Don't Let Him Out Tonight - Lsm

don't let him out tonight - lsm

Falling for a mafia captain could cost your career as a university instructor and future criminal lawyer. But you couldn't resist Lee Seokmin, especially when he's on his knees, ready to worship you. Yet, some truths keep you two apart, secrets to uncover amidst a tangled web. You have no choice but to plead with him, hoping he won't do something that could shatter both your worlds.

• mafia!lee seokmin x f reader

• angst & smut (mdni!)

• words: 10k

general tags: mafia!seokmin, law student & university instructor!reader, heavy angst, smut, harassment, unwanted advances by a stranger, mommy and daddy issues, kidnapping, blood, betrayal, situationship, bad reputation, reader is shorter than seokmin, short skirts and dresses, nightclubs, violence, guns, gangs, alcohol, intoxication, poison, face slapping, implied ptsd, framed convicts, scams, tending to bruises, pet names like babe and baby (smut warnings below the cut)

smut warnings: dom!seokmin, pussy drunk!seokmin, cock drunk!reader, reader is mentioned to have tits, big dick seokmin because that man is big everywhere, drunk sex, grinding, thigh riding, voyeurism, public oral sex, blowjob, cum swallowing, clit stimulation, fingering, p in v sex, car sex, dirty talk, unprotected sex (stay safe pls), orgasm denial, lots and lots of begging

[a/n] inspired by sabrina's please please please. read all the tags before proceeding! send an ask for hard thoughts!<33

Everyone warned you about him. Your mother, your friends, even the neighborhood pastor. Even if his face wasn't in the news, people could tell something wasn't right as soon as they saw him. If there was a list of people you should never be involved with, his name was on top, underlined, and written in blood. The caporegimes, the mafia captain in your district, Lee Seokmin.

Cold air brushed against your legs as you waited in the university parking lot. It was already getting dark so you had to squint, trying to spot your boyfriend's car. You almost regretted wearing a short skirt, but you wanted to see his reaction more than anything. Your conversation almost half an hour ago kept repeating in your head like a broken record.

"I don't care about what people say, y/n," Seokmin said through the phone.

"I do. I'm fine with waiting outside."

"But it's cold."

"I said I'm fine. You know I don't like repeating myself," you argued with him.

It had only been a month since you started dating and you were already subject to looks of concern and gossip amongst your coworkers and students. Having Seokmin pick you up at the entrance would only make things worse, so you insisted on meeting him in the parking lot.

He had arrived moments later in his car. The man stepped out, the chains around his neck catching the lights from the lamppost. His broad shoulders were clad in a black leather jacket. His hair was styled up. He looked ravishing.

"I told you to wait inside." Seokmin was clenching his jaw, disappointment lacing his tone. He walked towards you, removing his jacket to wrap around your shoulders. You kissed his cheek as he did so.

"I'm not that cold, I promise."

"I don't believe you, baby." He looked down on you and toyed with the hem of your short skirt. Before you could say anything, he placed a kiss on the corner of your mouth.

He was dangerous. His eyes were dark, layered with years of experience in the underground scene, filled with the knowledge of the inner workings of organized crimes. You knew he had blood in his hands, yet some sick monster inside you took pride in the idea that it was you he called baby. It was you he took out on dates.

The inside of Seokmin's car smelled like him. Rich cedarwood, giving a sensual woodsy scent. As soon as you settled in the passenger seat, he placed a long coat on your lap, keeping your legs and feet warm. Who knew the cold, brutal Lee Seokmin would be such a gentleman?

.     ♰   .   ❦   .   ♰     .

Several months ago, your friend Gyuri had dragged you out to celebrate surviving finals. It was your third year at law school and you both needed a little breather. Gyuri was an expert at it. She knew how to get wasted even under so much pressure. You couldn't afford her lifestyle though, because you had to balance studying law and teaching at a different university. But that night, you had let her choose a short dress for you before she dragged you into an infamous nightclub.

“Come on, it's not like your grandmother will see you shaking ass here.” Gyuri teased with a laugh, merging with the crowd.

Ten minutes under the bright lights and she was nowhere to be found. Gyuri was right; your grandma wasn't on the dance floor. It was a crowd of students. And—just because fate decided to fuck with you tonight—it was your students.

You accidentally made eye contact with one of them. She was a freshman. Her mouth formed a comical letter o, looking at you up and down. She nudged her friend, more familiar young faces turned to you in horror.

'What the hell were they doing here?'

They grimaced as if they were caught by their parents. The awkward encounter had you backing up into the deepest corner of the nightclub, hiding from sight. You sat alone by the bar, praying you wouldn't see another one of your students. 

You let your eyes roam around the dancing crowd in search of Gyuri. Your gaze landed on the table across from you. It was surrounded by heavy-muscled men deep in conversation. But it was the man in a black suit that got your attention. He was looking straight at you as the others talked animatedly. Everything about his features was sharp: his nose, his jawline, his cheekbones, and his gaze.

At that moment you become hyper-aware of the conversations of the other people around you. The staff and clubgoers were talking about the man. A bartender had referred to him as "the captain," and this captain sounded like a really big deal. He owned the nightclub, the gambling dens around the district, and several hotels.

‘Better not mess around with a guy like that,’ you thought, more amused than scared.

A few hours into the night and a mix of alcohol in your system, you still couldn't see your friend. When you tried to order another drink, an old man suddenly offered some amber liquid in a crystal glass. He was old enough to be someone's grandfather. His voice was already hoarse from drinking. The sirens in your head went off in an instant. You had kindly refused but he had insisted again and again.

"I said no." You shifted in your seat, ready to stand and run away if you needed to.

"Just take the gla—" He faltered, swayed, and collapsed on the floor with a thud.

The drink in his hand arced into the air before landing on your feet in a splash. It pooled on the floor. You stood up in shock, hissing at the chill of the drink on your skin. You looked down at the old man. Was he dead? The brutes who sat at the table across from you dragged him out and disappeared in the shadows.

Unbeknownst to you, the captain had raised his left eyebrow to the bartender, a sign to spike the creepy man's drink with poison. The bartender obeyed and played dumb as soon as the old guy hit the ground.

Heading for the back exit, you winced in each step. You could almost hear the squelch and squeak in your soles if it wasn't for the loud bass. The liquor that splashed onto your feet was a sensory nightmare. Clutching your phone, you tried to call Gyuri. You had reached the parking lot when you felt a presence behind you.

"I'm sorry for your shoes."

It was the captain in the black suit. He walked towards you, his chiseled face becoming more prominent as he moved closer.

He continued, "I should have considered his distance before giving the signal."

"Who are you and what are you talking about?"

He stopped in front of you, looking down at your face, examining your features. Your knees grew weaker at the proximity but you didn't miss the movement of his arm. He reached inside his suit jacket. You took three steps back, thinking he was going to pull out a gun.

He chuckled at your reaction and brought out a white handkerchief instead. "Relax, I'm not here to hurt you. Come here."

He went down on his knees and your heart lodged in your throat. Why the hell was this man kneeling in a nightclub's parking lot? He looked up at you, and God, he looked like heaven on Earth. His eyelashes were long, fluttering so sweetly.

"I'm Seokmin."

You gasped when he brought the handkerchief to your ankle, right where the alcohol had splashed. He wiped it gently, running the fabric across your shoes and moving to the other one. You stared at him, the captain—Seokmin—wiped every single drop of liquor from your feet like a devoted servant.

It was the hottest thing you'd ever seen. He looked at you now and then, waiting for a reaction. You gave him your name and urged him to continue. His hands dragged towards the back of your knees, wiping the last stray drops. He looked so perfect kneeling underneath you that you could already feel the wetness between your legs.

"May I offer you a ride home?"

"What happened to that old man? Is he dead?"

Seokmin stood up. "What happens to assholes who cause trouble in my club shouldn't concern you," he says, flattening the crease in his suit. He continued, "You didn't answer my question. May I offer you a ride?"

It was at that moment when the gears in your head stopped turning. The drive to your apartment was a blur of city lights and a cold night breeze. You've never been with a guy this shady, this hot, and this good at manhandling you.

The clash of teeth and tongue turned your brain into a puddle. As soon as the lock of your bedroom door clicked, he had you against the wall, veiny hands gripping your thighs as he explored your mouth with his tongue. The sensation was entirely new and yet his body felt so perfect against you.  

“Is this okay?” Seokmin asked as he raked his hand up and down your legs.

“God, yes,” you said, already out of breath.

He nudged your legs apart, putting his thigh in between. Moans escaped your mouth when the fabric of his trousers made contact with your soaked underwear. He grunted against your lips every time you let out a squeal. Your arousal pooled even more when he ran his lips on the side of your neck, drinking in your scent.

Seokmin held your hips as you grind on his thigh. His fingers were steady and demanding. He knew what he wanted. You wrapped your arms around his neck, words coiling at your throat. 

He sucked in a sharp breath. "That's it, go on, fuck yourself on my thigh."

And you did. You bucked your hips faster, the delicious drag of fabric against your clit pushed you to the edge and you came with a loud whine. Your breaths came in short gasps as he guided you through your orgasm. Before you tried to hide your face, he was already kissing you again, wet and sinful.

He chuckled. "I haven't even started having my way with you."

He dragged you to the bed and undressed you with ease. You laid on your back, completely at his mercy. There was something so beautiful being underneath, powerless, ready to take what he decided to give you. Seokmin was the epitome of control, you can see it in his eyes as he looked down on you. He trailed his lips on the inside of your legs, gently nipping at the skin. He moved up to your torso, sucking on your tits, the sounds were so wet and lewd it made your cheeks flush. Seokmin squeezed and pulled your nipple with his fingers, coaxing moans from you. His hands were warm. Everything about him was steady, a direct opposite to your sensitive, shaking body.

After making sure every single part of you was trembling with need, he pulled out his thick, veiny cock and rolled a condom on it. He teased your dripping pussy, rubbing his length along your folds but not fucking you where you needed him to.

"God just put it in already. Fuck me," you whined. You couldn't recognize your voice with how needy it sounded.

