I Love Making People Who Already Hate Me Hate Me More

I love making people who already hate me hate me more

"can you tell the difference between a good guy and a bad guy?" Lila @ Five?

"There is no difference." Growing up with the forced mentality of the "hero" gave Five perspective on the world once he was forced to kill to get his way back. He wouldn't call the Commission "villains" exactly, no more than any other pencil pushing bureaucrat, but calling them "good guys" definitely didn't feel right either.

"Good and bad is already subjective, but when you start applying it to people? It gets messy. What happens when a 'good guy' does something bad? Does that instantly make him a 'bad guy'? What if what he did was good in his mind? If the world thinks him a 'bad guy' but he knows himself to be 'good', then which side matters?" Five shrugged, pressing his lips together in a nonchalant smile, "The lines are blurred." Not unlike a man killing people throughout history just so he could make it back to save his family and the entire world from destruction.

Postcard illustration from 2019

The feminine urge to become an ethereal being not bound by the rules of this world

random sentence starters from the walking dead (part 4)

if you wanna go fast, go alone. if you wanna go far, go together. 

people with nothing to hide don’t usually feel the need to say so.

all this time with the walkers, you forget what people do.

save the bullets for the real threat.

can’t do things without people anymore.

a bad person, someone truly evil, they’re light as a feather. they don’t feel a thing.

people kill people. they still have names.

being afraid is whats kept us breathing.

nobody ever mentioned how boring the end of the world was going to be.

we can still come back. we’re not too far gone. we can come back. we all could change.

you gotta save who you are, not who you were.

i know people. they’re just assholes i stay alive with.

you’re the butcher or you’re the cattle.

have you ever been covered in so much blood that you didn’t know if it was yours or your friends’?

nobody is evil. they just decide to forget who they are.

you live because they don’t get to.

the world is trying to die. we’re supposed to just let it.

my family’s dead. that’s not home, it’s just where i live.

if you’re still standing, it’s always on someone else’s back.

they said that pain would be useful someday.

you said to kill them with kindness.

i tried fitting in. i wanted to be like you. 

i’m better here. i feel safe.

is there anything i can do? i’m kinda going crazy over here.

we’re all monsters now.

to injure an opponent is to injure yourself.

you play your cards right, maybe i’ll show you where we live. 

if we get caught on the wrong side of this herd, we’ll be here ‘til morning.

either your heart is beating or it isn’t. either your loved ones’ hearts are beating or they aren’t.

i know everything is upside down right now, but i wasn’t wrong about this.

we can’t show up empty handed. social graces.

when you stay soft, people die.

can you tell the difference between a good guy and a bad guy?

we have to make sure what’s left is worth what we lost.

it’s like this siren has been going off in my head, and i can’t stop it. 

i grew up on a farm. i know all about sheep and wolves.

being careful is staying here.

i didn’t try to kill them. they were in trouble, and i didn’t help. there’s a difference.

are we the good guys? we’re the villains of someone else’s story, a threat to their survival, so dangerous they threaten to wipe us all out. makes you wonder sometimes. 

we’ve all been acting like this is normal, holding our breath for months. this isn’t normal. 

are you insane? move.

boost me up.

you tried to kill my friends.

don’t be scared.

this place sure has gone to shit since the last time i was here.

tell my kids i didn’t die a coward.

you can’t lie for shit.

i want another chance, okay? i won’t do it again.

we have time. we can get that door open.

we don’t have enough ammo to clear them.

you go up there, you’re dead.

you don’t know anything about me.

i like rules. they bring order to the chaos.

it’s rusted shut.

they were scared, but they didn’t deserve to die that way, in the worst way imaginable.

i’ve been keeping my cool my whole life.

they were one of those people i thought would live forever.

people are dead. i was a part of that. i have to live with that.

i pulled you into this. you didn’t wanna fight. 

would you do this for someone else? would you do this for anyone?

why should we give a shit about people who don’t give a shit about themselves?

you can’t save anyone because you don’t care about anyone.

words are a lot easier to deal with than actions.

none of this is real, and you are somebody who isn’t afraid, okay?

living sounds good to me.

i should be able to handle walkers like that. i always have before.

i could die. i used to think that if it happened, it happened. 

i’m afraid, and that feeling isn’t going away.

we’re not as strong as we think we are.

i walk after my shifts. i’ve been doing it for a while. you’re the first one to notice.

why the shovel?

people died. we saw it. 

we’re not kids.

there’s still people out here. people we can still help.

this is bullshit. it should be dead.

you don’t want to be out here, so go home.

i never knew my way. 

you loved your family? then you know your way. it’s home.

you still have family, and you still have a home.

what’s stupid is you being out there when you don’t have to be.

i just want to turn my brain off for a moment.

do you want to tell me about your day?

we’re trying to build something. all of us.

we need food. we came all this way, we’re gonna get it.

circumstances change. we’re doing well now.

they just got a good story. boogeyman, he ain’t shit.

confrontation’s never been something we have trouble with. 

forgiveness takes more strength than anger.

it’s going to be a fight.

we have to come for them before they come for us.

where there’s life, there’s possibility.

we’re not trapped in this.

you can do things that just terrify me.

it’s just, i love you. i just wanted to say it. you don’t have to say it back.

we’re two assholes who do whatever we have to do to keep going.

Time travel is a funny thing. Five was perfectly capable of moving through time, his power certainly allowed it, but there was so much more to it than he had originally thought so long ago. It's easy to jump forward at random, but trying to jump back? And to a specific point? Even more difficult. The calculations had to be perfect, exact down to the last decimal. And this time, this time he was absolutely sure he had it right. The time and place were set, the jump should have been precise.

Yet, something went wrong. As usual.

He had made it to the academy, there was no doubting that fact. But, the place was empty. It didn't even seem like anyone had even been there, or if they had they certainly didn't spend any length of time there. Clearly, the rest of his siblings took whatever chance they could to get out of there. Five wasn't even completely sure he'd find them even still in the same city.

More pressing than the empty house was the fact that, as he moved around, he felt the difference the jump had on him. His once well tailored suit now hung off of him like it was 4 sizes too big. Looking at his hands and the rest of himself showed the truth. He went back in time - in every sense. "Shit," he exhales a sigh, "...no, this isn't important right now."

There was no time to waste. With a pop of his spatial abilities, he jumped up to his room... Surprised to find it was exactly how he had left it. Down to the last thing he had written on the little desk. There was something eerie about that fact, but Five didn't think it wise to dwell on that fact. Instead, he quickly changed into one of the old uniforms and made his way back out to leave.

Taking advantage of the silence, he peeked into the other rooms for any sign of where or how long the others had been gone. The bedrooms weren't helpful, of course. All of them looked the same as they had when they were kids, neat and untouched. Likewise we're the other rooms like the kitchen and sitting areas. Each room as unhelpful as the last. It wasn’t until he was passing by his father’s office that he found even anything of value. The children had never been allowed to enter the office... But, he didn’t see Reginald around anywhere, so, a quick peek wouldn’t hurt. On the desk was a single note with an address and the name “Benjamin” handwritten. 

“Ben...?” If it really was Ben, then maybe Five could get some real answers. Maybe he knew where all the others were and some way they could get everyone together again. There was little time to waste... But at least it seemed like doom wasn’t immediately upon them. Tucking the note into his pocket, he hurried out, jumping once more to the outside of the building at the address. Apartments or penthouses? Either way it seemed like he would need to be granted access. Five rang the bell and stepped back, looking up the scale of the building, checking it out. 

@bottledmoonlight​ / xxx