"I Want A Baby" BG3

"I want a baby" BG3

Gale:

Wyll:

Astarion:

Or

@queenjayrogue also suggested:

Halsin:

Lae'zel:

Or

Shadowheart:

Karlach:

PART 4 Fangs

Astarion x werewolf!reader

Warnings: hurt/comfort, feelings, vampire things, werewolf things, jealousy, swearing, intimacy, anxiety

Sorry for the short parts

Previous part <-

Leaving suddenly felt saddening, lonely almost. You packed as you said and left, you didn’t see the vampire anywhere and your heart slumped. You were a little happier once you were back in your bed with quietness. It was too quiet though you found yourself dwelling in the fact that you were lonely. It’d never bothered you before, or maybe you ignored it, after everything that happened that night…

The gods had cursed you, some higher being truely wanted you to suffer. When your first shift happened you scared your parents and yourself. You were only young around 11 you believe. Your father was able to tackle you and chain you up during that night before you awoke sobbing. After that you being chained to the side of the house every full moon was ritual, your parents looked at you differently, sneered almost. Your mother hated it, or you, you didn’t know, too young to truely understand what they were fighting about. Your father stopped bringing you presents and stopped talking to you. Then they began feeding you less, giving you next to nothing, you barely washed and your worn the same clothes for weeks on end. One full moon it seemed the need to survive took over the beast, you’d broken the old chains and tore the door down, before your father could fight back you slaughtered him and then your mother. You were 17 when that happened. The day after you screamed and wailed before a numbness came over and you buried them. You cleaned the blood, fixed the door and closed off their room and broke the door handle. You kept your mothers garden going and bought some chickens from the closest village. Your beast had killed a few chickens before you built a secure place your beast couldn’t get into. The first time you changed after being on chains felt freeing. You ran through the woods and hunted and in the morning you found yourself lying on comfortable grass, the sun shining down on your face and a peaceful bliss filling you. The bliss passed though and you’d get rid of whatever the wolf ate from your stomach, then make yourself some herbal tea and sit on the bench at the front of your house. Then a stupid pale elf vampire showed up and suddenly you realised how alone you truely were.

You were tending to your garden when your ears suddenly picked up footsteps coming closer. You turned to the forest around you trying to pinpoint the footsteps before a group appeared. You froze slightly at their fighting equipment and the mage following them. You gulped feeling fear fill you as you saw a medallion in his hand, beaming softly with light. They spoke quietly amongst themselves before looking to you. You felt your stomach drop as the mage said ‘it’s here’ and they approached.

“Greetings” the lead said and you stood up.

“Hello” you said throat dry.

“I have some questions if that’s ok?” He said and you nodded wiping your hands on your pants.

“May I ask why you’re all alone out here?” He asked.

“This was my parents place” you said and he nodded.

“I only ask because there’s been rumours surrounding this place” you frowned slightly feeling sweat creep through your skin.

“What rumours?” You asked as his eyes hardened.

“They say there’s a beast in this woods, slaughtered whoever owned this house, though you seem quite well” he said studying you. You didn’t know how to answer as your mouth opened and closed.

“Y/n! Darling!” You jolted seeing Astarion approaching with a smile. You felt relief flood you as he sauntered over and gave you a hug. You blinked in surprise, but he quickly pulled back and stood by you.

“Whatever is going on here?” Astarion asked with a raised eyebrow.

“You know this woman?” The lead asked.

“Of course! We’ve known each other for years, since she could crawl and I learned how to punch” he chuckled lying straight through his pointy teeth, the lead didn’t seem to buy it.

“Why’re you here?” Astarion asked voice having a slight tone to it.

“We’ve been searching these woods for a beast” the lead said.

“A beast? Best check the caves” Astarion said.

“We did” another piped up unamused.

“Well if they aren’t there, then perhaps they flew away” Astarion chuckled.

“This beast cannot fly” the lead crossed his arms annoyed.

“Well then seems you have a problem” Astarion shrugged.

“My problem is you” the lead sneered.

