Dantheham - Dan The Ham - Tumblr Blog

Fucking hate pet rent.  You want my cat to pay rent?  She is a cat.  Cats don’t have jobs.  Idiot.

if a trans girl hits a lawyer while driving a rental car on christmas eve that's a transgender-public defender lender rear-ender fender bender in december

rule

Reblog if you’re polyamorous, support polyamorous people, or think polyamorous people and relationships are valid

my 2022 highlight was when a guy was driving me home after a date and his phone was playing songs on youtube thru the aux on autoplay BUT he was also using it as a satnav so we had to just cope with whatever song came on. anyway we listened to the isolated vocals for "eye of the tiger" in silence because neither of us acknowledged it and it got to a certain point where it would be even weirder if one of us did say something

/edit: I realise a text post doesn't even do it justice, it went exactly like this

too many people see evolution as just animals becoming better animals when the truth is that theres a species of boar that evolved to die because its tusks grow into its skull because the males with long tusks fuck the most

I feel like if you scream at a small animal loud enough it would simply explode 

tee hee hee [lays in barrow nook]

Guy who transforms into a swarm of locusts when shaken vigorously: hey can you turn the music down it's resonating kind of hard and shaking the ground and I don't want to endanger anyone

DJ Loudmusic: SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THESE SICK JAMS! HERE'S MY NEXT SONG, "EPIC JUNGLE BEAT THAT GIVES LOCUSTS THE DESIRE TO KILL HUMAN BEINGS"

since the old version of this post was flagged for ‘adult content’…

reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!

along with that, reblog if your account is a non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the enby spectrum!

just ordered a new and bigger cat tree

(it is NOT for my mutuals. I'm getting MY cat a roommate (sapphic). you can NOT live with my cats in their tree. it is for THEM and you are NOT allowed))

sending "?" to represent myself tilting my head like a dog

WGA/SAG strike in a nutshell