How Did An Assassin Miss A Entire Knife In His Back?!

How did an assassin miss a entire knife in his back?!

Tony: kid, you alright?

Peter: yeah, why are you asking? I’m right here with you playing minecraft.

Clint: yeah, Tony, stop being mother Hen.

Tony: fuck off, I feel like something is wrong. Look me in the eyes.

Peter: what? no?

Tony: Peter!

Peter: ahjak okay!

Tony, one second after looking at his kid: Friday, call Bruce, we’re heading towards Medbay!!

Client: you gotta be kidding? he’s completely fine!

Tony: ehh no, he has the “I was stabbed” look in his eyes.

Clint: no he’s not. that’s not a real thing.

Peter, bewildered: yeah, that’s not a real thi—

Friday: it appears to me that Mr. Parker-Stark jr. is losing his blood in exponential levels and he has some sharp object in his back.

Peter: the knife isn’t that sharp

Tony: PETER

I mean... spiders are cannibalistic

Steve: sooo, what do you do for a living?

Tony: Rogers, he is a kid, he doesn’t need-

Peter: i kill spiders

Clint: lol no you don't

Tony: kid, no, you don’t

Peter: have you ever seen one in the Tower?

Clint: well no..

Peter: then you’re welcome *sniffs and then sharply rises from his place, looks around and with closed eyes in the pose of a spider makes his way to the exit* sorry, duty calls. I smell spider in Rogers’ room.

Clint:

Clint: is he serious

Tony:

Tony: I can’t tell

Steve: I like you kid, you're gonna do great things

Peter: Thanks! I wanna be just like Mr. Stark when I'm older

Steve: Oh dear god no. No. Where are this child's parents?

Peter: Uh, they're dead-

Steve: IT'S ALREADY BEGUN

Cotton candy alien

Some more perfect beings

I like Iron Man cause he comes with lots of sound effects. Tony stark programmed all those beeps bloops and whirrs because love exists in the whoosh noises. No questions at this time thank you