Craft-of-the-wicked-and-wise - Witches And Writing - Tumblr Blog

"you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you" if you insist on treating me like a beast then you can't be shocked when i play the part

It is the great tragedy of this world that you can go see the new Mad Max movie, but when you leave the theater you still have to drive home at speed limit in your unmodded Honda civic. and use your turn signals

"someone who allows you to rest" is the relationship dynamic of all time

cat laziness is so contagious. you'll see your cat flopped on its back in your bed a completely comfy cozy baby and you'll be like. you're right. you make a compelling argument.

Bothersome beast, comforting friend

psyduck

A hiker, clearly shaken, enters a remote English village pub, his clothes all torn and he's full of scratches. 

"You won't believe this," he says to the bartender. "I was attacked by a leopard!"

"Really?"

"Yes! A leopard! In England!" The hiker sits down and orders the strongest liquor they've got. "I tried to run, but it was if course much faster than me."

The hiker gets his glass, empties it, and asks for another. "It sent me to the ground with a mighty push from its paws, but weirdly enough it then just gave me a really sad look and left."

"Ah, you met Father Andrews," the bartender says, matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean?" asks the tourist, confused.

"Father Andrews was our priest. A truly kind-hearted man, loved by all. His only goal in life was to serve his congregation as well as he could. So when he one day found a lamp with a genie, his very first wish was to be a loving shepherd to the community."

"That's nice "

"Absolutely, if only he hadn't been so prone to spoonerisms."

absolutely criminal how falling into bad habits is the easiest thing in the world while developing positive habits feels like fighting a literal war

New idea: instead of writing the fic, you come over to my house and I tell you the entire plot while I pace my tiny kitchen. There’s a cup of tea, warm in your hands. The words don’t stop and the affection never leaves your expression.

I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.

Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.

leave your laundry on the floor for them

*through gritted teeth* you are not a child taking a test with the purpose of getting the highest score, you are an adult trying new things and finding ways to enjoy your life, make mistakes, be a beginner, be mediocre, be where you need to be, be unlikeable, just. be.

Collective favorite hq fanfic recs

Hello, it’s as the title states HAHA. I’ve had this blog for a year now and I wanted to go through and put all my favorites that I’ve recommended in one place. Spoiler alert, there’s a lot LMFAO. Gonna try something new and separate by word count tho LOL I thought it’d be fun HAHA

warning, there’s a little over 200 fics under this but it’s only links so it’s not that long

Keep reading

the feminine urge to keep a little corner of your heart always reserved for pure, unfiltered rage

fukurodani + the owls they’re based on 

im sure its common knowledge now that furudate likes to use animal motifs for his characters. fukurodani seems to be one of the most blatant cases lmao.

*note: even though his name doesn’t indicate a specific owl, the one I chose for bokuto is a Rock Eagle Owl, based on the owl furudate draws in official art.

akaashi also went to “mori middle school”

3/14/21 edit: looking back at this post, I realize there are some mistakes that I’d like to amend:

konohazuku actually refers to the eurasian scops owl. however, the white faced scops owl is technically a konohazuku as well (full name is africa-o-konohazuku, referring to its natural habitat/range in south africa). all scops owls and screech owls belong to the same genus “Otus.” in japanese they all have the same “konohazuku” epithet.  sarukui IS based on a verreux’s eagle owl, however the name in japanese can either be sarukui fukurou or kuro washi mimizuku 

for bokuto, mimizuku can refer to any owl with ear tufts (mimi meaning ear). fukurou is the term used for owls w/o ear tufts. the rock eagle owl is officially called the minami washi mimizuku. washi mimizuku can refer to the eurasian eagle owl, but the phrase is included in the names of all eagle owls 

BLACKADDER + iconic quotes

1983 - 1989, BBC, created and written by: Richard Curtis, Ben Elton & Rowan Atkinson, with: Rowan Atkinson, Hugh Laurie, Miranda Richardson, Stephen Fry, Tony Robinson and Tim McInnerny.

having thick hair and going to get your hair cut is just having to listen to your hair dresser repeat over and over again how millions of people would commit despicable crimes to have your hair

the best thing about tumblr is that you can watch a show and then you come here and someone has made a gifset of it and you can put it on your blog like a sticker in a journal

When Everything Everywhere All at Once said “The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please, be kind, especially when we don’t know what’s going on" 

When the Good Place said "Why choose to be good every day when there is no guaranteed reward now or in the afterlife… I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.” 

When Jean-Paul Sartre said ”‘Hell is other people’ is only one side of the coin. The other side, which no one seems to mention, is also 'Heaven is each other’. Hell is separateness, uncommunicability, self-centeredness, lust for power, for riches, for fame. Heaven on the other hand is very simple, and very hard: caring about your fellow beings.“