He tuts and grinned, his eyes were dark. Evil. "That's not how you beg." He dragged his dick on your clit and rubbed faster.

"Please! Please fuck me. Ah— I need you. I wanna feel your cock in me." Tears welled up and escaped from your eyes. Your throat was straining from agony. A loud moan escaped from you when he pushed into your hole with a grunt.

The stretch was not like anything you've ever felt before. Each vein and every delicious inch made you gasp like a dirty slut. Once he had bottomed out, you gave him the signal, liking the sting of pain. He wasted no time and fucked you so hard, drilling into you like a madman. He pulled your legs onto his shoulders, folding you in half as he rammed his dick inside you harder. It was harsh and brutal. He whispered dirty names into your ear and licked the side of your neck, making you come two more times that night.

The next morning, he was already gone. The reality of his absence hit you hard. His warmth was still present in the air around you. There was still an ache between your thighs. The bruises he had left still stung deliciously. The smell of cedarwood still lingered in your room and on your skin. His moans were still ringing in your ear. He was everywhere.

When you got out to head for work, you noticed a box on your doorstep. It was a new pair of shoes, similar to the ones you wore last night but fancier. There was a note with a number and the initials: L.S.M. You'd never saved a number that quickly.

Texting the number, you thanked him for the shoes, saying he didn't have to. It took him less than a minute to reply and insist that you keep it. He had also apologized for leaving too early. You sighed, thanking the universe that the hot man who fucked your brains out didn't ghost you.

You had learned that his full name was Lee Seokmin. One conversation on the phone led to another until you were talking day and night. You found yourself smiling often at his words. You were already longing for the warm trace of his lips on your skin.

It was probably the law student in you or just an instinct of a girl, but you couldn't help but search his name online. You tried searching for Lee Seokmin, Seokmin, and other forms of his names, but you found nothing. No social media accounts, no public government information, and not even relatives. He was an enigma. 

Your suspicions grew bigger until he admitted one night that he was part of the mafia. It clicked then, the way people called him captain, the shady businesses he owned, and the schedule of his work. Of course, it made so much sense. Not only was he a part of it, but he was related to the boss by blood. 

Everyone around you was concerned because you hid your situationship like it was some sort of crime. It probably was. People started gossiping and making assumptions. Words even reached your mother in the suburbs. She had called you, warning you not to get into trouble with gangsters and criminals. 

'Oh, mother dearest, too late.'

You were falling for him. Your heart and soul were falling for every part of him, hard. You didn't know when and how it started. How your simple longing for his touch became a need to see his smile and hear his laugh. How you wanted him to stay and embrace you after sex. How nothing but lust turned into love. Pure, irreversible, dangerous love.

For months, you were spread out on his sheets at night and woke up alone. You never got to eat with him in a crowded restaurant, never held hands, never hugged in public. It was hard being casual. Whenever your head rested on his bare chest, you could hear his heartbeat, rising and falling with every breath. It was the safest place on earth. You hated how the lines were so blurry between you and Seokmin. You hated not knowing what you meant to him.

One night, after a whole session of hard sex where he denied your orgasm again and again only to give it to you in an intense wave, he asked under his breath, "Can we be official? Can I call you my girlfriend? I know it's going to be difficult for both of us, but I promise I'll take care of you."

"Yes. I'd love to. I've always wanted to."

You lifted your head just to have a good look at his wide smile, the smile that reached his eyes and made his cheeks red. He was so pretty. However, you weren't stupid, so you made him agree to a simple rule.

“But you're not allowed to kill people in front of me.”

“Capos rarely have to hurt anyone. My soldiers do the dirty work for me.”

"Don't try to find a loophole around it. No exceptions," you said in your most authoritative voice.

"Yes, ma'am." He saluted, getting a laugh out of you.

Seokmin had never broken the rule since then. He was sweet, sending you gifts often. He would show up at your place without reason, saying, "I just wanna cuddle with my future lawyer."

You weren't completely oblivious to the dangers that came with dating him. You had recently done a case study and analysis on organized crimes after all. But none of your friends were prepared for the pair of you: a future criminal lawyer and an actual criminal. It was laughable, really, considering how you had always warned your students not to get involved with shady shit, what a hypocrite you had become.

But who could resist anyone as sexy and caring as Lee Seokmin?

And who else could handle the devil inside him during nights like this?

.     ♰   .   ❦   .   ♰     .

That was how you found yourself in the passenger seat of Seokmin's car, the fear of being caught was long gone as he kneeled on the floor. It was disgusting and arousing, all you could see was his eyes and how completely needy he looked. He was fucked out and thirsty for you.

His nose bumped on your clit as he licked your folds. But every time your high was close, he kept pulling out. He's been edging you for almost half an hour. It was torture.

"Seokmin, please let me cum."

"No." He kissed your inner thigh.

"Seokmin…please."

You could feel his smirk on your skin. "What did you tell me on the phone? You don't like repeating yourself? Now you're begging for me over and over again."

God, he really knew how to put you in your place.

"I'm sorry. Please let me cum."

He pushed two slender fingers inside you along with his tongue and started fucking you in earnest. You rolled your hips in time with his thrust, gripping the car seat with one hand and pulling his hair with the other.

"Fuck, I'm so close."

He rubbed your clit with his thumb and pushed you to the edge, making you cream on his face. He kept on going, milking you dry. He looked up at you with half-lidded eyes. Seokmin was drunk to your taste.

He was only getting started.

The capo went back to his seat and drove to his place. It was a different kind of pleasure, watching him concentrate while driving as you palmed his hard-on. He kept glancing at you, warning you not to tease him. It only took twenty minutes before he was stripping you off of your clothes in his living room.

In the university, you were a level-headed instructor, the kind that students respected without question. At the law school, you were the diligent debater, the person people couldn’t argue with. No bullshits, no lies. You never had to ask for anything. But with him, you were always begging.

"Please don't hurt people in front of me."

"Please don't scare the delivery guy away."

"Please don't leave without saying goodbye.”

And tonight, it was a good kind of begging. "Please fuck my mouth. Use me all you want."

Seokmin raised his eyebrow. "On your knees."

You complied, your knees hitting his carpet and you're face-to-face with the hard-on you'd been toying with all night. You looked up at him for permission.

"Go on, make me cum."

You unzip his trousers with so much eagerness, making him chuckle. Your fingers were shaking with anticipation as you pulled his pants down with his boxers. God, the sight of his cock was mouth-watering. His muscles tensed when you wrapped your fingers around him and dragged your tongue on the prominent vein. You quickly worked him up, stroking his shaft as you licked the pre-cum from his tip.

He hissed as you lapped at the underside of his dick before sucking him fully. His grunts and moans egged you on, hollowing your cheeks to give him more pleasure. The drag of his dick on your tongue was so good, you could feel your arousal between your legs. 

You sucked him off, hungry for his taste. It took a few moments before he grabbed your hair and pulled you off of his cock.

"Do you want me to fuck your pretty mouth?" He traced his thumb on your lip.

"Yes, please, I beg you."

"Just tap three times if we need to stop, hm?"

"Yes."

He slammed his dick into your mouth and hit the back of your throat with ease. He set an animalistic pace, fucking in and out of your mouth like you were nothing but a toy. His dick was so big and veiny, your nose bumped into his hip each time. You couldn't do anything but grab onto his huge thighs for dear life. Each part of your body shook with his thrusts.

"You're so good for me, so fucking perfect."

He took off his dress shirt, his torso now in full view for you to worship. His broad shoulders were tense, moving up and down each time he panted. Nights like this when he lets his need get the better of him was your favorite. His controlled, calm aura fell apart as he didn’t hold back. 

“Look at you, baby. So fucking hot,”

The nails against the back of your neck stung and his grip was harsher than normal. His pace became more erratic in each thrust. Praise spilled from his tongue as he fucked your throat in earnest.  

“Shit.” He was panting, voice laced with desperation.

He continued hitting the back of your throat until he spilled his seed inside, painting your mouth white. His thrusts were deep and slow. “Swallow it, baby. That’s it, you’re such a good girl for me.”

You stick your tongue out, proudly showing your devotion. He cursed and lifted you to your feet, guiding you to the sofa. He laid your head on the armrest and kissed you. Even under so much want, Seokmin knew how to take his time, every movement of his lips against yours was full of passion. His breath was warm against your face, and his hands roamed all over your body, igniting flames of need on your skin.

Seokmin rolled his hips into yours, his cock was rock-hard again, teasing your pussy. You let out a loud whimper, his gaze immediately shot down into you. Your cheeks flushed, heat spreading on your face. He kissed your cheek and dragged his lips to your ear.

“Wrap your legs around my waist, baby.” He whispered before nipping your earlobe.

You did as told and Seokmin slammed his dick inside you. Your back arched at the sudden penetration. 

“You good, baby? Want me to stop?”

“No, please, I need you.”

Your walls clenched around him as he fucked you. He pistoned his hips at a brutal pace, ramming as if it was his last day on Earth. His mouth was on yours again, kissing you roughly. His breaths were ragged and his grunts were gravelly, you’ve never heard of anything sexier. Your pussy was so wet around his cock, it squelched with each thrust, making him crazier.

He pounded into your cunt, his fingers rubbing your clit as you moaned and whined. He brought down a harsh slap against your bundle of nerves. You wailed in pleasure. He slapped your clit again, coaxing profanities out of your mouth.

It didn’t take long before your breath hitched, your walls clamping down around him as he fucked you. Seokmin rubbed your clit faster, keeping his brutal pace as you came with a scream. He spilled inside you, praising you again and again. Your legs were drenched in your cum, making a mess on the sofa. He kissed you gently.

“You did so well. You’re so perfect.”

Seokmin stood up to get a warm towel and wiped it gently on your skin. He cleaned you up while muttering soft praises about how lucky he was to have you and how beautiful you were when you came. It was all too much for your heart. He wrapped his big arms around your body and carried you to the bed in bridal style. There was a grin on his face as he looked down at you. By the time he put you under the covers, you both were giggling like foolish lovebirds. 