“Now, now, let’s be civil” Astarion said. You felt your heart rate pick up, something going through your body and you looked to the mage seeing him muttering and gesturing. You were quick to push Astarion back, making him tumble as you felt yourself shift. The group of hunters readied their weapons easily and you began to fight with claws and teeth. You were fighting for your life, your home, but the swords slicing you were laced with poison, you weakened and ended on the ground, you managed to tear one out of the four, and critically injure one other. You heard a snarl though and suddenly Astarion was in a mist and appearing behind the mage, slicing his throat before killing the others. You’d shifted back after the mage died, you watched Astarion fight with precision and grace before there were four dead body’s in the ground and he was panting harshly, red eyes glowing a blaze. You whimpered at the pain in your side and his head snapped to yours. You grew worried then at the crazed look he had in his eyes. He stumbled a bit shaking his head, his eyes no longer glowing as he dropped his dagger and went to you.

“Oh dear” he muttered hand going to your side making you groan in pain. He suddenly scoped you up in his arms and carried you inside, lying you on your bed and going back out to the kitchen. You listened to him scrambling and clattering things. You groaned, tears in your eyes before they began to droop and your world went to black.

Astarion was in a panic, going through your herbs before he finally found the right ones and began moshing them together. He heard your heartbeat grow fainter and growled as he finished making the paste and rushed back into your room. You were out and he quickly began to work on your wounds, praying that your beast would heal you the rest of the way. He stared at you after he was finished his own panic seeping in, how in the hells did the hunters know about you? Hell he didn’t even know about you or any beasts in the woods, not even the town and drunken idiots did. He laid a blanket over you taking in your room, it’d seen better days, the things in here were childish. He sighed going to explore the rest of the house, a story was here, a long a terrible one. Everything was old and patched and the door to the far left had no handle and three claw marks. He went up to them, placing his finger tips on them feeling a thought flash through his mind of terror and fear. He flinched back frowning what was your story?

·˚ ༘ 💌 IMAGINE┊the boys thinking you’re the sweetest thing on this earth and can do no harm. namjoon has a few words to say about that.

TAGS — spit kink (mentioned), choking, reader gets (lightly) slapped, degradation, creampies, unprotected sex (duh)

WORD COUNT — 1.8 k

"Where's y/n?" Hoseok asks over the loud music as he takes a glass from the server offering everyone drinks.

Everyone's gathered for the pre-release party Hoseok's hosting. It's barely kicking off and the crowd is getting more and more wilder. Hoseok had gone to talk with his band mates when he noticed something off. You weren't there, and wherever Namjoon went you did too. It was strange.

"That's what I said." Seokjin pipes up as he takes a sip from his drink, "Is she coming later?"

"Nah." Namjoon checks his phone for any messages from you, "I left her at home because she wasn't feeling too good. Probably a stomach bug or something." He shrugs it off like nothing.

Hoseok makes a noise of agreement, "She probably been hanging out with Yoongi too much." He jokes softly, "Yoongi got a fever and couldn't make it either."

Namjoon's phone lights up and he excuses himself to take the call some place else where it isn't loud. "Hello? Baby?" He says as he ducks into the nearest hallway.

"Just calling to remind you to take it easy on the drinking. Oh and I sent a gift for Hoseok in the trunk of the car."

"I know, I know," he leans against the wall with a soft chuckle, "you feeling any better?" He smirks.

".... You're a jerk. Can't believe you," you laugh on the other side of the line, "you knew I was looking forward to Hobi's party."

Namjoon bursts out laughing as he looks behind him to see if anyone's in the hallway with him, "Nahh you were the one begging for more baby, you dug your own grave now lie in it." He lazily drawls out.

"Ugh whatever, have fun baby I'll see you when you come home. Stay safe."

"Alright, bye baby." Namjoon smiles as he hangs up and heads back. "Sorry, it was y/n. She sent a gift for you, it's in the trunk of the car you wanna come with?"

Hoseok smiles apologetically at Namjoon, "Yeah," he pats him on the shoulder and walks with the younger, "hope she feels better soon Joon."

