240830 - Lee Sserafim On Tiktok

240830 - lee sserafim on tiktok

Intersect, Part 9.75 | KNJ

Intersect, Part 9.75

Definition: To meet and cross at a point; To share a common area

✫✫✫Intersect Masterlist✫✫✫

Pairing: KNJ x fem!reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Office!AU; enemies to lovers; fluff; angst; smut; NSFW

Word count: 4.6K+ words

Warnings: so-much-freaking-angst; excessive cussing; pining; missed opportunities; bickering; a weird debate about mint-chocolate dessert; crying; emotional outbursts

Summary: You hate him, he hates you. You were both fine staying in your own lanes–until you’re forced to work together on a make-or-break project for your company.

A/N: Angst part 3 of 3 😖😖 Thank you all for hanging in there!

This is my penultimate chapter and I can't believe that the end is near! Thank you all for engaging, commenting, and screaming with me. In my short stint here in Tumblr so far, I never know how much angst is too much but we've for sure reached the crest of the wave (of angst) for this story. I have Part 10 drafted and it's already making me emotional, much like this update did. I had a good cry after writing this!

“No! No, no, no–tell me this isn’t real!” Jimin whines then slides his body down against the couch cushions, stomping his feet petulantly in a childlike tantrum.

Jimin turns to Mirai and grabs her hand and swats it on either side of his cheeks. “I need you to slap me, right now! Wake me the fuck up!” 

Mirai retracts her hand, looks away from Jimin then back at you. She normally kept her emotions in check but this time, her eyes started welling up.

“Unnie…what are we going to do without you?” Her voice was meek–it didn’t have its typical hefty tone that she threw around not just during meetings but in regular conversations.

“Oh, you guys–” your eyes started to water as well. “This is not easy for me either–”

“Then why don’t you just stay?”

You wished that you could, too–but somebody down the hall felt differently. And truthfully, you weren’t sure that you could go on working alongside that one person, whom you thought couldn’t keep himself away from you–then all of a sudden, woke up realizing that he didn’t want you around anymore.

******

The days turned into weeks. It felt like wading through miles and miles of water. You were exhausted, frustrated but you had to keep your focus. If Celina could get through all that heartbreak in a year without a hint of wavering, you could do it, too.

You framed it like a routine. A crazy, twisted, fucked up routine. Wake up, go to work, go home, cry, shower, cry some more, then sleep. Rinse and repeat.

You and Namjoon would cross paths in the hallways like passing ships. You never met with him alone–it was always with your teams. If either of you had a direct query, you’d address it through email or the work chat. Simple, no-nonsense.

Your teams got the hint. They didn’t ask questions after you reiterated that professionalism would always take precedence…and that you’d keep things civil for the remainder of your stay at the office.

As time winded down to your last few days, you met with some notable staff whom you’ve worked with closely during your short tenure here. You were surprised at how emotional some of them got–and truth be told, you shed a tear or two as well as you thanked them for all of the meaningful collaboration that they’ve shared with you.

“Are you sure? You know, the last time that we tried to do this–”

You laughed. “I know, I know. I’m uh–taking a different approach now. New perspective and all.”

Yoongi smiles. “I’m glad to hear that. Thank you for entrusting me with Foundations. I promise I won’t fuck it up,” he chuckles. “And honestly–I meant what I said to you before…that I think you’re amazing.”

You couldn’t help your cheeks warm up from the compliment. “You don’t have to say all that, Yoongi.”

“It’s true, though. I see how your staff respects you, looks up to you–it’s something that I hope to inspire while I temporarily step into your shoes.”

“Unless you’re comfortable slipping on a pair of my Manolos, you’re in trouble, Min Yoongi,” you joked.

He laughs. “I can try on a pair from Cici’s closet to find out,” he barks back, eliciting a giggle from you.

“C’mon, Yoongi–you are way more accomplished than I am. You’ll do just fine.”

“Ehh…I’ve been a lone wolf most of my career–at least until I met Cici. I’ve worked fine in teams but never really thought that leadership was my strongsuit. That’s where her expertise comes in,” he laughs.

“Well–you might as well take lots of pointers from her because–my team will give you hell and you need to be able to hold your own. Otherwise, they’ll barrel right through you.”

