Started Re-reading Htn

started re-reading htn

you’re fucked, my lad

There are two wolves inside of you. One is the urge to overanalize every frame of that trailer to predict possible plotlines because you just can't wait and one is the trust in the creators that makes you want to go in blind in order to really and fully experience this for the first time because you can still analyse later on.

characters who view themselves as tools/weapons first and people second... characters who martyr themselves for a cause because they think that's the only way they can be worth something... characters who push themselves past their breaking point again and again and again... characters for whom devotion and masochism are inseparable... characters whose self-sacrifice becomes self-annihilation...... what was my point again? i had a point. anyway.

Rotate them in my mind like in microwave

Ianthe thought she was so fucking smart when she achieved lyctorhood before anyone else without seeing any of the chambers. Thought she was so clever to just eat her cavalier whole against the will of everyone.

How stupid must she have felt when she watched the birth of Paul, and realized that if she'd done more work, tried just a little harder, taken a step back and slowed down she could have united hers and Corona's souls for eternity.

Corona who cried that she hadn't been chosen at her sister's ascension. Ianthe who hadn't chosen her because she couldn't bear to lose her, like a naive fool. Choosing immortality condemned Ianthe to inevitably lose Corona. That moment she started the stop watch, and I'll bet never even realized until that impromptu birthday party.

And to rub it in Paul tells her there is still time for her and Naberius to be perfect, like she cared a scrap about Naberius. but there is no time for her and Corona, she and Corona will never have that chance again.

God she must have screamed and screamed