Must Love Dogs. And Tea.

Must love dogs. And tea.

When you make brownies, you make one big brownie and cut it into little brownies.

when i got home after the new years celebrations last night, i took off my boots and found this pin stuck in the bottom of one of them,, a good sign for the new year perhaps ? :-) 

Hey guys. Sooo we all know that I’m not consistent on here. But when I show up! You have to admit, that its good. Lol

So today I had a really good conversation within myself.

To paint a clear picture, I work over nights. Which is really important. I’ll be explained later on. So my work night starts at 20:30 hrs. And thats just prep time. I actually start work at 21:00. I’m a newly promoted person in charge. Im a (SUPERIOR!!!!)

In my profession. It takes a while to earn this status. Which at one point I had turn down. So… to make a bigger deal of my position. There’s tiers. 1-9 and I’m at 5. But when I started this security position, which is part time by the way. I entered at level 3. Which cave me a bit of an ego boost. I’ve been with this part time security organization for 7 years. I would have been a tier 6 but because I declined my position before I’m at tier 5. Which at the time. I have to say was very wise.

So from 21:00 until 05:00 hrs. My team and I are a presence. A deterrent as you will. Most of us professional and proficient. While others are clearly here to cash the checks and buy a house.

At 05:00hrs. I head home. By which I go to through public transit. The 4 or 3 train to Brooklyn. YEA!!! Brooklyn. A part of New York I’m never really in. Or care to be in. Its a part of New York that feels as if its just segregated. And there’s just no need to be apart of. I mean they are the part of the city that get hit with the storms first. Thus! Slowing it down over the rest of the city.

By the tome I get home its 06:00hrs. And I take a shower and brush my teeth. I have a personal belief that when you work in service. Helping demographics that are under privileged, there negative energy clings to you.

When I w home the bathroom is the first place I go. I undress myself and kick the clothes in a corner. And get in the tub. I wash with soap thats been infused with green tea sage and one other banisher. And once I’m wet I wash my face and brush my teeth in the shower. Because why not! Once I get dressed I don’t see the point. While tired, doing these grooming steps I could have do e while in the shower.

After doing those tedious things. I begin to chant to my spirits and call them to help me remove the energy I picked up. And I continue to do this procedure until I feel clean and almost see the negative energy in the suds going down the drain.

Once I finish, I get out the tub and immediately from the back I stand and spray in the direction of the drain with bleach. After that I leave the bathroom. Prep some tea and take multivitamins capsules. Head back into the bathroom and run the shower on cold. Until the bleach is gone.

This is all the things I do before I head to bed. Once I jump in my sweet cradle of rest. I knock out for a few hours. By this time its 08:00. Then I typically sleep for 7 hours. And I should be awake at 14:00hrs. And procrastinate for an hour. Then I go the gym and hype myself up to be a body builder. To only almost die from too much pre-workout. Lol.

Yes this is true it happens a little too often for my liking. But after going to the gym at 1600 i head back to house to shower again and do this routine all over again.

Sounds like a lot right! Well… it is. Usually my job allows me to be in a hotel. “Great right” but! There are stipulations to these. Such as distance and how long it takes you to get to work. Unfortunately, for me I don’t quality. It takes me only (30/1.45) min from new lots to 42nd street. And I’m less than 30 miles. Soooo…….. yup..!… I don’t qualify

Honestly, its actually a good thing that I’m not in a hotel because they reserve the right to check your room. And you cannot have people over which sucks because I would have slutted it up

So the whole point of this rant is to give you insight into my day! Im 3 weeks in and to myself, walking home from the gym I had to express to myself out loud. I’m……. Not……… happy!!!!

Recently I had my own very modern version of eat pray love. Where I went to Africa on the east cost. And I with a very well established team help liberate this 3rd world group of people. We pretty my educated them on various methods of self preservation. My hand in it was cooking and giving my love and life into the food. They were eating.

There! I learned I wasn’t happy either. But there I had time to burn. Burn in the sense I was working and getting paid very well and!!! And! I had tome to think! All of my basic needs were met and I truly was able to deeply self reflect.

My reflection told me I wasted time and parts of my life on things that don’t even belong to me. Which is the hate I had for my parents. The anger I had towards people who intentionally did me wrong.

So here! I caught myself falling back into the same behavior.

I’m not happy.

So! I might have to quit for the sake of my mental and emotional health. I’m not doing what feeds my soul. Which is art! Sex and poetry.

I love this.

A yellow kind of day, no thanks to the wildfires.