You both laugh at that, suddenly feeling some semblance of peace between you two.

“So…we’re good?”

“Yeah,” you shrugged before giving him a quick hug. You turn your head briefly down the hallway to find Namjoon watching the exchange.

******

After a few minutes of awkward, stilted smalltalk, he finally takes the hint and leaves your office.

“Can you shut the door on your way out, please?” With a small nod, he does as you ask.

When the door clicks, you release the breath that you’ve been holding. Your face felt hot to the touch–the total opposite of your frozen fingertips.

Your trip to New York was so close yet felt so far. One more day before you headed up north to see your brother. A few more hours of seeing Namjoon’s face. You weren’t sure how much more you could take of this. 

It was too late to switch out your original rental car reservation–especially since the place was probably closing for the day but you felt a visceral need to get out of the city, now. You log on to a passenger railway’s site to find out if there were any more available tickets to leave tonight. 

You were already packed up for the weekend anyway–why wait ‘til tomorrow? All of your projects were settled and any other pending matters could be answered remotely. Besides, a long train ride might be exactly what you needed to clear your head.

While the site loads the available train schedules, you glance up at the portrait on your wall. As much joy as it brought you when you first laid eyes on it, now it just felt like it was mocking you.

You grab your purse from your drawer and retrieve your wallet to take your credit card out, preparing to pay for your reservation.

******

“Wait, you’re leaving tonight?” Mirai asks. “Is it–is it because–” she glances quickly across the room, at Namjoon who was engaged in a conversation with another analyst.

You sighed. “Not entirely but–”

“It’s okay, YN-unnie. You don’t have to explain,” she says quietly. Mirai certainly prides herself in being observant–it’s what she said to you from the get-go. She also understood when the situation called for her to drop a subject.

“Anyway, I–”

“Everybody!” Celina’s voice bellows from the center of the bar. The crowd focuses their attention on her.

“Thank you all. As you know, we’re here to say farewell to our lovely YN.” Everyone groans and collective “aww-s” and sighs ring through the room.

“I know, I know. I was also saddened when she first told me. Not only has she been instrumental in advancing the company’s efforts in our philanthropic area but she’s also been, in some ways, one of the heartbeats of our humble operation here–which is why this is a hard pill to swallow.”

You try to hold your emotions in even though Celina can barely contain hers. Your eyes flick somewhere across the room to find Namjoon staring at you intently. Every time you looked in his direction, his eyes were trained at you. It was as if he was beckoning you to come to him.

But you stood your ground. You turn your attention back to your soon-to-be former boss.

“Anyway, I swore that I wasn’t going to cry but–” she sniffled, then blew out a puff of air to get through the rest of her speech. “Your departure will leave a hole that I don’t think we’ll ever be able to fill. Your optimism and constant advocacy for the causes that you care about–you can’t find many people built like that anymore.” 

She then zeroes in on you, as if nobody else was in the room. “A wise man once said–cream always rises to the top. And Moonstone is damn lucky to have you on their squad. So, here’s to you, YN–” she raises her glass, and the rest of the room follows suit. “You deserve every good that comes your way. We all wish you the best!”

“Hear! Hear!” The room echoes.

After spending a few more minutes trading anecdotes and goodbye hugs with your coworkers, you decided to slip out quietly to return to the office to grab a few more things before you went home to pick up your suitcase and take a rideshare to the train station.

******

The office was eerily quiet while you emptied out the final remnants of the last two years that you spent here. You’ve spent countless nights working late, troubleshooting programs, revising interim drafts that needed to go off to a client in the morning. 

“Oh! Are you leaving?” Not to mention that you had gotten to know the night-cleaning crew pretty well.

You gave the night porter a rueful smile. “Yes. It’s my last day, unnie.”

“Aw,” she frowns. “Well, good luck with everything then,” she says fondly with a smile.

“Thank you,” you said while you started to walk towards the door.

“Wait! Aren’t you forgetting something?” She points to the frame on the wall.

“Oh–no. I don’t need the extra baggage,” you say nonchalantly. “You can have it, if you want.“ With that, you gave your office one final glance before you left it for good.

