The AOT Guys On Your Period

The AOT Guys on Your Period

a/n: I'm on my period rn and its so awful and just wanted to imagine what the aot guys would be like when reader is on their period <33

CW: fem reader, pure fluff, periods (duh), slight mention of blood

Jean:

Literally the sweetest

totally watched a bunch of youtube videos and listened to podcasts about the "female experience" so he can try to understand what you're going through

"I'm right here baby, I'll lay with you as long as you want" then proceeding to let you be the little spoon all night long

gives you the best back rubs when you're cramping to soothe your muscles

Puts on your favorite movie to distract you

Lets you cuddle into him while watching said movie and strokes your hair the entire time

just the most gentle ever.

soft delicate touches, he's scared of accidentally hurting you when you're on your period

Would stop by the store after work to get you flowers and chocolate becuase he knows it's a rough time for you.

Your favorite kind of flowers of course (he knows all of your favorite things bc he's so thoughtful)

Constantly compliments you because he knows you feel disgusting

"No baby I mean it, you're so beautiful like this"

"There's no better feeling than having you lay on my chest"

"I can't believe I have the most beautiful girl in the entire world"

His big strong hands rubbing little circles on your belly omg

Would run you a hot bath for your cramps (see soft jean for more ;)

bought you one of those stuffed animals that you heat up for cramps and was so excited to give it to you.

Literally smiling like a 5-year-old when he told you he had a surprise for you and got so excited when you like his present.

only calls you babe and baby because he doesn't wanna accidentally hurt your feelings by calling you by your name

looks like a big teddy bear, is a big teddy bear

snuggles all the time

always worried about you

would definitely be one of those guys with an "i love my hot girlfriend shirt"

Eren:

Likes to joke about you being on your period when you're off of it but is always super considerate when you're on it

"Ts okay babe I'm right here" while he kisses your forehead to make you feel better.

Drapes a blanket around you on the couch to make sure you're comfortable

brings you food from your favorite restaurant to make you feel better

knows what you order of course, he pays attention

Frowns and acts all tough when you call him a cutie pie

"I am not. I'm just being a good boyfriend- I'm tough okay"

sure

You have ex fuckboy Eren totally wrapped around your finger

He's literally at your beck and call, not because you asked him to be but because he's so in love with you that he just wants to do all the sweet cheesy things with you

Would never admit all the cute things he does for you in front of his friends

Used to be a firm believer that getting kicked in the balls hurt more than period cramps until he met you and you changed his ways

lets you hold his hand and squeeze it when you're in pain

If you get nauseous he stays up with you all night, telling you little stories to distract you

Reluctantly holds your hair back when you throw up

Gives you his clothes to sleep in because they're looser and more comfy.

Adores seeing you walk around in his t-shirts and pajama pants becuase they're so big and it's so cute

the next time he wears them they smell like you

Would offer to rub your back but can't do it without getting horny so he doesn't :(

"Hey a real soldier isn't afraid to get blood on his sword that's all im saying..."

Levi:

Just like Eren in the way that he acts super tough most of the time, even more than Eren.

Rarely calls you cute names like "baby, honey, sweetheart" but totally does when you're on your period

The fact that it's so rare for him to do this makes it even more special when he does

Makes you blush every time

Would hold your hand as often as possible, rubbing little circles into it with his thumb

Not a fan of PDA but would hold your hand in public and let you kiss him on the cheek

If you're feeling especially emotional that day he'd put his arm around you and rub little circles into your shoulder with his slender fingers

Shows his affection in the most subtle ways

Would go grocery shopping bc you were out of food and come back with a stuffed animal he thought you might like from the store

"Yeah whatever, 'ts not a big deal just thought you might think it's cute"

You would wrap him in a bear hug and he would secretly blush, determined to maintain his "tough guy" exterior

