Death Puns And Assassins (James Moriarty X Reader)

Death Puns and Assassins (James Moriarty x Reader)

James Moriarty smiled.

One would think that it wasn’t a big deal. But, his genuine smiles (not his trademark smirks) were as rare as the instances where Sherlock was, in fact, incorrect regarding his deductions.

His smiles meant one of two things: Either Sherlock had fallen into one of his elaborate mind games or schemes, or Moriarty had just received a text from (y/n).

No one knows when these texts began. (Y/n) was hired as one of Moriarty’s assassins ages ago, and many agree that the texts became a ritual presumably from the first hit.

It goes something like this: Moriarty sends a  name, place, and time. And hour later, a text chime announces a confirmation that everything went well. The part that caused him to smile, though, was the strange method (y/n) used when providing evidence that the deed was done.

(Y/n)’s confirmation text only consisted of two things: A gruesome selfie with the corpse, and a cringe-worthy pun describing the death.

Tonight’s text was a prime example; (y/n) was posed with their arm around the body of a man who had (poorly) attempted to betray Moriarty. Now, the man was turning cold and had his eyes glassing over. And the cause of death? A couple dozen nails hammered into his skull. The hammer (y/n) had used was still bloody, and lying in the back of the photo.

The attached comment had only a simple phrase. “Nailed it.”

Why did Moriarty, the Napoleon of crime, find these stupid puns and photos amusing? No one has figured it out yet. But everyone agrees on one thing.

His smile is a beautiful, maddening thing. Even if it’s only shown because of death puns and assassins.

◣THE CAPTIVE MASTERLIST◥

summary: you are a resistance pilot and after a mission goes wrong, you are held captive by the first order. the general of the first order knows your potential and brings you to his side.

word count: 10115

warnings: angsty, fluffy, nothing too intense

[PART 1]  [PART 2]  [PART 3]  [PART 4]  [PART 5]  [PART 6]  [PART 7]

updated: 10.21.19

Jim’s Playlist

Stayin Alive: Bee gees

I Want to Break Free: Queen

Hungry Like the Wolf: Duran Duran

Sweet Escape: Gwen Stefani 

I’m too Sexy: Right Said Fred

Bad to the Bone: George Thorogood

We are the Champions: Queen

(I can’t get no) Satisfaction: The Rolling Stones

Ring of Fire: Johnny Cash

Money, Money, Money: Abba

One Way or Another: Blondie

The Final Countdown: Europe

I Will Survive: Gloria Gaynor

Take on me: A-Ha

Wake Me Up Before You Go: Wham!

Walking on Sunshine: Katarina & the Waves

Jailhouse Rock: Elvis Presley

Basket Case: Green Day

Don’t you (Forget About Me): Simple Minds

U Can’t Touch This: MC Hammer

Gives you Hell: All-American Rejects

Night Fever: Bee gees

Smooth Criminal: Michael Jackson

Come and Play. Kisses JM.

should I make playlists for the other characters?

another absolutely fantastic trope is when a scifi/fantasy character calls the oblivious object of their affections a term of endearment in their fictional first language during an emotional moment which they refuse to translate, and their love interest assumes due to the unresolved sexual tension fuelled rivalry aspect of their relationship that it's an insult, only to have their world absolutely rocked to its core when they finally manage to get a translation and realize that the other person has been pining for them the entire goddamn time

Attention (or lack thereof)

pairing: general armitage hux x fem!reader

summary: hux won’t pay attention to you so you come up with some… unconventional methods to get what you want from him. this is fluff, just fluff.

word count: 1.4k words

Keep reading