SOBBING, THIS IS SOOO GOOD

SOBBING, THIS IS SOOO GOOD

Red Carnations - J.Seresin

Summary: A Red Carnation signafies your heart aches for that person.

Jake left red carnations at your headstone every year, until he wasn't and you were staring back at him, alive.

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Pilot!Reader - Callsign: Hela.

Warnings: 18+, mentions of death, mentions of accidents/injury. Mentions of nightmares, fluff and some angst.

This is part II to "Middle Of A Memory" which you can find here.

a/n: woah. I didn't expect the two of these to get so much love but I am so happy it has! the long anticipated part two.. it's here! I hope this lives up to what everyone was hoping for. Thank you for sticking with me and having patience with me. <;3

happy reading!!

Year: One.

The summer sun was hot on his skin as Jake sat on the now green grass. The headstone stared back at him, “Y/N, “Hela” Y/L/N” he reads softly to himself as he reaches over, wiping some dirt out of the letters. “I can’t believe it’s been almost a year Hels” he watches the way the leaves flow with the wind, as if you were listening to him.

“I still can’t even listen to Foreigner without thinking about you,” he chuckles, running a hand along his face. He had stubble on his cheeks, choosing to take his leave to come to New York and see you. “I need to go home and see mom but she knows how much this means to me” he whispers, smiling slightly to himself. “I miss you so much beautiful” he stands and brushes some grass from his jeans as he sets down the small bouquet of red carnations.

His mother always saying that a red carnation means you were aching for that person. He smiles sadly as they sit perfectly on your headstone. He takes a deep breath and looks to the sky to prevent more tears from rolling down his cheeks. There was a knowing smirk on his face as he knew you’d be teasing him, all in good fun. He kisses his fingertips, laying them atop the stone, walking towards his hotel. 

“How’d it go?” His mom’s voice is soft on the other line, understanding. “It was nice, I felt her with me” he admits, pushing the hair out of his face as he walked the busy sidewalk.  “Are you gonna come home?” she asks tentatively, “I think so mama, I-” he chokes up then, biting back the tears.

“You need your mama, you can admit it” she smirks but she knows her son. “My flight leaves in a few hours” he whispers, shoving his hands into the pocket of his jeans to pull out the keycard to his room.

“What flowers did you leave for her?” she asks as he shuts the door behind him, “red carnations”. She smiles sadly, nodding, “okay baby, I will see you soon then? Gracie is home too” he smiles at the mention of his sister.

"Of course, how is she holding up?” he asks as she sighs, she looks back at the younger Seresin who sat curled up on the couch with her father like she was six again. “She could really use her big brother right now” he nods.

“I will be home soon” she nods, knowing he can’t see her. “I love you” he smiles, “I love you mama” he hangs the phone up then, looking down at the text staring back at him. 

Raven: Thinking of you today. I found this and thought it might make you smile.. *1 attachment *

The tears he tried so hard to prevent started to fall freely. A photo of you and Jake, it was from when you first met him in Tennessee. He stood behind you, his arm across your chest as the two of you looked at the other, your smile was wide and Jake's eyes were dripping with love.

He sobs, his head falling forward as he sits on the edge of the bed. The two people in the photo were not ones he recognized. “It’s bullshit Hela '' he mumbles to himself, tossing the phone aside as he brushes the tears off his cheeks, taking a deep breath.

Jake landed in Austin almost two hours later. His sister's grin meets him in the airport. She covered her tears with a smile as he made his way to her, his own smile hiding his own tears. “Jakey” she whimpers as her brother approaches.

“It’s okay Gracie, c’mere” he’s dropping his bag and wrapping her in his arms, her head nuzzling into his chest. He can feel her sniffle against the tshirt he wore, kissing the top of her head, he squeezes her body. “I got you, let’s go home yeah?” he asks softly as she nods, wrapping her arm around his waist and walking to the parked car.

The car ride was silent, the radio played softly and the silence was almost deafening as the Foreigner song picked up on the radio. “Shit” she quickly reaches for the seek button or anything to turn the song off. “No” he stops her, looking at her with a wide smile.

“I want to hear it"

He admits as he turns the song up louder, looking out the window with his sunglasses perched on his nose. He couldn’t help but smile at the sound of Kelly Hansen’s voice filling his ears.

He can’t help but sing along softly. Gypsy smiles from her seat, looking at her older brother from her peripheral, he looked at peace for one of the rare moments in the last year.

Year: Three

The red circle stared back at him. Red and screaming as he stood in front of the calendar.

Three years to the date he’s been without you.

He couldn’t take leave this year and was stuck on base training. He shuts the locker with a slam and walks out of the locker room. The murmuring of the other pilots stops at his outburst, watching as he walks out of the room.

He puts the sunglasses on his face and walks past the squad room where the dagger squad sat. Gypsy looks up as her brother's boots walk along the linoleum floor. “What’s his problem?” Payback asks as she looks down at her phone. The date stared back at her. “It’s today” she looks at Raven who nods sadly. “I’ll go talk to him” Bradley stands, leaning down to kiss the top of Raven’s head, following the older Seresin.

Jake tosses his bag into the passenger seat of his truck, going to get in when Rooster's voice stops him. “Hangman!” he jogs up to the Chevy, looking at Jake. “Hey” Bradley looked at him, Jake's face was stone, he hid his emotions better especially in front of anyone on the squad. “I know what today is,” Rooster whispers, moving closer to him. “I expect you too” Hangman mumbles, looking at Rooster.

“You know I understand don’t you? I grieve my parents everyday” Rooster says, watching as Jake shuts the door to his truck gently. “I know you do Rooster and thank you” he nods to him in thanks, “I-I just need to be alone okay?” taking the aviators off, Rooster nods at the sadness in his eye. “Of course, I’m just a phone call away okay?” Jake nods, sending him a sad smile and climbing behind the wheel of his truck.

The living room was silent. Jake couldn’t bring himself to even turn the television on. He can hear the soft tick of the clock as the minutes go. He takes a deep breath before he’s grabbing his phone, pulling up the group chat with the Dagger Squad.

Coyote: Hard Deck?

Fanboy: I'm in!

Phoenix: Same!

Gypsy: Bob and I are gonna stay in, I’m not up to it.

He stops reading the texts, standing and shoving the phone in his pocket as he grabs his jacket and leaves the house.  The house still had so much of you even after three years, he took over your lease of the beachfront home. He couldn’t bear it going to anyone else.

He drove to the flower shop down the street, he knew what he was there for. The sweet woman smiled at him as the bell above the door dings. “Can I help you?” she asks as he smiles, looking around at all the flowers and plants lining the walls.

“Yes actually, do you have any red carnations?”

She smiles a wide smile, holding a finger to him and makes her way back to the back of the store.

The breeze was cold on his skin as he stood on the sand. The carnations were held securely in his hands as he took a deep breath, taking in the saltiness of the sea. Rooster notices him as he stands in the Hard Deck, grabbing his own jacket, he makes his way outside.

“Hangman?” Jake turns and for one of the first times in their friendship, Rooster can see the tears streaming down his cheeks. “Hey Rooster '' Jake is wiping his cheeks, turning back to the water. Rooster moves beside him, holding his hand out to him. Jake furrows his brows as Bradley motions to the flowers. “Let me have one” he mumbles as Jake takes the small bouquet and gives one to the man beside him.

“Red Carnation?” he asks as Jake nods slowly, “they mean you ache for that person, I’ve been leaving them for Hela for years” he whispers, voice breaking slightly. Bradley nods, smiling sadly at Hangman. “I can’t even look at the ocean the same now that she’s gone” Bradley is surprised at the confession as he nods. “I couldn’t go to the beach for a long time once my dad died” he replies as Jake looks at him with a sad smile.

“I know you didn’t know Hela but she was… so fun and she loved all things in life” he smiles sadly as he turns back to the water. “She’d want to be with the sea, even though that’s where she died,” he chuckles softly. Bradley nods, “tell me more about her'' he asks as Jake looks over at him. “Raven probably tells you enough” he chuckles, wiping his cheeks. “The basics'' he admits as Jake nods.

“She was very fun, always had a joke about something” he smiles as he chuckles, “I pulled her off the bar once, dancing to a scorpion’s song in Tennessee '' he smiles as Bradley nods. “I bet she was fun” Jake chuckles, nodding “she was”'.  Jake turns towards Bradley with a sad smile, “Thanks alot for this Bradshaw '' Bradley nods, reaching over and slapping his shoulder with a squeeze. “Of course,” he smiles.

Jake makes his way to the shoreline with Bradley, crouching down to let the Carnation flow with the water, watching as Bradley lets the one in his hands go. “Another year without you Hells Bell” he stands watching as the flowers float into the ocean.  “It never gets easier, does it?” he asks as Bradley stands beside him. "No, no it doesn’t but you have an army behind you” Bradley looks over at him as he chuckles, “you mean navy?” the two of them laugh.

“Let’s go get a drink, what was her favorite drink?” Bradley asks as they make their way up the sand. Jake laughs, looking at Bradley, 

“A sex on the beach” .

Present day.

Cyclone and Warlock watch the way the two of you look between each other. Jake takes in your state, the way your bruises are so fresh and how the split in your lip looked as it almost stung as you smiled at him.

“What-” he’s panting, looking around the room as it starts to feel small, he was not one to get claustrophobic but he was almost suffocated by the walls. “Can we have a minute?” he can’t believe he’s even hearing your voice outside of a Voicemail. Cyclone and Warlock nod, walking out of the room and shutting the door behind them.

He doesn’t notice as you make your way to him, hands moving from the pockets of your jacket. Jake could sob at the bruises on your knuckles as your still soft hands reached out for him. “Jake” you are whispering, reaching out to him slowly, his eyes meeting your bruised one. “How-” he’s shaking his head, pacing the room. You stand there, shoving your hands back into the jacket pockets.

The room is silent. The only sound is Jake’s boots along the concrete floors. “Say something” you say, standing in front of him as his boots stop and he turns to you. His heart aches as he looks you over. “How are you even alive right now Hela?” he asks, watching as you take a deep breath, watching over his face.

“I survived the crash Jake '' he nods slowly, his brows furrowed.

“Doesn’t answer how I buried you almost five years ago,mourned you for almost five years!” he looks at you, breathing heavily as his voice raises. “i-I was on the search team looking for you! We looked for you!” he yells, watching the way you almost folded up onto yourself. “They found me before you did” you whisper, looking up at him through your lashes. “I’ve been held up in an enemy camp since the accident” you can see his boots are in your vision.

“They finally realized they were getting nowhere” His hands are soft as they reach out for your cheek, you flinch against his hand. “Sweet girl” he whispers, thumb tilting your chin up to face him. He sobs at the look on your face, fear and pain. “I didn’t mean for you to mourn me Jake” you move away from him, you begin to pace. “Any of you, Gypsy, Raven” pushing the hair out of your face, wincing at the pain as you brush a cut on your eyebrow.

“Hela” he's reaching for you and soon his arms are around your body as the two of you fall to the floor.

He’s cradling you in his lap as the two of you sob, his chin resting on your head as he holds you closer. “My poor girl,” he whispers, kissing the top of your head as the sobs shake your body against his chest. “I’m so sorry” you sob harder, gripping his arm tightly as he shakes his head,

“You are here and alive baby” he whispers.

It felt like hours as the two of you sat on the office floor, held up together. “I missed you so much” you whisper, gripping his arm as he rocked the two of you. “I missed you even more baby” he whispers, kissing the top of your head. The knock on the door pulls the two of you to stand, Warlock and Cyclone make their way back in.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, just wanting to check in” Warlock smiles sadly at you , you nod sending them a smile. “You can have Lieutenant Seresin back, thank you for bringing him to me Cy” Cyclone nods with his own smile, looking between the two of you.

Turning to Jake who is also wiping his cheeks, you smile and reach up to cup his cheeks. “I want you to go out there and fly, I know this is going to be hard to process but, we will tell the girls later okay?” he nods, kissing your palm.