"Nah she'll be okay Seok, she's bummed out she couldn't make it. She was looking forward to this for a week." Namjoon wraps a arm around Hoseok's shoulder as they walk out of the party together. "Told me to tell you she loves you."

"You ass," Hoseok laughs, "how the hell did you get so lucky with such a sweetheart like her? What am I doing wrong?"

Namjoon shrugs as he presses the button to the elevators, "You can start off with the shoes," he snickers, "have you been hanging out with Jungkook too much? Shit looks like you're getting ready to walk through snow or some shit."

"Fuck you." Hoseok laughs as he steps into the elevator, "They suit my outfit, you're just jealous."

"Yeah, pass on them stompers." Namjoon rolls his eyes and presses the garage.

Before the doors close Jungkook's tattooed hand comes into view as he steps in, panting like he just ran (most likely did) all the way there. Hoseok and Namjoon look at him crazy and shake their heads because that's Jungkook for you.

"I was alone," Jungkook says, "Min with his friend and Tae's talking to someone else too. Where are you guys going?"

"y/n sent a gift for me, it's in her car and Namjoon invited me to come get it with him." Hoseok says as he eyes Jungkook, "Don't drink too much if you're driving later." He warns.

They talk some more in the elevator and make their way into the garage where Namjoon parked the car. "Tell her I said thank you once again, I'll take something to your house later." Hoseok softly says as he watches Namjoon open the trunk.

"It's no big deal Hobi, you already know how she is." Namjoon smiles back and lets Hoseok look at his gift.

"I want a gift from y/n too," Jungkook whines as he stares at the big box with a black and white bow wrapping around it, " 's not fair. You get to have her all day let me hang out with her for a day."

Namjoon snorts, "What are you five?" He says as he shakes his head and leans back against the car. "Nobody, not even you Jungkook, can have my sweetheart."

Hoseok laughs, "Look at you all whipped and shit, you really lucked out with her. You got stuck with an angel." He teases as he opens his box, Jungkook cooing in amazement as he leans close to get a view at the present.

Namjoon chuckles to himself under his breath as he looks to the side, "Yeah, angel." He smirks.

+

"Mmm," your body shudders in delight when Namjoon bottoms out in one go.

You feel stuffed, your cunt is full of Namjoon's cock and slick dribbles down the sides and down your inner thighs. Namjoon has your thighs pinned back on your body as your knees bend and feet dangle in the air. He's watching the way his cock looks every time he bottoms out balls deep.

"You like that baby?" He mumbles in that deep voice of his, "Slutty pussy stuffed with my cock?" To emphasize his words he snaps his hips upward in a deep body roll that leaves your mouth watering.

You nod slowly, "Mm-hm," it comes out a little high-pitched as you reach down to stroke over your swollen clit, "can feel you so deep inside me baby.. want you to stuff me full of your cum."

Namjoon grunts softly and leans down to press gentle little kisses on your lips. "Yeah?" He whispers softly as he stares into your eyes, "What else baby? C'mon, talk to me."

You're a little shy when he stares at you like that but a sudden rush of boldness courses through you. "Sometimes–ahhn–I think about how it would feel like if you choked me," you softly admit as more moans poured from your lips, "wanna feel your big hands wrap around me and–mmm..!–squeeze." You arch your back when his cockhead brushes against your g-spot.

Namjoon's eyes darken at the words, never in a million years did he think a sweet thing like you would want him to do nasty things like this. He sets his hands on the curve of your hips and thrusts a little more forcefully, "Baby wants to get choked?" He licks his lips, "What else? Tell me everything your filthy little mind thinks of."

He fucks you faster, building rhythm as his thighs smack into your ass. "Call me your dirty slut, want you to tell me how filthy I am.." you whimper as your tits bounce in tandem with his thrusts, "spit in my mouth and call me your good girl."

Namjoon growls lowly, "Fuck.." he closes his eyes and shudders at the mere thought of fucking you like that.

You don't stop there, "Slap me Joonie, I'm all yours." You say as you pout a little and reach for his hand that is on your hip, "All yours.." you mumble and take his finger into your mouth as you suck on the digit.

