Deadporg - Deadporg

This film is so incredible and enormously slept on.

Dakan (Destiny | Mohamed Camara | 1997)

I hate working in an arthouse movie theater. What do you mean you snuck a bottle of wine into the Paul Mescal, Andrew Scott supernatural gay romance movie? 🤦🏾‍♂️

2023 was the lowest I’d ever been and hopefully the lowest I’ll ever be. I swear my 2023 was filled with stress, sadness, self-doubt. Like I was lowkey having an episode and felt so alone throughout the entire year. I had a depressive episode that started in October/November of 2022 and that shit lasted until maybe last month? Like damn, before that, my longest uninterrupted depressive episode was probably 6 months. I had such negative and spiteful energy towards myself and was always so exhausted. I just wanted to do everything, but at the same time I wanted to do absolutely nothing. I gained probably like 30 pounds, lost 15, then gained 20 throughout the duration of this episode. I hate to be vain, but I feel like my weight has a lot to do with my mental health. I feel like when I was at my thinnest, I was the most happy. Not solely because I was in a thinner body, and didn’t hold the shame of being fat, but because I had finally stopped binge eating. Eating is definitely my biggest coping mechanism. I have been eating like crazy lately and just hoarding food, hoping that it’ll make me feel better and for a moment, it does. Then reality sets in and I realize I’ve consumed about 5000 calories in one day.

But whatever, I’m trying to get better, not just for vanity reasons, but to find healthier ways to cope with depression.

Bernard Shaw - The Adventures of The Black Girl in Her Search for God - Constable & Company Limited - 1932 (designed and engraved by John Farleigh)

I love this color palette

LES SAIGNANTES // THE BLOODETTES (2005) dir. JEAN- PIERRE BEKOLO