Being On Tumblr Is Just So Cozy... You Know What I Mean? Instagram And Twitter Are All Flashy And Loud

being on tumblr is just so cozy... you know what i mean? instagram and twitter are all flashy and loud but tumblr is as cozy as my bedroom with scented candles on a cold November night

Dear Kim Jonghyun,

It's been 3 years and I've grown up well. Your voice has been guiding me throughout this time and this date just serves as the reminder of the most hurtful loss that my heart has to feel every time I hear your voice or a SHINee song. Your voice completed the group and now somehow it feels like a vital part of the song is missing. But enough of my lament, you've been my moon in my darkest nights and you still are. The difference is that now you're actually close to the moon than to me. But it's ok, although I miss you a lot, I still know that you deserve rest after working so long, so hard and so well.

You did well my dear Jonghyun-ah.

You shine so bright and so steady that all my darkness was drained away. Rest well with the angels, and be happy. I'll see you in our next lives. I promise to live happy and to make you proud. When we meet, I'll tell you my adventures and you tell me yours.

I'm waiting for our spring to come...

Loving and missing you,

A SHAWOL.

To the Boy who stole the moon and turned it blue. 

1,096 days have passed since we bid our tearful goodbyes.   26 304 hours have passed since the longing for something that never was ours began.   1 578 240 minutes have passed since You took over the Moon, tinting it blue with your soul and smile. 

To the Boy, I never met, yet cherished more than anything else in this world.

  There are days when I miss You horribly, and there days when I smile while thinking about You.  Some days are filled with my tears, some with laughter. I still have the sleepless nights when I look out through my window to catch the glimpse of You in the starry sky, hoping for You to reach out and reassure me that everything will be alright. 

To the Boy who molded me into the person, I am today. 

Thank you for your smile. For your voice. For your oversized sweaters and hoodies. For the cheering up when it was needed. For the fluffy pink hair. For the bond, we had despite not knowing each other. For grabbing me and pulling out from the darkness. 

To the Boy who was warmer than the warmest spring day. 

‘You have to be happy even without me.’ You said that one time and it slowly becoming true. It’s still tough, painful, and slow, but it’s getting easier with every day. I will become happy one day because I know it’s what you would love to see. 

To the Boy who once was my everything.  

I miss you. I miss you so damn much. We all miss you so much that it’s hard to put this in words. 

To Kim Jonghyun, The Commander Of The Moon. 

Thank you and, I promise, that I will see you one day with a warm smile.

I love you.

ARMY ARE CANCELLED???

At this point the fandom that no one could bring down and that everyone is afraid to face today is going to destroy its own self. And NO this is no exaggeration and I didn’t write this to be dramatic but because I have been sitting quiet for a moment looking at the situation go full downhill and couldn’t stand sitting there being hopeful and positive about something so sad and poisonous. I am talking about the cancel culture ARMY edition. So let’s have THE talk. Shall we?

Let me get this clear first, I am totally fine with correcting people’s misbehavior. If someone is doing wrong, it’s fine to point it out. I did make some mistakes myself and its people who helped me learn. Please remember that we come from different countries and cultures and all we need is some better understanding of some topics to be better citizens of the world. BUT this is no more about correcting something bad but indeed having an ego boost because you are part of the “good side” and that you are fighting “evil”. This is no freaking comic, most people are not angels nor devils, they are simply humans. Of course if I say “humans are imperfect beings that commit mistakes too” you will laugh at me ‘cause this is the #1 excuse anyone uses when they f##k up. Yet, it’s true. We should ask each other to be better but cancel culture is not about that. It’s about hating on someone forever without caring if they became a better person or not. You just hate them and feel good about it because in your head “Oh, I would have never done that.” but did anyone ask “did they ever do that again?” It’s hard for people to change, but people do change. If you have good intentions, you will realize your misbehavior, correct it and try to move on. However, what if the people who asked you to correct it will label you as that villain no matter what. You can’t rebound, you can’t move on and you can’t even be a better version of yourself because everyone is addressing you as if you are stillyour old self. 

Now what is cancel culture 2.0. It’s what ARMYs been doing. Cancelling each other for the lamest, stupidest, most miserable things. I saw earlier someone got cancelled for calling Hoseok a baby. Really ARMY? Someone even got cancelled over ‘CAKE’??? That cake btw was only sold in Korea and Korean ARMYs HATED it and called the company lazy for using BTS’ name for such lame design as they compared it to their other collabs. 

Like, I am a veteran ARMY and we called Jungkook a fetus once and everyone laughed about it. Even BTS didn’t take themselves so seriously. They posted the weirdest content on Twitter and everywhere. We even had this quote “No one disses BTS like BTS.” or “ARMY will not let anyone diss BTS because they do it themselves” (as we used to make memes and such) So? What is this? What is this childish and overly sensitive mind we have today? BTS do not even take themselves seriously nor ARMYs but why … are you all acting so firm suddenly? We are called ARMY not the POLICE.

But the reasons above are not the only ones that are making me feel desperate and mad to write this. I post content to share smiles but right now I might beat someone’s butt if they don’t behave (you are invited to cancel me over this joke. It will just prove my point). Seriously, we are losing BIG accounts in our fandom because of this. And some will just say “It’s ok our fandom is big anyways.” Sadly, this is not a good thing. Running any type of account require some type of experience the person builds in sometime YEARS, it also needs time, the person will give up sleep and free time just for this group they love and this fandom they wish to help. Yet, they will get cancelled over something so little and they will see their loyalty be questioned over this? A voting account a chart account, a update account, a giffing account, an art account and so on .. none of these can be done in a matter of seconds. YOU, consuming the info, yes, it takes you seconds. To make anything though, takes HOURS. A simple gifset that you enjoyed but just scrolled through in 36 seconds might have taken over 3600 seconds to make. Also, these big account are a big shield against haters. (I have been in the fandom since the early days and knew Kpop even before that but there are things I only learned after I started this blog) They also help when we want to spread an info or regroup for something. And maybe the fandom will be unbeatable for now but on the long run … we might turn into history and for the present, it won’t be that fun anymore.

If we are an ARMY, we are now losing our generals. How will you know where to go, what to do, when to meet even without the people that keep everything organized, updated but also fun? This is messed up. Let’s use better words towards each other. Be kinder. More understanding. More forgiving. More loving. Isn’t that what BTS stand for? Then what are we doing? 

We said WE gonna be in this BTS sh*t for life, didn’t we? So unless you wanna be in it alone, behave. Understand? 

Reminder that this is not meant to say that all ARMYs behave that way and is addressed to the ones who do. This is NOT to scold everyone but to make our fandom as a whole aware of this and remind that we should be spreading love not hate. 

So I decided to look up what songs are turning 10 this year and I'm very *dabs* old and upset

Even now Knowing death is quickly closing in My thoughts leave the gods And is drawn to her in awe. What can I do? My thought is obsessed: She is my love! Most beloved! She is mine!

Even now, I painfully recall her eyes Trembling like a frightened deer’s, When she heard my sentence announced Her quivering voice Tears falling from her eyes Her face bowed by her heavy grief.

— Caurapañcāśikā (The Love Thief), Bilhana