He completely switches, forgetting he was just trying to hear you dirty talk. He yanks his hand away and grabs your chin roughly as he plows into you at a punishing pace, "Here I thought you were my sweet girl, turns out you’re nothing but a little whore who wants to be slapped around like one. Is that what you want baby? You want me to slap you around and spit on you like the useless cumdump you are?”

You cry out from the way his hips slap into yours, the pleasure hits you hard and it leaves you boneless on the bed. “Y..es..!”

“I can’t hear you.” Namjoon growls and lightly slaps your chin a couple times.

“Yes!” You whine and arch your back.

Namjoon suddenly pulls out as he flips you on to your front. He twists his hand in your hair and yanks it back with a strong grip. One that makes you ache pleasantly. “Lucky this pussy is so good to me, you’re nothing but a fleshlight to use. I have no need for you apart from that,” he says as he slips back and thrusts harshly. “wonder how people would react if they knew the world’s so called sweetheart liked it sloppy and nasty? I wouldn’t put it past me you if you wanted a whole audience to come and see the kind of person you are.”

He emphasizes “kind of person you are” with a set of hard thrusts that send you rocking front to back on his cock. “This what you wanted?” He rasps out.

You can’t answer, only garbled moans and whines escape your lips as you drool. “Open up,” he speaks up as he pushes two fingers past your lips.

You’re too fucked out to comprehend, eyes slipping shut as your eyes water. You choke around his fingers and reach up to grip his wrist as spit and drool runs down your chin. Muffled whimpers and moans fill the room along with sloppy slurping noises. Namjoon’s enjoying this a little too much.

“That’s right baby, get ‘em nice and wet for me.” He whispers as he rolls his hips. He’s not going to lie, this little power play you guys got going on is making his cock twitch with interest. He can feel his stomach coil in pleasure as he gets close to his orgasm.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.” Namjoon’s hips stutter and he presses deep against the curve of your soft plush ass.

His fingers slip out of your mouth and you gasp in relief. You clench tightly around his cock, causing him to cry out as his hands grip your waist tightly. “C-Cum… in me.” You whimper out and rock your hips back on to his.

Namjoon steadies you as he fucks into your sopping pussy a couple more times before he cums hard. His cock throbs deep inside of you, a long groan leaving his lips as he relaxes and loosens his hold on you. You reach below to rub your clit slowly and inch towards your sweet orgasm. It comes in slow waves, your body shudders as you close your eyes and quietly moan into the pillow.

You both stay like that for a bit, harsh panting and soft mumbles filling the room as the high comes down. You didn’t think he had it in him to be this degrading..

“Can’t walk.” You mumble.

“I can see that.” Namjoon grunts as he pats your ass, “Shit I gotta get ready.” He says when he sees the time on the clock. He knows for sure you aren’t going, by the looks of it you looked like you got the train ran on you.

the bond between a girl and their favorite fictional man is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object

── 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍'𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 : monkey d. luffy.

content: fem!reader. unprotected sεx, praise, implied virgin! luffy, inexperienced! reader, possessive behavior, a little manipulation at the beginning (reader to luffy). lots of cum. overstimulation. a mention of being used. confession at the end. note: my first one piece work! kinda nervous honestly v_v

— . ｡˚ ♡ you're hellbent on making the straw hats' captain yours.

thinking about how easy it is to just cry and sweet-talk your way into sitting on luffy's dick <3

he's already crushing on you to begin with. head over heels, almost. the moment he allowed you onto his ship, welcoming you into the crew so easily and ordering everyone to make you feel right at home — it had made his feelings obvious enough.

luffy has space for only two thoughts in that cute little head of his, and it just makes things easier for you to know that one of them is consisted of you. the other being to become the king of pirates, of course.

