IntelliJ Could Say That My Life Is Useless And I Would Still Do As It Says

IntelliJ could say that my life is useless and I would still do as it says

IntelliJ said that one of my while loops does not loop. I removed the while. Compiler disagreed.

I-...

this-....

wow. 

Red Robin Yum

Pairing: Tim Drake/Reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 5,107

Summary: Reader seduces Tim in a grocery store, hoping to see him snap. 

A/N: Special thanks to my beta reader Ms. Potato. I can post a pic of the ahem “outfit” if you guys want! 

Masterlist

Ao3

Afficher davantage

Impatient Jason is cute

Animated series of the mirror visitor quartet Studio Ghibli style. Please and thank you!!

Bruce Wayne: a parenting attempt

Bruce: Dick, don’t hang from the chandelier

Dick: but it’s fun

Bruce: You’ll get hurt

Dick: You know that would be an excellent point if you didn’t let me run around fighting criminals when I was eight

Bruce: [tired] …you’re not getting down.

Dick: Very astute

-

Bruce: Cassandra… [coughs] about these new friends of yours…

Cass: [stares]

Bruce: they… uh…

Cass: [stares with puppy eyes]

Bruce:

Bruce: they… [sighs] seem nice.

Cass: [grins and hops off to hang out with Harley Quinn]

Bruce: [quietly] I’m SO weak

-

Bruce: Jason. You should stop-

Jason: no

Bruce: Bu-

Jason: [leaving] no

Bruce: I-

Jason: [from outside] NO

-

Bruce: Absolutely NOT. There will be NO more animals in this house. We already have enough for a small zoo

Damian: [carrying three kittens] -tt-

Bruce: [reaching out] hand them over

Damian: [hisses, dodges Bruce’s arm and slips past him into the house]

Bruce: [shouts after him] That won’t make me let you keep them!

{later}

Bruce:

Bruce: shit I can’t tell which cats were already here before

Bruce: [lifts a random cat to eye level] Are you new?

-

Bruce: That’s it. No more coffee for you

Tim: [on hour 39 without sleep, clutching a gigantic mug]

Bruce: [trying to wrestle him for the cup] I’m serious Tim, that’s- wait is this coffee… fizzing?

Tim: I’m like THIS close to solving this case Bruce you can’t DO this to me

Bruce: [spotting a pile of soda cans under the desk] did you- did you put ENERGY DRINKS in this??

Tim: [shifty-eyed] no?

Bruce: [tries to pull the mug out of Tim’s grip and only succeeds in dragging Tim and his rolling chair across the cave] Let go!

Tim: NOOOoooooooooo

Bruce: [stuggling] I swear to god Tim

Clark, stopped by while in Gotham on assignment: [watches as Bruce slowly traverses the cave, pulling Tim along by the mug] I- uhh

Bruce: [Wiggling his arm to dislodge the mug, causing Tim and the chair to swivel back and forth while Tim clutches the coffee and Bruce’s arm with all limbs like a sloth] DO NOT JUDGE ME CLARK

Clark: Bruce, this is an intervention.

Bruce: …

Diana: It’s about the adoptions.

Bruce: [scoffs]

Oliver: You have too many fucking kids Brucie. How do you even tell them apart?

Bruce: [glaring] Oh really? Why don’t we ask my children if they think I have a “problem”? Surely their opinion should be considered?

—At the Manor—

Bruce: [to Tim] Do you think I adopt too many children?

Tim: Oh please tell me you didn’t. What’s this one? Assassin? Alien? Vengeful ghost?

Steph: Vengeful Alien Assassin Ghost?

Bruce: [to Jason] do you-

Jason: I’m here because Alfred made cupcakes. Don’t presume that means you can talk to me.

Bruce: Dick! Do you think I adopt too many children?

Dick: You’re an adult B. Just remember that if you take in another kid YOU have to take care of it, I’ve got my hands full with tha last one.

Bruce: [to Cass] what about you?

Cass: [signs] I also will not take care of it

Bruce: [to Damian] do I adopt too many-

Damian: Yes. To rectify it, you should disown Drake.

Tim: [from the other side of the room] HEY- FUCK YOU TOO

Bruce: [to Billy Batson] do you think I adopt too many children?

Clark: Bruce, that’s not one of yours

Bruce: [confused] what?

Billy: [to Damian] am I adopted now?

Jason: yes

Oliver: See, this proves-

Bruce: [to Jon Kent] do you-

Clark: HEY! That one’s mine!

Steph: [from behind him, in a creepy voice] Not anymore

Jason, Tim, Cass, and Duke: [chanting] One of us! One of us! One of us!

Clark: [genuinely distraught] Diana! Make them stop! Jon you’re not allowed to visit here anymore!