You walked towards the opposite hallway to make your way out since another night-porter was set to vacuum the hallway carpets. The industrial equipment and cables were currently blocking your direct path to the elevators. It was a longer way but at least the floor was empty and you didn’t mind the walk.

You press the down button on the elevator and wait. You take one last look at the set of two elevators on this suite. Memories flood back into your consciousness. Your first day, meeting Mirai and Jimin, that first lunch with Yoongi, up until just weeks ago–when Namjoon pressed you against the back wall to kiss you.

The elevator dinging loudly yanks you back to the present and you finally step through the open doors. Right before they shut, you look up to find a figure rushing out of the elevator next to yours, running to head into the office suite.

******

“Do we just sit anywhere?” Your dad asks.

“There’s no assigned seating at graduations, yeobo. Not for big ceremonies like this,” your mom tells him.

“YN-ah’s last graduation had one,” he says.

“Appa, that’s only because there were only a few graduates for my doctorate program. Jungkook-ah’s ceremony is combined with four other departments today so–it could take a while.”

You sidestepped your way through a few other attendees at the venue until you found a group of empty seats and settled with your parents. You looked over the graduation ceremony program pamphlet and were surprised to find that your brother was receiving the Board of Trustees’ Award for Academic Excellence and Community Service.

“Wha! Jungkookie is getting an award? Did he tell you this, YN?”

“No, eomma! I am just as shocked as you are. Appa, did you know?” You turn to see your dad already nodding off. Seriously, this man could sleep through a jet engine blaring through his ear.

“Excuse me? Is this seat taken?” 

A cold shiver runs through your spine.

“Not at all, go ahead,” your mom smiles warmly at the stranger as he takes the seat next to her.

You slowly turn your head towards her direction. “What are you doing here?”

******

“Namjoon-hyung!” Jungkook excitedly moves to finally give him a big hug after the 4-hour ceremony concludes.

Your parents are surprised to find Jungkook being so cozy with this newcomer whom they never knew existed until today.

“Appa, eomma, this is Namjoon-ssi. Noona’s—“

“Coworker,” you interject. “I told them that he was a former coworker.” You gave him a stern look that needed no further explanation. Jungkook’s eyebrows lift, acknowledging your silent plea.

Namjoon clears his throat. “Hey, great speech, man. Very inspiring,” he says with all sincerity.

“Thank you, hyung,” your brother says bashfully. “Were you guys surprised?”

“I mean—I’m not shocked that you got it but I’m surprised that you didn’t tell us about it in advance,” you said.

“We’re very proud of you, son.” You dad says.

“Yeah, appa even stayed up through the whole thing,” you teased.

“Aish, YN…” Your dad says in reaction to your little ribbing.

Jungkook snickers. “That’s one of the highest compliments I’ll ever get from you, appa!” He goes in for a side hug and your dad musses up his hair.

Namjoon chuckles to himself while he watches you interact with your family.

Your mom then excitedly clasps her hands in front of her. “Well, we have dinner reservations at a restaurant closeby. We would love for you to join us, Namjoon,” she says with a cheeky smile.

“We?” You mumble out of the corner of your mouth, giving your mom a side-eye.

Before Namjoon can answer, you interject. “Eomma, I’m sure Namjoon-ssi has to get back home or has other plans—“

“But you don’t right, hyung?” Jungkook interrupts. “I mean, you came all this way. Please join us. It would be an honor,” he says.

“Yes, the more the merrier. Did you drive here?” Your dad asks him.

Namjoon grimaces. “Uh—“

“He doesn’t drive, appa,” you interrupt.

“Oh,” he waves you off. “Well, you can ride with us, if you want? I think Jungkook-ah invited a couple of friends to join us as well so they’re going in his car.”

Three pairs of eyes await your answer while Namjoon peers at you from your peripheral vision. You sighed in defeat. “I mean–only if he doesn’t have anywhere else to be at–” 

“Then it’s settled! So, Namjoon–” your mom comfortably wraps her hand around Namjoon’s elbow while they both stroll out of the venue. “What are your feelings about horticulture? You look like somebody who likes to prune houseplants.”

