Ney Wearing A Banyan And My Headcanon About His Glasses

Ney wearing a banyan and my headcanon about his glasses👓✨

Can’t pass on such an amazing topic for discussion and leave it without any commentary from my part!

Even though I pretty much stopped posting about Austrian affairs in the Napoleonic era, I’m still fascinated by the subject and would love to see some piece of media focusing on Imperial strifes and struggles during the exact same time period. And since nobody wants to do anything, I’d love to do it myself! If I only had such an opportunity. 🇦🇹✨

Like… those events made such an impact on a scale of European and world history. Yet it seems, that despite vast historical research being carried out on the Habsburg’s monarchy general public tends to know literally nothing about fundamentals. The fall of the Holy Roman Empire was not something that occurs every now and then. And people who lived through this whole mess were not just some boring imperialists, reactionaries and conservatives. 🤡

(Frankly speaking, many of them were all of those things at once… Still I whole-heartedly believe that they can be unbelievably captivating and deserve to be explored too!)

Documentaries are always appreciated, however I’d kill for a fully-fledged series about Kaiser Franz, his mind-blowing family and his court because oh man, what a court it was. Also, we desperately need a proper series about the Congress of Vienna! At least 4 seasons of drama, political intrigues and scandalous love affairs. It could be a show of a century! 😩🤌

My bad: I’ve started talking about series - not films - from the beginning, since, in my opinion, themes that I’ve mentioned require series and only series. There are so many things to explore, no film would be able to depict even a hundredth of what is needed to be shown.

Nevertheless, if we get back to the “film” topic, I’ll definitely ask for a decent biopic about Metternich without caricature exaggeration of his evilness and narrow-mindedness. 👏 Metternich 👏 has 👏 rights 👏 too 👏! That eccentric man was broken beyond repair by life-circumstances and it’s unbelievably tragic to witness, what a person could become because of their predisposition and bias.

At last, just to make this whole rant even worse…

Schwarzenberg.

Like, anything focusing him to let people know about someone who confronted Napoleon (much more complexly and excitingly, from my point of view, sorry not sorry) aside tsar Alexander and Wellington.

Das Ende der Geschichte. 😑

Your Ideal Napoleonic Era Movie

If someone gave you like Insane James Cameron Avatar money to make a Napoleonic film and every perfect actor, choreographer, screenwriter, and other logistics you needed was available to you, what you would do?

I'm just curious. I was discussing with a friend about how it was physically impossible to do the entirety of Naps' career in one movie in a satisfactory manner due to the absolute length of his military career.

But I had nothing cognizant to suggest for a movie about Napoleon.

The only thing I want is having the Napster sitting on his secretary's lap for no reason ever provided.

The guy was like a cat with ADHD from what I figure.

Maybe I just want guys chilling in an explicitly not 20th-21st century "we gotta No Homo everything" way.

And obviously, if I had more money on my hands than I knew what to do with for a Napoleonic film, I would hire the prettiest man for a Louis-Francois Lejeune biopic. xD

Maria Leopoldine of Austria-Este

 @microcosme11​ had asked me about this lady of the Bavarian court:

Her name is Maria Leopoldine von Österreich-Este, and she played a huge role in making sure that Max Joseph, Eugène‘s future father-in-law, inherited the title of Elector of Bavaria. As a matter of fact, it‘s a highly educating tale of how to become elector in Munich in the first place.

Unfortunately, it will need a lot of explanation, as this takes us deeply into the rivalries and century-old feuds between the different German principalities that Napoleon Bonaparte would soon know to exploit so well. Let‘s just say, Habsburg (Austria) and Wittelsbach (Bavaria) had not seen eye to eye for quite some time when the Bavarian branch of House Wittelsbach, the one holding the position of Bavarian elector, was about to go extinct.

Many branches of the family went extinct around that time, in fact, and not only of this family. Be it that centuries of inbreeding finally took their toll, be it a general unwillingness to do more than the bare minimum to ensure the family had an appropriate heir (»No, no, no. We‘ve done our duty, we‘ve had one son. It‘s not our fault he died. We‘re not doing that again!«) or even to marry an appropriate but not necessarily attractive partner with whom you could have children able to inherit – the number of males in those princely families got rather low during the 18th century.