He cuddled with you under the warm blankets, his hand playing with your hair as you lay your head against his chest. Your muscles were sore and you could already feel your mind being dragged to sleep.

"Why'd you study law, anyway?" Seokmin asked suddenly.

You chose your default reason. "Because it is so easy to make money from the law.” Silence fell before you continued. “The system is so rigged. If you know how to bend it, things will go your way. The politicians do it, so why can't I?"

He hummed, impressed. But he also knew you weren't telling the whole truth. He didn't push it further, though, and you were grateful for it.

You couldn't tell Seokmin the real reason. At least not yet. Your father had been wrongfully convicted a long time ago, and it had ruined your family. Though he was released from prison, he wasn't the same man anymore. You had made a promise to yourself that no one else would have to endure what your family had gone through.

The fear of having your loved ones trapped behind bars gnawed on you. It was hell. So whenever Seokmin left for work, you couldn't help but worry for him. Your brain kept creating visions of him gambling, drinking, torturing, or probably killing people. You tried to tell yourself that it wasn’t his fault he was born into his family, but it was difficult.

You'd often beg Seokmin to avoid risky behaviors and public outings, worried that any misstep could lead to your exposure and end your career when it had barely started. It would be a slap in the face to all those restless nights you spent studying and teaching. 

Seokmin was scared to let his circle know too much about you as well. Another capo in their organization instigated a turf war. The infighting was brutal and he couldn't risk your safety. It hurt him, not being able to take you out and dine with you in fancy restaurants. He couldn’t introduce you to his family and tell the whole world you were his and he was yours.

That was when he introduced Wonwoo as a bodyguard. He was in charge of driving you from law school to the institution you were teaching at, then back to your apartment. He was quiet, but he knew how to listen to your every word. Wonwoo was a man of schedule, always on time, and always correct. One day, he argued with you about the morality of organized crimes and started citing specific articles and past cases. 

You stared at Wonwoo who had his eyes on the road. "You're a lawyer, aren't you?" you asked, still in shock.

Wonwoo admitted he was a consigliere working under the boss. Seokmin was the one who endorsed him to such a high position so he didn't hesitate to become your bodyguard. Your insides turned warm at the thought of your boyfriend who couldn't leave you with a typical bodyguard, making his closest friend look out for you. 

No one knew the whole truth about your relationship with Seokmin except for Wonwoo and your friend Gyuri. You’ve barely seen her nowadays, but you tried to make time to eat with her every other week. Your favorite place was a ramen shop near the law school. You ate together, laughing over the stupid times your boyfriends made you embarrassed.

"Outside, he's a cold guy, but inside, he's the biggest baby." You smiled, telling her about Seokmin.

"Oh, I feel that with my Jin-Goo as well." She said, talking about her new boyfriend.

You stopped hanging out with her though, because the infighting within Seokmin's organization escalated. His boss was calling him and making him do errands almost every day. You wished he just told you all the details because your imagination wouldn’t let you sleep at night. But when he visited your place with someone’s blood on the cuffs of his shirt, you knew the reality was much worse than you could imagine. 

It was getting frustrating. You couldn't risk going outside without Wonwoo to drive you. When you asked Seokmin if you could at least go out for some air, he said "The other capos could hurt you and use you to get to me."

"How do you know they're gonna do that?"

"Because it's what I did to the others. That's how I acquired the businesses in the district."

A shiver ran down your spine. You didn't push any further.

Seokmin had told you to lay low. But it was your last year in law school and you still had a lot of requirements to pass. After Wonwoo drove you to the entrance, you got a text from Gyuri, asking to meet her for lunch.

You went to the same ramen shop, but something was off the moment you stepped inside. Gyuri was the type to yell out your name and wave to you immediately, but all you heard was silence. 

The shop was nearly empty, its usual bustling energy replaced by stillness. A man in a mask stood by the entrance. He was staring at you. 

Listening to your instinct, you turned immediately. But it was too late. Before you could open the door, he was behind you, pressing a handkerchief against your mouth. Your nostrils were flooded with an overly sweet smell and your vision faded to black.

⋆₊ ♱

You awake with a jolt. Restraints kept you from standing up. Your hands were tied at the back of the seat and your feet were shackled. It was dark, with only a faint light bulb over your head to illuminate the space. You were trapped in a dingy cellar. Each breath echoed against the dark walls. 

Right beside the door crouched a familiar figure. Her entire body shook as she sobbed quietly.

“Gyuri!” You struggled against your bonds, the metal chair screeching against the concrete floor.

“Shh!” She looked up, panic and distress in her eyes. “Shut your mouth or he’ll gag you.”

Her eyes were bloodshot from crying. Your heart sank at the sight of her. You wanted to ask where you were, who she was referring to, or why she was on the floor, but you knew you had no time to lose. Your temple was about to explode with the painful throbbing.

“Help me out. Untie me. Come on!” The chair kept screeching with your movements, the chains around your ankles clinking against each other.

“I can’t, y/n.” 

The cellar door opened and a man of the same age entered. He was clad in black clothes and he wore a distant expression. He looked bored.

 

“Gyuri, babe, is our visitor awake yet?” He yawned as if this was a normal occurrence.

Babe?

The man turned to you. “Hi. I’m Jin-Goo, Gyuri’s boyfriend.”

You look at your friend. She couldn't meet your eyes. Gyuri, the sweet friend who liked to crack jokes, the friend who dragged you to the place where you first met Seokmin, the friend who laughed with you over bowls of ramen after a stressful day. Gyuri betrayed you. The realization shot straight through your heart, your ribs tightening with the pain. 

Fury almost got the best of you before the man continued. “It’s a shame we had to meet in such unfortunate…circumstances.”

“Where the fuck am I? Let me out.” You tried your best to sound demanding and controlled, but it came out as a broken plea.

“Hush now, we haven't even reached a bargain.”

“What the fuck? Is this what it's all about? Money?”

“Of course it is, prettyface. Money, power, soldiers, a few businesses in Gangnam, with a side of seeing Seokmin getting humiliated in front of the boss.”

You shivered at the mention of Seokmin. The thought of him getting hurt made you struggle against your bonds.

“Stop that, it's annoying.” He tsked at the sound of the chair screeching.

“Why me?”

“Shut your mouth. I am the one in charge and you must listen very carefully. You know, it started with a bet…” Jin-Goo moved closer, his face was now under the faint light. Your gaze fell on Gyuri who was still frozen by the door.

He continued. “I told Seokmin that us capos should focus on narcotics, but he invested in gambling dens and nightclubs instead. The boss said whoever gets the most profit by the end of the year will receive his new properties overseas. A simple challenge, nothing special.

“But Seokmin was never a clean player. Can you guess what he did? He tortured the families of the other captains and forced them to hand over an insane amount of shares. He snuffed them off, one by one, destroying our ranks.

“He thought that just because he's related to the boss by blood, he could get away with it. He didn't have much to lose because that fucker never loved anyone to begin with. Until you showed up.” Jin-Goo dragged a finger against your jaw and gripped hard, forcing you to look at him.

“That’s bullshit.” You spat, making him grin. There was something sinister in his demeanor.

“That’s funny coming from you, y/n, daughter of a felon.”

“That’s not—”

"Shh, I know. I know about your dad, pretty face. Everyone in the gang does. Especially Seokmin." He smirked as he saw your breath hitch. "Ten years ago, the boss set up a huge mortgage property scam with your dad's company. A bunch of buildings were bought and sold just to mess with loans and make quick cash. Your dad had no clue, but it was all in his name. That's why he ended up in prison. I heard he got out two years ago."

You said nothing, trying not to listen to him. He was messing with your mind. He was bluffing. Seokmin couldn't have known about your father.

It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be.

“Guess who did the paperwork for that. The boss’s favorite captain, Lee Seokmin. He’s been the boss’s favorite dog ever since, but recently he’s been messing it up; attacking other capos and now fucking the scapegoat’s daughter.” He laughed. He laughed at your face, at your pain.

“Your precious boyfriend is a monster, y/n. See that camera over there?” He moved your head towards the left corner, right into the lens of the CCTV.

“I've been collecting evidence of his shit to send to the boss. If he ends up getting to you, if he lays a hand on any of my soldiers, the boss will know he’s behind the bankruptcy of the other captains. He’s a traitor. The boss never liked traitors.

“Now, while we wait for our Seokminnie, let's have some fun, shall we? Gyuri, babe, would you like to play with her? Some cuts and bruises will do. Ruin her face before he gets here.”

She walked towards you, her eyes still trained on the floor. You struggled to move away. 

“What the fuck are you doing? Get me out of here!”

She raised her hand.

“Don't you fucking dare,” you warned.

“I'm sorry,” she sniffled before her hand came down on your face in one blow. The sound reverberated against the walls. It stung. Your eyes welled up.

“What the hell did I ever do to you?” You looked up at her through your hazy vision. 

“I'm sorry.” Another slap came.

The torture seemed endless. Your face was so numb it felt like it wasn't even there anymore. The couple would leave you alone in the cellar, only to return and taunt you with cruel words and gestures. Jin-Goo ordered Gyuri to slap you again, but the hit was weak. Either she was losing her strength, or you were beyond feeling any pain.

“Jesus, Gyuri, why are you so soft today? Did you forget everything I taught you?”

“Jin-Goo, this isn't right.” She was sobbing now. Your throat tightened and your insides burned in anger. You were the one bound with your face stinging, and she was the one crying.

The man sighed, clearly disappointed. “You’re no fun. Go and fetch one of the guards for me."

Gyuri scrambled towards the door. As soon as the metal opened, a rancid smell filled your nostrils. Blood. 

Gyuri took a few steps outside before you heard her voice. "Babe…"

"What?" Jin-Goo asked, irritated.

The girl came back in, the barrel of a gun on her temple. She slowly backed into the cellar, clearly being pushed. The owner of the gun came into view. Seokmin.

The rapid beating of your heart was deafening now.

"Don't you dare lay a hand on her." He growled.

