The Nail Salon I Went To Today Was Playing A Strings Version Of Despacito On Repeat.

The nail salon I went to today was playing a strings version of Despacito on repeat.

Nobody:

My little sister: Are you gonna draw Thanos wearing a skirt? I wanna draw all the Thanoses.

A Book in the United States, Myanmar, and Liberia: She was wearing a red sock on one foot and a purple one on the other.

The Same Book, But Everywhere Else: She was wearing a red sock on one 0.3048 meters and a purple one on the other.

Game Theory: Castle Crashers

When you kill the ninjas, they turn into wood. The ninjas don’t actually die they’re just doing a substitution jutsu 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Me: Do you like my bag?

Mom: It’s red like that Ted guy or is it Fred? Maybe he changed his name?

Me: No, I think it was actually a case of Identity Fred.

*me getting ready to invade other planets* time for anal probing