Would'nt pick up food for you but would cook for you instead

Your favorite food of course

Doesn't get horny easily like a teenage boy so he could give you a massage whenever you wanted wherever you wanted

would offer to get things for you so you don't have to leave bed

Loves being the big spoon and would be wrapped around you all night

Like I said earlier, when you're on your period he tries to subtly be more sweet (he thinks you don't notice)

speaks so much more softly to you when you're on your period

is just more gentle in general

you're so needy for him both emotionally and physically and you'd want to be wrapped around him all week

and he'd let you

Armin:

Ik I said Jean's the sweetest but I changed my mind its Armin

THE CUTEST EVER

super smart so never had the misconception that periods were a walk in the park

knows all about hormonal cycles and how things would affect you differently

"I got you some dark chocolate, it's really good for soothing the cramps because of the high concentration of magnesium which eases the uterine lining so-"

"Thank you Armin" is all you'd say and giggle at the research he put into helping you

Constantly touching you, not in a sexual way but in a romantic, protective way

Holding your hand, arm around your shoulders, forehead kisses, cheek kisses, his hand on your knee when you're sitting down.

Constantly checking in on you making sure you're okay

always asking you to tell him how you're feeling and what specifically was wrong, kind of annoying but very endearing.

Would sit with you and watch whatever you wanted all day as long as it made you happy.

Would bring you whatever you want. Coffee? picked up. Blanket? on your lap. Heating pad? Plugged in. Takeout? Ordered already.

Genuinely the most thoughtful boyfriend

does everything you want before you even have to ask him it's like he reads your mind

Lets you lay on his chest and fall asleep, not moving until you wake up on your own even if his arm is asleep

Whispers sweet nothings in your ear when he thinks you're asleep but sometimes you hear them

"You're the most beautiful girl in the world, I'm so lucky to have someone like you"

"Watching you sleep takes my breath away every time"

CEO of cheesy love-sick boyfriend

Reiner:

Acts like Levi on the outside is actually Armin on the inside

Always so worried about you all the time, ESPECIALLY on your period

hates seeing you in pain so does whatever he can to make it better

constantly reminding you to take advil

one of those boyfriends who thinks drinking water will make it better "Just try it babe it can't hurt. It works, I saw it on TikTok"

Totally captivated by you

actually thinks you're really pretty on your period bc he loves seeing your natural beauty

picks you up to carry you to bed so you don't have to walk

Gets you flowers as often as he can to remind you how much he loves you

clueless about periods but very enthusiastic!

"I was talking to Armin and he said vitamin C was good so I got you a bunch of oranges from the store!"

thanks babe...?

Always calls you babe or baby, sometimes princess

you're mainly princess on your period, he wants to make sure you feel special

adores cuddling it's like his favorite thing ever and is so excited when you want to cuddle more because you're on your period

loves feeling how small you are against him and smelling your hair as you're curled into his chest

so possessive

would buy you things constantly

his love language is definitely gift-giving and physical touch

smothers you with hug all. the. time.

not opposed to period sex

would share a hot shower with you to ease your cramps

he'd wash your body for you and kiss the top of your head and your shoulders

would kiss every inch of your body to make you feel beautiful

the most protective boyfriend in the aot universe I said what I said

looks like a big scary grizzly bear on the outside but is a teddy bear on the inside just for you

𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐒

— Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert, Jean Kirschtein, Reiner Braun, Levi Ackerman x f!reader

cw. big dicks, creampie, deepthroating, cum eating, pet names, praise, mating press, squirting | m.list

𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐆𝐄𝐑

∴ BIG. LONG. THICK. FAT DICK. Probably one of those cocks you can see the outline of when he pushes it in — Eren's cock is one of those cocks you have to be properly prepared for to take it. Pink tip that tends to dark red as it begins to drool pre cum — veiny shaft, fat and heavy balls. 10/10 he teases cause he's aware he's big and never misses a chance to tease you, "my pretty girl is struggling to take me, im gonna make it fit, baby"

—

His arms hold your thighs up as he pushes his fat cock inside your tight pussy, your back resting against the cold tiles of the shower as Eren grunts in your ear, "fuck, huh baby, you like that, don't you?"