You smile, leaning up to kiss the lips you waited years to kiss again. He pulls you closer to him by the waist as he chases your lips once the two of you part. “Promise?” you nod, smiling wider, “I promise”. He smiles, kissing your forehead as your eyes close.

“Fly fast” he smirks against your hairline, “Fly safe” he whispers back. 

“Jakey!” he stops at his sister's voice, turning to face her. “Gyps” he smiles at her behind his aviators. “Are you okay? You were in Cyclones office for a while” she’s panting, her helmet in her hands as he nods. “I’m alright Gyps' ' he walks past her with nothing more, walking past the rest of the squad to his own jet. You made your way through the halls of Top Gun, listening over the comms at what was happening in the sky.

“Don’t worry Phoenix, Hangman’s coming” you smile, hugging the jacket tighter to your body. Walking back to Cyclone’s office, he looks up from the papers. “Are you okay?” he asks as you watch the planes out the window. “I am. I-I got to see Jake and that means alot to me” you whisper, shoving your hands back into the pocket of the jacket.

“Thank you again Cyclone really” you look back at him as he smiles, standing. “Of course Hela, we are so happy to know you are back” you smile sadly as he gives your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Pilots are landing, would you like me to go out and get the other Seresin and Cain?” he asks as you nod, looking up at him, “bring both seresin’s in please?” he nods with a grin in the doorway, “you got it”.

The tarmac was warm as the sun was going down, Raven and Gypsy both doing their rounds of push ups when Hondo stopped counting. “Lieutenants Seresin and Cain, I need you both in my office please, when you are ready” he nods to Hondo, Cyclone makes his way back inside, passing hangman as he goes, “you too Hangman”.

Raven looks over at Gypsy and then looks at the older Seresin by the door. “What is going on?” She whispers to Gypsy as they make their way down the hallway. She stood beside her brother who remained cool as a cucumber. “Uh, Gypsy” he turns to the two of them, stopping them outside the office door. “You both are gonna be shocked and- I know it might be confusing” Gypsy furrows her brows, looking up at her brother.

“Jake, just spit it out” she defends, arms across her chest as he nods. Knocking on the door gently, he hears your soft come-in as he opens the door. Raven and Gypsy follow behind the older Seresin who’s shielding you from their vision, a smile so wide on his face it could light up a dark room, “ready?” he mouths as you nod with your own smile, “ready”.

“Raven, Gypsy” you look at your two best friends with a sad smile, hands still shoved in your pockets as the two girls gasp. “No fucking way” Raven starts pacing as she looks between you and Jake and then back at you. “There is no fucking way!” she points at you with a scowl on her lips.

“Jakey..” Gypsy whispers, eyes trained on you as she turns to her brother. You smile at the two of them, making your way to Gypsy and holding a hand out to her. “It's me, Gyps” she sobs, taking your outstretched hand, pulling your body into her own and hugging you tightly.

Closing your eyes, holding back more tears, you hug her tighter. “I’m so sorry” you whisper as she shakes her head, sniffling, “don’t you be sorry! You are here and alive!” she cups your cheeks, a shy smile on her face as you wince. You smile down at her, kissing her palm gently as she sobs with a wide smile. You look over in your peripheral as Raven continues pacing.

“Hold on” you whisper, walking towards her slowly, “Ray” you whisper. It was almost slow motion as she turned around and her hand connected with your cheek. Turning from her, you hold your cheek and close your eyes.

“Raven” Jake steps in, moving to stand between the two of you. She looks up at Jake with a sob. “How is this possible Jake!'' she yells, looking at him and then behind him, you are wiping your lip on the sleeve of your jacket.

“It’s true, Raven” he looks down at her as she sobs, slapping his chest as he brings her into a hug. “She died! She died and I watched her casket go into the ground!” he’s rubbing her back soothingly. “I know, I know,” he whispers with a nod, “so did I” he reminds her.

“Raven'' you move to stand beside the two of them as she looks over at you. She notices the fresh blood on your lip, the bruises along your skin as well as your swollen eyebrow. “I will tell you everything I promise” you say as she sobs.

“I watched them bury a casket Hela '' she whispers as you nod. “It was empty, they told my mom they couldn’t find my body. They couldn’t find it because it was already recovered” you whisper as her sobs slow. “Hela” she whimpers as you nod, a smile on your lips.

“It’s me, Ray” she pulls you into her body, hugging you tightly as you smile, looking up at Jake who can’t help the grin on his own lips. “It’s me Ray I promise” you whisper again, hugging her tighter. 

+

The nights were quiet. They were too quiet for your jukebox mind. The mug sat between your hands as you sat on the couch, the soft ticking of the clock above the television kept your focus. Knees pulled to your chest, you rested the cheesy Navy mug ontop of them. 

The faded Naval academy shirt sat down to your mid thigh as you focused on the soft ticking. So focused, you don’t hear the sound of the floorboard right in front of the bathroom creak. Jake leans against the wall that leads into the living room, he watches the way you looked off almost in a trance. His arms cross over his chest as he decides his next move.

He often found you there, sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee in the early hours of the morning. The two of you were in the Navy but you never got up before the alarm. That was until your accident. You would sleep a mere few hours and then he’d find you out on the couch. He pushes off the wall and walks towards you. His approach is slow so he doesn’t startle you, smiling softly as your eyes meet his.

“Lover” you whisper, sitting up to set the mug aside and looking up at him through your lashes. “Hey sweet girl” he whispers, sitting down on the coffee table to face you. “Did I wake you?” you ask as he shakes his head, elbows resting on his knees.

You've been home now for two months, you did your best to hide the emotions from everyone, hide the nightmares and hide the pain you still were feeling. He looks you over with his own sad smile, looking over your face, all your bruises were healed, a small scar remained on your eyebrow. He reaches forward and smooths his finger over it, watching the way your eyes fall closed. “Another one?” he whispers as you nod against his palm. “Sit with me?” you ask, eyes reopening to look up at him.

His heart clenches at the look in your eye as he nods, moving to lay on the couch, his head falling in your lap. “What was it like?” you ask softly, running your fingers through his blonde strands. “What's that?” he asks, eyes falling closed. “What were the years like? I feel like I missed so much” you admit looking down at him. “Hard” he mumbles behind a yawn, “so hard Hels, I-I had a hard time flying after the accident, they grounded me for about two weeks” he admits as your nails gently scratched his scalp.

“Raven finally talked some sense into me, told me you’d be pissed I was grieving so… hard? She told me you’d want me to try and fly and be the best pilot” you smile sadly, nodding as you sip the now cold coffee. “I would’ve told you to stop feeling sorry for yourself” you whisper as he chuckles softly, “I figured that, so I flew with a photo of you in the cockpit every single day” he admits as you smile sadly.

“Hela?” he asks, his speech slurred as you hum in response. “I want to marry you, ya know? I thought about how if you were still alive that we would be the hottest couple in the Navy” you chuckle softly, looking down at his now sleep filled eyes. “Are you asking me to marry you cowboy?” His smile is goofy and lopsided.

“Someday I will, the right way with a perfect ring and setting for us” you smile, patting his chest. “Let's get you to bed lover” he smiles, standing as you reach over, turning off the lamp beside you and following down the hallway.

The sun was bright in the sky as Jake stood on the tarmac. He watched as everyone got into their planes. “How is she doing?” Gypsy asks her older brother, he looks over at her with a hum. “Her nightmares are getting worse, barely sleeps” he admits, shoving the glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Poor thing” she whispers as he shakes his head, “She tries to hide them from me,I find her on the couch every night” he looks over at his sister with a sad smile.

“We will get through it though, she will, her bruises are healing and so is she, one day at a time” he nods, he wasn’t sure if he was reassuring her or himself. She nods, looking up at him, “Well, maybe if she feels up to it, bring her to the Hard Deck tonight! She should meet the squad!” she grins, walking towards Bob and Phoenix.

He nodded, making his way towards his own plane, climbing the ladder. Maybe going out to the hard deck, meeting and seeing everyone would help.

The Jukebox was soft and flowed through the open windows beautifully. You smiled, standing at the end of the stairs of The Hard Deck. This place brought back so many good memories for you.

Climbing the steps, you take a deep breath and push through the dark green door. The smell of beer and fried food filled your nose. Jake insisted he go without you, he wanted to give you a chance to come on your own time. You smile as you notice the back of his head at the pool tables, Raven and Gypsy as well.

“Hela?” you look over at the soft voice, Penny Benjamin is smiling behind the bar. She knew you were alive, Maverick told her about your arrival back on base, she remembered you from Top Gun.

“Penny?” you ask in a soft voice as she is rounding the bar and making her way to you. “I thought he was lying..” she whispers, smiling wider at the smirk on your lips. “Captain Mitchell is no liar” you smile as she laughs, pulling you into a hug.

Penny became a safe space for you, she listened to you cry about how much you loved your best friend when you attended top gun, how you would never be anything more than his wingman. “Would you like a sex on the beach?” she grins at the smile that was wide on your face, for once it met your eyes. “I would love one Penny” she makes her way back to the bar. 

The pool game seemed intense. You watch as Jake bends over to take the shot, smirking as you whistle behind your straw. The group turns at the sound, Jake smirks and takes the shot, standing back to his full height. “Hey sweetheart” he grins as he walks towards you. Looking up at him, you smirk ”Hi lover”.

He leans down kissing your lips with a grin. “Everyone” he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. “I introduce to you, Y/N aka Hela” you smile. The group watches the way your eyes bounce through them all before a smirk breaks out on your face. “Let’s see, Coyote, Fanboy, Payback” you point to each aviator who nods with a smile.

“Bob” you smile at the WSO who shares a soft smile with you, “aka the love of Gypsy’s life?” you question the younger Seresin who blushes beside her boyfriend. Bob pulls her into his side by her waist. “Nice to meet you formally Hela” he shakes your hand as you grin.

“What did I miss?” you smirk at the voice, turning to face Raven and Rooster. “Bradley Bradshaw as I live an breath” Jake chokes on the sip of your drink he was taking as the squad try hiding their laughs.

Bradley stands in his Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses perched on his tank top. “Oh god there's two of them” you chuckle with a smirk moving closer to him, hands on your hips as you tilt your head.

“Nice to meet you formally Bradshaw” you hold a hand out to him as he shakes it slowly, pulling you into his chest for a hug. “It’s nice to finally meet you Hela” he whispers only to you, wrapping your arms around him, you grin.

“It’s so nice to meet all of you” you turn to the group, holding a hand out to Jake. “I'm sorry you've had to deal with Hangman for so long” he scoffs, taking your hand and pulling you into his side. 

The bar was still full by the A.M hours. Jake turns to his left, which he finds empty. “Oh no” he whispers to himself as Coyote looks at him with a raised brow. “What’s wrong?” Coyote asks as Jake sighs, “I can’t find Hela, which can only mean two things” he sighs.

The jukebox changes and he hears your laugh. He was happy to hear that laugh again, eyes closing as the opening notes of Scorpions “Rock you like a Hurricane” plays through its speakers.

You turn to face him a grin as bright as the stars as you hand penny the empty glass. You were on drink five by now, cheeks flush as you climb up onto the hard deck bar.

You walk the bar, singing to him the opening verse. You smirk, “my cat is purring, it scratches my skin, so what is wrong with another sin?” he grins.

“Gentleman” he turns to the dagger squad who watches as you circle your hips along the bar. “This is Hela” he smirks, handing his now empty beer to Coyote who takes it with a chuckle. He walks towards the bar as your dress sways with your hips, hands running up your sides, landing on your breasts. “Oh lover” you grin at the sight of him, moving to the edge of the bar to look down at him. “Hi beautiful girl, let's get you home yeah?” he asks as you shake your head.

Him and Penny share a look as he reaches forward, his hands are soft on the back of your knee caps as he is pulling you over his shoulder. Just like the night in Tennessee you are face to face with his jean clad butt.