“Well, as a matter of fact–” Your mom giggles in reaction while you roll your eyes behind them.

“I didn’t know they had men who look like that in public policy,” your dad mutters.

“What do you mean by that?” You ask.

“Exactly what I just said! The height, the hair, the dimples–I’m surprised he went into this line of work hiding behind charts and statistics when he could have been an idol. No wonder your mom is already fawning over him,” he says.

You groaned. “Don’t get attached, appa.”

“Crap, I have to keep an eye out on your mom–” he rushes to catch up to her and Namjoon.

“I mean…it’s kind of hard not to get attached,” Jungkook says before he puts his arms around your neck, wiggling his eyebrows at you. “Right, noona? Ow!” He clutches his side after you pinch him there.

“Let’s just take your damn pictures and get this over with,” you said while you scowled at Namjoon’s back.

******

“I honestly thought that she was going to rip my head off when I raised the issue about her project’s budget.”

The seating arrangement was less than ideal for you, to say the least. You wanted Jungkook to sit between you and Namjoon but he reasoned that he didn’t want his friends to feel left out.

Your parents wanted to sit together because they frequently ate from each other’s plates.

You roll your eyes at Namjoon, who is now seated next to you. “No, I wasn’t,” you protest dryly.

“Hmm–but you were thinking it,” he smiles at you. You grit your teeth at the sight of that dimple on his cheek.

“I mean–if I’m going to be honest…” Your family laughs as Namjoon entertains them with anecdotes from your time together at work, carefully glossing over other personal, more private stories.

“Would anybody like some dessert?” The server asks the table.

Your mom, Namjoon, and Jungkook’s friends decline while you, your brother and dad peruse the dessert menu. Jungkook orders a brownie a la mode which he surprisingly agrees to share with your dad.

You, on the other hand, are intrigued by one particular item. “Can I get the mint-chocolate ice cream cake?”

“Very good choice, miss. We make it in-house and, if I may say, it would convert any mint-chocolate ice cream hater,” the server says enthusiastically.

“Wow, imagine that!” You say sarcastically at Namjoon’s direction as you hand the menu back to the server.

“I highly doubt that claim,” he says contritely while he takes a sip of his water.

Jungkook sniggers to himself.

“Don’t box yourself in, Namjoon. You should–give it a try first, you know? Before you completely write it off as something that wouldn’t work for your taste.”

“My taste is just fine,” he says in a low, husky tone.

You purse your lips at his voice–it’s the same one he uses when asking you to cum for him. You swallowed hard. “Is it just–not to your liking, or–”

“It’s not that I don’t like it–I just…don’t want to be selfish and keep something so good to myself.”

“Mm–” you say dismissively. “That sounds like a load of crap to me.”

“Well–do you think that you can change my opinion about it?” He challenges.

You sighed in exasperation. “It’s not up to me to change your opinion about it–because you’ve already clearly decided for yourself without even opening yourself to…possibilities.”

He scoffs at you. “Why would I take a chance at something that might set me up for disappointment?”

“Well, that’s the whole point, isn’t it? You won’t know it until you try. You think that you already know what to expect–just because you’ve had something similar in the past. And just because you get the same thing dressed up in a different form–with other ingredients–you just automatically disregard all of those other things because you latch on to the one thing that gave you the negative experience. And now, you just lump it together with the past and write it off as the same thing. That’s some really intelligent reasoning there.”

You were seething after your random, oddball babbling. You weren’t even aware that your faces were already a couple of inches away from each other.

The whole table has fallen silent as they watch you bicker about…dessert?

“Is...this...still about the ice cream cake?” Jungkook says slowly.

“I dunno, bro…but she makes a pretty convincing argument,” Jungkook’s friend utters with his eyes wide. He turns to flag down your server to order a mint-chocolate ice cream cake for himself.

******

After the awkwardness during dessert dissipates, Jungkook’s friends mention that there was a small gathering that included a group of people from their class at a karaoke bar not too far away from the restaurant.

Your mom gives Jungkook a stern warning not to drink and drive. And if they did drink, to promptly call a rideshare instead. Your brother was responsible–at least you could count on that 100%.