His cock hammers your tender spot hard and his balls slam lasciviously against your ass, "It's to-too much" you sob under his thrusts and you can feel how his girth twitches inside your hole as you cling to his long hair.

Your pussy grips its length so well that Eren can't suppress his moans, "fuck, you're gonna make me cum" he coos grabbing one of your hard nipples between his teeth as the hot water keeps running over your sweaty bodies, he angles himself so well that his crotch rubs against your hard nub making you spasm.

Your folds flutter around him messily as he continues to thrust deeply into your dripping pussy, "yes, so close" he babbles when your eyes roll and your walls tighten, your stomach clenches before you gush over his throbbing cock.

"Shit, that's it, what a good girl" Eren hums holding you between his hard body and the wall, his throbbing cock continuing to fuck your abused hole as you tremble in his arms.

𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓

∴ his cock is LONG, fills you so well — you drool as soon as his tip presses on the bottom, and his cock is not all the way in — Pinkish tip and not very veiny. Heavy and sensitive balls, he could cum just watching you take one in your mouth and adore it. 8/10 is always tidy and his seed tastes good, not sorry for this

—

Your eyes roll at the lewd sound of your pussy being fucked good, his moans escape lightly from his puffy lips hidden on your throat, "baby, uh you're so good" he stutters rubbing the head of his long shaft on your sweet spot.

Your fingers are wrapped in his blonde hair as Armin works his hips against yours in a slow rhythm, his balls slamming into your ass gently, "I'm gonna cum" you meow, your cunt continues to stretch under his thrusts before he lifts off of you.

"Please come for me" he hums rocking his hips back and forth, his pretty long cock throbs as he disappears inside your tender cunt and reappears with a white ring all around it, his thumb rubs circles on your hard wet nub triggering your orgasm.

𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐈𝐍

∴ Jean has a long and pretty dick. The longest and prettiest of them all, thick enough, in proportion let's say — not very veiny with a nice thick pink head when fully hard. His balls are heavy against your tongue when he makes you lick them and pre cum starts to slide down his shaft. 10/10 loves to have you choke on his pretty cock.

—

His heavy balls slam on your chin as he holds your head still and rams his hips against your face.

"Oh you are fuckin good" Jean growls low throwing his head back as he hits the back of your throat tearing a gag.

Your eyes fill with tears and your jaw starts to ache, "is my cock too big for you baby?" he asks amused tearing you away from his thick shaft, drool keeps your tongue attached to the tip of his cock as you chase back the tears and start pumping him with both hands.

Jean smirks as you greedily suck the tip and work the shaft with your hand, "you're eager for my cock uhu baby you drive me crazy" he admits watching as you try to swallow his cock deeper.

Drool drips on his pretty balls as you bob your head back and forth, your moans buzz in his ears and his hips lift towards your face.

His thick cock throbs on your tongue before his load starts to fill your mouth, "fuck baby, take it all," he gasps pushing into your mouth, "let me cum in your cute throat."

𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐔𝐍

∴ THICK. VERY THICK. Reiner's cock is bigger than long, heavy and veiny — a large vein runs through his shaft and throbs when he cum. The tip is dark pink and tends a little to the right, — balls so full and heavy that every time he cums your belly swells, and it comes gushing out of your slit. 9/10 one of those that won't make you walk the next day and loves the idea of breeding you.

—

"T-too big" you sob as you try to slide onto his shaft, your nails scratching his shoulders and digging into his biceps as he holds you still in his lap.

Reiner smiles placing his lips to yours before pulling you down completely ripping a scream from you, "you've taken it before" he coos grabbing your ass and starting to make you jump on him, "take it all" he says sinking deeper again.

You whimper savoring the way his fat cock spreads your tight cunt, your eyes roll back as you feel him hit your sweet spot, "you always take me so good, my good girl" he hums in your ear.