You squeal, gripping his shirt tightly as he walks towards the door, his hand holding down the ends of your dress. “Penny, I’ll be back for our tab!” he yells back over his shoulder. “No worries!” she yells back with a smile. 

He holds your thighs with one arm as he opens the passenger side door, gently setting you against the warm leather seats. You fall into the seat, legs facing him as your eyes look up at him, full of love.

“Will you marry me cowboy?” he chuckles, hands resting on your knees as he smiles, “you know in a heartbeat”. He shuts the door after he gets you inside, a grin on his lips as he makes his way to the driver's side. He finds you there, messing with the radio.

“Play me something” you sigh, leaning back into the seat with a huff. He grins, messing with his phone as he plays the one song he knew would make you smile.

“Oh my god!” you laugh, looking over at Jake who smirks, turning out of the Hard Deck and onto the main road. You lean against the window, hair flowing with the wind as you sing loudly.

“When you love someone, it feels so right, so warm and true” you sing loudly and off-key.

Jake wouldn’t trade it for the world, five years without you coming crashing onto him.

Five years without this, without you singing to him at three in the morning.

“You make me feel alive Jake,” he smiles, kissing your knuckles as he pulls your interlaced fingers to his lips.

“I waited a long time for a girl like you Hela” you grin, falling back into the seat as you watch the world pass by you.

+

The office was stuffy as you walked in. The room was bare, nothing much to the walls but plaques. Full of mostly browns and begie paint covering the walls.

It was your first day back on base, you would be working with other victims of air accidents, still too nervous to climb back into the cockpit.

You walk towards the desk, head tilting at the small vase sat in the middle. Setting your bag down beside you, moving towards the small bouquet of red carnations.

Reaching forward, you pick up the small card that was placed in front of them, 

“For my favorite goddess of death, have a wonderful first day. J x”

+

those who requested to be tagged: @dempy , @laneyspaulding19, @peakascum, @angelbabyange,@mallerz, @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy,@untoldshortsofthefandoms, @jstarr86,@lovemesomevesey,@f1maverick,@chloeforde, @callsignwidow - if i missed anyone, i do apologize, please pass this along!

thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope this second part lives up to what is everyone is hoping for. please share your thoughts as rebolgs as well as my ask box are always open!

if you enjoyed this fic, you can find all my other work in The Library.

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updated 06/10/23

note: most of these can be read in any order, but to get a good sense of the plot and characters, it’s a good idea to follow the way they’re laid out here as it’s the way they were written to be read.

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Home Sweet Home | Chapter 4. Tears and Broken Hearts Club

Rhett Abbott x OC Reader

Summary: Sunny Pritchett decides to move back home, but without a reason why. Once she's back she runs into her childhood best, friend Rhett Abbott. Rhett seems very surprised to see her. Not only that, but he sees she has a small child on her hip. Will Sunny try to reconnect with Rhett and tell him the real reason you she's moved back. Or will her past come back and find her until everything blows up.

Warnings: Mental and Physical abuse, PTSD flashbacks, swearing, fighting, (eventually smut 18+)

“Are you sure you know where the diapers are? If you aren't sure they're in my room-” you say, but you’re being cut off by your mom.

“Sunny, I know where everything is, I lived in this for over 20 years. I may be getting older, but I’m not losing my mind just yet.” she says back before you can get another word out.

She can tell that you're nervous going out with Rhett, you told her about your conversation you had with him after the service. She was so excited for you. After that she ran to the phone and called Cecilia. She could be her on the phone yelling at Rhett for not telling her he asked you out. 

“I don’t care if it’s not a date. If she’s going to become my daughter-in-law at some point, then I need to know these things, Rhett?!” 

Also, you went upstairs 12 times to change your outfit, redo your makeup, and change your hairstyle. You shouldn’t be nervous, you guys were just going to dinner, and he was taking you straight home. but it was just dinner right? 

That thought kept going on and off in your head for the next 10 minutes until you heard a knock at the door.

Your mom opens the door and you can hear from the other room making small talk. “Hello Rhett, Sunny will be out in just a minute. Oh, don’t you look handsome.” Before you go, you pick up Ollie and say goodbye. 

Before you look up you just tell your mom “Stop embarrassing me please.” When you walk out you and Rhett lock eyes with each other. Not able to look away from one another.

“It’s been good see’n ya Rhett, bring my daughter home in one piece.” your dad says making you break eye contact with Rhett.

(Rhett's little POV)

When I first saw her walk into the room, it seemed like everything stopped moving, and the spotlight was on her. 

She looked so beautiful as a magnolia in May. She could take your breath away with just one smile. The way her dress flowed across her legs, the way her hair sways when looking the other way. Just the way she looked, almost made me go to my knees.

She looked like a literal angel. And I just want to keep her all to myself.

(Back to your POV)

Walking up to Rhett you look down at his hands, and see a small bouquet of mixed colored Dahlias. He notices you looking at them. “Oh… these are for you. I know they're your favorite.”

But when you try to take them you see there's a little bit of dirt at the bottom of them, and some of it falls on the floor. 

Your mother takes the flowers saying she’ll cut them, and put them in water later.

Then you wave your parents goodbye, and tell them you’ll be back later.

When you both are down the steps, you look at your little flower beds near the front porch, and see a big patch of flowers missing. You justed whisper over to him “Did you just rip the flowers out of my moms garden?”

He whips his head to you and he looks back at the flower bed. Then he turns to you and just starts to blush. You both look at eachother and see each others cheeks going dark. So, he turns the other way from being embarrassed. “It’s fine, but next time I would like some flowers that don't immediately get ripped from the ground?” you tell and look at him, only seeing a warm smile on his face.

While Rhett opens you car door, he tells you “Well, I forgot to pick up flowers on the way here, so your moms garden was the next best option.”

You just turn to him with a smirk, then you say back “Thanks for the jester, but don’t do it again.” While you're trying to buckle up, he gives you a fake salute and says “yes ma'am” trying not to break into laughter. He then walks over to the driver's side, and you're both off to the diner.

When driving down the road you’re looking out the window, but in the corner of your eye you see Rhett fiddling with his hands. You know he wants to hold your hand, or put it on your thigh. But he can’t, he just puts his hand on his own lap. Trying every way to distract himself.

While you're staring out the window again. Your mind starts wondering. Wondering what Rhett’s hands felt like. How they would feel holding your hand, having it rest on your thigh. How they would feel when pulling your hair, having them inside you-

“We’re here” You leave your filthy mind, and try not to focus on him. The only thing you can do is nod, you don’t trust your voice just yet. You're afraid when you speak that you’ll whimper, and then the whole night will be ruined. You just want to forget that ever happened in your mind. Get this dinner over with, and go home.

Walking into the diner was like walking into a book of old memories. You and Rhett would come here after you both would see bull rides with your families. As to annoy him you would always root for the opposing person Rhett would cheer for.

Finding a booth to sit in, you both sit in award silence. Once again waiting for someone to break tensions.

He starts first. “So… how have ya been?” he asks sheepishly. You just give him a dumbfounded look on your face. “You already asked that, remember cowboy?” In return he just gives you an awkward smile, but you also see a little bit of blush creep up on his cheeks. 

“Did you ever finish your art program, I remember you never stopped talking about it when you got accepted.” 

Suddenly you are frozen, you don’t know what to say? How were you supposed to tell him that your ex didn’t want you in school? He just wanted you to stay home, and clean and cook for him. How can you explain to him that you had to drop out because you got pregnant with your son? 

“N-No I didn't, I had to stop because I got pregnant with Ollie. I wanted to try and go back to finish out, but I didn’t have the time. With work, and taking care of Ollie. It was a lot. So… y-yeah.” You suddenly feel so ashamed, and exposed for what you just told him. You couldn’t stand to look at him. Afraid he will see you differently now.You really wanted to tell him that you were forced to quit because your boyfriend didn’t like that you were going out. He also thought you were cheating, and calling you a “sleazy whore” and “selfish lying slut.” When you were really busting your ass trying to get good grades, and trying your absolute hardest not to fail your courses.

Rhett could see you shutting down a little bit, he knew there was more to the story, but he wasn’t going to push you and tell him every little detail. He was just happy that you’d go out with him. He didn’t want to ruin your night by invading your personal privacy and space. He was happy to see you smile, and be your old self again for a little bit.

Breaking the silence Rhett starts talking again. “Hey, I heard that they wanted help for an art teacher at Amy’s school, I think you could be good at it. Since, ya know you're really good at that stuff. Also I’ve seen your work before, and I think you’d be amazing at it, Sun.”

You suddenly look up at him, and give him a small, quirked smile. He always knows how to lighten your day up. He could just say something, or do absolutely nothing. Even just looking at you, and he brings a smile to your face.

“Thanks, I’ll look into that… But enough about my depressing life. What have you been up to?”

He tells you about staying on the ranch, he tells you about his mom, and his niece Amy, and how her mother Rebbeca suddenly “left” and she hasn't returned. He also tells you that he’s started bull riding, and you light up at that. To be honest, you were so proud of him. He actually became a rider. You really can’t wait to see the next show.

After you both order your food, you just get lost in conversation talking about what you did in the last couple of years. Just thinking about old times before shit hit the fan. And your world came crumbling down.

You both continue to make small talk when your food comes. Just reliving old memories, with your oldest friend. 

You suddenly just want this moment to freeze. Wanting to live in the perfect little moment for the rest of your life. In this little diner, with the man you’ve been in love with since forever.

After you put up a fight letting Rhett pay for the bill, and knowing your stubborn ass would start to argue. Rhett stuck to his word, and you both hop in his truck and he takes you home.

The drive home was once again silent, but there was some random country song that you started to hum to.

When he pulls up to your house you just turn to look at him, wanting to say something. He also wants to say something but he just freezes up. Not wanting to ruin the moment.

“Thanks for everything tonight. I-I had a r-really good time.” you tell him stumbling over your word, and with a shy smile and a little bit of blush on your cheeks.

“No problem Sun” and that’s all he says. Choking up on his words, and not saying anything else. 

The next thing you know, you are climbing out of the truck and walking up the little stone pathway to your house.

Before you reach the first step, you hear a loud slam from the car door. You whip around, trying to see what the noise was. But you just see Rhett jogging towards you.

You both are face to face, standing like a statue not knowing what to do. He takes his hat off, and you both get good looks at each other.

“I’m sorry Sunny, I haven’t seen you in a long time, and it was really nice catching up with you. And Itruly  do want to make things better between-” You suddenly stop him, cupping your hand and putting it over his mouth to make him stop spewing nonsense.

“Stop… Just stop for a second.” You take your hand away from his mouth, and let him take a couple of deep breaths. “Rhett, I had a good time too. It was a little bit weird because we haven’t seen each other in a long time. But what happened between us, it’s over now. We're both fully grown adults and it’s in the past.” you tell him with confidence, but on the inside you were trying to hold back tears, and trying not to pour your whole sad story on him.

He just looks at you with his eyes widened. “But the stuff I said to you… that was out of line.”

“Rhett it’s in the past. I’m not mad at you anymore. To be honest, I just want to have my bestfriend back. The unstoppable duo.” she says to him.

They both chuckle at the saying, Rhett to be honest haven't heard that phrase in a long long time.

“Alright, but you have to come to one of my rides, you know I need my best friend in the whole wide world there.” he says with a grin on his face.

“Ya, I’ll be there… Goodnight. See you later Rhett.” you say to him in a hushed voice.

“Goodnight darlin’” he said also in a hushed voice. He comes up to you and gives you a little peck on the cheek. That immediately gave you little flutters in your stomach. You walk up the steps to your front door, and turn around one more time.

You see him still in the same spot. The only thing that he does is give you a little wave of his hand, you give one back and walk into your house.

Through the little screen door you see him walking away, making sure he got into his car safely. You finally close both doors, and slump down to the ground.

You knew you had feelings for Rhett. But they were just little, sad feelings. But after tonight, you realized that your feelings are becoming a little bit bigger.