“how does it feel to be the captain's favourite?" zoro often remarks all sarcastic, and when you simply laugh and wave his comment away, luffy laughs right along with you. he's absolutely clueless.

to luffy, you look so innocent, and you've been so nice to him — you're just so sweet! helping him around, humouring all his jokes and stupid ideas, explaining things to him over and over with such patience when he just doesn't get it. and you even call him captain! you're just so lovely, and so pretty to look at on top of it<3

he trusts you so easily when you give him a pout, letting the tears glitter at your lashline as you ask him, “captain luffy, please?” you tell him you've never been touched like this before, that you need it, you need it so desperately — and you need it from him — to have his hands on you and to feel all full on him.

he agrees so easily, it's adorable. he's so giggly and giddy as he sits you on his lap up in his room at some nameless inn at the next island you stopped at. you'd fallen onto the rickety little couch backed up against the wall, too needy for eachother and too full of excitement to even make it to the bed.

he's so cute as he grits his teeth and groans, fingers digging into your hips as he slows the way you sink into his cock— unable to handle the way your warm, velvet walls wrap around him so well.

and once you're on his dick, it's even easier to get him addicted to having you on it.

“w—wait, wait wait wait—” his jaw hangs slack, allowing all his little gasps and whines and every little curse and word of praise that forms at his throat to freely pour out into your skin where he's latched his mouth onto.

he tries to kiss you, but he just can't focus on one thing enough when you feel so good around him, your thighs straddling his hips so well, your hands holding onto his shoulders so hard as you move up and down— so warm, so wet and so lovely, and suddenly not enough.

he needs more. he wants you to go faster. “more,” he whines, so good at telling you exactly what he wants. he's quite sure by now that you've done this before—and if you haven't, then you're damn good at it despite this being your first time— so he's unabashed. “more, faster. wanna cum.”

“mhm,” you sigh, giving him a heart-eyed look as you wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him sweetly and hugging him to you, giggling into the crook of his neck. “anything for my—ngh—my darling captain.”

at this point, he's in love with you.

he wraps his arms around you then, sliding his body lower in his seat, into a more comfortable position where he can set the pace himself. “careful,” he warns between clenched teeth when your hand slips from his shoulders.

letting you adjust, he grabs your waist, holding you tight in place — gives you a little “hang on, princess.” before he starts fucking up into you his own way.

it's slow at first, but you can feel the way the slap of his thighs against your ass gets harder with each thrust, how the slow, deep strokes get faster and shallower with each hit—and then he's got the tables turned on you, forcing you to grab at his nape, his hair, his arms, anything to retain your balance while he hits it as hard and deep as he likes.

“ah—ah, luffy!”

“captain luffy, princess.” he groans, voice barely there, grabbing your ass and giving it a squeeze, loving how pliable you are in his hands. his pace stutters every now and then, dick slipping out to smack at your clit before he's putting it back in with a groan.

and oh, you know he's likely never done this before, but god he's making you feel so good. he's so desperate, shamelessly using you like a toy to fuck into, eyes hazy and body tensing up with each thrust. “aaah, fuck, so good … so good, so goodsogoodsogood—”

and just like that, with one last thrust into you that goes in balls deep and throws stars into your eyes, he cums into you. he cums so hard.

hot, thick ropes of milky white fill you up and drool out of you, dripping onto luffy's thighs and staining the seat below, his cute little ah—ahh!’s of uncontrollable bliss drowning out the wet sounds your body makes as his cock gets milked all up by your messy cunt.

it's enough to make you cum along with him, your walls squeezing him so impossibly tight, fluttering warm and wet around his sensitive tip as he ruts into you, so sloppy now yet still insatiable.

he has all the stamina you knew he'd have and more, fucking you through your orgasm just the way you like. just the way you wanted him to.

sitting on luffy's dick is a task easy enough to do, but getting off proves to be difficult.

“fuuuuck,” he sighs, voice going just a bit pitchier than usual as he sinks into the seat, taking your hips in his hands and nudging you back and forth on his cock, using you to carry himself through his high. the way his base drags at your clit is electrifying, and you can't help but throw your head back and moan.

the post-orgasm high is delicious.

“hah, y’like that? mhm?” he smiles up at you, giddy and dazed. “felt so good, princess. you never done this before, huh?”

“mmm,” you mumble, slumping into him and feeling the way he drinks up your scent, not really confirming or denying his statement.