Your pussy clenches so tightly around him when Reiner finds your bud and begins to circle his thumb around it, your hips begin to roll taking his cock deeper and deeper, your swollen, slick walls fluttering around him.

"Reiner ... c-close mh," you stutter, his eyes fixed on your tight little pussy swallowing his thick cock as you keep grinding against him.

"Yes, will you come like a good girl?" he asks as you spasm desperately in his lap riding out your orgasm, wrapping your arms around his neck and your lips to his in a sloppy kiss.

𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈 𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍

∴ omg Levi is FAT and LONG. — he's not aware that it's way too much until you ask him to slow down while he is hammering because he's splitting you in half. It has so much girth that you can't get your hand around it. Sensitive cock, literally just rub your thumb over his tight slit and he'll twitch. Breeder balls. Yes please, your cunt is a 10000/10 for him when he sees his cum dripping out because his load is too much. 9/10 his cum is bitter because of the tea he drinks

—

The headboard slams against the wall, but the possibility that the neighbors might complain doesn't cross your mind, not when his thick cock grinds fiercely inside your abused slit.

"Levi, oh shit" you groan, his strong arms hold you wide open as he rolls his hips against yours, his heavy balls slap your ass filling the room with lewd sounds, "I'm gonna fucking cum like this" you babble.

Your eyes roll back as Levi pushes your knees to your shoulders making you hold them open for him, "be good" he moans from above you, your mind feels too fuzzy but you do what he says.

You grab your thighs and take everything he gives you. His thick shaft pounds against your sweet spot making you feel full, his tip drooling pre cum as it sways back and forth.

Your eyes fill with tears and your walls throb around his cock, "a little more" he slurs grabbing your hips as he pushes his shaft past your slick folds, "you're so tight" he coo lasciviously.

His thick cock spreads your tight walls making you moan as Levi begins to pound desperately, he grinds his thumb on your puffy clit making it throb as you start to cum and gush, squirting around its girth.

"Fuck, that's it" he moans slamming his shaft down on your clit as he is pushed out by your milky cum, "that's a good girl" he coos rubbing his cock on your folds to extend your pleasure and release his load on your belly. 

🏷. @im-eating-rn @shoto-daddy @imkumichan @yunho-leeknow @jean-prettyboy-kirschtein @tojibreedingme @littlemochi @weyheyavengers @yeagerfushiguro @senjuasuna @devynfayrer @sirenuh-blog1 @sukunasbabymama @lilymoonpie @cryszus @dukina @spicybunnyxp @matssuncxmslxt @shigamiryuk @narmisseite @hannas16 @kurtaclangobrr @daoyuu @itsmeseph @awkwardchick87 @ramens-posts @imkumichan @trueshellz @peace-for-levi @tojidilfs @lobotomy-lover @keresssss @jiminie-08 @simpforerenn @seiiblue @snoopysxng @toshigimmemilk @atsushisbunny @ray-lol @blesserqueen @fantasyfairysworld @ren-simp

there's some sort of childish innocence to Jean being the only known 104th squad member to give his horse a name

What the AOT Guys are Into (fav body part)

content warning: nsfw, vaginal sex, implied thigh job, licking, etc. minors DNI.

Jean:

Jean is a boob guy. Like such a boob guy. Completely and totally into your tits, he can't take his eyes off them no matter what you're wearing. He adores how big and plush they are when he lays on them at night and how soft they feel. Whether you're wearing a lowcut dress or a tight baby tee he'll take any advantage to catch a glimpse of your pretty nipples poking through the thin fabric or your cleavage showing off your large soft breasts. He loves them even when he's not horny he just loves how soft and comfy they are. But he loves them when he's horny too. When having sex he gropes and sucks on them like his life depends on it, taking his time licking slow sloppy circles around each perky nipple before moving on to the other one. His pupils would be just totally blown out with lust at how turned on he is from seeing your tits bounce under him, which is one of the reasons missionary is his favorite position, he gets to see his two favorite things.