Jin-Goo already had his gun drawn. "Too late. Kill Gyuri and I'll shoot your bitch."

"Try me. You won't get out of here alive." He was terrifying, his eyes were murderous, his grip on the gun steady and practiced. Seokmin was taking the reign of his demons tonight. Even the devil would bow to him.

“No member should lay hands on another member without the higher-up's permission,” Jin-Goo said as if citing some sacred book.

This could backfire on Seokmin horribly. You called him, your throat dry. "Seokmin, there’s a camera."

Jin-Goo chuckled. "She's smart."

Two loud bangs and a crash of glass rang in your ear, echoing in the cellar. Seokmin just shot the camera. In the half-second that Jin-Goo flinched at the sound, Seokmin shot his hand, disarming him.

You almost bit your tongue at the sound, your hands were bound and you had no way to cover your ears. You grit your teeth and shut your eyes tight. Seokmin was already kneeling in front of you. 

“Are you hurt? I’m so sorry it took so long. I'll get you out of here.” He checked for signs of injury, caressing your numb face. You could barely see him through your tears, could barely hear him from the ringing in your ears and your pounding heart. Your head was about to burst.

Jin-Goo advanced to Seokmin with a scream, his hand covered in blood. Seokmin had anticipated his move and he tackled the man to the ground. Restraining his torso with a knee, Seokmin brought down his fist onto Jin-Goo's face. A loud crack of bone made you wince. Seokmin held his collar and struck him again.

You couldn't watch the sight so your eyes trained at the door that hung open. Gyuri was nowhere to be found. Wonwoo came in with a gun in his hand. His eyes fell on Seokmin getting his knuckles bloody then in your bound, trembling state. 

The consigliere released the shackles from your feet and the restraints from your wrists. He pulled you up. “Can you walk?”

You couldn't answer him. You wanted to look at Seokmin, to see if he was coming, but the sound of his fists on the other man's flesh made you shiver.

“Y/n, do you want me to carry you out?” Wonwoo asked. 

You still couldn't answer, but you took a step towards the door, anyway. Before you and Wonwoo got out, you heard Jin-Goo's weak voice. 

“The boss will get you and your bitch killed once you kill me, you fool.”

“No. I met the boss, he gave me the green light. Said he wanted me to deal with you however I want. I make more money than you anyway. You're just a liability… like the others.”

Like the others. So it was true then, that Seokmin had attacked the other capos. You wondered what else was true about the things your abductor told you.

Wonwoo dragged you before you could hear the last note of Jin-Goo’s agonized scream.

There were bodies on the floor, unmoving and covered in blood. You knew they were Seokmin's doing. You closed your eyes as you put one foot in front of the other.

It was a long minute of walking up different sets of stairs and dark corridors before finally seeing an open door into the night. Just as you got closer, a girl yelled.

"Y/n, wait!”

Wonwoo was already blocking you from her, gun trained to her head.

Gyuri didn't falter. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. He made me do it. I had no choice, he was going to kill my sister. I had no choice. Let me escape with you.”

She betrayed you. She ignored your pleas. She hurt you. You couldn’t meet her eyes. It was your turn to ignore her.

A loud crack from behind Gyuri echoed and she collapsed on the floor. Seokmin was there, face lined with murder. He dug the barrel of his gun into the underside of her chin, ready to kill her.

The deaths would cost him his status and his power, if not his life. Gyuri had betrayed you and hurt you, but you couldn't stomach the image of her helpless and face-to-face with death.

“Stop! Seokmin, please. I beg you.” Your throat strained, your voice broken and weak. “Just stop, let's go. It—It'll be difficult for you to plead innocent in court.”

“But I'm far from innocent, baby. Now close your eyes.”

“No! Please, don't be stupid. you don't have to do this.”

Wonwoo grabbed you away and into the cold night air, dragging you towards the car before you heard the gunshot. Your knees faltered and gave up when you heard it. It was a pain unlike any other. Wonwoo lifted you up and into the backseat. 

Before Seokmin left the building, the consigliere climbed behind the wheel. He waited for him even though a part of you was terrified and hoped he wouldn't get in the car. 

Seokmin settled into the front seat. As he checked on you in the mirror, you covered your face and pretended to be asleep. It was stifling. It hurt even more than the strikes you'd had.

There was nothing more painful than realizing Lee Seokmin really was a monster. And what hurt more was you realized just how scared you were. You were terrified of the person you loved the most.

It was a long drive, the night was pitch black and your ears were still ringing. You were sure that they could both hear your quiet sobs.

“I don't wanna go back to my apartment,” you whispered into the silence.

“It's okay, we can go to my place.” Seokmin looked back at you but you couldn't meet his eyes, afraid that you'd see the murderous glare in them.

“No.” You managed to utter. 

You gave Wonwoo your parents’ address.

⋆₊ ♱

The house was just as you left it. Quiet and devoid of lights. The sound of crickets filled the cold night. Seokmin walked you towards the front door, holding an ice pack against your numb cheek. You pulled an old key under a potted plant by the porch and unlocked the door. It creaked.

“Call me if you need anything. I'll be here tomorrow.” He handed you the ice pack. 

“Is it true? Your organization—your family…did you frame my father?”

He took a deep breath. “Yes.”

It was like you were seventeen again, crying to sleep as the victims of the mortgage scam banged on your door, cursing profanities at your father. They were so hurt, so angry that you almost believed your father actually did it.

Seokmin searched for your eyes, saying he was going to fix this. His voice was sweet. So pure, so believable.

It was like you were twenty again, pleading for them to file a retrial for your father. No matter how much you dug into the case, nothing came out. No names, no people to point fingers at.

Seokmin called your name, trying to snap you out of your trance. He called you again. And again.

You were twenty-four again, applying for law school with one goal in mind: make sure no other child will experience what you've experienced. Your father was released then but he was not the same man who told you everything was going to be fine.

Of course, it was just one of the many scams Seokmin's family did. It was just another job for him. He probably didn't even know the names of their scapegoats and other victims.

You stared at him, wanting to ask why he didn't say anything before, why he was pretending nothing happened. But you couldn't form the right words.

“I'll take you to dinner tomorrow and explain everything, okay? Get some rest. Put this on your face and apply an ointment after, hmm? I love you, baby.”

He leaned down to kiss your temple.

You flinched. You didn't mean to, but you flinched. Even under the dark sky, you could tell he was hurt. He swallowed as his eyes became glossy, tears bound to spill before you closed the door on his face. 

Your insides felt like ripping apart. You wanted to throw up, lash out, curse out loud, but you were too tired to do anything, so you moved towards the living room. You knew you looked like a mess. You also knew sneaking into your parent's house in the middle of the night was a bad idea. 

There she was, your mother, stumbling through the living room. She stared dumbfounded at the state of your appearance. 

“Y/n!”

You braced yourself for a slap, a shove, and being called a shameful daughter. You had a whole made-up story ready to tell her. But when she looked at you with genuine concern, you couldn't hold it in any longer. You burst into tears, collapsing onto the sofa, shaking with sobs.

“Shh… there, there, child.” She gently rested your head on her lap. You sobbed harder than ever before, the cries wrenching from your throat painfully, yet somehow, their release felt freeing.

⋆₊ ♱

Seokmin turned away, signaling Wonwoo to start the car. He said nothing as he walked out of your property. Out of your life. He said nothing as he heard you cry—cry because of him.

⋆₊ ♱

“I love him. I love him so much.” You whimpered. “I love him so much, but why does it hurt this bad?”

You were ready to be bombarded with questions. Your mother had no idea what you were talking about. But she felt your pain and that was enough. No context had to be said. Whatever you were feeling in your heart shot through her, as if the umbilical cord was never cut.

That night, you just let your tears flow. The ice pack has melted, dripping onto the carpet, but you didn’t move. You shook and cried your eyes out on her lap. She caressed your hair like you were a child again. She whispered sweet nothings as you sobbed through the night.

Breaking down and being cradled by your mother was an experience you never thought you'd feel again. You drifted to sleep, nightmares already haunting you, but you could feel her fingers on your scalp. 

“I love him. I love him so much.” You exhaled and let your shoulders sag. It was the worst yet the deepest sleep of your life. 

Tomorrow came and Seokmin did not appear as he promised. A part of you was relieved, but you also wanted to know his side of the story. Maybe he was forced to do the paperwork. Maybe he didn't have a choice.

Or maybe you were wrong about him all this time and he didn’t care about you and your father. 

When the sun finally rose, you walked upstairs into your old room. The warm rays filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow across your childhood bed. You spent the entire day sleeping, wrapped in the familiar comfort of your old sheets. The scent of aged books filled your nostrils, their musty fragrance mingling with memories of late nights spent reading under the covers.

Dinner with your parents was hell. You loved your mother’s cooking and you were grateful for her, but the second your father walked down the stairs, your heart sank. His face was lined with age, gray hair sticking out of his roots, his mind was somewhere else. It took him a few seconds to stare at your face before he acknowledged your presence. It was like he forgot he had a child. 

“Who did that to you?” He ran his gaze around, looking for the perpetrator, as if someone was going to come out of the shadows. He was hypervigilant yet quite not there.

“No one. It’s just allergies.”

Your mother shot you with a look, clearly not impressed with your lying. You were a law student, for God’s sake, you could have thought of some good reason to cover it up. But your father bought it, anyway. He flinched at the slightest sounds. Even the clink of utensils made him jump. With every second you spent with them, more and more guilt crept up your spine to eat you from the inside.

After dinner, you stayed in your room, digging up the old cases you studied when your father was still in jail. It consisted of similar court documents, files of other victims, framed suspects, and newspaper clippings. They were all swept under the rug like your father. But all of them aligned with Jin-Goo’s information. Someone powerful and rich enough to pay for people’s silence was behind them. Someone like Seokmin’s boss. 

A chill ran down your spine. Your father was an innocent real estate businessman. The evidence against him made you doubt that back then. He'd been convicted for eight years and spent the last two years scared of everything. Seokmin’s family took away a decade of his life. Seokmin’s family had ruined your life.

