Words ~Breath The Words. By Hattie Heart On Flickr.

Words ~Breath the words. by Hattie Heart on Flickr.

Why I identify as queer rather than gay

There are several reasons why I choose to identify as queer rather than gay. 

1. I reject heteronormativity and homonormativity. 

2. My sexuality isn’t really covered under the label gay.

3. It’s a pejorative term that I’m taking back. 

4. I prefer the term queer to gay or any of the variants of the acronym describing the queer community because it’s more open and less exclusive sounding to me. 

5. I reject the exclusive, mainstream gay rights movement because all it does is perpetuate this notion that we, as a community, require state sanction, can only gain liberation via lobbying groups like the HRC, and creates a space where trans* people and people of color aren’t really thought of as being integral to the community [see ENDA, and how the HRC dropped the protections for trans* folks to get it passed]. 

Parents of gays demonstrate in support in New York, 1960s.

Steampunk heels equipped with gears, tubes and LED lights / The Trendaholic

"There's a point that few make when talking about the whole "coming out" issue. When gays are, say, around 3 percent of the population, it is not unreasonable to assume they are straight, until told otherwise. Odds are: a random person will be straight. And so it is simply a fact of homosexual life that you have a double standard when it comes to public acknowledgment of one's orientation. To get to neutrality, gays have to say something, while straights need only swim in the current of the majority. No straight person needs to come out. Every gay person, who doesn't want basic facts about him or her misunderstood, has little choice." --Andrew Sullivan

This is the point I try to make, with varying degrees of success, every time I hear/see a well-meaning "ally" say/write "It's no one's business." This was even the first thing out of my mother's mouth when I told her I was setting up house with my better half. "It's not like you have to tell anyone you're a couple. It's no one's business." And I thought of Brian McNaught's wise words: "I'm not telling [them] what I do. I'm telling [them] who I am."

Welcome to October