Eren:

Eren is a total ass guy, I mean he appreciates your tits too but that ass. It often causes problems for him because it just makes him so hard seeing you walk in front of him or bend over to pick something up. Each time he sees your muscular fat ass he he needs to touch it. He'll grab it at the most inappropriate times with his long slender fingers, snaking them around the plush flesh below your lower back, he just can't help himself. He loves how smooth and soft your skin is as he trails his fingers over your soft ass before he fucks you, he loves seeing your muscles flex beneath your soft skin, and more than anything he loves watching it bounce against him during backshots, watching the way the motion causes little ripples in the fat drives him insane, and while he prefers cumming inside he won't mind coming on that ass either. also, he loves spanking you cuddling you <3.

Armin:

Thighs. Armin may act innocent but he's not oh no no no, not at all. You like to tease Armin because it's just so easy to rile him up, *accidentally* lifting your sundress up a little too high when sitting next to him to capture Armin's attention. His big blue eyes dart towards the soft plump skin of your upper thighs before he quickly looks away with a red blush crossing his face, pretending not to notice. But he noticed, and you noticed that he noticed because while he can hide the nasty thoughts in his head he can't hide how hard he was. His sweet innocent little head filled with nasty thoughts about your sexy plush thighs wrapped around him while pounding into you over and over, you wriggling under him at how amazing you're making him feel. He wants more than anything to take you home and cum all over your pretty little thighs.

aot men beige flags

eren, jean, reiner , levi , armin , connie

!: sfw

（＾∇＾）

eren:

☆ makes weird voices.

high pitched, low pitched, shaky he doesn’t care.

like sometimes as a bit he just uses weird accents and stuff.

he’ll speak like a caveman for one day.

“me want ooga burga” he’ll scratch his head like one too

and you’ll just stare at him like, “this mfs crazy” bcs literally wtf is he on about?!

the next day he’s trying to sound french

“oui oui mon amour”

and he’s wiggling his brows and has his imaginary mustache in between his fingers.

☆ his next one is he’s kind of oblivious to a lot of things.

you can pull out the ugliest outfit known to man to test him and he’ll say “that looks so good baby”

not bcs he’s setting u up. no, because he doesn’t think that lime green ripped jeans and a orange cropped hoodie look bad together.

you’ll have to show him what fashion looks like and he’ll get better as time goes on.

jean:

the tickle monster.

☆ when you’re around him u have to watch your back. he’s serious about it.

u can have a super cute sentimental moment with him and he’ll pull it out.

“i really love you baby.” you’d say

“who else do you love, because i know you’re cheating on me with him.”

and you’re like WHAT.

“with who?!”

he’d pause and stare at you for a few seconds.

“THE TICKLE MONSTER!”

and he’d tickle you until you can’t breathe and almost pee yourself.

and after that you don’t trust him but then proceed to slip up multiple times.

u guys are gonna hate me for this next one…

☆ he does “the face” when he’s gonna kiss u

u guys know what i’m talking about

“the face guys make when they go in for a kiss”

his isn’t horrid, only because he’s attractive

sometimes he actually over exaggerates it to piss you off.

it’s not super horrible but it’s giggle worthy

reiner:

☆ he’s a cringe bf. unironically. it’s sweet but not all the time.

by cringe i mean “i just found out about periods, god it must suck to be a beautiful goddess :/.”

or he’s like

“hey! tell you’re period it can’t hurt you like that, it’s not cool!”

☆ he’s also a scaredy-cat.

behind all that muscle is a big baby.

he jumps at scary movies even when he knows what happens next.

cannot play something like fnaf with him

he will throw the phone and scream like he got stabbed in his chest.

he’s probably still scared of the dark but it’s kind of sweet idk. he literally cuddles with you at night like a mother and her baby. you’re practically holding him like a frail little princess, except he’s kind of the exact opposite.

this is actually kind of cute though..

levi:

☆ now his beige flag is that he can be SUPER sarcastic. ik he is.

he’s super snarky and sassy.

like he’s the type to tell what’s considered a ‘corny dad joke’ but instead he’d say it with a stoic face.

like if youre talking and couldn’t remember and say something like “remember when umm…” and you just sit there and think, he’d come back with “no i don’t remember when that happened”.

he wouldn’t laugh or anything.

i feel like that’s why it’s funny. he could make a childish poop or fart joke and it would only be funny bcs he looks like this 😐

he would own a stupid t-shirt that says something like, “find your patience before i lose mine”.