If you were going to be around him more often, you knew that it was going to wreak havoc on your life. But you really didn't care. You knew your feelings for Rhett were becoming stronger. You just didn’t want to get your heart broken again. 

You knew deep down that somehow you would.

But you just didn’t care. You wanted Rhett Abbott.

End.

(Here is some outfit and hair inspo for Sunny's "date night" with Rhett.)

Sunny's Dress

Sunny's hair

Reblogs are always welcome. Unless you're under 18. I will block you. You all should be responsible. Also comment if you wanted to be added to the taglist.

Taglist: @callsign-magnolia @roosterforme @angelbabyyy99

dividers are by @saradika

I READ THIS ALL IN 20 MINS I COULD NOT STOP READING!!!! THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE BOB FIC!!

Explicitly Yours | Bob Floyd x Reader

Summary: When Bob met you, he fell for you hard and fast. He thought you might be his perfect match, the one that would make his days feel full instead of lonely. He never would have dreamed you had a secret. But secrets are known to be revealed at the most inconvenient of times, and Bob's surprised hesitation could cost him the thing he wants most.

Warnings: Smut, oral, fluff, angst, misogyny, language, mentions of adult film industry

Length: 11k words (what have I done?)

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Former Pornstar!Female Reader

This was written for International Bob Floyd Fucks Month hosted by @attapullman. Check my masterlist for more! Banner by @thedroneranger

Bob was fresh off of a long deployment when he returned to work at North Island on Monday morning to find he would begin training as part of a new taskforce. He was tired and antsy, still overstimulated from being around so many people on the aircraft carrier, but he was also realizing how lonely he was. 

He'd arrived back to a sterile, empty, dusty apartment, slept for two days, and now he was back to work. He couldn't even have a cat or a houseplant. He really would like to have a cat or a houseplant. Mostly he thought about how nice it would be to have a girlfriend. A sweet one who would wait for him to return home so his apartment didn't feel so sad. One who didn't mind that sometimes he preferred it to be quiet. One who would let him dote on her a little bit when he was home.

When he was told to report to Classroom Six in his uniform instead of the tarmac in his flight suit, Bob knew it was going to be a long day. That idea only grew as soon as he walked in and was accosted by his friends. "You're back!" Natasha screeched, streaking across the room like a brunette cannonball and slamming into his arms. "It's not even fair that we weren't deployed together. I missed you!"

"Missed you too, Nat. Thanks for all the emails."

Then he felt Bradley, Jake and Javy all jostling him around until his glasses were crooked on his face. That's probably why he did a double take when he saw you. There was no way you were that beautiful. His glasses must need to be adjusted on his face. But he was wrong. You looked the same after he pushed his wire frames back into place. 

He swallowed hard and whispered, "Who's that?"

The guys all looked at him with matching smirks, and Javy told him your name. "Civilian. She's Warlock's new assistant. Got reassigned from a different department last week."

"She's real cute," Jake added. "And she looks so familiar."

"Why does she look so familiar?" Bradley asked, and Bob realized that the whole group was staring at you where you were conversing quietly with Warlock. "We've been trying to figure it out for a week."

You didn't look familiar to Bob. You just looked pretty with bright eyes and a friendly smile, both of which were trained on him now. Of course you were looking his way now, because everyone had mussed up his hair and wrinkled his uniform. He didn't mind so much that you caught him staring, because you were the kind of woman who must get that a lot.

"Lieutenant Floyd," Admiral Bates said as he stood, and Bob saluted his superior officer immediately. "Welcome back."

"Sir," Bob replied, doing his best not to let his gaze drift back to you. "Thank you."

Then Warlock called the room to order, and Bob ended up sitting in the front row, directly across from you. Barely six feet away. You were so pretty, it wasn't even funny. The curve of your face and your neck and the way you moved were mesmerizing. Smooth and fluid. Confident. Beautiful. You kept Warlock on task and seemed to have all the pertinent information about the class memorized. But all of it was lost on Bob, because he was way too distracted. 

By lunchtime, he had sweat through his undershirt, and he was sure his uniform shirt wasn't looking much better. The way you turned to look directly at him with a slightly guarded expression when you stood made him blush. It must be obvious to you that Bob couldn't keep his eyes off your face.

"Hi," you greeted. "Lieutenant Floyd."

Bob swallowed hard before something that sounded vaguely like Hello came out of his mouth. 

Your smile was tinged with a little sadness as you stuck out your hand. "I've been looking forward to meeting the last team member. Welcome back from deployment, Lieutenant."

And then you were walking away, but Bob was still sweating.

--------------------------

For the next four days, Bob got there early to ensure he had that same front row seat. He had a full blown crush. Heart pounding, palms damp, unable to focus on anything other than his crush on you. When he wasn't at work looking right at you, he was daydreaming about you. When he wasn't daydreaming about you, he was asleep and having actual dreams where you were his girlfriend. In one of them, you gave him a back massage, and he woke up with an erection. 

He could barely even look at you for the nauseous feeling that took up residence just below his pounding heart, but he couldn't look anywhere else. He'd never been like this before. Sure, he'd been attracted to many women in the past, but this was something else entirely. 

"But why is she so familiar looking?" Jake asked Bradley at lunch. "You sure you didn't fuck her?"

"Oh, I think I'd remember fucking someone that looked like that," Bradley replied with a chuckle. "Wait... did you fuck her?"

"I don't think so?" Jake replied, looking a little panicked. "She's not the one I went home with on my birthday, is she? Because you know I can't remember that night. And if I fucked her and can't remember it, then I deserve to be executed."

They both erupted into laughter with Javy, and Bob felt deflated. One of the three of them was definitely going to ask you out sooner rather than later, and instead of getting an occasional guarded glance in his direction, Bob would have nothing.

That night at the bar, he sat with his cup of peanuts and talked with Nat about work while everyone else played pool. "I guess we have another week or two of lectures ahead of us, but I can't wait to get back in the air."

"Yeah," Bob replied, glancing around the room in case the Hard Deck was your Friday night scene. It wasn't really his, but he came for his friends. And if he got to spend another week or two in the classroom, he wasn't going to complain; there would be no way for him to look at you when he was in the cockpit. 

"Bob!" Javy called as if he'd been trying to get his attention for a few minutes. He was waving a pool cue. "Take over for me. I need to go shoot my shot."

As Bob stood, he watched Javy head off into the crowd toward a woman who looked like you. He did a double take, his heart leaping up into his throat as Bradley started to push him closer to the pool table. Javy saw you. He was going to ask you out. A feeling of devastation filled his lungs, but then the woman turned around, and it wasn't you. Her smile wasn't nearly as pretty, and she didn't have the same eyes. 

Relieved, Bob sank the seven ball before running the table like he was some sort of pro. But he knew deep inside that he was going to have to ask you out himself or miss out on even having a chance with you. 

Every day the following week, he tried to give himself a pep talk. He could do this. Even if you said no, it would be fine. It would be good practice for him. But he knew it would not be okay. He liked the sound of your voice and the way you moved, and he thought about you in every room of his apartment doing a wide variety of things. Some of them made him blush.

He couldn't tell if it would be worse to never even try or to have to live with himself after you looked at him and said you weren't interested. At least if he kept things quiet, the guys couldn't find a way to make fun of him. And although they all liked to talk about you at lunch, to his knowledge, none of them had asked you on a date. Maybe they were as intimidated as him.

On Wednesday, you dropped your pen, and Bob picked it up for you. He got a "Thanks, Lieutenant Floyd," in response along with a cautious smile. Then on Thursday, he helped you move the projector before class started, and you said, "Thanks. You're a lot stronger than I am." He felt like he floated to his seat after that. 

On Friday, disaster struck. You were organizing your stack of notes at the end of the day when Bob stood. But then Bradley was there, leaning on the table in front of you after everyone had been dismissed. "Hey, so the guys and I were wondering if you ever made it out to the Hard Deck on Friday nights? I'd love to buy you a drink."

Bob nearly collapsed back into his seat as he watched your eyes searching Bradley's face like you were trying to tell if he was lying. "No, actually. I play Dungeons & Dragons most Friday nights."

A strangled sound escaped Bob. "You play D&D?" he asked before he could think better of it. 

"Yeah," you replied easily, giving him a little smile. "Been into it for years."

"Me too," he added, and you set down everything you'd been holding. 

"It must be hard to be part of a campaign when you deploy on occasion?" you asked, and Bob was convinced he wouldn't notice if a freight train was about to hit him. 

He nodded and took a step closer, watching you stand up. "It can be, yeah. But I've been in the same campaign for a few years, so I'd like to think I'm an integral enough part of it that everyone else doesn't mind waiting for me."

You laughed. It was so pretty. "I'm sure they don't mind one bit, Lieutenant Floyd."

"You can call me Bob," he blurted out, eyes going wide as you licked your lips and grinned. 

"Okay. Bob."

He could do this. He was already part way there, he thought. Just a little further. "Maybe you and I could get coffee this weekend and talk about our characters?"

When he was met with silence and your softly parted lips, he wanted to disappear. But your expression was trained on his face, and even though you still seemed a little hesitant, you asked, "Like a date? Because I'm free on Sunday."

-------------------------

You were laughing so hard, you had to set your coffee cup down next to your scone, and Bob was basking in the sound of it. "No, Bob! That's why I made my character a Rogue! Because I could never be such a scoundrel in real life!" He just listened to your laughter taper off while he grinned in the middle of the crowded cafe where you only seemed to be focused on him. 

"Well, that's why I made mine a Sorcerer. I don't know if you knew this about me, but I can't actually cast spells."

You started to laugh again. "Could have fooled me." But he must have been looking at you for too long, because you brought your hand up to your lips and asked, "Do I have crumbs on my face or something?"

"No, your face is perfect," he replied without considering his words, but your look of slightly embarrassed delight outweighed the tinge of mortification he felt.

You searched his eyes, seemingly always trying to gauge his sincerity. Then you surprised him when you said, "You're really sweet. It's refreshing." 

Bob looked down at his hands, unsure how to respond but pleased nonetheless. "Will you let me take you to a movie? Or dinner? Or both?"

"Yes."

The following morning at work, you were as focused on Bob as he was on you. The sweaty palms and erratically beating heart were back, only exacerbated by your alluring gaze and the promise of a second date on Thursday night. You agreed to dinner at an Italian restaurant, and Bob was already excited. 

"Why are you acting so strange?" Nat asked at lunchtime. "You're like both weirdly quiet and also talking so much?"

Bob laughed and said, "I went out on a date yesterday." And when he said it was with you, her eyes went wide. "We're going out again on Thursday."

"Bob!" she gasped, and now all of the guys were looking at him, and there was no way he would ever recover from this as Nat told them he got coffee with you.

"Welcome to the big leagues, buddy," Jake drawled, while Bradley glared at him. "Just wish I could figure out why she seems so familiar. Like it's just stuck in the back of my mind somehow. Like I know her."

"None of you know her as well as Bob does," Nat said with a laugh that made him smile. Before you and he parted ways at the coffee shop, you'd squeezed his hand in your smaller one, and it was already one of the sexiest moments of his life.

"Fuck you, Bob," Bradley grumbled. 

But it didn't matter. Bob really liked you and the fact that you talked about your Dungeons & Dragons character for a full hour. And your pretty face and your laugh. And the way you seemed interested in what he had to say. You were checking off all of the boxes for him. Smart, funny, kind of nerdy, interesting. He wondered how many dates he should take you on before asking you to be his girlfriend.

On Wednesday, as soon as Warlock dismissed everyone, you handed Bob a folded up note.

I can't wait for dinner tomorrow night. Here's my number.

He waited until he was home and sitting on his couch before he texted you. Less than a minute later, you responded. And that's how he spent the rest of his night. He didn't even eat until after nine, too wrapped up in what you had to say. Those intrusive thoughts and daydreams and real dreams about you in his apartment were starting to seem like they could be a reality. That's what he wanted. He could already picture you on the couch, wrapped up in the afghan his mom made, watching a movie with him. Or in his kitchen, helping him make dinner. 

