I Did A Thing.

I did a thing.

"I like your shoelaces, Henry."

The world seemed to stop spinning on its axis. Everything crumbled all around them, leaving the planet to pieces, any and every building sorrounding them completely destroyed in their path.

Except nothing of the sorts actually happened, and Henry just looked up from the sketchpad he was doodling on, completely bewildered.

"WHAT."

Ralph couldn't take it anymore and just cackled.

Girlboy with a he/him pin on one sleeve and a she/her pin on the other. Two people sitting on either side of her aggressively correcting each other on his pronouns

NONONO WE CAN HEAR MIKE’S HEARTBEAT DURING THE QUARRY SCENE BUT IT STOPS AS SOON AS HE WALKS OFF THE CLIFF AND THEN THE MUSIC STOPS A BIT AFTER THE HEARTBEAT THEY WANTED US TO HEAR THE HEARTBEAT STOP SPECIFICALLY HE’S THE HEART I CANT DO THIS

It's different here. And I don't even have to stop and ask myself if it's a good different or a bad different. There's nothing good about it. I don't bike to school, Nancy drives me now. Lucas has basketball practice in the mornings, so he doesn’t meet us out front. I know that. I know he has practice, so I don't stand there like an idiot looking around for him. I still look for you. I still look for Jonathan's car, or your mom's.

I miss you. I miss you in the most pathetic, childish way possible. I miss Eleven, but it's different. Like I can live without her. Maybe that's wrong. Or maybe what's wrong is the way I can't even function without you.

Do you remember when we were thirteen, and my mom tried to make me give away a bunch of toys, because I kept getting in trouble at school? And I didn't pick out two boxes full like she said to, so when we were at school she did it for me. And she gave away Rory. And do you remember how I cried, Will? You and I walked into my room after school, and I saw that the toys were gone, so I started tearing shit apart looking for that stupid fucking toy, and it wasn't there. And I started crying. Thirteen years old and crying over a toy. I was so fucking embarrassed, but you told me it was okay, you said that you understood.

Every day I wake up, and I remember you're not here, and I feel that same panic. I feel like tearing apart my fucking room to look for you, because there's no way you're not here. I feel like biking over to your old house, pounding on the door. There's strangers there now.

I try not to let myself cry about it. Because you're not here to tell me not to be embarrassed about it. God, I don't want to think about what you'd say if you saw me crying over you. You'd be nice about it. But what would you think of me, really?

I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel about you. I don't feel the way a normal guy feels about his best friend. I don't even feel this way about El. And I can't think about it for too long because I know what it fucking means, and how fucking ironic is that? All the names Troy called you, your fucking dad and his bullshit, and all this time it was me who was the fucking freak. It would probably be a slap in the face, if you found out, huh? They should've been picking on me. I would've taken it, if it meant they left you alone.

I'm sorry. For everything. I really fucked it all up. I don't think I can fix it. I don't know if I should, if I feel this way. Maybe the distance is better. People grow apart. You're gonna be okay. Maybe you'll be better off. That's what matters. That's all that matters. I've never been okay in my fucking life, and I'm honestly done trying. It's exhausting. But you deserve it, Will. You deserve to be happy. I hope you are.

I'm never going to send this fucking letter. I never was. So, for what it's worth, I love you, Will. Sorry.

I need someone to yell at me to finally post my drawings and to draw Mike and Will as TV Girl album covers, seriously

No bc Ralph gets much kinder and soft, specially to Henry and Peter! It's so weird!

a friend and i were talking yesterday and we have decided that arobic al would definitely be the kind of guy who'd run in cold weather in shorts

because lets be real here it would be hilarious