☆ he’s a karen as well. he’s not super bad but like at restaurants and stuff when his foods not right or the tables are not bussed…

i’d be in the bathroom crying my mascara off if i was his waitress

armin:

☆ he’s scared of animals.

this includes typical house pets like dogs or cats.

it’s bcs “they don’t speak , so you’ll never know what they’ll do next.”

his fear stems from one small thing that happened when he was younger.

a cat jumped onto his lap.

he thought it was trying to attack him and so he screamed and the cat got scared.

that’s it.

he can’t even visit the zoo because he’s scared the animals will break out. (he’s super serious about it, it’s not even something he jokes about)

he’s tried to like animals and it worked for a while.

until the dog started to play a little too much to his liking.

☆ also he just randomly informs you of random facts.

completely random.

you could be on the toilet and he’ll come in the bathroom like, “a shrimps heart is in its head…”

no “did you know?” or “isn’t it cool that?” he just says it.

if you ever go onto a game show you’ll probably win it with all the useless knowledge he’s given u.

connie:

☆ you could tell him the most god awful thing happened to you and he’ll be like

“wait, this reminds me of something that happened in something i just watched.”

he’ll proceed to whip out his phone and show you the tv show, news report, tiktok. whatever it was he saw.

this tends to happen to every experience that you have.

you could be held hostage and they’ll call him for ransom and somehow it reminds him of this one part of a tv show.

sometimes it’s funny sometimes it’s not.

☆ he sleeps like he hasn’t slept since the day he was born.

he hops into the bed and sits there for 1 minute before he starts snoring aggressively.

he looks dead, like actually…

sprawled out and snoring with his mouth open.

one time he slept with his eyes wide open and you shook him awake panicking.

he belittled you and was all smart and cocky saying “i would never sleep with my eyes wide open” even though he did.

he sleeps to the rain sounds with the thunder. but sometimes is so sleepy and forgets about it.

tagz!🐬: @hangesgirlypop , @yiugen , @heartshapedtearss

♡

a/n: heyooo! b4 u guys request it, im doing girls next ;). i just think this trend is the cutest thing ever, plus it feels good to write fluff. also im actually getting back to requests. like frl this time, i’ve been grinding non stop all night so i could be done by hopefully friday. feel free to request cute things u guys, i will absolutely write it! and also feel free to request other characters, i feel like u guys don’t request them bcs u guys don’t see them and so u think i won’t do them. trust i probs will!

aot men as dads - headcanon!! some 18+!!

includes: eren, jean, reiner, & levi

i'm still working on some full-fledged one-shots and parts of my series', but i'm nannying for the summer and have BABY FEVER. please enjoy my little headcanons of my fav aot men as dads <3

DISCLAIMER: some of this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. if you are a minor, please do not read below the cut.

Eren

ok but eren is such a cringe dad lol

buys himself all of the #1 Dad! merch. he’s got mugs, tshirts, hats, all of it, and all of it went on his credit card.

10000% a girl dad. loves all the little dresses and bows; he puts your daughter’s hair in its first bun, nearly tears up when she points at his matching hairstyle and babbles “like da-da!”

you have to parent eren as much as the children. when you turn the corner into the living room where he’s supposed to be having “quiet time” with your toddler only to find that they’re buried in a pillow fort and eren’s signed his own name in crayon on the wall next to your daughter’s scribblings. “babe, we can just repaint it! she’s being creative.”

loves when you’re pregnant. after your first, eren keeps a calendar on the wall marking off the days until it’s safe for him to fuck you again, fuck a baby right back into you. already has a breeding kink before your first. develops a lactation kink after.