He fell asleep on the couch in his uniform, too absorbed in this conversation to even go to bed properly. But that was fine, because suddenly it was Thursday, and not only would he see you all day at work, he'd get to eat with you and learn more about you.

Once again, Bob slid into that front row seat, and you had to work at keeping the smile from your face all morning. When you did look his way, he felt his breath catch in his throat. He was sure he'd pass out if you kissed him, and suddenly that was the only thing he could think about. Warlock talked about aggressive maneuvering, and Bob thought about your lips. Warlock talked about safety protocols, and Bob thought about your lips touching his.

It would be a miracle if he made it through dinner, but he had to try. You stood and started walking out of the classroom at the end of the day, but you turned back and said, "I'll meet you there at 7:30."

Bob offered to pick you up, but you said you'd drive yourself, and now he had more than two hours to kill. He took a long shower and fixed his hair before dressing in the outfit that Nat had pre-approved for him. He made sure his glasses were straight and that he had his credit card. The only other thing he could do was hope the conversation would come as easily for him this time, as it had over coffee.

He shouldn't have been worried about that. What he should have been worried about was the way his heart stopped when you walked through the front doors of the restaurant and directly for him, wearing a pretty blue dress with your face all made up like he was someone to impress. 

"Hi, Bob," you whispered. Then you kissed his cheek at the same time that he started to turn his head, and his lips nudged yours. He stood there shocked as you slipped your hand into his, and you started to tug him toward the waiting table when his name was called. 

His ears didn't stop burning the whole night. His brain kept circling back to the idea of another kiss. An intentional one. A kiss after a second date was not something he'd ever attempted before, but he was going to do it tonight. Based on the way you were looking at him, he had to. 

"Do you want more wine?" you asked, holding up the bottle. 

"Yes, please," he replied, because that would definitely help his cause. 

You smiled as you poured him some. "You have lovely manners." When you set the bottle down, you added, "And really pretty eyes."

Bob counted to three and then said, "I know we didn't even eat dessert yet, but I really like you. And tomorrow is your D&D night, but maybe you'll let me take you to a movie on Saturday?"

After dinner, in the parking lot next to your car, Bob kissed you. Intentionally. The first tilt of his head was hesitant, and when his lips met yours, he started to get nervous and pull away. But you let your fingers tangle in his hair, and you chased him for another kiss. "Which movie are we seeing?" you asked as you rubbed your nose gently along his.

"You can pick," he replied before kissing you again. "I just want to be around you." And then his hands found the small of your back and you inched yourself closer until your chest was touching his and your knee was bumping his leg.

You were smiling when he finally pulled his face away from yours. "I'll text you my address and the movie I want to see."

Bob smiled, too. "And then I'll pick you up, and we can go to the theater."

This was probably the best week of his life. He watched you pull out of the parking lot, and you waved to him through your window after you blew him a kiss. He went home and thought about what he might be able to cook for date number four. Perhaps you'd want to do the movie on Saturday and then have dinner at his place on Sunday? He'd figure it out. Either way, he was excited for more. 

"A third date?" Nat asked on Friday when everyone was taking a break in the classroom. "Damn, Bob." 

He eyed you where you stood talking quietly with Warlock, and you glanced his way, a soft smile on your lips. "I really like her. She's different. In a good way. And she makes me feel comfortable."

Nat rubbed his back in slow circles. "Make sure you put your arm around her during the movie. She might be expecting it. But if she doesn't snuggle against you, then you should remove it."

He nodded and swallowed. "Right. I can do that. Is it too soon to invite her over to my apartment for dinner?"

"I don't think so," she replied softly. "And maybe you should buy some condoms."

Bob's cheeks immediately flushed, but he didn't mind too much, since it was just Nat. "I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

"She seems sweet. Just tell her what you're feeling when the time comes."

Now everything was making Bob a little nervous as he drove through your neighborhood on Saturday night. He passed modern beachfront house after modern beachfront house, and then his GPS told him he had arrived. He saw your car in the driveway, but the house was gorgeous and must be worth a ton of money. Maybe you had a roommate? 

He parked his old truck and headed up the sidewalk with butterflies in his stomach and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. You opened the door before he even knocked, and then you were in his arms and invading his senses. "Are those for me?" you asked, kissing his cheek and poking the flowers. 

"Yes," he whispered, silently begging you to let him hold you for a few more seconds while he caught his breath and got himself under control. You turned him on in every way, and he'd never encountered this before. 

Your soft voice next to his ear as you chuckled and said, "Thanks, Bob," was not helping. You led him inside, and your house was incredible. There were no signs of a roommate, but there was a view of the ocean from the windows along the back of the house. He watched you bend in your little dress to find a vase for the flowers, and he felt completely overwhelmed. 

"Ready to go?" you asked, reaching for his hand a minute later. Your eyes were eager and sincere as you gazed up at him. Your fingers were laced with his, and Bob realized if he wanted to get to the next step with you, he needed to get through tonight.

"Yes." He kissed your lips softly, and you leaned against his arm as he walked you out to his truck. 

You spent the drive to the movie theater telling him all about your Friday night playing Dungeons & Dragons, and of course Bob felt more relaxed. He bought the tickets, and you got the popcorn, and when he put his arm around your shoulders, you snuggled against him, so he kept it there. By the end of the movie, the empty popcorn bucket was on the floor, and you had your palm resting on his thigh. 

"Did you like it?" you asked softly while the end credits scrolled. 

"Yes, I liked it," he promised, accepting another of your kisses.

"It's still early. Want to grab a drink somewhere?"

Bob really only knew one place, because he spent an awful lot of his free time there. "Should we hit up the Hard Deck? And then I can take you home and hopefully get another goodnight kiss?"

You had one eyebrow raised as you considered him. "Even after the third date? You're not going to try to make a move?"

Embarrassment flooded his cheeks as he muttered, "Not yet." And then your lips were all over his like he'd answered your questions correctly, even though he felt like his thoughts on the matter were actually probably wrong according to most people.

Eventually the two of you made your way to the bar, but visiting the Hard Deck was a mistake that he didn't see coming. You were tucked perfectly against his side as Bob walked across the parking lot and listened to you tell him how much you liked working for Admiral Bates. Then you ordered two vodka sodas, and Bob had to pluck your credit card from your hand to keep you from paying for them. 

"Hey!" you complained, but he just smiled. 

"I'll give it back later." He was rewarded with another kiss on the cheek, this one very close to his lips. 

"Well, look who's here," Jake drawled obnoxiously over the music from the jukebox and the noise from the crowd. "Bob and his friend."

You rolled your eyes and laughed, but you kept one hand linked with his as the drinks were set down. "Should we say hi to your friends?" you asked, and Bob nodded even though he really wanted to just find a small table on the other side of the room. But Nat looked excited, and the other guys looked annoyed, so Bob thought a short detour might be fun.

"Hey," Bob greeted everyone as you sipped your drink. 

"How was the movie?" Nat asked, elbowing Bradley in the side before he could say anything.

"Pretty good," you replied. "You know, for one of those Academy Award bait films." 

Bob laughed and looked at you. "I liked it a lot, actually." Or maybe he just liked sitting with his arm around you for two hours at a time, but he wasn't going to say that in front of everyone else.

Javy tapped a pool cue on the ground and asked, "Do you like to see a lot of movies?"

You nodded with a bit of an apprehensive look on your face that had Bob just about ready to pull you over to the table that another couple was vacating. "Yeah... I like films," you replied softly. 

And then Jake's jaw dropped open and he slapped the edge of the pool table. "Oh my god!" His green eyes were wide as he looked you up and down from head to toe with a smirk that made Bob want to stand in front of you. "That's why you look so familiar! You're Roxy Luxxe."

"Oh, fuck," Javy said as he dropped the pool cue on Nat's foot, and Bradley choked on his beer. 

But Bob just stood there and watched your posture stiffen and the look of apprehension on your face grow. "Who?" he asked softly, but you wouldn't meet his eyes.

"She's a porn star, Bob!" Jake said a little too loudly as he hooted. "A very memorable one, too. Played up different movie genres. Everyone I Did Last Summer. Sisterhood of the Traveling Sluts. Laid in Manhattan. Some real classics!"

"I retired," you said firmly, holding eye contact with Jake even though your voice sounded strained. "I left the industry five years ago."

"Guys," Nat said with a warning tone as she looked at Bob who was frozen in place, his head swarming with wild thoughts. An adult film star? You? But you worked at Top Gun and played D&D and liked scones. You went on three dates with Bob of all people.

Now Nat was physically moving Javy, Bradley and Jake back toward the game of pool, snapping her fingers at them as they continued to ogle you in your pretty dress. "So..." you whispered, turning toward Bob, looking anywhere but at his face. "That was... yeah..."

He had no idea what to say right now, and the longer he went without saying anything, the worse he felt inside. You used to have a job making adult films? Bob couldn't even handle watching those without blushing and stuttering. You must have had sex with dozens and dozens of different men and probably women too, and Bob suddenly realized he could go home and watch them for himself if he really wanted.

"Right," you said, finally looking at him as your eyes started to fill with tears. "Well... no hard feelings, Bob. I'll see you at work on Monday." Then you set your drink down, covered your mouth with one hand and made a beeline for the door.

Bob looked at the drink in his hand, and then at the one you set down. He left his on the table next to yours and followed you out to the parking lot. He looked around, calling your name and checking to see if you were by his truck, but you didn't respond. You were gone. 

Roxy Luxxe. That name was made up, and he didn't think it suited you as well as your real name. That one was perfect, and he liked it. He liked you. He could drive back to your house, but if you didn't want to talk to him, then what was the point? He'd already embarrassed himself by clamming up. But even worse, he thought he might have embarrassed you. 

"Damn it," he muttered, angry at Jake and all of them for making you feel small, and angry at himself, too. He got in his truck and drove himself home.

----------------------------

Well. You got three perfect dates before it all blew up in your face. Three amazing dates with Bob who was going to look at you like you were no longer worthy of his time now. Sure, you would have told him eventually. After another date or two, you would have brought it up in such a way that perhaps could have been a little bit more flattering or at least slightly tasteful. But of course you should have been expecting this. It wasn't the first time. Getting older only did so much for your face, and it didn't matter how much you changed your hair and makeup: Once Roxy Luxxe, always Roxy Luxxe.

You really thought none of them recognized you. It was almost refreshing that Bob had never heard of your alter ego. He probably never saw a single video of you having sex with Sam Slick or Dickie Divine. He didn't know exactly what your tits looked like, because you'd never taken your shirt off for him in person. He didn't know how you sounded when you faked an orgasm. As you ran down the block and got an Uber, you could hear Bob calling for you.

You weren't ashamed or embarrassed. You were not. This was your life, and you made every decision along the way for yourself. Nobody else. You put yourself through school. You bought the house of your dreams. You had an amazing job at Top Gun now for fuck's sake. But Bob was the first guy you met in a long time who made you think you could have a relationship with someone who wouldn't judge you for your past.

You walked from your Uber into your house and kicked your shoes across the entryway. More tears were filling your eyes, but you didn't want to cry again. Not over this. "But he was sweet," you whispered to your reflection in the hall mirror. His friends were kind of assholes, but he wasn't. Even if he didn't want to be with you now, which was understandable, those three dates were something else. Dungeons & Dragons discussions and coffee and pasta. 

You sighed wistfully at the flowers in your kitchen. Maybe a few more years and you'd look even less like Roxy Luxxe. That might make things easier to navigate. You made yourself a cup of tea and grabbed some crackers and sat out on your back deck where the moonlight reflected off of the ocean. The way Bob had wrapped his arm around you during the movie made it easy to imagine him here with you, keeping you warm. Instead you grabbed a blanket and snuggled in as you thought about how he would have been an excellent boyfriend. 

"You win some, you lose some," you told the night sky. If he was bothered by your past which you had designed so you could have a future, then he wasn't the one for you. You fell asleep outside in your dress, and the rising sun eventually woke you up. When you stretched and stood, the chilly air sent you running inside and toward your shower. 

