Theodore: If You Bite It And You Die, Its Poisonous. If It Bites You And You Die, Its Venomous.

Theodore: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Y/N: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Draco: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Y/N, learn to listen.

Pansy: What if it bites itself and I die?

Mattheo: That’s voodoo.

Blaise: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Pansy: That’s correlation, not causation.

Mattheo: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Y/N: That’s kinky.

Theodore: Oh my God.

I've found the incorrect quotes generator and I'm hooked, lol.

Did you know all this? Because certainly I didn't!!

Hate to be that person, but WW3 trend on TikTok is not funny at all, especially your stupid POVs. Because no, Jessica from Chicago, you won’t have to hide in the basement to avoid being nuked and no, Kyle from LA, you won’t get drafted to the front lines. 

You again missed the whole point and managed to make this situation all about yourself, so I’m going to assure your stupid ass - this war is not going to affect you in any way, but you know who it’s going to affect? Actual people from Ukraine, who are going to lose their lives and be displaced from their homes, just like for the past 8 years. 

So congratulations on your stupidity, because it’s not about “I need a way to cope 🥺🥺🥺”, it’s about you celebrating and making fun of other people’s death.

#Life imitates art

Euphoria 2.08 / 94th Annual Academy Awards

Bonus:

"the fuck is happening in ukraine??" for the ignorant [23feb22]

THIS IS NOT EXHAUSTIVE. I have left out happenings. As I typed this more movement was reported. This is happening NOW.

Here is a map of Ukrainian oblasts (regions)

Direct your eyeballs to the eastern (that's on the right of the map) oblasts of Donetsk and Luhansk. These two oblasts make up the Donets Coal Basin, or Donbas region, of Ukraine. coal coal coal.

Hold them in your mind.

On this map above you can see an outline of the Russian separatist-controlled area of Eastern Ukraine. Please note that the Russian separatist-controlled area is not analogous to the oblasts of Donetsk and Luhansk. When on 21 February 2022 Putin declared recognition of the Donetsk People's Republic (DNR) and Luhansk People's Republic (LNR) as independent, we did not know if he meant just those cities and the surrounding Russian separatist-controlled areas OR the entirety of the oblasts. Where these borders are is incredibly important because Putin will use any excuse to declare a Ukrainian provocation. This ambiguity is to his advantage. [This is besides the fact that Putin has no fucking right to declare any of this land independent, or take any of it for Russia in the coming days.]

The Russian separatists, of course, claim the entirety of the oblasts, and Putin recognizes those claims. Russia has come to the "aid" of the separatists to defend against Ukrainian "aggression."

Tonight (23 February 2022), President Zelenskyy of Ukraine tried to speak to Putin on the phone, but was rebuffed. He gave a brief update to his people in Ukrainian, and then a long speech to the Russian people in Russian. Below is text of a translation of that speech from Max Seddon on twitter [thread starts here, good follow]:

We are divided by a shared border of more than 2,000 kilometers. Almost 200,000 of your troops and thousands of military vehicles are standing alongside it. Your leadership has ordered them to move forward, onto another country's territory. This step could be the start of a big war on the European continent. The whole world is talking about what could happen any day now. Any provocation. Any flare-up – one that could burn everything.

They're telling you that this flame will liberate the people of Ukraine, but the Ukrainian people are free. They remember their past and are building their future. Ukraine on your TV news and the real Ukraine are two totally different countries. Ours is real.

There is more, click above link to read.

Russia is going to invade Ukraine, and not just the Russian separatist-controlled regions that were recently declared independent republics by Putin. This is colonization. Ukraine has a rich history and culture separate from Russia (its history and culture is MUCH OLDER than that of Russia, even). Putin denies this and claims that Ukraine is Russian. This is false and ahistorical.

(But why are there so many Russian-speakers in Donetsk and Luhansk? Well perhaps because the Soviets committed genocide in the 1930s and purposely starved millions of Ukrainians so that ethnic Russians could move onto their land. Search "Holodomor" if this is new information to you.)

The UN Security Council has called an emergency meeting for 9:30pm EST (I'm posting this at 7:22 PM EST)

The mayor of Kyiv, Vitaly Klitschko, has declared an emergency.

Airports are closed in Eastern Ukraine.

HEAR ME OUT GUYS 😩

"Give yourself to me darling" he whispered in her ear