Eikoii - Jiyuu

— CYBERPUNK: EDGERUNNERS ✩ LUCY

Lucy by 世界

The thing I hate about my family is…nothing is ever serious. They don’t take me seriously. They laugh at me whenever I say anything. It’s like there’s no room for me outside of being the comic relief. This isn’t a sitcom.

When I say, “That was really hurtful and I wish you wouldn’t say things like that.” I expect you to take me seriously. But you just laugh. Because that’s all I am, right? A clown? What does it matter what I say?

Everything you say to me is a joke, even when it doesn’t feel like a joke. “I wish I’d never had children. Well…actually I wish I’d never had a second child!” That’s hilarious to you. To me, it’s why I cried myself to sleep last night. But it’s a joke, right? I can’t be mad? Because it’s a joke? It’s not serious? Even though you say it all the time, whenever I say anything, whenever I do anything.

But if all I am is a joke, then I’ll be funny. So I play the part and I act like an animal for you to gawk at in a zoo. I have no substance, I have no life of my own. My thoughts and feelings don’t mean any more than Homer Simpson’s. Because what am I good for if not a cheap laugh? Right?

Well thats thats then. Little advice, dont fall in love, because in the end all it does is fucking destroy you. I swear to god im never putting myself through this shit ever again.

My from now on this little fangirl heart is strickly for henry and kal.

WHERE THE FANFICTIONS AT?????