The memories of last night were hanging out in the periphery of your mind. Going to work tomorrow was going to be awful. If you didn't like Admiral Bates so much, you'd request to work under someone else. But then again, why should you have to go to work feeling bad? Yeah, it was going to sting to see Bob, but it was still your job, and you deserved to be happy. 

You showered and took your time until all of your skin felt fresh and new, and then you threw on some oversized sweats after you moisturized. After breakfast, you could see if one of your friends from D&D was free to hang out. You were finally just about to check your phone to see if Bob had attempted to reach you when you heard a knock at your door. 

Bob's truck was parked in your driveway just behind your car. You could see it through the front window. According to your phone, he tried to call you twice, and he'd send you a handful of texts. But now he was here and knocking again. It was obvious you were home, so you wrenched your front door open and stood before him with your chin held high.

"What do you need?" you asked, already feeling weak at the sight of his pretty blue eyes and his glasses. 

"Hi," he said softly, just staring at you. He looked exhausted, like maybe he hadn't slept. Then he fumbled around in his jeans pocket and pulled out your credit card. "This is yours."

You plucked it from his hand and started to close the door. "Thanks for returning it. I'll see you at work."

Then he said your name. Your real name. "Wait. Please?"

You pressed your lips together. "What do you want, Bob?" 

The soft rise and fall of his solid chest held your attention while he started stuttering. "L-Look. I'm really sorry about last night."

You nodded. "Me too." It wasn't like you wanted to know, but you couldn't stop yourself from asking, "I take it you went home and looked up my videos?"

His eyes went wide as you crossed your arms over your chest. "I didn't."

You actually believed him, but you felt like making yourself hurt anyway. "Your friends have all seen me naked. Watched me getting fucked."

He seemed surprisingly calm as he half shrugged and kind of nodded. "So what?"

As you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, you said, "I'm not ashamed of anything I've ever done, okay? And I would have told you about it after another date or two... before we slept together." When he remained silent you added, "I started out in the adult film industry when I was eighteen. I quit when I was twenty five. I just turned thirty last month, and I guess I was silly for thinking enough time had passed. But last night was a prime example of why I haven't even tried to date anyone. Ever, really."

Bob was gaping at you now. "Not ever? But you're... you're so..."

"I know," you said, cutting him off before he could finish. "I'm hot enough to do porn, but nobody wants to date me." 

You started to close the door again, but he scrambled. "N-No, that's not what I was going to say. I was going to say you're flawless. A-And I shouldn't have let you leave the bar like that last night."

Your fingers loosened on the door, and soon it was drifting away from you, opening wider for Bob as he stood there with an eager expression. God, you just really liked him. And he seemed like he was being sincere. "What would you have done differently last night?" you whispered. 

He started to reach for you before tucking his fingers in his jeans pocket. "I would have taken your hand in mine as soon as I saw tears in your eyes." You bit your lips as he added, "And I would have told you that I like you so much. And if you wanted to leave, then I would have driven you home right away and walked you to your door."

He liked you so much. If there was a chance that Bob could be the kind of guy who still liked you with your past as Roxy Luxxe but also wasn't just trying to get in your pants and meet her for himself, then you wanted to give him a shot. "What would you have done after you walked me to my door?"

He was breathing deeper like he was nervous, and you wanted to touch him. "I would have asked you for that goodnight kiss that I'd been hoping for all day."

You were rushing for his arms, clearly surprising him in the process, but he held onto you as you gave him just the softest kiss. "I would have let you have it." Bob's hands found their way to the most respectful spot on your back, and you kissed him a little deeper. 

As soon as you broke the kiss, his fingers flexed against your back, and he said, "I want to go on another date with you. A bunch more. But I want you to be sure about me. I don't really care about Roxy Luxxe. I'm sure she was lovely, but I like you." You laughed. You couldn't help it. And he smiled as he asked, "Maybe you can think about it today and let me know at work tomorrow?"

"Okay."

He nodded and let out the breath he was holding. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

Your back felt cold where his hands used to be as you watched him walk back to his truck. He waved to you as he pulled out of your driveway, and you waved back with a different feeling in your heart than you had twenty minutes ago.

---------------------------

Bob was disappointed to find he would be in the air on Monday. When he arrived on base, he changed into his flight suit instead of his khaki uniform, wondering what that would mean when it came to seeing you. He'd slept poorly, wondering what your answer would be, hoping you'd say yes to another date.

"Hey, Bob," Jake drawled as Bob zipped up his flight suit. "How was your night with Roxy Luxxe?" He had a devilish smirk on his face, and Bob's skin was crawling. All of the other guys were looking at him now, and he knew his face was beet red. 

"I guess she was as good as she looks on film if she rendered you speechless," Jake added with a laugh. 

"Whoa, no," Javy said, shaking his head at Jake before looking at Bob. "Cut it out, man."

Bob counted to five, took a deep breath and then raised his forearm, and at least Jake had the decency to look panicked. Bradley stepped into the fray as Bob used his arm on Jake's chest to push him back against the lockers. Sure, Jake was more muscular, but Bob was no slouch, and he had a couple inches on him. "Don't call her that again. Don't even talk about her. While you're at it, don't look at her either."

Jake raised one eyebrow and nodded slightly, and Bob released him, walking right out of the locker room and making a quick detour to the classroom. But you weren't there. He ran his hands through his hair before he headed outside to find Nat. 

"Hey, there you are," she said gently. "You okay? After the bar and everything?"

"I'm fine," he replied, still looking around. "Have you seen her?"

"Mmhmm," she hummed, pointing behind Bob, and he whirled around in time to see you walk out of the tower with Warlock and Cyclone. You looked as pretty as you always did, and Bob found himself wanting you the same way today as he had last week. All of the daydreams about making breakfast together after holding you in his arms all night were still there. So were the thoughts about you snuggled up, laughing on his couch. But now he could also imagine taking walks on the beach where you lived.

Your gaze met his, and he watched you excuse yourself from the admirals before heading his way. Nat squeezed his bicep, and muttered good luck before making herself scarce, and then Bob was standing there with you a respectable three feet in front of him. 

"Lieutenant Floyd."

He smiled softly. "Good morning."

"So..." you began, looking down at his boots and pressing your lips together. "I'm free on Wednesday night. Or pretty much all day Saturday." Your eyes trailed up his body until you were nervously examining his face. "What did you have in mind for our fourth date?"

He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He'd been so apprehensive, afraid you were going to tell him to beat it, he hadn't bothered to come up with an actual date idea. "Cooking dinner at my place?" he blurted out.

You nodded like that sounded good to you. "Wednesday night then?"

He couldn't remember if he already had plans, but if he did, he'd cancel them immediately. "Yes. Wednesday. The day after tomorrow. Wednesday."

Your soft laughter filled him up as you turned and started to walk away, giving him just one word. "Wednesday."

--------------------------

You showed up to Bob's place with just a bottle of wine. He promised to take care of the rest. An hour later, a completely homemade pizza with fresh mozzarella and herbs was baking in the oven, and you had your arms draped around his neck. His lips tasted like the pinot noir the two of you had started drinking while you made the pizza, and his body felt strong and sure. As of right now, you thought you'd made the right choice by coming here.

"I really like you," he whispered for the third time this evening, and you believed him. You liked yourself. Why shouldn't he? 

"I like you, too, Bob." You reached up and adjusted his glasses before letting your fingers trail back through his hair. As his hands slid slowly down to your hips, it was easy to imagine how he might be in bed. Authentic. Meticulous. Earnest. Just like he was at work. The thought thrilled you to no end, but you were also afraid of the way you'd feel afterwards if you rushed it just to get the first one out of your system. So you let him hold you like you were important. 

The timer buzzed, and Bob laughed as you jumped further into his arms. You buried your face against his neck. "It's not funny." But you were laughing, too, and his lips met your hair. "Okay, it's kind of funny."

His stomach was growling, so you slowly pulled yourself free of his arms so he could put on his oven mitts. "Looks good," he remarked, but your gaze was fixed on him. "What do you think, Honey?" 

Bob's eyes went wide as he set the tray down, like he couldn't believe what he'd said. Your heart was absolutely thundering in your chest. "Looks good," you whispered in agreement. You hadn't looked at it. You were sure it was fine. You'd eat anything anyway. But he called you Honey, and you didn't mind it one bit.

You shared the pizza side by side on his couch along with the rest of the bottle of wine, and Bob listened to you tell him about your friends you meet up with on Fridays. And then he told you about his deployment as he finished the last few drops of wine. 

"I never really talk about this with anyone but Nat. This is nice," he said softly.

"Is it lonely?" you asked, your voice barely a whisper as he set down his glass and looked at you. 

You didn't want to rush him, because you could tell what he was going to say was important. And it was. His voice was a little rough as he looked at you and said, "Somehow it's lonelier when I come home. It's worse than being on an aircraft carrier in that I can't really have anything for myself here. There's nothing waiting for me. And a lot of the time, I feel like it would be too much to ask someone to do that. To wait for me. It would be a lot for someone to accept."

When you crawled onto his lap, he didn't stop you. And when you tilted his face up to make him look at you, his cheeks flushed pink, but his hands found your hips again. "I understand exactly how you feel." 

Then you kissed him, and you didn't stop for probably hours or maybe days. It felt that good. When you ended up beneath his warm body, you were so happy he came to your house on Sunday morning with your credit card. "Bob," you whimpered, and that seemed to bring him back from wherever his head was while he kissed his way down your neck and along your chest. His hair was a mess from your fingers, and his lips were a little puffy from the kisses, and you were pretty sure he wouldn't let you down again even if his friends were idiots.

You'd broken the spell, but he didn't seem to mind as he stood and pulled you to your feet. "It's getting late. We have work in the morning. Let me walk you to your car?"

At this rate, you were afraid you'd let him do anything he wanted, because he held your hand the whole way there. And he kissed you just right and told you he'd love to spend part of Saturday with you.

"Come over," you told him, and he promised he would.

----------------------------

It was chilly as Bob watched the sunset over the ocean from your back deck, but his body was warm from the combination of having you and your fleece blanket wrapped around him. You fit perfectly in his arms. Frankly, you seemed to fit pretty perfectly in his life. He wouldn't mind spending all of his Saturdays like this, listening to your gaming recap from the night before while you occasionally kissed the side of his neck. Your fingers were laced with his, and when you asked if he wanted to share a bottle of wine you got when you were in Napa Valley, he responded with a different question. 

"Is there any chance you'd want to be my girlfriend?" You shivered in his arms, so he wrapped you up a little tighter. "I can't stop thinking about you being the one waiting for me to get home from a deployment."

You didn't speak right away which made him apprehensive. He'd somehow been the one to push things too fast. This was something he'd never managed to do before. You tightened your grip on his hand as you said, "Bob... people are going to recognize me. It's going to happen sometimes, no matter what I try to do about it, and I-"

He cut you off with a kiss. "I don't care about that, Honey." Then more kisses. The bottle of wine in your kitchen was left forgotten as you carefully slipped one leg over Bob's lap and sat straddling him. You kept the blanket wrapped snug around both of you, your body nestled against his as your foreheads met. "I just really like you."

The sun had disappeared below the horizon. Everything was pink and purple and dusky and dreamy as your cheek nudged his glasses making him smile. "If you think you can handle being my boyfriend, then I'm not going to try to stop you."

Heart pounding, he asked, "So is that a yes?"

"Yes." Your kisses were slow and soft, and Bob kept chasing the smile on your lips, because he couldn't get enough. With his eyes closed, all he could hear was the ocean below and the soft sounds you made. All he could feel was your body everywhere. You smelled familiar. You tasted good. 

As you ran your fingers through his hair, your other hand trailed down to his shoulder, along his bicep and then across his chest. When Bob dared to let his hands dip from your waist to your hips and butt, you scooted a little bit closer. He realized when your fingers skimmed his abs that he had an erection. 