TERRIFIED (and i mean terrified) of hurting your little angel. has absolutely zero concept of “cry it out”; if he hears his baby crying, he’s sprinting into the next room, kissing a nonexistent boo-boo.

refuses to admit it but he has no backbone when it comes to your daughter wanting literally anything. she wants it, she gets it.

favorite thing in the world is matching outfits. favorite. “babe, where’s her green hoodie? i’m wearing mine today for the park!” “of course it matters, we have to match! on that note, where’s yours?”

lets your daughter use his hair to learn how to braid. usually has a few pink hair ties or glittery clips sticking out of it when you come home from a mom’s night out.

really big on your baby getting to see the world. drags you on vacation to any place he can think of, even as you try to explain to him that she can’t form any long term memories yet. “but baby, she’ll have pictures. how many kids in her class can bring a picture of them at the eiffel tower to their first show-and-tell?”

accidentally ruins santa and the tooth fairy for your daughter. cries harder than she does over it.

aggressively vets babysitters. ends up settling for a nursing student in the labor & delivery school who’s the oldest of seven children and probably more knowledgeable about child development than both of you combined, but he’s still suspicious.

wants to watch while you push, watch his baby come into the world. you’ve never seen a sweeter sight than eren in his scrubs, crying while holding your baby girl.

Jean

most people picture eren as being the roughhousing dad, but it’s jean, and i will die on this hill.

freaks out every time he drops your first boy while throwing him around like a ragdoll, but he’ll never stop because “listen!! he’s laughing!”. when it comes to the rest of them, he’s experienced enough now to tell the difference between a real booboo and an imagined one, and he simply brushes their little pants off caringly before shouting “now you tackle me!”

jean’s got no gender preference for your first, or the rest of your little brood for that matter. he raises them exactly the same, regardless: tough.

it takes him awhile to get used to the concept of babies’ minds. you’ve walked in on him having full-blown arguments with your shrieking toddlers several times. “what’s not making sense? if you let your goldfish ‘swim’ in the toilet, it dies, simple as that.”

plays “bad cop” for you because you’re terrible at it, but he’s always having to turn around and snicker into his elbow in the middle of scolding because your babies get the same little throbbing forehead vein as you when they’re mad

wants a big family, and gets it. you practically have to drag him to get his balls snipped after your fourth, him reminding you that “it’s reversible!” the entire way there.

the newborn phase is his favorite. he’s rarely home for any longer than ten minutes without scooping your most recent addition into his arms, squishing their little cheeks and marveling at their gurgling noises.

the kids never give him anxiety, but when you’re pregnant??? jean’s a wreck.

“do your feet still hurt, love?” “what do you mean you have indigestion? that could be the baby coming!” “of course we can’t have sex, what if we poke its little head?”

definitely the dad that’s got a delivery bag and a backup bag and an emergency third backup of the backup bag in his car at all times. the first week of your third trimester, he starts watching you suspiciously for any signs of labor, even though this is your fourth together. you think you’ve got it down by now, you tell him, but he won’t listen.

always gets the kids to work together on little surprises for you. every mother’s day they wake you up with breakfast, every valentines day your dining room table is covered in handmade cards, every birthday your kitchen is coated in flour from jean and four little ones attempting to bake

SO HARD to drag him out for a date night. he wants to bring them everywhere: the fancy restaurant, the couples' get away trip

jean's that dad standing in the bar, watching the game, beer in hand, with an occupied baby carrier strapped to his chest

wants to watch during delivery, but he passed out the first go-round, so now he’s content standing up by your head, trying not to turn white as you squeeze his hand hard enough to break.

talks you into just one more on your fourth’s second birthday. “they’re all so big now. don’t you miss it, babe? my baby in your belly? c’mon…” turns out he reversed that vasectomy without telling you