You were crying in your bed, head slumped against the sheets as the pale moonlight shone through the windows. Your phone rang, you didn’t even remember Seokmin giving it to you. His name flashed on your screen. With a shaky breath, you reached for the phone, unsure if you were ready to answer.

“I’m sorry, I couldn't be there. I still had a lot to fix. Are you okay? Is your face still swollen? Did they hurt you anywhere else? I’m really sorry about all of this, y/n.” He kept rambling with that sweet, doting voice. The voice of a caring boyfriend, not a liar. Not a murderer.

You ignored his questions. “Why didn’t you tell me anything about your involvement with my father’s case? You could’ve told me at least something, Seokmin.”

“I’m sorry, y/n. I’ll make this right. I promise I’ll make this right.” 

It wasn’t what you wanted to hear. Gyuri’s face as she pleaded for her life crossed your mind again. The scream of Jin-Goo as you escaped rang in your ear. The broken bodies on the ground flashed in your sight.

“Y/n?” he called again. “I’ll fix this. I’ll fix this for you.”

You hung up and—before you could think twice—blocked his number.

You filed a week of leave and spent it helping your mother with the chores, trying to pick up the pieces of your life and of yourself back together— slowly. You didn’t check your phone; cutting off from the outside world. You only spoke with your mother and, occasionally, your father. You had tried gaining information on what they remembered about his case, but it was a difficult topic in the household. It was the topic that would make him shift in his seat and walk out.

One night, your mother turned on the television to watch the news. You were about to head upstairs when you saw Gyuri and Jin-Goo’s faces. Mugshots. The headline said they were in jail for drug trafficking. You ran towards the television in shock. 

A clip of them shackled and being dragged by the police was shown. They were alive. Badly beaten, completely unrecognizable, but alive. Seokmin listened to your pleas. Seokmin didn't kill them. 

He did not break your rule.

The faint voice of the reporter mentioned something about life-long sentences in prison. You stared at the television for a long time, even after the news program had ended. The couple was locked up for good. And it repeated in your head again: Seokmin didn’t kill them; he did not break your rule.

That night, Wonwoo called you. You had to ponder if you were going to pick it up, but eventually decided to go for it. You owed Wonwoo a lot for saving you, anyway. 

“Y/n, did you hear the news?”

“Yes. I thought he killed them.”

“Of course he didn’t, y/n. He’s part of the mafia, but he’s not a murderer. He’s not the devil everyone believed him to be.”

“But, the case of my father...”

“That’s not true. I know what happened because I was there during the court proceedings. It wasn’t Seokmin who did it, but the other capos. The moment he learned about your father, Seokmin quickly immobilized their businesses. He also found out that some of them murdered civilians and sided with rival gangs so he ratted their stupidity out to the boss. Jin-Goo knew he was up next so he tried to stop it.”

“Why did he say yes when I asked him?”

“Because he can’t deny that he’s still part of the family. I think that’s what bothers him the most these days.”

Pain shot through your chest. You couldn’t help but feel sorry for Seokmin. He tried everything to please you, to make sure you’re safe and you’re happy. You couldn’t understand why things just don’t go your way. 

Wonwoo’s voice became more quiet. “Tell me when are you coming back. I’ve never seen him like this. He's not just crying, he's grieving. He's been making me do very weird paperwork.”

“Weird how?”

“Whistleblower-kind-of-weird paperwork.”

Your jaw dropped at the mention of the word whistleblower. This wasn’t good. Ratting out his gang—his family—was far from a good idea. Blood would spill and you prayed to the heavens it wasn’t Seokmin’s. 

‘The boss never liked traitors,’ you heard Jin-goo’s voice in your head.

Before you could even think, you were packing your bag, kissing your mother goodbye. You took one last look at your father and drove to Seokmin’s apartment.

You stared at his door, unable to knock. The last time you were here felt like years ago. But you could already smell him. Cedarwood. The smell of home. The door opened and you jumped, hiding behind a huge plant nearby, just out of sight. Seokmin was talking to someone on the phone.

"This isn't a threat." His voice was cold and demanding, far from the sweet tone he had used when talking to you. "I'm going down. And you all go down with me."

Your heart sank at his words. He was putting himself in so much danger, so many people would be angry at him, and many people would attack him, and yet his voice did not waiver.

“I don't care if it's too late, hyung. I want to change. You’re our boss, but you’re also my brother, so either you turn your back on them or me. I’ll wait until midnight.”

This was dangerous. So very dangerous. If he was planning to expose himself as part of the mafia, the last thing you should be doing was being with him, risking other people to see you. So you drank in the sight of him two meters away from you, with his black hair and chiseled face. He was wearing a black suit that reminded you of your first meeting. His hands were lined with so much history, so much experience. You basked in the smell, the glow, the presence of him before turning away. You prayed for the best.

⋆₊ ♱

Lee Seokmin was trained to feel the presence of anyone spying on him. But he didn’t need that training because he could feel you anyway. He could smell your perfume, and could almost hear your breath. He almost smiled when he saw your shadow shuffle behind the plant. A huge part of him waited for you to come out of hiding. He waited because he couldn’t force you to fight this with him. But he also knew it was his battle to win and his mess to fix. He was content with your visit; he knew you were silently wishing him the best, so he swallowed his greed anyway.

As he waited for his boss’s decision, he couldn’t help but cry.

⋆₊ ♱

‘He's not just crying, he's grieving.’ Wonwoo had said.

You couldn’t lie.

You grieved for him too.

And the whistle blew.

Raids, buy-bust operations, one business after another had been shut down. The media was on a roll, broadcasting every time a member was arrested. The crime family was flashed on screen, a terrifying gallery of faces. Mugshots for the history books. 

It was complete except for Seokmin, Wonwoo, and the boss, whom you now knew as Seungcheol. They were the last strands of the wilting web—the reason why the empire was crumbling. The pressure was mounting and you’ve lost sleep worrying about them.

You kept in touch with Wonwoo until he and Seokmin went into a witness protection program. Before he cut you off for good, Wonwoo promised that he would do everything he could to keep Seokmin safe, and if Seokmin ever went to jail, it would be alright. They were all ready.

Seokmin wanted to change.

.     ♰   .   ❦   .   ♰     .

3 Years Later

The sound of clicking keyboards and the quiet hum of the faculty’s air conditioner was broken when the door suddenly opened. A middle-aged woman entered with a wide grin on her face. She ran towards you, making you pause your work.

“Professor y/n! Have you seen the new instructor? He’s so handsome.” She grabbed your arm, forcing you to stand. 

Grabbing your coffee from your desk, you let her take you towards the buzzing hall. It was midterms, and you could feel the stress emanating from the students, a palpable tension in the air. It reminded you of the old days when you spent days and nights studying. Only if you could see yourself now: a bar passer and a full-time professor at the university.

You never would’ve imagined seeing him there, at the same university as a new instructor. It struck you, stirring a mix of aching sorrow and unexpected relief. It felt as though the thorns that had long been embedded in your chest were finally being pulled out. You had buried those feelings so deeply that you hadn’t even realized the pain they caused until the moment they began to fade away.

He had changed his name to Dokyeom. For safety purposes, you assumed. It was a symbol of a new beginning, of another chance. He no longer had that tension in his jaw, his softer features and kind eyes were more prominent. Girls and boys in the hall giggled as they passed by him, yet he didn’t notice. 

He was wearing a more casual attire. He no longer had chains around his neck, no black leather jacket, just a brown suit, a more refreshing aura.

You admired him for a moment, maybe two. It wasn’t until you heard a student profusely apologizing for bumping into you that you noticed you spilled your coffee onto your shoes. Brown liquid seeping into the soles of your feet. You winced and stepped away from the small puddle of drink.

And there he was on his knees.

He had the same black hair, but instead of the sharp, perfect style it once had, he sported his natural curls instead. He still smelled like cedarwood, but now with a hint of lavender and sage. It was a breath of fresh air. He had his handkerchief drawn, wiping the spilled coffee from your shoes.

He looked up with the kindest smile. He had changed. But he was still the same man who kneeled and wiped liquor from your shoes all those years ago. The same man who saved you, made sacrifices for you, and turned his back on his family. He had let go of the only life he’d ever known for another chance with you.

He was the same man who never broke your rule. 

It was at that moment you knew there was no letting go of him this time. You’d do everything to have the privilege to fall in love with him again, no matter how many pleas it would take.

tags: @hipsdofangirl @alyssa19123456 @dokyeomkyeom @intaksfav

[a/n] check my pinned for tracking wips! pls lmk your thoughts, my comments and asks are open^^

APRIL 12TH, 3:36PM

XU MINGHAO X YANDERE READER

WC: 2.7K

Minghao is hiding something from you.

You're hiding something from Minghao.

WARNINGS: MURDER, GORE, VIOLENCE, GUNS, WEAPONS, TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, MANIPULATION, YANDERE, unprotected sex, public sex, sex with a corpse in the room (yes this happened again idk how we got here), scary dirty talk?, this is just Y/N being insane.

Minghao is the light of your life. From the moment you first saw him on April 12th, at 3:36pm you were mesmerized. His all black attire, mullet, nails, everything; it did it for you. Of course he didn’t notice you, only because you didn’t want him to. Being able to blend in was a gift; you preferred to play in the shadows anyways. From that moment you tried to learn everything you could about him. The instagram and twitter searches oddly led to nothing and linkedin was a no go.  Hmmm, either he has no social media presence or doesn’t want to be found. Even after hours of digging you still find nothing. 

You decide to revisit the cafe you saw him at, maybe he’ll reappear. You can’t say you’re too shocked when he doesn’t. All you know is you need another taste of him, a sight of him, you need something, anything. 

“Excuse me.” you say to the worker behind the counter.

“Yes?” he says with an awful attitude, taking you aback.

“I think I lost my phone here a few days ago. Can I check the security cameras to see if someone stole it?”

“No.”

“What do you mean no?”

“I can’t show you them, lady.”

