A Lesson Everyone Has To Learn Is That If You Haven't Lived A Certain Experience, You Should Not Comment

a lesson everyone has to learn is that if you haven't lived a certain experience, you should not comment on it as though you have and can discern whether or not that person "has it easier" than you do

i keep seeing the argument that masculine girls are "completely accepted" or "not demonized" or "not treated as poorly as feminine boys" time and time again.

this is not true: in our efforts to have conversations about various groups of queer people, we must NOT tear others down to lift ourselves up. we must not raise our voices to drown out someone else's.

i'm tired of people spreading the myth that masculine girls, women, intersex people and people assigned female at birth don't face severe struggles due to their masculinity. this is such a lie and a falsehood and perpetuating that myth only continues to hurt and silence the girls and people who are affected by this behavior.

"tomboys" aren't accepted with open arms, i'm not sure why people believe this. masculine girls are literally harassed constantly because they aren't "pretty" or "feminine" enough. butch girls and women are constantly harassed for the same reasons, and are threatened with rape and sexual assault to "make them realized they're confused". trans men are abused verbally, mentally, emotionally, physically and sexually for the same reasons as above, and dealt even worse punishments at times. trans men are threatened with death and ARE killed by cishet people. transphobes despise trans men primarily because they "ruined a pretty woman by pretending to be a man."

trans men and mascs, AFAB enbies and masculine women do not have it easy. they do not have male privilege. when people say "oh well it's okay for women to wear jeans now so people don't police AFAB bodies anymore lol" it's such a backwards, narrow and reductive view on the AFAB, woman and female experience. yes these people are allowed to wear pants but that doesn't mean there aren't other forms of body policing going on

AFAB, non binary, close to AFAB intersex people and women are generally expected to and/or forced to wear makeup. AFAB people are constantly having their weight and muscle mass policed. AFAB, feminine non binary people people and women are EXPECTED to and forced to wear bras by most people. AFAB people and women aren't allowed to wear actual men's clothing- there are more neutral and masc "women's" clothing but once one of these people crosses into the line of wearing actual men's clothing, that's when the prejudice and violence really rear their ugly head. reminder that these people get sexually harassed and assaulted constantly because people "want to prove to them that they are women". masculine women and trans men face trans panic violence and deaths.

trans men and mascs face push back at every single opportunity when it comes to the people around them. people feel entitled to a "woman's" body to the point where people will harass trans men for "getting rid of their pretty hair", "ruining their pretty face", "ruining their pretty body", "ruining their pretty voice," and "destroying their beautiful daughter/sister/etc." people focus so much on a trans man, masc and/or butch's appearance and nothing else. our bodies are the only thing that matter to most people and they are possessive to the point of trying to force us out of medical transition

it's okay to admit if one does not have personal experience with a specific community. the speculation that goes on in the transmasculine and masculine woman experience is absolutely off the rails. of course transmascs, masc enbies and masculine women face tons of pushback. why would it ever be easy for an AFAB person to transition into manhood? why would it ever be easy for a woman to be as masculine as possible?

when people find out someone is AFAB they become bitter and critical. they become possessive. they become judgmental. i need people to hear and understand this: most AFAB people are not coddled. most AFAB people are not given much wiggle room and freedom when it comes to their presentation and identity. people are critical of both AMAB and AFAB trans people for a variety of reasons- it's an equal struggle that they both face, it just presents its ugly head in different ways

AFAB, close to AFAB intersex people and women of all kinds face constant threats of sexual violence. constantly, especially when they deviate from what white cisheteronormative patriarchy tells us a woman "should" look like. no matter what, may it be that that woman is trans, genderqueer, transmasculine, fat, disabled, a woman of color, or whatever else, that woman is also extremely likely to face sexual violence due to the entitlement people have over AFAB bodies

people take it extremely personally when an AFAB person transitions, or starts presenting hyper masculine. they view it as a loss of some type of property to themselves. they become desperate and angry at times. AFAB transition is also very difficult and deserves to be discussed. there is a lot of pushback, to the point of death. it's okay to be enraged about the struggles one faces without downplaying the struggles other folks go through

accepting that a different group of people suffers greatly just like you do is an important step in learning where to direct one's anger- AFAB and AMAB trans people have so many chances to bond over the extreme demonization and pushback they receive from everyone around them. there are so many similar but different struggles, so many issues that are faced by both due to misogyny and antimasculism. of course most AFAB trans people will never understand what an AMAB trans person goes through and that's okay

nobody knows what an AFAB or close to AFAB intersex trans person goes through unless they are one. and it's not okay to just guess what it's like

speculating on an AMAB upbringing as an AFAB person will never work. speculating on an AFAB upbringing as an AMAB person will never work. one simply just doesn't know an experience they haven't lived. it doesn't work to look at what happens to someone on the outside, especially while in public or around like minded people, to guess what struggles they've gone through in life

it's time to stop punching down on AFAB, close to AFAB and intersex trans people. there's no reason to behave like this, it helps no one. we all lose whenever this behavior takes place.

i'm not sure why people fail to see the absolutely off the charts amount of misogyny and inter/sexism at play, here. this stems from how people view AFAB people as unreliable narrators, stupid, incapable of relaying their own experiences, inferior, emotionally unstable, hysterical, dramatic, and so on. you do realize this, right there is so much bioessentialism at play here.

do not silence someone else in order to make your voice louder. instead, work together with people who are just as scarred and hurt by the society we live under to create a union that is stronger than sparse and scattered sub communities. we are stronger together in sharing the injustices we face. we can hold each other up without speaking over one another or minimizing the issues someone else faces. it will never be okay to downplay another trans person's experiences, we are here to lift each other up.

load bearing

little doodle for the au that I am slowly building. I realize that I am incapable of drawing characters without making them extra creature. but hey, shadow deserves to be a little weird and alien, and who's gonna stop me from mutating sonic with my mind!