I Know Its Been Said Before, But It Bears Repeating: A Big, Big Part Of Maintaining Your Confidence &

i know it’s been said before, but it bears repeating: a big, big part of maintaining your confidence & self esteem as a creator is fully embracing the concept of “you don’t have to be good like them.  you can be good like you.”

for example, i’m not someone who’s particularly good at coming up with complex, elaborate plots or incredibly unique ideas.  it’s just not how i choose to write.  and it would be easy for me to look at someone with an elaborate, super unique plot & decide that because i don’t write like that, i’m not a good writer.  after all, unique plots are good, and my writing lacks those, so my writing must not be good, right?  well, no, actually.  i just have different strengths, like taking a simple premise & digging super deep into its emotional depths.  that’s what i do well & it isn’t any better or worse than people who do elaborate world building or come up with really creative and unexpected plots.

your writing is never going to be all things to all people.  it just isn’t.  inevitably, you’ll have to make creative choices that favor certain aspects of writing over others.  there is truly no getting around that & it’s honestly a good thing, because it means you’ve developed your own style.  but you’ll always encounter other creators who posses strengths that you don’t.  it doesn’t mean one is better than the other or that your writing isn’t good enough. 

comparing yourself like that would be like taking a piece of pizza & a cupcake & going “oh no, that cupcake is so sweet & my pizza isn’t sweet at all.” or “gosh, the garlic crust on that pizza is delicious and my cupcake doesn’t have ANY garlic.”  obviously your pizza isn’t sweet.  obviously your cupcake doesn’t have garlic.  a food can’t have every single delicious flavor at once.  the cupcake is good like a cupcake.  the pizza is good like a pizza.  so you don’t have to be good like them.  you can be good like you.

This European Eagle Owl’s tippy taps

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Part One

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¿Por qué es tan largo que ni siquiera es bueno? 😭😭

You ran into your house, slamming the door shut behind you before peeking through the window, making sure no one else was there.

"Fuck!" you yelled, frustrated.

"We were doing what was best for you," you clenched your jaw, looking down as your dad stood in front of you.

"I thought you forgot about me or something... you left. No call or text. You just left," you could feel the tears in your eyes as you avoided eye contact with your family. You knew what they'd have to say about you crying.

"And now we're back. You're going to come with us this time, we moved to Oklahoma," you continued looking down before hearing your mom sigh.

"Look up, (Y/N)," she started.

"Look up," you heard your dad's voice echo over hers as you looked up.

"You're being weak, you have no reason to be upset," your dad raised his voice slightly.

You nodded your head, wiping away your tears.

"I can't leave. I've already-"

"You don't have much of a choice, (Y/N)," your mother interrupted.

"School already started. My friends are all-"

"You don't have any friends, (YN)."

You wrapped your hands around your head, trying to hold your tears in. It was only a matter of time before your parents found you again, and would force you to move with them.

You dropped your bag to the ground, before receiving yet another call from Derek Hale.

You declined the call once more, before throwing your phone at the wall, seeing it shatter. There was no one else who'd care enough to call you like that.

Your heart was racing in the back of your head as you sniffled softly, making your way to your room.

---

You continued to cut up a carrot, too distracted with your thoughts as you felt the blade cut through your finger as you screamed out.

You dropped the knife, your hands shaking as you saw blood rush out of your cut, before grabbing a washcloth.

You heard your doorbell ring as you tensed, unsure of who it would be.

You took a step forward, peeking out the window as your face dropped, seeing Derek standing at your door.

You walked away from your door, hearing him knock again.

"I can hear your heartbeat, I know you're in there," his voice was muffled as you scoffed, walking away from the door.

"(Y/N), please open the door," you continued to ignore him, making your way back to the stove, seeing your bloodstains on the knife.

You heard a sound of the door unlocking as you frowned, before seeing Derek opening the door.

"What the fuck?" you yelled at him.

"You've been avoiding my calls all week," he started.

"Why do you need to talk to me? So you can remind me how fucked up I am? Thanks, but I'm pretty sure I know," you let out a petty laugh, seeing his face drop in guilt.

Your eyes watered slightly as you closed the door behind him, walking to look for a bandage.

"I know what I said was bad, but-"

"There isn't any but. I want you to leave me alone. Don't you have anything better to do with your life? You have Cora, you have Jeniffer," he put his hand on your shoulder as you pushed away, stumbling back a few steps.

"You were right. Cora went back home, she's back in South America. Jeniffer was... she was bad," he said softly.

"I could've told you that to begin with," you saw him frown, as you shook your head.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

"Why do you want to know? So you can just take pity on me again?" he could hear the anger in your voice, letting out a shaky breath.

"Look, (Y/N)-"

"I don't want to hear your bullshit excuses. It's been weeks since I left and I don't need you coming back like this. Not now," he followed you as you walked to the front door, looking out the window once again.

"Just listen to me!" you heard him yell as you froze.

"I didn't mean what I said that night. I didn't want to hurt Isaac either. It was all Jeniffer. She messed with my mind," he apologized.

"It wasn't Jeniffer who threw that glass at Isaac. It wasn't Jeniffer who shamed me for the w-worst thing that ever happened to me," your voice wavered as you stumbled backward from Derek.

"You're the fucking alpha. You expect me to believe that some stupid teacher bitch from Beacon Hills High forced you to push us all away?" the tears in your eyes were evident, seeing a pained expression on Derek's face.

"I don't... I needed to apologize," he said softly.

"It doesn't matter. You were wrong anyways. My parents are back and now they're forcing me to leave with them," you laughed, seeing him give you a worried look.

"What?" he asked softly.

"I ran away when they tried to take me back and it's only a matter of minutes before they find me and drag me to fucking Oklahoma," he wrapped his arms around you tightly, before you cried softly.

You pulled off of him, before shaking your head.

"No. You don't just get to come back here like this and expect me to be okay with how you were acting," you cried.

"I don't expect you to be okay with it, (Y/N). Just please know that I'm sorry and that I didn't mean it, okay?" he said softly.

You sobbed loudly, feeling him hold you once more as you fell to your knees, while he stroked your back softly.

"I hate them so much," you cried.

"I know. Which is why you aren't gonna go with them, okay? You're staying right here, with me. They'll have to kill me before they can take you," you nodded, feeling him press his lips to your forehead, trying to calm you.

"I don't want to leave," you whispered.

"And you're not going to," you looked up at him, seeing tears forming in his eyes as he wiped your cheeks.

"Come on, come back to the loft. They have a less chance of looking there," Derek said softly.

You nodded softly before he helped you up. He held you tightly, switching off the lights before the two of you walked out of the house.

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How I deal with feelings..

Ch😅