In 1777 – twelve years before the French Revolution, just for context – Maximilian Joseph III, the last elector from the old Bavarian branch of the Wittelsbach family, died without a son. There were of course more branches of the family, most importantly the branch that held the electorate of the Palatinate, and then some less important, not ruling branches, like the Zweibrücken-Birkenfelds. Now, technically, if a German prince died without an heir, things would get all medieval: the liege – the Bavarian electorate, in this case - would fall back to the liege lord. The emperor.

The Habsburg emperor in Vienna! No f-ing way!

… said not only the Bavarians but also the kings of France and Prussia, who had no interest in Austria gaining that much territory. In order to prevent it from happening, the different Wittelsbach branches in a multitude of »house contracts« had declared several years before that the family branches would all inherit from each other if one went extinct. The Austrians might have protested against that arrangement but they had just done something quite similar in order to ensure that the last emperor‘s daughter Maria Theresia could inherit, so they were in a bad position to argue. Which doesn‘t mean they didn‘t. But after some more bad blood, even a »War of the Bavarian Succession« that is a funny story in itself, things settled down, and a guy named Karl Theodor (Charles Theodore) became elector of both Bavaria and the Palatinate.

There was a huge down-side to this advancement, from his perspective: he had to move to Bavaria. Uncivilised, almost medieval, hilly-billy Bavaria. He hated that place, and for good reasons. He was a very cultivated person, and this was a very uncultivated place (according to some, it still is *coughcough*). The Bavarians, as to them, liked this new guy in Munich about as much as he liked them. And another problem was already looming on the horizon: Karl Theodor had plenty of children – but only one son with his wife, and this son happened to die a day after he was born. Apparently this was one of those cases where the spouses thought once had been enough and refused to give it another try. And Karl Theodor could not even marry somebody else because – catholic. No divorce. And his unloved wife was in good health. To sum up: No immediate heir in this family either.

Which brings us to the Zweibrücken family branch. At the time when Karl Theodor moved to Munich, this branch of the Wittelsbach family consisted of two brothers: Karl August and Maximilian Joseph (yes, that‘s our Max, future king of Bavaria). Their father, Friedrich Michael, had died young as a military officer in French service, so they had grown up at the court of their uncle, Friedrich Michael‘s older brother Christian. Christian – just saying – had simply refused to marry a partner of equal birth and instead conducted a morganatic marriage with a French actress. A very happy one, by the way. The burden to ensure the family would continue thus had fallen to Friedrich Michael, who had married a sister of Karl Theodor‘s wife, had made her four kids (two sons, two daughters) and bedded pretty much every willing lady of the French court before accusing his wife of adultery, locking her up in some monastery (Max Joseph probably saw his mother last when he was three years old), and then getting himself killed in some war or other.

By 1778, both Friedrich Michael and Christian were dead, and as Christian‘s many children could not inherit his titles, Karl August had become Count Palatine of Zweibrücken (Deux-Ponts in French). Due to his »uncle« Karl Theodor‘s lack of a legitimate son, he and his younger brother Max Joseph also were the next heirs to the combined Bavarian and Palatine electorate.

(Karl August, older brother to future king Max Joseph)

Meanwhile in Munich, Karl Theodor really got annoyed with this gruesome country he had been forced to move into. However, for the first time in a long while this was a Bavarian elector who had good relations with the Habsburgs. After some negotiations between Munich and Vienna Karl Theodor and emperor Joseph II came up with a plan that would make everybody happy: Karl Theodor would exchange the Bavarian territory (or some portion of it) for the Austrian Netherlands. Austria would finally add Bavaria to its territory, and Karl Theodor could move to a nicer place.

This caused an uproar among the Bavarian population. Becoming Austrians? Never! - The Bavarian estates sent delegation after delegation to the Zweibrücken nephews with desperate pleas for help (they also paid these nephews‘ debts). Karl August and Max Joseph immediately protested against the plan, and it turned out that according to the fineprint in those house contracts mentioned above Karl Theodor could not make the deal with Vienna without his nephews‘ consent. Bummer.

