"Only A Sith Deals In Absolutes."

"Only a Sith deals in absolutes."

"I can’t stand moral absolutism. You know, there’s always that guy who wants to point out that Martin Luther King cheated on his wife— as if he obviously couldn’t have been a great person if he did something like that. Or someone will bring out an inspirational quote, and get you to agree, and then inform you that Hitler said it. As if a good thought couldn’t come from Hitler. Moral absolutism keeps us from learning from the past. It’s easy to say: ‘Hitler was a demon. Nazis were all bad seeds.’ That’s simple. It’s much harder to say: ‘Is that humanity? Is that me?’"

Hello, I have been looking into Daoism as a faith. I was wondering if you think it would be against Daoist belief to be Transgender or Gay?

As I have written about before, I don't think it's necessary to consider Daoism as a religion, per se; you could think of it more like a collection of ideas to set yourself more at ease with the world around you. Therefore, it's not as if there are any strict adherents or practices that one must follow in order to be considered a "good" Daoist; you are free to live your life however you choose to live it.

That said, I have also previously written about the need for discernment in our lives when it comes to following our "gut feelings." By checking ourselves before we act on our choices, we can save ourselves a great deal of trouble down the road. I believe a great deal of Daoism's power comes from accepting yourself as you are, which means avoiding unnecessary labels or practices to change yourself. You are you, period. There should be no need to alter one's body in order to more cleanly fit into someone else's categories; if we want to change ourselves it needs to be for ourselves and on our own terms.

I suppose in practice it might seem like the same thing, but clarifying one's own motivation is an important step to figuring out our own identity. In short, there is nothing wrong with being Trans or Gay, but spend lots of time defining yourself before adhering to someone else's labels.

Fear is your best friend or your worst enemy. It’s like fire. If you can control it, it can cook for you; it can heat your house. If you can’t control it, it will burn everything around you and destroy you. If you can control your fear, it makes you more alert, like a deer coming across the lawn.

Mike Tyson (via mmaquotes)

Daoism in practice.

How often do you meditate and what recommendations would you give to someone trying to make mediation a daily habit?

I find that there are three elements to beginning a meditation practice. 

They are: the benefits, the resolve, and the practice. 

The Benefits

Before beginning a meditation practice, it can be helpful to take a moment to recognize the benefits the come from meditation. This in turn will help to generate an urge to meditate. 

Meditation:

Helps you to calm down.

We live with more restlessness than we realize. 

This restlessness is the source of many problems for us. 

A feeling of numbness or emptiness that needs filling, a sense of being separate from our sources of happiness, and a general background of anxiety. 

Aids in emotional balancing.

We experience a range of emotions in daily life. Some are wonderful and others are traumatic. 

The experiences are not the problem but rather the traces they leave in our mind and body. 

Meditation helps you to find balance with the past, openness in the present, and readiness for the future. 

Has numerous physiological benefits.

Meditation helps with insomnia, depression, PTSD, irritable bowl syndrome, asthma, chronic pain, and many other dysfunctions. 

It’s free!

Nuff said. 

The Resolve

This aspect is a bit more philosophical. We know of many things that would be good for us–eating better, exercising, doing our homework, etc. Yet that doesn’t always mean we will actually do those things. 

It is useful to contemplate how meditation is a privilege. 

Humans are uniquely positioned to meditate. 

Most if not all animals are locked in a cycle for survival. 

Seek food and eat. 

Don’t get eaten. 

Reproduce. 

Few creatures can actually take time away from their physical needs and be able to sit and go inward to experience their full consciousness. 

Not all humans can meditate. 

Some humans suffer from severe mental disability. 

Some humans are fighting for their survival every day.

Some humans have never heard of meditation.

Acknowledge your good (enough) health and your opportunity take up a timeless practice that has existed in various forms for thousands of years. 

The Practice

Now that you’ve gotten yourself motivated to make meditation part of your life, it is time to actually hammer out the details. 

Pick a time of day that best suits your schedule consistently. 

Do you have time in the morning to sit for a meditation? When would be best?

When you first wake up? Before or after breakfast? Before or after you shower? Think about what works for you. 

Or do you have more time in the evening after your day is done?

Before or after dinner? Before or after you brush your teeth?

The trick is to examine your daily habits and see where meditation would most readily fit in. 

Pick a single meditation technique and stick with that technique for at least a month. 

I have written a lot about meditation here. 

There are many kinds of meditation. Pick whatever kind you feel drawn to and give it a good few weeks of daily practice before coming to a decision about whether or not it is for you. 

Let go of expectations. 

This is the hard part. 

Meditation does more for you than you realize. If you just focus on what you expect, you may overlook the unexpected ways meditation will help you. 

Meditation may not feel good right away. 

You may experience intense sadness, anger, fear, or any other emotions. 

Be persistent anyway. 

Stay motivated. 

Reading spiritual books help. 

Anything by Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti, Pema Chodron, or Judith Blackstone will be useful.

My current schedule allows for me to meditate in the evenings. I come home from the library after studying. Before I do anything, I sit in my reading chair. First I just breathe and allow myself to be present. I recognize my current life situation and how it is temporary. I appreciate the space of my room and that I have this time to myself. 

Sometimes I may do a little mantra meditation to start off. Then I sit in silence, eyes closed, and just be. If thoughts or feelings come, I don’t let them pull me into further trains of thought and feeling. I keep my attention focused on the meditation. And that’s it. 

I’ll usually do this for twenty minutes or so and then get up to fix myself some dinner. 

Namaste :) I hope this helps.