“Please.” you say batting your eyelashes at him and as always it works like a charm

“Maybe if you do me a favor, I’ll let you see.”

Gross. “Sounds like a plan” you smirk, trying not to throw up.

You follow him to the back to which he promptly pulls down his pants. You can’t help but laugh, his dick is so small. “What?” he says, sounding offended. “Nothing” you say and walk towards him. You pull out your trusty pistol and press it to his head. 

“Show me the tape.”

“You crazy bitch.”

That word always pisses you off. You’re not fucking crazy. You’re just passionate. 

“Shut the fuck up and show me the tape before I blow your fucking brains out.”

He immediately goes to the camera files and shows you the evening of April 12th. There he is. Your love. He somehow seems even more attractive. You sigh dreamily and the man next to you rudely interrupts to which you side eye him making him shut it. You take a copy of the file and erase the files from today in case this perv tries to go to the cops.

“Lovely doing business with you.”

You leave the cafe feeling like a teenager in love. He’s just so dreamy and you’re certain he’s sweet. As you rewatch the video on your phone you get an idea. Your friend Namjoon owes you one… hmm. If this is what it takes to find the man of your dreams so be it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You read the file left on your doorstep. Xu Minghao, 25, born on November 7, 1997, Chinese, 5’10, likes frogs? You fucking hate frogs, but If he likes them you like them. No occupation? He doesn’t look like someone who's broke. Maybe his parents are rich or something. Besides the basic information there's no current address, phone number, or information about school. This guy is basically a ghost.  How did they find out he liked frogs but not where he lives? You give Namjoon a call.

“Y/N.”

“Namjoon, why is there nothing about this dude?”

“He doesn’t want to be found for a reason.”

“Stop with the cryptic shit just tell me what his issue is.”

“Y/N I don’t think you want to know.”

“I swear to god.”

“He’s in the mafia. SVT. You don’t want to get involved with him.”

Oh. This does to deter you, if anything it makes you like him more. A dangerous man is a sexy man. You don’t want him if he can’t kill someone for you. 

“You gotta introduce us.” 

“No.”

“Why.”

“I did you your favor already. Plus I don’t approve of this.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to meet someone in the mafia on my own accord.”

“Y/N don’t act like you're not a criminal. You just pretend to be a good girl but we both know you’re not. I’m sure you’ll figure it you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He really likes tea. This is the third pack of tea he’s bought this week. Why not just buy more than one at a time? He walks through the aisles of the store like he always does, pretending to browse but knowing he’s just going to buy frog gummy bears. It’s the same thing every time. You pass by him and take a deep breath. He smells so good. You’re not sure how he hasn't noticed you yet. You’ve been a bit sloppy, trying to get as close to him as possible. He’s seen you walking around his apartment complex, at his favorite stores, at the park he meditates at, but he hasn’t seen you. You decide you’ve learned enough about him to finally approach him. As he’s about to leave the tea aisle you take this as your opportunity. 

“Excuse me” you say sweetly.

He turns around, seemingly shocked someone is speaking to him. 

“Yes?”

“Is that tea good?” you smile sweetly.

“Oh this? Yea it’s my favorite.”

“Hmm, maybe I should try it. I don’t really know much about tea.”

“I like to think of myself as a tea connoisseur,” he says with a kind smile. Perfect, he’s letting his guard down.

“Well lucky me, huh?”

“You’re blessed to be in the presence of an expert so yes, lucky you.”

He begins to go on and on about different types of teas, benefits, and a whole lot of other crap you’re not listening to. You just can't believe he’s speaking to you, looking at you, perceiving you. This must be heaven. 

“Can I ask your name?” you say as you two near the checkout.

He clearly weighs his options, deciding you seem innocent enough. 

“Hao.” he says, making you smile.

“Hi, Hao. I’m Y/N.”

From there you two “coincidentally” bumped into each other often. The interactions become friendlier and more comfortable. The smiles turned into longing eyes, small touches. You’ve eliminated any threats, any woman or man who looked his way too long had to go. You couldn't let anyone take you from him now that you had him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Baby, I need to go to work.” Hao whispers, trying not to disturb you too much. He knows you need your sleep, he has to leave at such weird times he feels bad. You’d think after a year of dating he’d have the balls to confess to you but he can’t. How are you supposed to tell your sweet, innocent, loving girlfriend you kill people for a living? He feels awful lying to you about his work, his life. You’ve been begging to meet his friends and family but he keeps denying you. He doesn't want to involve you in this lifestyle. You give him a tired smile and nod. “Ok, I’ll see you later.” you say and give him a kiss.

Minghao leaves your apartment and drives to the base. He has a few things to do today and then he can get back to you. He misses you already.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For someone in the mafia Hao is way too trusting and honestly kind of stupid. Did he not think sharing his location with you would be an issue? Of course the kind innocent girlfriend would never be watching his every move, checking street security cameras to watch what he does, who he talks to, what he looks at. You see he’s meeting a woman at a restaurant. The fuck? Does she want to die? They go into the restaurant and you lose sight of them. Without thinking you head to the restaurant. Just the thought of him talking to another woman infuriates you. He would never cheat on you, he’s too much of an angel and you’re sure if he did it wouldn’t be his fault. He was probably coerced or blackmailed, he would never do that. You speed to the restaurant and park a few blocks away. By now the sun has gone down and the streetlights have turned on. You wait for them to leave in the alley near the restaurant. They bid their goodbyes and Hao walks away after confirming his lady friend has a rise coming, always such a gentleman. Once he drives off the woman starts walking away; she must've lied. Unfortunate for her, great for you. You start crying in order to gain her attention. As she walks by you emerge.

“Excuse me.” you sob.

She looks at you bewildered. “Oh my goodness, are you alright?” she walks into the alley to get closer to you.

“Some girl tried to mug me and I’m waiting for the police. Can you come and wait with me, I want to make sure she doesnt leave.”

She immediately agrees and follows you deeper in. So gullible…

When she’s a little ahead of you, you reach into your back pocket and pull out the hammer you brought with you. 

“You think you can talk to my boyfriend and get away with it?”

She turns to look at you. “What? Minghao?”

“Yeup.”

“He’s dating you?” She says in disgust.

You just stare at her. She’s becoming increasingly uncomfortable and as she goes to walk past you, you swing the hammer into her face making her fall to the ground. You straddle her and beat her face in, hitting her over and over and over until the ground is covered in her skull and brain. You don’t stop until you hear movement behind you.

“Y/N?”

You freeze. He wasn’t supposed to see this. You stand up looking down at your pretty pink dress now stained red. You drop the hammer, ready to start crying. You’re searching for a story to tell him. Self defense always works right? 

He just starts laughing. You look up at him confused. 

“Baby, baby, baby. I didn’t know you had it in you.” he says as he begins walking towards you. He takes his chin in your hand and looks into your eyes. “Why did you kill her?”

You just pout, too embarrassed to answer. “Was it because I spoke to her? Were you jealous.”

You just nod, ashamed but not apologetic. “She had it coming. She didn't think I deserved you.”

“Do you deserve me?”

Your face falls. “I just killed someone for you and you’re asking if I deserve you?” you spit, letting the sweet persona drop.

“Y/N. Do you think I have not known what you really were this whole time? I’m not stupid. I know you're a psycho stalker. I saw you all those times before we started dating, I know you looked into me, I know you follow me around, track me. I know this is all a facade.”

You feel your world falling apart. This can’t be happening. He backs you into a wall. “Hao I just do it because I love you.”

“And I love you, but you fell for my trap baby. You can’t go around killing people.”

“But you do that all the time.”

He breathes out a laugh. “Well you got me there baby.”

“Wait, what trap?”

“I needed to prove my suspicions; catch you in the act. I was supposed to kill her, but I figured I'd use her as bait. And you're just so predictable. You just killed her with no remorse. You’re just crazy.”

You take a deep breath. You’re not fucking crazy. You look him in the eye. “I’m not crazy.”

“Well clearly I am, because seeing you kill that bitch turned me on.” 

“What?”

“You heard me. Seeing this pretty little dress I bought you covered in blood. God, It’s making me so hard.”

Well this is new. You go to speak only to be cut off by a rough kiss. He grinds his hips into you and he wasn’t lying he’s harder than ever. He begins kissing and biting down your neck, rubbing his hands across your blood soaked body. 

“If I tell you to kill someone else would you do it?”

“Yes” you immediately answer.

“Would you do anything for me?”

“Yes.” your breathing is picking up. He’s so close to you, you can feel his chest rise with every breath, his fingers tighten around your waist, everything. 

“You're just my little lap dog, huh? My every wish is your command?” you nod furiously as he sinks to his knees, hiking your legs on his shoulders. He bunches your dress on your hips and pulls your panties to the side. He dives in, eating you like his favorite food, the vigor and intensity driving you mad. “Hao, please fuck me I want to cum on your dick.” He groans, setting you down gently. 

“You want me to fuck you in this dingy alley? With people passing? What would look worse, them finding the body or them finding us covered in blood, fucking next to a body?”

You honestly dont give a fuck about either, all you want his his dick in you. “Hao please just fuck me.”

“I don’t know, Baby.”

“If you don't put your dick in me right now, I’ll show you how crazy I can be.”

He groans. He unbuttons his slacks and pulls his boxers down enough to pull himself out. He hikes you up the wall and pushes in, bottoming out immediately. “Fuckkk, just the thought that you killed someone just so you can have me is making me want to cum in this sweet pussy right now. But you deserve an award for being so good to me right?”

“Please. I deserve it.” you moan.

He begins thrusting into you, hard and deep, trying to make you cum. The feeling of his arms holding you, his body heat on yours, and the adrenaline running through your body, it’s all driving you crazy. He angles his hips upward, searching for the spot that drives you crazy. 

“Tell me, what was it about me that made me want you so much?” he whispers in your ear.

“You just- y-you looked so hot, and you sm- smelled so good and ughh.” Every word you say he thrust into you harder making you unable to get a full sentence out. He’s taunting you. “Do you not love me?” he says slowing down. “Is that what it is? You don’t want me?” 