“hah,” he laughs, tightening his arms around you. “can only do it with me from now on though, mkay? you okay with that?”

after that fucking? hell yes. you're so happy, so full, so warm and so content right now, with his arms around you, his lips on your skin and his dick still throbbing inside you.

you'd known luffy would be good. it's why you'd worked your way to this moment in the first place — but you didn't think he'd be this fucking good.

he'd been a little shy and unsure of himself at first, but god, when he'd finally gotten the hang of it, when he'd finally snapped, he'd fucked you so good.

”heyy,” luffy taps your head gently. “you alright? can you hear me, hm?”

“mhm.” you respond, turning your head to rest your cheek on his shoulder, giving the lobe of his ear a little nibble and making him laugh. “i can hear you, captain.”

“asked you somethin'.” he kisses the side of your head and presses a palm to your back, rubbing the expanse of skin gently for you. oh, he's so in love. “only me, mkay?”

“mkay.” you agree, a giggle slipping from you when he gives you a dopey grin and wraps his arms tighter around you, pulling you right against his warm, sticky body and going right to sleep with you in his lap. the couch is old and creaky — but luffy makes a comfortable bed, you think. you can take it, for a night at least.

because after this, you think you might be in love with him, too. and either way, you definitely don't want to get off his dick just yet.

A Night of Song and Laughter (Part 11)

In this Astarion gets scolded by a dwarf (naturally he hates it) and Tav and Astarion have to run from the police, because ACAB, amirite? (All Cityguards Are Beautiful) Also they really can't seem to catch a break...

There can only be one song for this: Bad Reputation - Joan Jett

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You)

(Gif from here!)

“Are we being kicked out?”, you asked the dwarf flabbergasted. “How rude and after we played circus monkeys for you”, Astarion immediately added and clicked his tongue.

“Nay, lass, it is nah that”, the dwarf answered and doubling over again trying to get some air in his lungs. Astarion looked quizzically at him and raised a pale eyebrow. “It’s the cityguard, they’ve been asking ‘bout ye. They’re already swarming in downstairs. Don sent me to find ye, he’s tryna hold their captain off by the entrance.” You turned to Astarion with shock in your eyes – would this night never end with all its damn surprises? The vampire looked just as shocked as you.

“Now, stop starin’ at each other, get outta here, come on”, the dwarf hurried you and waved for you to follow. “Maybe we can sneak ye out while Don is talking to ‘em. Gods, I always knew it’d be a bad idea to have no back entrance.” You swallowed but quickly went to follow him. So did Astarion.

You let the dwarf go a few steps ahead so you could lean back to the vampire while walking along the corridor. “Do you think this is about you showing Miyena and Eodin… you know?”, you whispered to him. “I don’t know but I don’t intend to find out”, he answered dryly.

“Did they say why exactly they were looking for us?”, you raised your voice to ask Kirin while rushing behind him. The dwarf threw you a look over his shoulder that asked if you were an imbecile and he actually even stopped walking. “Yeah, lass, of course. I brewed ‘em a nice cuppa and then we braided each other’s beards while talking ‘bout it. NAY! Of course, they did not!” Kirin was outraged and helplessly threw his hands in the air: “I don’t know and I don’t know what ye might’ve done to deserve it and I don’t want to know. All I do know, is, that there’s gonna be trouble. If they find ye, there’s gonna be trouble and if they don’t find ye there will probably be even more. We aren’t exactly popular with the city officials so they gonna take up any excuse they can get to annoy us.” Your brows furrowed at that and Astarion asked: “Thankful as I am for it, but why exactly are you trying to sneak us out then if you could just hand us over?”

