I Have A Fear Towards Islam. I Get Nightmares Where An Islamic Radical Tries To Kill Me. This Fear Originated

I have a fear towards Islam. I get nightmares where an Islamic radical tries to kill me. This fear originated after moving to an Arab country where I live now. Despite having Muslim friends, I am still hateful towards the religion. How can I stop?

What you’re afraid of is terrorism and murder. Islam is simply a religion. 

You can hate on the followers of a religion, their misinterpretations, and their personal prejudices. But the religion itself is purely philosophy and doctrine. 

In my experience with Christianity and Islam, what you look for is what you find. If you are looking for archaic and even cruel philosophies, you will find aspects of that in their canonical texts. If you are looking for insightful and moving wisdom, you can find that too. 

I feel we live in an era that is incapable of being fully served by the religions of the past. While we may learn much from them, the future must come from the present. 

Much of that may depend on each and every one of us to discover our own paths. That is why I encourage meditation. It is like giving you a flashlight in the dark. Where you decide to go is up to you but at least you will be awake and aware. Your mind and heart will be healthy and in balance. 

You don’t have to approve of Islam or any other religion in order to be at peace with its presence and the presence of its followers.

My advice to you is to meditate daily. But also maybe to explore a bit of Islam’s mystical tradition called Sufism. There you will find a mysterious tradition of unknowable love. Read poetry by Rumi and Hafiz.

I find that when I have received some sort of wisdom from a religion, I can feel grateful for it. 

Namaste! 

The story of the useless tree.

The Crooked Tree

Hui-tse said to Chuang-tse, “I have a large tree which no carpenter can cut into lumber. It’s branches and trunk are crooked and tough, covered with bumps and depressions. No builder would turn his head to look at it. Your teachings are the same, useless and without value. Therefore, no one pays attention to them.”

"As you know," Chuang-tse replied, "a cat is very skilled at capturing its prey. Crouching low, it can leap in any direction, pursuing whatever it is after. But when its attention is focused on such things, it can easily be caught with a net. On the other hand, a huge yak is not easily caught or overcome. It stands like a stone, or a cloud in the sky. But for all its strength, it cannot catch a mouse."

"You complain that your tree is not valuable as lumber. But you could make use of the shade it provides, rest under its sheltering branches, and stroll beneath it, admiring its character and appearance. Since it would not be endangered by an axe, what could threaten its existence? It is useless to you only because you want to make it into something else and do not use it in its proper way."

Om.

Could you elaborate more on the topic of defending ourselves (or our journey) to others? Why do we do this? Recently, I left a career and lost a father to cancer. One of the most difficult things has been explaining to friends the path that I am choosing. I have decided to take some time off to explore the things in life that really matter to me. This answer seems to make others uncomfortable. Then I hold back for fear of being judged for my decision. I find myself avoiding certain friends.

Any time I have found myself defensive, it has always come from a place of insecurity. If I have a way I want to be perceived, an acceptance/understanding I want to find from others, or something inside that I’m trying to ignore, then defensiveness arises. 

For example, I had a difficult time finding a job after college. Many places were happy to give internships but then had no intention of hiring further down the line. I switched fields a few times, trying to find something that would click. 

In the meantime, many of my friends were gainfully employed. And just as I couldn’t understand what it was like to be working full-time after college, they couldn’t understand what it was like to be unemployed facing continual rejection. 

I cringed at the typical social questions asking what I do, where I’m going, and so on. 

The funny thing is that those questions are almost entirely insincere. The people asking them have no real interest in your path. They are just seeking an easy way to understand you. “Oh, he’s a banker” or “He’s going back to school” and so on. 

Real life is messy. It doesn’t always come together cleanly. For those who don’t fit into pre-existing schemas, any of those social questions cannot be met with a simple answer. It’s more of a conversation than just a response. But again, most of the people asking aren’t interested in that.

So what do you do? I just stopped explaining and defending myself. Once I realized that people’s thoughts about me were incredibly divorced from the reality of being me, I stopped putting so much weight on what they thought—and vice versa. I don’t put a lot of stock in the thoughts I have about other people.

The only understanding you live with and the only understanding you require is your own. But you must be wholly honest and upfront with yourself on a moment to moment basis. 

And since these “what do you do” and other typical social questions are just bullshit inquiries, I usually just give bullshit answers. “I’m exploring self-consistent field methods for determining wave functions of polyelectronic atoms,” is one way to shift the conversation. 

Try approaching social interaction more like a game of self-expression rather than a battlefield of identity, it is much more peaceful and amusing that way. 

I’d definitely recommend the book The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron. I also lost my father to cancer and I understand it must be a very difficult experience to go through. But you have a wealth of strength and love inside yourself, which you will naturally uncover when you shift your focus from trying to find it outside. 

I will admit, these sorts of circumstances do tend to make clear who your real friends are.

Namaste my friend much love

Hi there! I have a question. I think you are a very smart and enthusiastic when it comes to stuff you do. So I have been wondering how do you keep up the "I can study all of this and I have enough energy" attitude? I am trying to be always enthusiastic (medical student) because I always loved science but lately I am kinda NAH i dont feel like learning new stuff anymore and I don´t know how to motivate myself. Any advice? thanks anyway:) and have a nice day!

You shouldn’t aspire to be always enthusiastic - it’s a state of being that is quite impossible to constantly maintain and is an unrealistic expectation for yourself, as detrimental as wanting to look like skinny beautiful photo-shopped celebrities or the images that fast food companies put out of their mouth-watering foods. The truth is, I get totally bummed out sometimes. My job can be draining, confusing, and demanding on occasion. I’m in a new city and I miss my friends, familiarity.  I spend weekends on my couch alone zoned out on reddit when I know I should be reading, researching, proactively doing. I’m learning to accept that sometimes it’s completely okay to do nothing. Your body needs time to process what you’ve learned, to ingest the information, and most of all to contextualize it.

I can’t tell you how to motivate yourself because I don’t know you, but partially what motivates me is my own frustration. After a while I get frustrated that I’ve been doing nothing, dissatisfied with watching the world continue while I sit idly by, seeing events and discussions carrying on which I am ultimately then compelled to contribute to. And I pick myself up and rejoin the conversation, I meet someone to start a dialogue with, I begin participating in collaborations. I go outside. 

Don’t force yourself, and don’t feel guilty when you’re taking a break. You will last much longer if you don’t burn yourself out in the beginning. 

Fear is your best friend or your worst enemy. It’s like fire. If you can control it, it can cook for you; it can heat your house. If you can’t control it, it will burn everything around you and destroy you. If you can control your fear, it makes you more alert, like a deer coming across the lawn.

Mike Tyson (via mmaquotes)

Do you have a list of books or other resources on Daoism that you've found to be the most useful?

There's a lot of great books on Daoism, so it's hard to say what have been the "most" useful. Of course, the original text by the old man is probably the best place to start. Most translations are pretty solid, just be careful about those that try to insert their own commentary into the text.

The Dalai Lama's "Beyond Religion" is definitely one of my favorite books on religion and life philosophy, and I highly recommend giving it a read. It's simple and practical and insightful, which I think is the way Daoism should best be approached.

I also recommend "The Tao of Pooh," which I understand to be the gateway book for a lot of people into Daoism. Again, it is a book that is easy to understand and preaches a simple happiness for us all. There are lots of folks who want to write deeply and extensively about the Path, Life, and the universe, but starting with simplicity is the best idea, in my opinion.