“No, no I do! I want you so bad Hao.”

“I don’t think so.” he says as he puts you back on the floor. “I don’t think you love me as much as you say you do. You just want me because I’m pretty? You don’t really love me.”

“What do I need to do to show you? I’ll do anything Baby.”

“I want you to kill someone else for me. Get more blood on your hands.”

“Right now? Just tell me who, I’ll do it.” you start walking back towards the street to which he pulls you back.

“God, Baby. You don’t know what seeing you like this does to me. So obsessed with me that you’ll blindly follow what I say. This power is going to my head.”

You groan, feeling delirious. You just want to cum at this point and these games he’s playing is pissing you off. You reach into his suit pocket and pull out his gun pointing it to  his head.

“I may love you but I love cumming more. Get to it.”

“Yes Ma’am”

He presses your hands against the wall and slides back into you from behind. He starts pounding into you ruthlessly, you feel every ridge and vein of his cock. You want to scream, cry, laugh, anything. You feel like you’re genuinely losing your mind, so overwhelmed by everything you're feeling. You start crying only making him fuck you harder. 

“Cry for me baby, let me see all those pretty tears.” he groans in your ear.

His feral groan makes you cum, squeezing him so tight he slips out. He jerks himself off, cumming onto your ass with a quiet moan. You try to catch your breath. That was so intense, you still feel like you’re on a different planet. He turns you around and pulls you into his chest. His warm embrace grounds you like it always has. 

“I love you. You’re so good to me, Baby.” he says as he hugs you harder.

“I love you too, Hao. So much.”

You both step over the body, leaving the alley hand in hand.You look at him under the moonlight. As beautiful as the day you saw him but even more beautiful now that he’s yours. 

kick in the right direction

pairing: football player!seungcheol x mascot!reader

genre: fluff, university au

w/c: 0.9k

summary: seungcheol is the star football player in your university but he becomes a bumbling mess in front of you.

warnings: none, you do get hit by a ball though

a/n: i have decided to start writing fics for seventeen too because i just love them way way too much <3 also disclaimer this post used to be under my old url httphannie <3

Seungcheol doesn’t know what to say. He usually has an explanation for his actions. There doesn’t seem to be anything coming to his mind when he sees you on the ground. The problem with being the star player on the football team was the amount of trust his coach put on him. As well as the thought that they needed to win every game, that wasn’t a problem though because Choi Seungcheol was a beast when he was in game mode. His aim was the best on the whole team, he’d never missed a goal. 

Obviously today was an off day.

“You’re staring, Cheol.” Jeonghan gives him a hearty slap on the back. “You really like our school mascot don’t you?” All Seungcheol can do is nod, watching as Seungkwan helps you up.

He really wants to go over and say sorry for nearly knocking you out with his kick but he can’t. Not because he doesn’t want to but because he simply can’t. It’s stupid really. Choi Seungcheol, star player of the football team, can’t say two words when he’s faced with you. He’s tried speaking to you. Once after a game, not the best choice because he’d become so nervous he spilt his water bottle all over you. Even after you told him it was fine he was still stuttering his words. Another time he’d managed to catch you walking down the hallway. The moment you smiled and said ‘hi’ his mind blanked. No words could come out of his mouth and he stood there gaping like a goldfish.

Talking to girls was easy for Seungcheol. He could give them a smile and they’d be fawning all over him. You were different. There isn’t one time he’s had a full conversation with you with nothing embarrassing happening. He’d stumble over his words or nothing would come out of his mouth. The only thing that kept him from giving up was the fact you would grin every time he came up to you and he didn’t like giving up.

“Of course I like her!” Seungcheol runs a hand through his hair. “I just don't know what to do?”

“You could ask her out.”

“I can’t!” 

His friend arches an eyebrow, clearly puzzled. "What do you mean you can't ask her out? Like you're scared, or you don't know how to, because those two are completely different things." Jeonghan's tone is gentle but probing, urging Seungcheol to confront the root of his hesitation.

“That’s not it. I’ve got everything planned out. I know what to say and I know where I want to bring her to. There’s a whole plan in my notebook, it’s coloured in and everything!”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Seungcheol fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “Whenever I go up to her to ask her out my throat closes and I can’t find the right words. Or when I try to even write my confession, my hand freezes and no letters can be written. It’s even worse because I manage to make a fool of myself whenever I’m in front of her!” He kicks the football away.

Jeonghan sighs, staring at Seungcheol as he aimed a perfect kick to the goal. The boy was completely enamoured by you. Practically the whole school knew about his crush on you. Everyone was just waiting for the day the both of you would come in hand in hand. 

//

“Y/n, oh my god! Are you okay?” Seungkwan was shaking you by your shoulders. You rub your head. That football was really hard. Who knew air could hurt you? “How many fingers am I holding up?” He waves three fingers around and your eyes struggle to adjust to his trembling hand.

“Calm down. I just got hit in the head, I don’t have a concussion or anything.” You just know there’s going to be a huge bump on your forehead tomorrow. “It’s partly Stuart’s fault.” You pat the dragon costume you had on. The fuzzy green body was heavy and the long swishy tail at the back was quite annoying to lug around.

"Why are you blaming our mascot? Stuart did nothing wrong," Seungkwan interjects, shooting a pointed glare at Seungcheol. "Star player my ass." He mutters under his breath, clearly unimpressed.

“Hey, don’t blame him. I’m sure it was an accident.” You give Seungcheol a little smile and an ‘okay’ sign to tell him everything was fine. 

“I can’t believe you like that dumbass, he can’t string two sentences together when he’s in front of you.” Seungkwan helps you up, handing you Stuart’s head. You dust off the dirt on your costume. 

What was there not to like about Choi Seungcheol? He was popular, athletic, smart and talented in everything. Not to mention he was the literal definition of eye candy. There hadn’t been many occasions where you two had met. He’d always stutter helplessly or his cheeks would resemble a fire truck, which was very endearing. It was quite funny seeing him stumble over his words whenever he tried to ask you out.

“Why don’t you just ask him out? You already know he likes you, not that he makes it the most obvious thing in the world.” 

“But isn't it just the cutest thing when he tries to ask me out but he’s a stuttering blushing mess?” You giggle when you catch sight of the pout Seungcheol has on his face. “I hope he asks me out soon though, I can’t wait to finally go on a date with him.” 

The smile you shoot at Seungcheol has him tripping over his feet, face planting into the ground. Suppressing your laughter behind your hand, you watch as he hurriedly picks himself up, only to see his teammates rolling on the floor with amusement.

“How long are you even willing to wait?”

“As long as it takes.”

౨ৎ voicemails xu minghao leaves you while he’s on tour - fluff (with a pinch of angst), established relationship, gn!reader (pet names used: darling, baby)

...one: hi darling. we just got to the hotel. sleep well, and text me when you wake up tomorrow. i love you

…two: my mum called me today asking about you. do you mind giving her a call, she's been nagging me for weeks about you. i swear you're her favourite child at this point

...three: please don’t tell me you’re ignoring my calls because i broke that picture frame. i promise i’m going to be you a new, even prettier one when i come home. just… text me, please?

...four: i'm sorry but i won't be able to talk to you tonight, we have some schedules in the evening, and we'll probably stay at the venue until one or two. but send me like a voice message or something? i still want to hear about your day

...five: do you want to help me out, and choose some photos that i could post on instagram? i’ll send you a bunch from the gallery me and wonwoo went to today. you always pick the best ones

...six: i’m genuinely so sick of the boys, i’m going crazy. if you see some weird headlines about someone committing a murder just know it’s me

...seven: i know we’re supposed to talk later tonight, but i just wanted to say that i miss you

...eight: you sounded tired on the phone earlier today. i didn’t want to say anything, but (sigh) are you sure everything is okay? you know you can always talk to me, baby. even with an ocean separating us

...nine: did you take the sweater my mom got me for my birthday? i'm sure i packed it, but i can't find it anywhere.

...ten: you know... the tour is great, but i can't wait to go back home. i really miss you

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @soul-is-a-strange-kid @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @chillseo @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @aaasia111 @tomodachiii @veryfabday @lilmochiandsuga @asasilentreader @mrsnervous @bewoyewo @sharonxdevi @wondipity @gyuguys @raginghellfire @treehouse-mouse @waldau

for you, the world

seungcheol x gn! reader

summary: feeling as though seungcheol's feelings towards you had changed, you confront him.

wc is approx 2.4k

genre: angst and comfort. idol au.

warning/notes: a reference to the feeling of being choked. depression and anxiety from both cheol and the reader. mentions of depression and anxiety. serious discussions of feelings, feeling vulnerable, being honest even though it's scary.

request: how do you think scoups reacts when the love of his life asks him to love her more than she loves him

author: i realized you wanted a reaction and not a oneshot too late!!! but here's the requested reaction

You were twisting your hands, wringing your fingers and scraping your nails against your skin. You refused to look at Seungcheol, staring at his feet where he still wore the sneakers he had hurriedly put on before going to practice that day, having had no time to do much else after waking up late.

It wasn't hard to see the weariness on your face, not when you held your body away from him, as if he was a stranger you were about to bare your heart to and not the man you've been dating for four years.

You were wearing mismatched socks. Your sweats were uneven, one leg having rolled up to your knee and the other bunched loosely around your ankle. The hoodie was his, and Seungcheol knew that if he were to press closer he would be able to smell his cologne.

"Baby," Seungcheol began, hesitant.

You shook your head roughly, cutting him off. "Wait. Let me get all this out first. I'm trying, Cheol, it's just -- it's hard."

He nodded. Seungcheol smoothed his hands over his pants, trying to rub off the sweat that had begun to collect there. He would be lying if he ever tried to say he wasn't an anxious person, but concerning your relationship? Seungcheol always thought navigating your relationship was like sailing a under the brilliant sun, using its brightness as a guide.

But all of a sudden he felt as if the sun had given to darkness and rain, thunderclouds cracking overhead and stirring the sea; he was in uncharted territory, and he felt as if time was beginning to work against him.