The dwarf had already reached for the handle of the door that would lead back to the gallery. He sighed defeatedly and turned around once more, putting his hands on his hips: “Come here, elf, if ye please.” Astarion surely didn’t look inclined to do anything of the sort. “I said come ‘ere, boy!”, Kirin said through gritted teeth and curled a finger at Astarion. That made the vampire cautiously step closer, on his face a mix of distrust and disgust. Kirin angrily waved him to bow down to which Astarion reacted only begrudgingly. When they were almost nose to nose, the dwarf spoke, spittle flying from his mouth and hitting Astarion who’s eye twitched murderously: “Let’s get one thing very clear, little elven lordling, or whatever ye might be. I am nah doing this for ye!“ He stuck one stubby finger towards Astarion’s face. “I’m only doing this for ye lassie here. Because. I. Don’t. Like. Ye. Pretty Boy!” H  He  

Astarion’s whole being screamed murder. You remembered a certain threat he had offered regarding the dwarf’s nicknames for him and quickly dragged him back towards you by a handful of his shirt. “Let’s just go, please”, you begged the both of them. The men stared at each other a moment longer then Kirin broke it off and waved you to go. The elf wiped his face off by rubbing his upper arm against his face, still wearing a disgusted facial expression. Then he looked at you as if asking for pity. “Knock it off, Astarion”, you simply told him and went after Kirin.

There still were plenty of people on the gallery and in the tavern as a whole. But you could quickly make out several men and women in silver armour prancing about the place. Most prominently at the entrance was the supposed captain of the group of guards in argument with Don. It wasn’t hard to make out that they were arguing quite intensely – you could hear their voices but not what they said. As the three of you were walking downstairs while trying to look inconspicuous you saw the captain wave an order to two of his men who immediately propped up their halberds towards Don’s face. The bouncer lifted his arms in defence.

You had arrived at the bottom of the stairs and Kirin motioned you to follow him, walking mostly along the walls of the big room. You tried to bypass the guests and tables and especially the guards that had spread out downstairs. While slowly but steadily passing through the crowd you noticed how Astarion swiftly picked up a cloak from behind someone’s seat and in one smooth movement threw it around his shoulders. He lifted the hood over his telltale white curls and then softly nudged you to walk between him and the wall so he could try and also hide you with the cloak.

As you came closer to the entrance you could finally make out the discussion going on between Don and the captain of the city guard. “Drop the act! Tell me where they are or watch me and my guards tear through every crevice of this shithole”, the captain just screamed at the bouncer. You were almost at the entrance through which people walked in and out of the establishment. Trying to not raise any suspicion you lowered your gaze and moved closer to Astarion – just a pair of lovers passing by.

“What damned act, I’ve been trying to tell...”, Don was just about to say as the guard crossed his arms over his armoured chest, obviously done with his opponents excuses. His eyes wandered while zoning out from the bouncer’s words… and that’s when he spotted you when you tried to sneak a cautious look. The captain’s head perked up as he saw you and he immediately raised a hand: “Hold, you there! With the red hair! I can see you you know.” You cursed under your breath and gritted your teeth. “Shit”, you heard Astarion say beside you. He stopped and immediately also dropped the hood trying to seem as honest and innocent as possible. Kirin disappeared into the crowd once more having failed his escort quest.

You opted to act surprised, looking at the guard in confused fashion and pointing a finger at yourself in a “Who? Me?” sort of way. “Yeah yeah, you, don’t look so surprised, you little dipshit. Are you Tav?” Astarion immediately hissed at him for calling you names and taking a step in front of you. But you grabbed him by his elbow and took a step forth yourself. “I don’t know, depends on who’s asking. For example, for someone calling me ‘little dipshit’ the name’s ‘kiss my goddamn arse’”, you said and smiled sickly-sweet at him. You knew that it was a terrible idea for you to piss of the city guard but you’ve just about had it for the night.

Astarion snickered softly beside you, earning him a more than displeased and with the wave of two fingers two halberds pointing at his face. The vampire rolled his eyes and mumbled something about the state of humour in this city.

The captain sauntered closer to you, you nervously already thought about how you could possibly get out of this situation. When the guard stood directly in front of you so that the silver of his breastplate shone in your face, he spoke down to you. You could see that he was human – and quite a lot taller than you, at least one head and broad-shouldered too. You also saw that only his chest was covered by plating.

