of Satsuki’s deepest wounds but also her dreams, and is the only one who knows best the pain Satsuki had to endure in order to save everyone. Both of them shared their dreams and hopes with each other when they were kids, and since then Nonon took care of hers as well as Satsuki took care of Nonon’s. 

JUNKETSU

It is hard to talk about Junketsu and what it felt like his relationship with Satsuki and Ryuko to me right after talking about Nonon, but it has to be done if I want to illustrate why I headcanon Satsuki as a stone femme. 

Junketsu is, first and foremost, an allegory for compulsory heterosexuality. He was the symbol of the chastity/virginity forced upon the future bride and spouse, Satsuki (we have to remember it was Soichiro the one who told this to her, that Junketsu was going to be her wedding dress). So it was the underlying expectative of defeating Ragyo by sacrificing her will to Junketsu that her father put on her shoulders, one of the reasons that kept her from loving Nonon freely, openly and wholeheartedly, maybe the main one because Ragyo simply wanted the whole subjugation of her daughter, her complete devotion to the biofibers cause, while Junketsu was just a tool for both her father and mother that would force Satsuki to do the will of one or the other.

But even though Junketsu was just a tool, Satsuki had to wear it on all the time, which means that Satsuki was living constant situations of rape; after all, whenever Satsuki dressed Junketsu and tried to activate him, she endured a lot of pain and ended up very weakened from resisting Junketsu taking full control. And the thing here is, although Satsuki willingly wore Junketsu, that doesn’t mean she had another option. As I said, this suit was made to control her and Ragyo used it later to control Ryuko too. He, as the symbolic husband, tried to tie them up to heterosexuality at some point in their lives. 

So as we can see, Satsuki didn’t want to wear any biofiber cloth, she had to use them and let herself be used by them in order to save the whole world and set everyone free.

CONCLUSIONS

I think it is well pictured that Satsuki truly cares about people but felt she couldn’t trust them because of how the world was built by her mother and the biofibers, and also how Ragyo treated her with so much despite at the same time she emotionally and sexually abused her (it’s so obvious that Ragyo is a child abuser and a paedophile). But Ryuko was key to help her understand that things could be different, that she didn’t have to make everyone afraid of her in order to get what she wanted, that she actually could trust people. 

So for all that has been explained in this post is why I think Satsuki embodies so perfectly what it’s like to be a stone femme for me and not just for her appearance, but for her choices too. She had to carry so much weight on her shoulders but Nonon and the rest of her friends supported her without putting more pressure on her; they just took care of what Satsuki ordered them to do. 

I also find so relatable the way she copes with all the trauma she’s got from facing lots of sexual violence, and physical and emotional abuse, or the fact that a close relative (her own mother) made her believe she was a failure and a good for nothing, that she didn’t belong and would never be enough for her. She didn’t lose her kindness and her hopes and dreams even though she had to turn herself more tough, it just happened that she showed her soft side differently. She actually cares, she is the one who provides and she sacrifices lots of things to protect humanity’s freedom. And she finally learns to trust in the good potential of all humans, and to let the women she loves take care of her too. 

To conclude, Satsuki was key to make me come to terms with me being a stone femme because I can see lots of subtle details in how she moves, behaves, thinks and approaches things that -somehow-remind me of myself, although I know we are not on the same league. But I really think she might be a stone femme too because she is a woman with strong and rigid boundaries around every aspect of her life, and she defends and makes everyone respect them. In the whole anime I’ve never seen anybody try to question her and her boundaries, and I truly admire her a lot for this.

Lingua Ignota

thinking about…. soft sex lately, about being sooo tired and wanting to cuddle up close to a butch, curling into them and tucking my head into their neck, and the shiver that runs down my spine when their fingers thread through my curls, flutter across the nape of my neck, trail down my spine. thinking about… going limp against them the longer they touch me because it feels so good and fizzes across my skin like a faint ocean spray on a warm day, sending little sparks of pleasure through my nerves til even the smallest, barest touch makes me whine and softly sigh into the crook of their neck trying to burrow closer, and their quiet laugh when i do so.

thinking about… their gentle, sweet touches becoming a little less innocent, dipping farther down my back past where the straps of my panties sit on my hips, their warm hand skimming my side, brushing just a bit too near my tits and lingering there even as i jolt and shudder when their thumb follows the round curve of my breast until they flick, just once, over my nipple and the friction of that brief touch over the fabric of my top makes me blush. thinking about… clutching their shirt in one hand and reaching the other up to pet restlessly at their hair, shifting and squirming against them when they finally dip beneath the waistband of my sleep shorts and panties and under my soft crop top to cup my breast and pinch my nipple lightly and the yelp i make when they do, the little smirk on their face when i squeak and shiver, and how eventually they coax me out of my pajamas, even as i whine at them that i’m shy and flustered and they're embarrassing me, and then roll me onto my stomach.

thinking about… the butch running their hands along my bare back, massaging and pressing deep and firm as they go until i’m so relaxed and hazy i can’t do anything but lay beneath them, limp and melted into their grasp like warmed honey, so that when their mouth descends on my neck, at first giving a brief sucking kiss and then worrying the skin between their lips until a violet hickey blooms, repeating the process again and again along my neck and shoulders, all i can do is release a wobbly moan and clench my soft wet pussy around nothing. thinking about… being so distracted by how good their mouth feels bruising me up that i don’t even notice them nudging my legs apart until their fingers glide over my clit, prompting me to squeal but feeling so deeply boneless that’s all i can manage as they play with my clit, flicking and rubbing it while i drip down their hand, my pulse throbbing in my cunt while the sugary sweet haze of pleasure keeps me from even being able to ask them for something to clench around, to fill me up where i’m all achy and puffy and slick.

thinking about… eventually i’m so pliant and shivery and wet they have mercy and slide three fingers right inside, and it’s so good my toes curl and whimpers slip from my mouth in an endless stream, cored open so suddenly and unexpectedly, exactly what i needed and dizzy with it, tipping my head to the side and pleading wordlessly for them to kiss me til my mouth is as swollen and pink as my needy pussy and rolling my hips back as much as i can to try and rub against their cock, wanting them to feel as good, as pleasure-drunk, as i do. thinking about… them drawing their fingers out of me, slowly, slowly, while i cry and whimper for them not to, to stay inside, so they can get a better angle to grind down on me while i soak their boxers with how slick they’ve made me, the damp spot on the fabric growing bigger and bigger between us both, my thoughts dissipating into nothing with every brush of their cock, every reminder of how hard i’ve made them by being a good boy and taking whatever they give me.

thinking about… the air being warm and heavy, like the steam curling above a cup of spiced tea, and the butch, finally, finally, pulling their cock out and teasing my entrance with the tip of it while i moan softly please please please, clenching weakly to try and entice them into fucking me, desperate for them to spread me open on their cock more than i need anything else, more even than i need to come, until in one slow movement they sink into my aching pussy and stars fizzle out behind my eyes with how satisfying it is to have their cock deep inside me. thinking about… them cupping my cheek in their hand as their hips settle against my ass, their cock all the way in now, and murmuring in my ear for me to just relax and let go, bunny, they’re going to take such good care of me tonight.

THIS POST IS ABOUT LESBIAN SEX

MEN MINORS TERFS AGELESS BLOGS DNI

maybe I’d be sleeping better if I was having hot sweaty dyke sex before bed