You took a deep, shuddering breath, composing yourself. "I'm just -- it's hard. Being honest. Not in the way that people think. If someone asks me my opinion on something I'll give it, but this. Being honest like this is hard."

That's what Seungcheol liked about you. You were honest. It dripped off of you just like your sweetness did, just as thick as honey. You were honest with your words, but with your expressions moreso. More than once, when Seungcheol pointed out a certain look or expression you got, you would explain that your face was your weakness; even if you had ever managed to tell a lie, your face would give it away.

But this honesty, the honesty you were trying to give to Seungcheol, was different. It wasn't telling Minghao that his brightly colored outfit wasn't coordinated, no matter how Minghao would try to convince you otherwise. It wasn't your look of disgust when Mingyu tells a joke that doesn't land.

It was the honesty of taking your soul out of your chest and revealing it. It was showing someone the deepest, darkest thoughts that lingered in the back of your mind, in hidden corners that no sunshine could ever reach.

It was, Seungcheol knew, the same honesty that had him calling you at three in the morning, sobbing, as he felt his depression grip him around the throat and squeeze to the point of no return.

So he was still and silent, observing you. Letting you speak.

"I think --" you tried once, twice, voice and heart rebelling against one another. "I feel. I feel, wrongly, horribly, that -- that you don't love me anymore."

For a moment Seungcheol didn't understand what you were saying. It was like when someone suddenly speaks about something that happened long ago, a veil of fog over the memory before it was revealed.

But then the accusation filtered through his ears, through the fog. It pierced through his brain and landed in his heart, digging into it, puncturing.

He opened his mouth immediately to protest. Seungcheol loved you. He loved you.

When he was younger and still bright-eyed, when he sang about first loves and flower paths, when it felt like it was him and his members against the world, Seungcheol hadn't really taken much stock in the words he sang. They were words that Jihoon so eloquently wrote, each holding the considerable weight of their future success and whether it was worth it -- whether Seventeen was worth it. But they were words.

But then he met you, dated you, fell in love with you. And he understood what it meant when they sang about feeling clumsiness around a crush, when he had the irresistible urge to tell you about his adoration for you. Every single word he ever rapped or sang seemed to have made sense. Every single word, from the first ever song to now, was for you. It was all for you, even if he didn't know it at the time.

And now --

Now you were saying --

"I know -- I know what you'll say," you rushed on, having seen his bewildered look. "I know it. Seungcheol, I know you love me. I know it. I know, I know, I know.

"But at the same time --" Your voice cracked, and you turned your head sharply. Your arms moved to cradle yourself, squeezing your shoulders. "At the same time I have this voice. This thought. And of course I was able to ignore it, for the longest time I did. But now --"

Seungcheol watched as you took one deep breath, lungs filling. You held it for three seconds; released. You did this twice more, eyes squeezed shut, shoulders rising and lowering.

He immediately recognized it as something he taught you. He had researched ways to soothe oneself and had stumbled upon this breathing technique. Seungcheol remembered your wide eyes as you looked up at him, awed with how well it worked.

"Now," you said, voice calmer. You still didn't look at him. "Now it's like you don't even want to be around. Around me. You get home late from practice, getting stuff to eat with the guys after. And that's fine! Of course it's fine for you to hang out with them, of course it's fine for you to hang out with your friends. I'm not saying that. I'm not.

"But you come home late, past the time I can stay up because of work. And then I wake up and you're still asleep. And on the weekends you wake late, because you're exhausted, of course. But you wake up late and have no time for anything other than a shower and a meal before you go running off to practice. And it repeats."

You reached up, rubbing at your nose. You had been crying, Seungcheol realized. "Or you go and hang out at Hybe with the boys. And I can't go there. You know that. Or hang out with them and their friends, their expensive and shiny friends, and you know how I am with strangers. You know what it's like to be the only dull thing in a room of shining people."

And he did. Fuck, he did.

"You don't even text me," you cried, your voice finally giving out. Your hands went to your cheeks, furiously rubbing. Seungcheol wanted to cross the room to you in that instant, to take you into his arms and press kisses to your forehead and tell you to save it, that surely this conversation could wait for another day.

But he knew it couldn't.

Not when you were crying over it, not when it was so obviously driving you to exhaustion worrying about it.

"I text you all the time. I text you about every single fucking thing that makes me laugh or smile because I think it'll make you happy. I tell you about whatever dog I see, about whatever kid I see running about. And you just -- you don't even respond.

"And I know the messages usually aren't about anything important. But I just -- you can't even acknowledge it?"

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself. But it was no use. You were sobbing. You were sobbing like your heart was breaking, and Seungcheol knew his was.

"It's like you won't even acknowledge me," you sobbed, chest heaving. "You won't even look at me, it feels like!

"Seungcheol," you slapped a hand over your mouth. You weren't even stopping your tears now, not even wiping them away. It was just as bad as seeing you trying to hide them, Seungcheol thought.

It was like you were giving up.

"Seungcheol," you began again, voice thick, "why can you love me like I love you? Why can't you love me just even a fraction more than I love you?"

It was like you had been preparing him for the plunge. You put him in lukewarm weather, then cold. Each and every word of yours was preparing Seungcheol, was giving way to some horrible truth that was clawing out of the back of your mind, leaving its dark corner. But then you picked him up out of that cold water and plunged him into Arctic water, the temperature shocking him and electrifying his body.

Because nothing, nothing, could ever prepare him for that.

There were a few things Seungcheol couldn't imagine you ever saying. He couldn't imagine you ever saying that apple juice was better than orange; that football was better than basketball. Just like he never, ever, could have imagined you saying that you doubted his love for you.

It was like you and Seungcheol were standing in the rain. It was soaking your clothes, making your hair cling to your head. There was no sun, it being hidden by thick dark rain clouds. Both of you could hear the rain smacking against the pavement.

But, nonetheless, you were turning to him and saying how you liked bright and sunny days like this one.

Then, Seungcheol realized, the two of you weren't just standing in the rain. He was being pelted with it, his love so obvious for you that it seeped into his clothes and in his very being. But, even though you were standing beside him, you were holding an umbrella, protected from the rain.

You were quiet in front of him, shrinking back into yourself. You were turning your shoulders from him, clutching at your elbows as you hugged yourself. Still you were hiding your eyes from his. "I'm sorry, Cheol. I know it's ridic --"

Unable to help himself, Seungcheol was shooting off the couch. Your body was in his arms before he really realized what he was doing. He was pressing your body into his, feeling your elbows awkwardly dig into his chest, your face dig into his collar. Almost instantly your tears were soaking his shirt.

"Listen," he started, voice thick and stern. "Listen to me, baby. I have spent every day of the past three and a half years loving you. I have loved you through some of the worst fucking days of my life."

Seungcheol pulled away, his hands going to your cheeks. He wiped at your tears, your eyes shining from them. You sniffled; he echoed it.

When had he stared crying?'

"You listen to me," he said, feeling his jaw clench. He didn't let you look away, turning your face to keep his eyes trained on yours. "I have loved you even when I hated myself. Even when I didn't know how I could love anyone or anything, I loved you.

"I loved you when you showed up for our sixth month anniversary wearing that cute smile and the little cherry earrings. Remember them? I loved you when you took me to meet your grandparents, loved you when I brought you to mine and my grandpa couldn't believe how I managed to find someone as sweet and kind and clever as you to call my own.

"I loved you when you got Josh to teach you how to make bracelets so you could make one for me. I loved you when you sat with Jeonghan and made me that silly Lego flower set. I loved you when you stayed up far-too-fucking-late to FaceTime me on tour. I loved you when you got me that silly little fucking bear at the Airport Giftshop for way to much money just because you said it reminded you of me.

"I loved you when I did nothing but sit in the dark. When you would show up with food and love and just hold me.

"That doesn't just go away," Seungcheol breathed, blinking to try and see you through his tears. "I've always loved you. Always. Nothing can change that."

You burrowed into him, your hands clinging to his shirt. Seungcheol squashed you against him, feeling as if even a centimeter of space between the two of you was too much.

"I'm sorry." He licked his lips, pressing his eyes shut and laying his head on top of yours. "I'm so fucking sorry. You should never, ever, feel as if I don't love you. As if I won't fucking climb Mount Everest naked for you. As if I wouldn't give everything I am to be the one privileged enough to spend the rest of my life beside you.

"You are so important," he said. "You are so important. To me, to the members, to your family. To my family. To every single fucking person you've ever met. You are worth so much more than I could ever give. But I will spend the rest of my life giving, giving you my love and adoration."

You nodded against his chest. The two of you stood there in the dim light of your living room, arms wrapped around one another. Seungcheol sighed, squeezing you.

"I will send you texts every fucking minute of every hour," he vowed, as if such a thing could mend your broken heart and erase the past hour of tears. "I'll send every bird, dog, cat, mouse -- everything. I'll make you show up to every after-practice dinner. I'll drag you out of the apartment in pajamas if I have to. I'll wake up bright and early and make you a gourmet breakfast."

"No, you won't."

Seungcheol laughed weakly. "You're right. I can try, though." "I'll appreciate whatever you give me," you murmured into his clothes, voice still small and weak from crying. "Even a bowl of cereal."

But you didn't deserve a bowl of cereal, Seungcheol thought. You didn't deserve a text every minute, didn't deserve a picture of every fucking animal on Earth. You didn't deserve dinners after midnight, didn't deserve omelets or bacon or sausage.

You deserved the world.

And Seungcheol would spend the rest of his life giving it to you.

『 take a pic! 』

✧ svt!maknae line x reader ✧ summary: text messages of u asking ur boyfie for a pic<3 ✧ warnings: pls ignore the times!! food mention ✧note: if anyone has any ideas (but not requests, as i cannot promise i can get to it) for texts shoot it into my inbox!! <3 hyung line ver here

tag list: @coffeestay @tinkerbell460 @hyneyedfiz @wonuhour @sweet-like-caramel @immabecreepin

rest of the maknae line below <3