“For the formalities’ sake: I am Captain Gerrit of the Third Division of the Lower City Guard. Now you know, now tell me who you are!”, he ordered. You raised your chin at him defiantly and crossing your arms not letting yourself be impressed by his display of rank. “What’s it to you, Captain Gerrit of the so and so?”, you pressed him further. Gerrit’s eyes narrowed at you, you could see that his patience with you was fading. You heard Astarion chuckle again behind you, then wince: “Ouw, keep those away from me, as far as I know, laughing still hasn’t been outlawed, yet.” “Watch it, elf”, Gerrit spat toward him then he focused on you again, angling his head. “Oh nothing really, only that I’d be taking you into custody if you happened to be that Tav”, he answered. “Because if you were that Tav, I know you’d belong to a band of thieves I’ve been looking to capture for the better part of a year.” “And who told you that?”, Astarion chimed in and stepped closer to you despite the weapons pointed at him. He curved around them and stood directly behind you and stared up at the captain who was also at least half a head taller than the rogue. “A tiefling woman with a, dare I say, severe case of resting bitch face and a whimpering man that looked like a beaten puppy? Because may I tell you they have been pestering us the whole evening and of course they’d tell y…”, Astarion went on but was interrupted by Gerrit now being very annoyed at the both of you and lifting a hand in harsh motion that even prompted the vampire to shut up. You felt your time to act was running out…

“You are indeed correct”, the captain offered from behind gritted teeth “and I also happen to know that they were also part of your little band of thieves and they are already in custody. And so are you two go…”

Time was up. With all the force you could muster you lifted your knee to kick the bastard in the balls. Gerrit simply hmpfed and was sent to his knees.

Astarion didn’t lose a moment, whirled the stolen cloak around the two other guards who were still pointing their weapons at him but could only react with shock. He had them wrapped up as if they were wearing an oversized scarf and then tugged on the ends to make their heads in their shiny helmets clank against each other. They went down as well and you both turned to fucking run.

You stumbled through the crowd, pushing people out your way, without a word agreeing to try and make it to the balcony again. You raced directly to the stairs while Astarion had to take detour to dodge the swipe of another halberd and then was blocked by another guard. But instead of trying to fight him, Astarion leapt for the table next to the guard, placed his hands flat on it and swung his legs over it in a swift athletic motion. At the staircase to the gallery another guard was just about to block your way, screaming “Stop!” at you. But he was kicked in the knee pits and also received a mug of beer over his head once it was in reach for his assailant – Kirin. “Don’t touch the lass!“, the dwarf screamed viciously as the guard fell on his face.

“Thanks”, you shouted to him passing by and racing up the steps. Even Astarion mustered a wink for the dwarf and then ran after you. You made it to the balcony without further interruption. By the noise you had heard behind you, you had precious moments until your assailants would even reach the gallery.

“The dwarf grows on me”, Astarion said breathlessly. You simply waved in agreement, trying to catch your breath. “And also”, Astarion continued, gasping for air “Tav Hammerknee strikes again, it seems.”

You didn’t even have it in you anymore to react to his audacity, so you just went to the railing to look down. “It’s a bit of a drop, but after everything… I think we can make it. Although I almost broke my neck one time trying to get down there…” Astarion walked up next to you and looked down as well: “From this height? Darling, I guess you can be happy your career as a thief is over you must’ve been terrible at it.” And with these loving parting words he climbed over the railing and let himself hang from the bottom edge of the balcony before letting go and landing elegantly in a deep crouch before standing up again.

He dusted some invisible lint off his shirt then looked up at you: “Easy.” Asshole. “I’ll have you know that the last time I was blackout drunk”, you spat back. “So barely worse than tonight.” You snorted at that and started to climb over the railing, copying his moves.

“I’ll catch you, love, don’t worry. I won’t let this be the end after everyth…” You had already let yourself drop into his open arms. The sudden impact drew all the air from his lungs, but he did safely catch you.

“Gotcha”, he whispered and slowly put you down. Then he tried to sort out the mess your hair had become. “Well, running from the city guard certainly was a first time for me.” “Aww, I love when I can be there for your first times, Astarion“, you cooed at him and pressed a kiss to his lips. He looked positively done with you.

“Let’s just go home?”, he asked you with a smile. “Let’s!”