NO WAY

NO WAY

I wish my meal time was as quick and entertaining.

Reblogging for the last line. Creative self-motivations involving dread or spite are how I get shit done, or avoid the Temptations such driving into the river.

i get into a horrific car accident while carrying a crock pot full of meatballs in the passenger seat. at the hospital, the surgeons cannot sort out which chunks of meat are me and which are not, so I end up with several meatballs sewn into my guts. despite this I make a full recovery, and they elect not to remove the meatballs because quote 'they seem comfy in there.' i go on the talk show circuit and become moderately famous as The Meatballs Woman. when i die i am buried under a gravestone with meatballs carved on it. in the year 2438, a grad student from what is now Cambodia who is studying the late pre-collapse American Empire writes her thesis on this, concluding that I probably never existed and was a conflation of several real stories and urban legends. years later, a pop-history book wildly misinterprets this and several other things, arguing for the existence of a historic American religious pantheon including figures like The Meatballs Woman, Florida Man, Emperor Norton, etc. this book sells bizarrely well and inspires a new neo-pagan movement, which in turn leads to a weird shipping community, resulting in a small but vibrant scene of ABO fics featuring me and MrBeast (who in this context has been interpreted as a god of excess and trickery)

this chilling scenario is only one of the multiple reasons I am going to attempt to not crash my car today

Baldur's Gate 3. Amazing game. Lots of gay. Lots of options, just, in general.

can't stop thinking about how dame aylin is literally a homophobic father's worst nightmare. 7ft tall lesbian with a bigass sword walks in, makes your daughter swoon, whisks her away and turns her against you, kills you and stomps on your head until she's essentially making wine and then celebrates by treating your daughter to a several day fuckathon. nobody's doing it like her

Divine photographed by Andy Warhol, 1974.