France and Prussia also put a word in, and France did even more: When Karl August‘s only son (yet another only child) died in 1784, with little chance for a legitimate replacement, the French king personally made sure that Max Joseph, the younger brother, a great womanizer and obstinate bachelor, would get married to an appropriate lady who could give birth to many legitimate heirs of the Bavarian electorate (oh, and Louis also paid Max Joseph‘s debts. That‘s a recurring theme in the story). Max Joseph, after lots of wailing and resisting, was finally dragged in front of the altar in 1785 and, to his great surprise, found that he loved marriage life, family and children. Not necessarily enough to give up on his womanizing ways. But this whole family thing, having kids and stuff? That was also kinda fun.

(Max Joseph’s first wife Auguste Wilhelmine and their two oldest children, crown prince Ludwig and - yes, that’s little Auguste)

Let‘s fast forward a little: The French Revolution breaks out. Max Joseph, so far one of the many foreign princes in French service, looses everything and, with a wife and five children, becomes a refugee. For some time, so does his brother. Then over the next years, many people die: Max‘s first wife (he will quickly remarry), one of his daughters - and his brother Karl August. Making Max Joseph the heir apparent to the electorate of the Palatinate and of Bavaria.

Except that, in 1794, one more person died: Elector Karl Theodor‘s wife. The Austrians acted quickly and offered the mourning widower (who had 70 years of age) an archduchess as new bride in order to produce an heir with, just so Bavaria would not fall into the clutches of this former French colonel Max Joseph von Zweibrücken who was very unlikely to make any similar deals with the Habsburgs.

And now we finally can introduce the lady this is all about:

Maria Leopoldine was the daughter of Ferdinand Karl von Österreich-Este, who in turn was one of the many children of Maria Theresia (i.e. a brother to the emperors Joseph and Leopold and queens Marie Antoinette and Maria Carolina of Naples) and ruled in Milan. (A year after Maria Leopoldine had married, her family would be kicked out of their home by one Napoleon Bonaparte and his army of Italy). She was 19 years old when she was ordered to marry 70-year-old elector Karl Theodor, and a young lady with lots of self-esteem. Allegedly, when she first saw the bridegroom‘s portrait, she exclaimed: »Thank god he‘s already that old!« - Obviously, it was love on first sight.

The marriage life of the happy newly-weds turned out to be just as full of harmony and roses as could be expected: Maria Leopoldine locked her bedroom door. Well, at least for her husband. Not so much for anybody else. And to make matters worse, her new »nephew« Max Joseph showed up in Munich, as he did from time to time. Just to remind Karl Theodor who was his heir probably, but this time ostensibly to pay his homage to the new aunt Maria Leopoldine. According to a story crown prince Ludwig was told much later, Max Joseph was quite thorough about this task and, unlike his uncle, did make it into Maria Leopoldine‘s bedroom. Did I mention Max never quite gave up on his womanizing ways?

In any case, Maria Lepoldine had made up her mind: She very much preferred the nephew over her husband, thank you for asking. If there was anything she could do to ensure the Austrians (that is, her own Habsburg family!) would not receive Bavaria, she would do it.

Turns out, she could do a lot.

Fast forward to 1799. Karl Theodor suffers from a stroke while playing cards. It‘s not his first, but this one is serious. The old elector still breathes, but the doctors are agreed there‘s nothing they can do. It‘s just a matter of time now.

Time that the Austrian ambassadors in Munich want to use. Contracts for an exchange or sale of Bavarian territory to Austria have long been drawn up, all they need is the elector‘s signature! Surely now, in his last hours, Karl Theodor will not hesitate any longer? They enter the Munich Residence, talk or bribe their way into the private rooms of the elector’s family, into the elector‘s rooms, to his bedroom - and then there‘s somebody on the doorstep. Maria Leopoldine.

And. She. Will. Not. Move. - Forget Gandalf against the Balrog of Moria. Maria Leopoldine against the Habsburg ambassador was the real thing. In the end, the Austrians, most likely after lots of cursing and footstomping, had to leave. In case they hoped they would be luckier at another occasion, they were disappointed: For the first time during their marriage, Maria Leopoldine focused solely on her husband and gave him all her attention, until he breathed his last.