Your parents then ask if you wanted to head back to the hotel, prompting Namjoon to say his goodbyes to your parents and say a final congratulations to Jungkook all while telling him to keep in touch about some connections to a television network that his brother works for.

Your mom then pushes you to be polite and walk Namjoon out of the restaurant to exchange some proper goodbyes to your ‘friend.’

“Please tell your parents thank-you for having me.”

“Sure.”

“And uh–I’ll be in touch with some contacts at a couple firms–”

“You can drop the act, Namjoon.”

He is taken aback but still gives you a small smile. “YN, I’m not—“

“You don’t…” you sighed in exasperation. “You don’t have to do all this anymore. You don’t need to charm my family or make jokes...talk about plants with my mom.”

You took another deep breath. “I really thought you wouldn’t even think about coming up here.” You paced around while heat rose up to your head. Your heartbeat thumping.

Namjoon treads carefully. “I...I wasn't at first but then Jungkook texted me to confirm. Plus, I already had the ticket and, I just thought why not. I really wasn’t expecting—“

“What are you trying to do?“ You stop your angry pacing abruptly to face him, silently waiting for an answer. You watched him chew at his bottom lip, attempting to explain himself. When he had nothing, you continued your verbal assault.

“You and I… are done. I don’t get why you’re trying to insert yourself in my life. The last couple weeks, you put in all of this energy pushing me away…and then—you show up like this? For what? To taunt me?“ Your voice was soft but pained.

He shakes his head. “I’m not taunting you, YN.”

“Yes, you are!” You said as your aggression breaks through the surface. After weeks of smashing down everything that you felt, you were amazed at how much you were able to hold in when you always had trouble simply zipping up your carry-on luggage with 3-days worth of outfits.

“YN, I’m not–”

“Yes, it’s what you do, Namjoon. It’s what you’ve done to me for the last couple of years.” Bile starts to rise up your throat. You feel the acid coat your next words.

“You love to watch me squirm. You know which buttons to push–just to see if you can get a fucking rise out of me. Well, I’m done playing your little game, Kim Namjoon! You got what you wanted. I won’t be lingering the halls any longer to steal any more dream projects for you. So you can just–”

“You weren’t even going to say goodbye to me?” He straightens out, his voice rising over yours.

You furrowed your brows and let out a humorless laugh at his audacity. “You’re fucking kidding, right? You were expecting me to say goodbye to you?”

He grits his teeth. “I just thought that after everything—“

“No, Namjoon!” You say loudly. “No! You are not doing this to me.”

You stood there, chest heaving, clenching your fists to try to rein in your anger. You’ve cried and mourned him enough. You would not crumble now.

You hold your arms out on either side of you, “You wanted me to leave so badly—” before dropping them hastily to your sides in defeat. “That’s what I’m doing.”

“It’s only because I want what’s best for you–”

“Shouldn’t I know what’s best for me? What about what I want? Did you ever care to ask me that?”

He shook his head gently. “YN, you shouldn’t make decisions impulsively. You have to really sit down and think about it–weigh all of your options, look at every angle, risk and reward. Haejin’s offer is a huge opportunity most of us can only dream about.”

You inhaled sharply. “Do you remember when I asked you—point-blank—if this,” You gestured at the space between you, “—Was going anywhere? Then you told me…you told me that you’d never get tired of me.” Your voice started to crack.

His expression hardens. “What did you expect me to do, YN? I didn’t think you’d get a job offer that would take you away from me!”

“But that’s the thing, though. It wasn’t going to take me away from you–that’s what you fail to understand! I sat there when I got the offer and you know what my first thought was? You!” You poked your finger at him in mid-air.

Guilt starts to eat away at him–chipping away at his resolve. His jaw starts to tick, the gears circling, grinding painfully in his head. 

“Yes–I was taking you into consideration during one of the biggest decisions I’ve had to make in my career. For a second there, I actually thought–no–I felt that I didn’t need to worry about you–especially after we talked. It pushed whatever doubts I had aside,” you said.

You then chuckled bitterly. “And I was willing to work everything around you because–” you paused for a beat, “Because I love you!” 