Reiner

another girl dad. hardcore girl dad.

buys his little princess all number of dresses and barbies, is confused when she’s more interested in the baseballs her classmates have.

accidentally raises the most tomboyish, toughest little girl. still babies her, and she hates it.

cries more than you do on your first date night out when you leave her with your mom. forgets to order his entree at the restaurant because he’s watching the baby monitor app on his phone.

definitely the best at splitting baby duties with you. reiner’s up before you most nights when she wakes, grabbing a bottle and cooing at her lovingly even as she screams. you always try to stay awake to watch him on the baby monitor, though, heart melting as his massive arms rock the tiny bundle back to sleep.

all the neighborhood kids love him because of his size. at every cookout, reiner can’t help on the grill because he’s buried in the grass in a little army of toddlers, led by your daughter, shrieking with joy.

always taking pictures. literally always. unflattering ones when you fall asleep breastfeeding, candids at the zoo, eighteen identical pictures of the lock of hair from her first haircut clogging up his camera roll.

can’t be the bad cop. literally ever. he just can’t say no to his little princess, can’t break her precious little heart by telling her that throwing her food onto the floor is bad.

takes your daughter to mommy & me classes with him

DILF DILF DILF. all the moms in the classes swoon over him and gossip about him when he’s not there; much to your annoyance, reiner never notices, insisting that they’re his “mommy friends”.

always sporting a little bit of glitter on his face or a sticker on his back from your daughter

coming from a fatherless background, reiner nearly kills himself trying to be a constant presence in your daughter’s life (you have to remind him that he has to rest too)

never misses an open house night at school, even if it nearly gets him fired. coaches all of her sports teams. literally almost cries when she makes her first soccer goal. actually does cry when she tells you the boy sitting beside her in class called her his girlfriend. full-blown breakdown on her first day of school, so bad he has to stay home from work.

the absolute BEST through your pregnancy and delivery. always cooking your craving of the week, constant foot and back rubs, stays up all night with you for the three days before the birth when you’re just too swollen and miserable to sleep.

holds your hand through the entire delivery, gets in the doctors’ way when they’re performing checkups because “i’m her father, i need to know what’s going on”

Levi

levi never pictured himself as having children, but when your little surprise arrives, blinking up at levi with his own grey, owlish eyes, levi can’t believe he hadn’t thought of it sooner.

very easily irritated with anyone asking questions about your home life.

when his coworkers ask for your newborn’s name, levi simply says “child.” are you two trying again? “why the fuck do you need to know?”

super overprotective. your baby waves at someone in the supermarket, and levi’s leaning down to explain (in words your eight-month-old can’t yet understand) stranger danger.

totally one of those parents that goes half-crazy trying to get their child into the top-notch, snobby preschool in town.

“we’re not wasting his intelligence on the public school”

levi grew up with basically nothing, so he goes all out buying the best baby products on the market. $2,500 strollers, researching “best baby toys for development”, the whole nine yards.

100% spends months trying to get your child to make a game out of picking up his own toys after playtime, but it never works.

has a meal plan for your child to “optimize nutrition” that you have to sneak around to give your baby little chocolates and junk snacks.

“why are there pringles in his playtime bag? they have no nutritional value.”

vets anyone that comes around your child, even other children. “no more playtime with that evan kid. he’s always got a cold or something.”

he’s always been a light sleeper, but once you have your child, levi snores beside them watching kids’ cartoons on the tv like you’ve never seen him, even drooling as his head lolls, arm tucked tight around your little one.

learned everything he could about labor and delivery beforehand

you almost killed him in the delivery room as he explained each medical detail of your labor symptoms to “reassure” you. he finally got the hint when you threatened to decapitate him.

he thinks it’s shameful, but watching you be a mother turns. him. on. 

wants to take you right there when he catches you breastfeeding, watches you read a bedtime story, spin your child around laughing. you’re just so naturally good at it and it makes him love you all the more, all that love going straight between his legs.