Embarrassed, he tried to break the kiss and move his hands, but as soon as he started to move, you pulled away first. In the dying light, he could see your wide eyes and the alluring rise and fall of your chest. Part of your lace bra strap was showing, and your nipples were obviously hard. His cock throbbed in his jeans as you asked, "Do you want to stop?"

He knew you could read the desire on his face. When he started to shake his head, you rubbed yourself against his jeans where he was hard for you. "No," he grunted, head tipping back as he panted. "I don't want to stop."

"Good," you whispered next to his ear, lips barely grazing him. "Neither do I." You took his hands in both of yours and brought them back up to your body, encouraging him to touch every curve.

He gasped your name as he watched you slowly rolling your hips against him, seemingly in no hurry as you bit your lip. When he reached for the hem of your shirt, you didn't stop him, and he tossed it aside. Your body looked magical in the twilight, and as he reached for your bra clasp, realization hit him. 

You were used to a certain caliber of partner for these kinds of activities. Standards he probably couldn't meet. "You're hesitating again," you whispered, voice breaking a little bit on the last word. "If you don't think you want to do this with me, I completely understand, Bob."

It was getting difficult to read your expression in the darkness, but when you stopped touching him and pulled your arms to your sides, he started to panic. "It's not that," he promised. "But you've been with... p-professionals. Guys who know what they're... doing." He ran his hands through his own hair. "And I'm not the most experienced. I've only had two partners."

"Oh, Bob," you moaned, and his cock ached at the sound. He wanted you. His whole body was screaming for it, and then he watched as you unhooked your own bra and let it slide down your arms and fall from your fingers. Your body was flawless, back arched, every curve designed to make him crazy. He made a sound somewhere between a groan and a whine as you leaned in closer and kissed him. "You'll be so much better."

Your bare skin was everywhere as the blanket slipped from around you. Bob's hands splayed across your back to keep you warm, but the supple feel of you had him thrusting against your core as he gingerly ran his thumb along the side of your breast. "So much better!" you whispered before pulling his bottom lip between yours.

He was still a little nervous, throbbing against you in his pants like a teenager as he cupped your breast in his rough palm. When you trailed your lips down his neck, he said, "I just want to be good enough for you."

Bob was thankful it was dark and you couldn't see him blushing as you nipped his earlobe and giggled. "Bob. You're better, because you're real. And you're turning me on, because we're not faking anything." You moved your right hand down between your bodies and squeezed his cock through his jeans as you sucked on his neck. "There's nothing fake about this."

He was gasping as he reached for your hand. "Honey." He couldn't take too much more teasing, or at this rate, he'd finish before his pants were off. "Can we go inside?"

You were off his lap and reaching for him with both hands, pulling him to his feet and closer to you. "My bedroom sound good?"

"Yes." 

It was honestly difficult to walk. You led him through the sliding glass door and inside where the soft lighting somehow made your topless body look even more stunning. You brought him down the short hallway to your room, walking backwards and looking up at him with a smirk as you unzipped his jeans. He made another unintelligible noise as he watched the way your breasts swayed and bounced with each movement. 

Your bedside lamp provided the only light, and Bob was still looking around, trying to get his bearings, when you pulled his shirt and undershirt off. "Oh," you gasped, running your palms up his flat stomach to his slightly broader chest. "God." He couldn't fathom that you liked what you saw and felt enough to leave you panting his name, but you definitely were. Then your hand was down the front of his unzipped jeans, and he grinned as you tried your best to wrap your hand around his length, your eyes growing wide. "Bob."

And now he wasn't really nervous, because this actually felt really easy and good with you. You were giving him all the queues that you wanted more. You were kissing him as you stumbled to the bed. You were trying your best to get your hand around his cock, but you couldn't. He picked you up and hauled you up to the pillows, and you squealed. All he could see was your beautiful smile as you kissed him over and over, only pulling away to run your nose along his cheek and whisper his name. 

He watched you shimmy out of your yoga pants and underwear and push them aside, and it was no wonder you were able to make a career out of using your body the way you did. But if most of that was just acting, then he wasn't going to let you down now. He watched as your head tipped back, and you pressed yourself up against his hands when he gently squeezed your breasts. Mesmerized by all of this, he let his hands drift down over your ribs and along your sides until he was met by your hips.

Bob worked his hands slowly back up your body and down again, pausing to press his lips to your breasts as you arched for him again. You felt soft, and you were sensitive, running your bare foot up and down his leg as you whimpered. When he squeezed your hips again, he let his gaze fall below your belly button.

His voice was soft and deep as he asked, "Is it okay if I taste you, Honey?"

You instantly spread your legs a little wider, grabbed him by his hair, and said, "Please."

---------------------------

Bob's hands were huge, with thick veins and graceful, calloused fingers. All he was doing was touching you and kissing you, and you were very fucking worked up. This was already a treat, just being with a guy who wasn't grabbing at you and trying to shove his cock in your mouth. But it was more than that. It was the soft tone he used when he said your name and the way he was looking at you. 

Gentle but strong. That was how you'd describe your newly minted boyfriend. You smiled at him as he stroked his fingers down your sides. You hadn't had a boyfriend in years, and Bob was so sweet and handsome, it was absolutely outrageous. 

"Is it okay if I taste you?"

All of that and he wanted to go down on you? "Please." Your voice was needy, and your body was so ready for him. You eased your thighs further apart so he could see all of you, and you let your fingers tangle in his soft hair. You were so excited, and when the wire rim of his glasses brushed the inside of your thigh, you shivered with pleasure. 

Then his lips met your pussy, and you almost went through the fucking ceiling. Those big hands were at your waist, holding you in place on the bed as he licked up along your slit, slowly tasting every inch before he hummed softly. You wanted to watch, but you could barely lift your head off of the pillow as he licked up again and again before kissing your clit. 

When you managed to prop yourself up on one elbow, you got a great view of his big cock hanging out of his unzipped jeans when he lifted his head away from your body. "Does it feel good?" he asked, and you laughed. He pulled away from you further, concern on his face as you started to reach for him.

Your nails scraped along the day's worth of stubble on his cheek as you sat up and kissed him, tasting yourself. You licked at his lips and chin, cleaning up the wetness before you whispered. "It feels better than good."

A few seconds later, you were on your back again, legs over his shoulders as he ate your pussy with fervor. All of your nerve endings were singing his praises. He had you spread with his rough thumbs, and when he looked up at you, even his nose was wet. Your hands were fisted at your sides while you gently rolled your hips against his mouth and whined at the perfect feel of him. "Shit. Fuck," you gasped. He sucked on you with just the right amount of pressure, and your toes were literally starting to curl. "Bob!" 

All you got in response was another hum of pleasure that made you squeal followed by some seriously lewd, wet sounds. His broad shoulders pushed against the backs of your thighs, and you felt him teasing at your opening with the tip of one finger. Tongue circling your clit, he glanced up at you over his crooked glasses. His cheeks were pink, and there was a sheen of sweat on his forehead as you reached for his hair again. "I want you to fuck me."

"Okay," he agreed, nodding his head like he hadn't brought you close with his mouth. He looked a little dazed and pussy drunk, and you thought you could fall in love with that expression on his handsome face. 

"Come here," you whispered, kneeling so you could kiss him. "You taste like me," you added, licking his cheek and chin. "And I love it."

"Honey," he growled, and when you looked down, you could tell he was aching. You pushed him onto his butt and helped him the rest of the way out of his jeans and snug briefs, his thick cock bouncing for you. Then you looked at him there in just his socks and glasses, and your entire body clenched with a need you'd never known before. 

You took his cock in both hands, leaned down and kissed away all of his precum while every muscle in his abs and both legs tensed up. "Holy shit," he gasped. When you tugged on his shoulders, he moved with you, covering your body with his own. His weight and warmth against your bare skin felt essential to your happiness, and when you kissed him, he said, "And you taste like me." 

His cheeks flushed a pretty pink as you ran your tongue along his lips. You couldn't get enough. He shifted his body slightly, and his cock came to rest on your slick clit, making you moan into his mouth. You arched away from him, moving your hips back and forth a few inches at a time, using his body to bring yourself pleasure as you clung to his arms. "God, Bob. You haven't even been inside me yet, and I'm a mess." 

The veins in his neck and forehead were more prominent as he panted, a bead of his sweat rolling down to the tip of his nose. You licked it away as you shifted your hips so he was positioned at your entrance. He was thick, and even though you were soaking wet now, you had to use one hand to help guide him. You shook your head from side to side, your body taking him slowly. He buried his forehead to your neck, and the bite of his glasses against your collar bone kept you grounded. 

"Honey," he moaned, clutching at your hips as he finally, finally bottomed out. You were completely full, already clenching around him softly and enjoying the rough feel of his trimmed hairs against your clit. He thrusted a few times like he couldn't help himself, and you kissed his forehead. "Am I hurting you?"

His neck was a little slick against your fingertips. You'd been fucked too rough or without enough lubrication to the point of it being painful several times before, but this was the exact opposite. "Bob, you feel incredible." He lifted his head and kissed your lips, rewarding you with another thrust. Your legs tangled with his as you pushed his hair back from his forehead and kissed him harder. 

His lips found their way to your neck and breasts, and his thrusts started coming quicker, but every smooth movement left you gripping at him, your body begging for more as you whimpered and whined. He murmured your name against your skin, sucking on your nipples until you were seeing stars. And each thrust filled you somehow better than the last. And every movement left you grinding your clit up for more. 

You were going to come. You were going to come so hard. You could feel it. The buildup was delicious. Lips and stubble and glasses on your breasts. Hands on your hips. Bob everywhere.

"I'm not wearing a condom. Honey," he panted. "I'm not wearing a condom."

"It's okay," you whined loudly, suddenly gasping and clawing at his shoulders for leverage. "You can come wherever you want."

He chose inside you. And you came, hard and long and loud, hands on his face while you kissed him. You knew he was going to be so much better. You called it from the start. From when he surprised you by asking you out for coffee. He was immediately better than anything else you anticipated for yourself, and even when he fumbled, he recovered. You ran your lips along his cheek and back to his ear and whispered, "You're so much better than faking it."

He rolled both of you onto your sides, facing each other while he was still deep inside you. "Please don't ever do that. Fake it," he said, voice deep and raspy as he ran his rough palm along your cheek. "I want to know I'm good enough for my girlfriend." 

You smiled and tucked your head under his chin, and he wrapped his arm around you. His skin was warm beneath your lips, and his words were soft and gentle. When he climbed out of bed, he asked where he could find a washcloth, and he came back with it a minute later, ready to help you get cleaned up. He even held your robe out for you and waited while you used the bathroom, but you did that quickly, finding you wanted to be right next to him as much as possible.

Bob looked delicious in his briefs and undershirt, and you wrapped your arms around his waist as you asked, "Do you want to go back out under the blanket? With the bottle of wine? We could look at the stars. Listen to the ocean before bed."

He kissed your forehead. "As long as I'm with you."

-------------------------

Six months later...

After eight weeks away, Bob was excited to get home. He really hoped this was the start of his deployments feeling lonelier than the time between them did. Especially since he was going home to you and the house where he moved all of his stuff as soon as you asked him to live with you. He couldn't wait to hold you all night and hear all about your Dungeons & Dragons campaign and ask how you'd been enjoying work.

As soon as the aircraft carrier started docking in San Diego, he was at one of the lower railings along with the other aviators, and he spotted you immediately. You were bouncing around at the front of the crowd shouting his name and waving like a lunatic, and he had missed you so much. "Hey, Honey!" he shouted, and you just jumped higher. 

"Damn, Floyd. That's your girl?" asked one of the guys he'd flown with.

"Yeah," he replied, never taking his eyes off you. "That's my girl."

Six and a half minutes later, he was practically running down the long ramp with his duffle on one shoulder to the spot where you were waiting for him. 

"Bob!" you screeched as he scooped you up in your tiny dress and kissed you until you were as breathless as he was. "I missed you. I love you so much, and I missed you."