You were completely enraged at this point and this was not how you imagined ever saying those words to him. The day he left from DC after surprising you, you thought about blurting it out then–but decided that you’d wait until you got back, for the perfect moment. Maybe–while you were doing something mundane like cooking dinner or brushing your teeth; One morning, while you made the bed or got ready for work; Or in the middle of an impassioned kiss or embrace.

But there would be no perfect moment. It would never come.

“For some reason, I got it in my head that…that you loved me, too. And I wanted to do everything that I could so I wouldn’t lose you–us.” You swallowed hard then clutched at your chest, trying to prevent it from bursting open.

Namjoon did love you, too. And it clawed his insides at how much he was holding back at this moment. He flexed his jaw, not from irritation–but because he was finally realizing what a big mistake he had made.

“But I was right…it was just all in my head. I just never fucking learn.” You let out another humorless laugh. “The last few weeks, I worked really hard to make my peace with it. And I thought I was doing a pretty good job at it…until now. You, being here?” You paused, trying to steady your quivering lower lip.

“It just fucking hurts…too much.” Your voice wavering while you stifled a sob. “So you ask me why I won’t say goodbye to you? Well–there’s your answer,” you said in barely a whisper.

A fat teardrop finally pushes its way through, Namjoon flinches to try and wipe it away but you were already way ahead of him. You swipe at the offending salty discharge immediately and clear your throat, composing yourself. 

“YN, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to feel like I’d be holding you back from anything. That’s the last thing that I want–”

“I’m not Mayumi, Namjoon.” You cut him off abruptly.

That felt like a crisp slap in the face. He pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek. “I know you’re not,” he says softly, looking at your face.

After a beat of silence, you blew out a long, melancholic breath. “And yet somehow, you’ve still managed to severely underestimate me.”

Namjoon catches his lips with his teeth, feeling the pressure of tears in the back of his throat. He wants to take it all back and take a chance. Before he opens his mouth to speak again, you decide to finish this dead-end of a conversation.

“Anyway…Thank you, Namjoon–for knocking me back to reality. Thanks for supporting my brother by coming all the way out here. I’m sure he appreciates it. I hope you have a great rest of your life.” You upturn the corners of your mouth to give him a wry smile before turning away to walk back in.

“YN, wait—“ he calls out to you, his own voice cracking.

“It’s over, Namjoon…in case that wasn’t clear enough for your ivy-league brain.” You say past your shoulder, leaving him standing in the parking lot.

******

You smile and laugh at your brother’s jokes for the remainder of the night. And thank god for that because it distracted your mom from asking too many questions about your impromptu dinner guest.

Jungkook didn’t prod you–he already knew. He desperately wanted to stay back to comfort you at the hotel but you pushed him to go out with his friends instead. It was one of the last nights when he didn’t have to worry about paying his own bills. It was his day and he had the right to celebrate all of his hard work.

You and your parents drove back after your dad settled the bill. Once you shut the door to your room, you let the tears fall freely until you somehow passed out from your sobs. You woke up, neither feeling better nor worse off. Maybe it was better this way.

In a few days, you'll leave for your trip–and Namjoon will be a mere scar. It would be one of those ugly ones that others would notice. And maybe, eventually…you’d be able to talk about how it came to be. For now, you’d just let the wound heal, scab over. How long would that take? You had no idea. But you had a year and about a dozen countries in between to help you figure that out.

Part 10 (finale) + Epilogue◥

AN/2: When I wrote portions of this, I was going through an intense wave of emotions brought on by a recent minor procedure that my daughter had (it's been over a week and she's doing fine now). I was just incredibly frustrated and tired...and tired-fighting with your partner/spouse is...less than ideal. Anyway, you might be able to pinpoint which part/s I basically bled myself into so...sorry for the extra angst!

Thank you for reading!

If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn't like it so much, I would still like to hear about it 💜

Taglist: @deepseavibez @dany-but-not-targaryen @scuzmunkie @sweetjellyfishland @joeybeanxbts @amylouisecullen @knjkitten @gcintia @daphnxy @rkivecenter @serendididy @arisud @kalala22 @little-dark-empress @humasthings-blog @katribbon @reliablemittenmain @joheunsaram @kissme-ornot @lulumimi (can't tag)