At which point she had all gates of Munich locked. All Austrian couriers on their way to inform Vienna were turned back. The only dispatch that did go out was one to Max Joseph, in which Maria Leopoldine declared herself Max‘s devoted subject and invited him to come to Munich and take over power as soon as possible.

Which Max did. Not necessarily as quickly and forcefully as Maria Leopoldine had acted. But it sufficed.

There was one more point in which Maria Leopoldine helped Max a lot. After her husband‘s death, state officials in the presence of the Austrian ambassador had an interview with her, inquiring if Maria Leopoldine happened to be pregnant. Because a son by Karl Theodor, even posthumously born, would have inherited before Max Joseph. She answered »No«.

Now, as chance would have it, some months later, she went on a lengthy journey that we are very badly informed about, and only returned a year later, after most likely having given birth to a child somewhere on the way. A child whose father surely had not been Karl Theodor. But the Austrians probably would not have cared.

Maria Leopoldine stayed in Munich, much beloved by Max Joseph, and became the enfant terrible of his court, had lovers in abundance, excelled at investing her money, at some point bought a farm where she, if need be, personally helped with the hay-making, and even married morganatically (possibly so she had an official father for her children). She was a close friend of Eugène but not so much of his wife. Maybe she never quite forgave Auguste that her arranged marriage had turned out so well when her own had been such a disaster.

(Maria Leopoldine in later years, with her two sons)

Late decoration of a Christmas tree accompanied by that one film about the Congress of Vienna which gets even worse after every single rewatch… However, I enjoy it a lot anyway. X)

Peculiar choice of a favourite holiday film, for sure, but who am I to judge myself… Especially for Conrad Veidt!

On this cheerful note I’d love to wish everyone in the Napoleonic community Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Hope that despite all odds common interests are going to unite people all over the world forever and ever. 🎄⭐️

Maria Theresa’s contemporaries already praised (...) her “manliness of soul,” her virilità d’anima. Some even called her a “Grand-Homme”; “in the attractive body of a queen” she was “fully a king, in the most glorious, all-encompassing sense of the word.” Later historians reprised the theme, describing her as a “man filled with insight and vigor.” That a masculine soul could reside in a female body had long been a commonplace, albeit one used less to elevate women than to cast shame on men. Praising a woman for her manly bravery or resolution, her masculine courage or spirit, served above all as an indirect criticism of men (…) When a woman is said to be the better man, this casts a devastating judgment on all her male peers. The key point is that calling an exceptional woman like Maria Theresa a “real man” consolidates the sexual hierarchy rather than calling it into question. Such praise assumes that masculinity is a compliment and that the male sex is and remains superior.

For the eighteenth century, a period when the dynastic principle still largely held sway throughout Europe, there was nothing especially unusual about a female head of state. While a woman on the throne was perceived even then as less desirable, she was not yet a contradiction; the spheres of the public and the private, politics and the family were not yet categorically distinct. Maria Theresa’s contemporaries already found it remarkable that a representative of the lesser sex could wield such power. But they did not regard her rule as entirely anomalous: she was “a woman, and a mother to her country, just as a prince can be a man and father to his country.” Her rule proved that “the greatest of all the arts, that of governing kingdoms, is not beyond the soul of a lady.” What was extraordinary, in the eighteenth-century context, was less the fact that a woman held the scepter of power than that a monarch, whether male or female, took the task of government so seriously. Princes came in many forms—patrons of the arts, skirt-chasers, war heroes, family fathers, scholars, philosophers—and each prince could shape his everyday life as he saw fit. Very few approached the task of rule with the single-minded dedication of a Maria Theresa. She met the criteria of a conscientious ruler to a remarkable degree, far more than most other sovereigns of the time.

Stollberg-Rilinger, Barbara (2020). Maria Theresa: The Habsburg Empress in her Time (translation by Robert Savage)

Wellington, holding in his laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

Metternich: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.

Wellington:

Wellington: Water you doing?