Oh I Forgot I Never Posted Thisguess I Was Saving It But Eh I Made It 10 Days Ago

oh i forgot i never posted this guess i was saving it but eh i made it 10 days ago

once again!! around the anniversary of me!! wanting to make an askblog for an au i made. i should really rewrite the story of this thing but at the same time it's like. in amber yknow. anyway it's pretty!!! and i actually know how to draw different things now so it's better!!! yippee!

Original

for the love of god, write all the self-indulgent scenes you want.  be utterly  shameless about including every last fantasy.  i know everyone likes to share quotes and quips about how miserably hard writing is, but please please try thinking of it as a joyful act where you get to be a messy human who makes art rather than some pain filled quest for icy perfection.

redrawing an old piece of mine and it's like HO BOY it's all coming together...

doggy drawing skills from... tsp old man drawing skills from... tsp men drawing skills from... tsp side view skills from... tsp

yes, i am rising above and beyond from these lessons that i. i gained from a single fandom- how did i improve that much- and i am using them to redraw an old piece of hlvrai fanart. but really good. an ultimatum, truly.

hlvrai thoughts on my brain. i feel like coomer and benrey have some very similar Fears. i think they both don’t want The Video Game to end. but as for why? well for both of them it’s different

looking at coomer, it’s clear in his fight scene that he wants to escape the game; that he’s terrified there’s nothing beyond black mesa. he needs his life to have meaning and is horrified when he perceives it has none, at least not compared to gordon.

benrey constantly tries to get the group to head back and asks them to stop shooting at him not NECESSARILY because he’s at the Horrible Whims of the Game’s Code or anything, but because going forward would be literally advancing the plot. which is further to The End.

i feel like coomer and benrey could very reasonably share the same belief- one that coomer expresses in his ending speech (“and now i imagine you’ll turn [the video game off]. move on with your life.) coomers view of The Player has become quite optimistic, but throughout the speech he’s still not so transparently begging The Player to take the science team with them and not leave them here. and so benrey could easily not want the final battle to come to a close because he too believes that after the game ends, the player will move on

but UNlike coomer, i don’t think benrey wants to escape. i think he LIKES the story of the video game. i just think he wants to keep it going FOREVER. like he says in act 4- “i just want to play games with people, man”. he clearly ENJOYS antagonizing gordon and being a security guard, it’s fun for him, so that’s why i could never buy the Reluctant Antagonist Benrey idea. he always says gordon needs to calm down too so clearly he doesn’t take much stuff very seriously, which could definitely include his own sentience as an ai

so yea. i think both coomer and benrey don’t want the story to end, but coomer wants to escape the story and benrey wants to embody the story

Preview of Sam Long’s story, drawn by the amazing Cynthia Yuan Cheng! (@cynthiaycheng, cynthiaycheng.com)

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