"I Really Felt Something, Really. I'm Not Saying You Didn't, But It Seems Like You Didn't Feel It Enough."

"I really felt something, really. I'm not saying you didn't, but it seems like you didn't feel it enough."

Why is everyone so obsessed with INFJs?

INFJs are natural masters of mirroring emotions (that is, they shadow your subconscious in a way that disarms you because you see your feelings mirrored in them) . They are introverts, but come across extraverted in individual exchanges for this reason (warm and inviting). They don’t directly challenge people, but instead get people to challenge themselves. That is, they are disarming due to their ability to quickly read others body language, emotions and genuine feelings about, well anything. In this, they are adept at getting others to feel comfortable — opening up.

Talking with an INFJ for a short period of time leaves me feeling comfortable communicating about all kinds of things I wouldn’t normally share with a stranger (that is, I quickly feel understood where few understand me). The exchange is one direction, by design, and that’s not really on purpose but just a natural process of INFJ exchange. For when you step back and think about it you realize that the INFJ hasn’t really shared much of their own feelings, but rather they created a very safe non threatening place for you to express your own - and in the moment you feel on the same page as them. This is what intrigues me most about INFJs, they have very strong values and opinions but often don’t share them out of respect for a deeper and stronger desire to allow people to be authentically themselves - that is, they don’t want to poison other’s natural opinions by injecting their own that may conflict. In this regard, the INFJ feels connected to a human and they are driven to understand and help others feel understood. This culminates in their desire to help people help themselves and become more full. The paradox here is that the INFJ wants to be understood too, but they are guarded (I suspect out of a human state [or projection] of feeling others can read them the way they read people so well — as an INFJ it must be scary to think someone could look into their soul and see so transparently how they really feel about the world, it’s easier to keep that hidden so that it doesn’t disrupt the harmony they’ve created with the other). It takes a lot of connection and a long time for an INFJ to really trust themselves to share their true feelings (the deep dark sides of their soul) with others.

What this does, is it creates this mysterious draw towards the INFJ who can quickly clam up and withdraw from exchanges when the world bares down on them (which it does often). This leaves people (particularly other deep, intuitive types) wanting to understand them. I have yet to meet an INFJ that I wasn’t intrigued by. They are deep and caring souls, who often take on the weight of the world for those they mentor and care for. The best I can articulate it is to assign them the title sherpard of souls - to those fortunate enough to be in their world. It’s only natural to want to return the favor, in trying to understand them better.