"I want to go home, Honey," he said, kissing you again. "Take me home."

"Gladly," you gushed, grabbing his hand and leading him toward his own truck. "I have big plans for your big cock," you announced to everyone around you, and Bob felt his cheeks warm up. "Well, and the rest of you, too. We can make a pizza together and eat out on the deck."

"Anything you want," he promised, tossing his bag in the truck bed and pushing you against the door. "And I love you, too." 

You only let him kiss you for a few seconds, before you were pushing him away. "I know you do. Let's go home." You held his hand on the short ride, and when he pulled in the driveway, you yanked him right out and led him inside the house. 

This felt incredible, knowing you wanted him as badly as he wanted you, running hand in hand to the bedroom. Then you stopped short and turned to face him as he bumped into you with a laugh. "You know how you're kind of your alter ego right now when you're in your uniform? Lieutenant Floyd?"

"Yeah?" he whispered, leaning down to kiss you, but your lips curled into a smile as you backed away.

"Well... I thought you might like to meet my alter ego?" you asked softly, easing that little dress up to your hips and along your torso before pulling it over your head. You were standing there in the tiniest black thong and bra set known to mankind. "Do you want to meet Roxy Luxxe?"

Bob just nodded and reached down to palm himself through his khaki pants as he gaped at you and grunted, "Uh huh." If Roxy was just a playful extension of his girlfriend, then yes, he wanted to meet her. 

You bit your lip and coaxed him toward the bed, running your hands down your body to your hips where you played with your underwear. "Good. Because she wants to meet you, too. And she wants you to know she's only going to be available exclusively for Bob Floyd's enjoyment."

---------------------------

Thanks for reading this long one-shot! I wanted Bob to get to fuck a former pornstar, because nobody deserves such a treat the way Bob does! But then I got attached to them and had to make it special. Bob and the artist formerly known as Roxy Luxxe are adorable together. Thanks to @mak-32 @beyondthesefourwalls @thedroneranger and @sylviebell for your help!

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I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE REST OF THIS SERIES!!

Secret Sacrifices // Jake Seresin

Prologue: [BrainBox]

Summary: Managing the Hard Deck isn’t always easy, especially when a certain Naval Aviator is always just one step away.

Warnings: Illusion of family loss. Jake Seresin X F!reader. Witness Protection Reader. Situationship. 18+ Content.

Word Count: 1.6k

Author Note: I’m getting back into writing after a few weeks hiatus, any feedback, comments and concepts will be greatly appreciated.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

The human brain can be seen in scientific communities as the most mysterious organ in the human body. The human mind can generate up to seventy thousand thoughts a day, which means there are around two thousand nine hundred thoughts created every hour. 

“Mommy!”

The human brain can store around about two point five terabytes of information at any one time. That capacity of storage is equivalent to about three million hours of television reruns or one million high-quality photos. Take your pick. 

“Come on—wake up! WAKE UP PATRICK!” 

The human brain can generate an electric current of about twenty-three watts. That’s enough to light up a round bulb. And although the human brain only accounts for two percent of your total body weight, it consumes more than twenty percent of the human body's total energy. 

“Please don’t leave me, not now—oh god please don’t leave me.” 

The length of all blood vessels in the brain, if combined, would reach a maximum length of about one hundred and sixty thousand kilometres. That’s enough distance to wrap about the earth’s circumference four times over. 

“Mommy I’m scared!” 

Each nerve neuron in the human brain has up to ten thousand connections with other neurons, not only that, but there are upwards of one hundred billion neurons in the brain. Which means there are more than one thousand trillion neuron connections formed in the human brain. 

“We just have to keep running baby.”

The amygdala, a part of the brain responsible for coordinating emotions, has an information processing speed of upwards of twenty ms. This speed is even faster than the speed at which humans can perceive something. 

All of these facts lean towards the idea of the human brain being some sort of supercomputer that we have been given. Programmed into our very existence by evolutionary biology. 

“No baby girl you stay with Mommy, it’s okay—don’t you close your eyes again okay?”

And yet? Despite all the wonders and capabilities that the human brain can accomplish—Your brain keeps you stuck in a time loop of unimaginable grief and despair. 

“Brewer?” The world around you had seemingly stopped for a few moments. The regular Friday night hustle of the Hard Deck had all but dissipated into silence when the overwhelming haunting noises of your own personal hell had become too loud to drown out. “Hello? Earth to Brewer?” 

“What?” You frowned as you shook yourself back into existence. What you found, or more accurately, who you found standing before you across the bar made your heart skip a panicked beat. “Jesus Seresin, you scared the hell out of me.” You sighed as you felt your heart beating rapidly inside your chest. The same heart that had loved and lost so much. The very heart that right now was plagued with the dilemma of falling for the sandy blonde who stood before you with eyes that could rival the Emerald City itself. 

“How?” Jake questioned as a confused frown took over his face soon after the words left his mouth. “I’ve been standing here for like two minutes just watching you zone out like some space cadet.” The chuckle that escaped Jake's slightly parted mouth soothed your beating heart into a steady rhythm. 

Oh. How long had you been zoned out for?

“What can I get ya?” You decided to let it go as you shot Jake a short but harmless smile. There was no need to ask or spend too much time focusing on how long you’d been stuck standing still cleaning the same spot on the bar over and over while your thoughts consumed you. Besides, you didn't really want to know how long Jake had been standing there looking at you like a moth drawn to a flame. 

“The usual, times four thanks barkeep—“ Jake replied as he reached into his back pocket, finishing out his wallet. A simple brown leather moment that always made you feel like your past was trailing right behind you. “Plus a lemonade with lime for the underage Back Seater.” There it was, that signature Seresin smirk accompanied with that wink. Insufferable. Cocksure. Endearing. 

“Four Budweisers and a lemonade coming right up.” You smiled once again as you threw your bar towel over your shoulder and got to work. Jake took the time to perch himself on one of the empty bar stools that littered the outskirt of the bar. Patrons buzzed around the Hard Deck like there wasn’t a care in the world to be had on a Friday night. “And lay off Bob, he gets your drunken ass home more often than not so you should be more thankful for his intolerance to alcoholic beverages.” 

Jake beamed at your lighthearted remark, they came few and far between. Whenever he was graced with the pure nature of your smile or your dry sense of humour, Jake reveled in it. So much so the crush he harboured had become common knowledge to half of Miramar. Yourself included. He wasn't a shy man, far from it. Jake knew what he wanted and, usually, he got it. 

But you? You had been playing hard to get and hard to crack ever since you showed up to the Hard Deck around six months prior. From the first moment Jake saw you he’d been caught hook, line, and sinker. Six months of chasing the same girl round in circles. 

“What had you lost, Brewer? Daydreaming on the clock isn’t usually your thing?” Jake asked as he got comfortable, leaning forward on his elbow as he watched you grab four Budweisers from the cooler fridge beneath the bar. He didn't miss the look on your face, the one that would occasionally replace the mild-maned stare you'd give off to slightly agitating customers. It was a look Jake couldn't really read–one that he wasn't sure if he would ever get to the bottom of, but he let it go, didn't press.  

“Just got caught up thinking about how I'm gonna spend my Sunday off.” Of all the lies you could’ve made up that seemed to be the most believable. 

“What are we doing on Sunday, Brewer?” Jake teased as you placed the still-capped amber bottles on the bar before him. The smirk he wore said it all, he was waiting for you to bite. And bite you did. 

“God, you've got tickets to your own show don't you, Seresin?” You shook your head with a laugh as you popped the caps on the beers you'd collected. “I– am planning a reset, just have a lot of housework to get done, laundry, meal prepping, self-care.” You teased the meaning behind self-care as you reached for the soda gun. “Which reminds me I need new batteries.” 

Jake caught the look in your eyes as you filled the glass to the brim with ice with your free hand and let the liquid drain from the gun. “Kinky girl, you sure we aren't hanging out on Sunday?” The smile, that damn infection smile that could light up the darkest of rooms made your head spin. But you couldn't go there. Harmless flirting was one thing, but crossing that line could cost Jake everything. 

He wasn't even aware of how close he was tempting death. How close he was standing to fire. How close he was standing to a woman who had lost everything in the name of being a good person. 

Unlike Jake, you had already lost everything. 

“In your dreams, Bagman.” You chuckled lightly, Jake's order was all but done. “Cash, Card or on Bradshaw's Tab?” The question remained unanswered for a few moments as Jake just sat there taking in the sight of the bartender who had him wrapped around her finger with ease. A spot he wouldn't mind staying forever if you'd let him. But for now? He knew he had to play the long game: Catch me if you can! you had forced him to play. 

“You tempt me, but card it is.” Jake confirmed as he fished his card from his wallet. “Someone has to keep Rooster from going into financial ruin.” It only took a few seconds for you to place all of Jake's drinks, the four beers and one lemonade with lime, onto a carry tray. “I think Payback’s been piggybacking on his bar tab too.” Jake smirked as he gave you an all-knowing look. You had been caught red-handed, but it was all circumstantial evidence at best. 

“Never took you as a softy.” Bradley Bradshaw still owed you an apology for his drunk and disorderly behaviour a few weeks ago. Behaviour that saw him hurling abuse your way when you cut him off. The guy was going through a breakup of sorts, of course you felt bad. But until he said he was sorry? His tab was racking up a pretty penny of top-shelf liquors and extra beer orders from the boys. “But fine, tap your card whenever you’re ready.” 

“This place is starting to charge a premium price for cheap booze ever since they hired a new manager.” Jake let out a sigh laced in banter as he paid for his order, the tip he left never went unnoticed either. Jake was good like that, he always tipped with a smile and a few extra bucks to make his almost cheesy pickup lines and banter worth your while. “And there's a lot of things you don't know about me Brewer.” With one final wink and signature smile, he was off. 

“Funny.” You mumbled to yourself as you watched Jake walk away back towards the same booth the boys all lingered around whenever they weren't hogging the pool table. The same booth you frequented the most. The same booth you gave a little more attention to–because Jake Seresin, despite all your might, had a hold on you that you couldn't seem to get out of. 

“I guess I could say the same damn thing.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

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AHHHH THIS IS SO GOOD, IS THERE GOING TO BE A PART 3??

Broke my golden rule for you (Part II): Jake "Hangam" Seresin x fem!reader

A/N: After finding out that people enjoyed the fic I decided to make a part two (maybe even turn this into a little serie). This chapter is still a bit angsty but I promise fluff is on the corner. Likes and reblogs are appreciated 💜 Part I here

Summary: After discovering that his intructor, Maverick, also happens to be your father Jake comes to Hard Deck looking for an explanation from you. A little discussion makes you wonder who is relly to blame for your breakup years ago.

Words: 1200

Type of fic: Angst, exes meeting up again

Warnings: Amelia being sarcastic, Jake is still a dickhead but he is trying to get better I swear

Hard Deck was usually pretty quiet in the mornings, a few truckers sipping their shots, people with their coffee before heading to work, and sunbathers about to go to the beach. You were convinced that Penny didn't really need your help to run the bar that day, but she had insisted that you come along. "For old time's sake" she had said. You didn't mind, it was a good way to catch up with her and her daughter while you all worked. But around noon, he showed up again. At that moment you were attending a customer and Amelia was next to you wiping the counter. She was the one who gave you a nod to let you know that Jake was there.

-Were you going to tell me at any point in our relationship that you were the daughter of Maverick? The one who now happens to be my instructor?- he asked with a sort of consumed anger as he sat down on one of the stools

-Seresin, I told you that my father worked as a pilot in the navy and you knew that my last name was Mitchell. If you didn't know how to draw conclusions all by yourself, then you are dumber than I thought- you replied, not even bothering to look at him, and started to clean up a beer mug

-Do you know how many Mitchells are in the navy? You could have at least mentioned that he was first in his class in Top Gun- he continued, still indignant at the fact that you had kept that from him when you first met

-Actually, he was the second one- remarked Amelia from her seat

-And who is she?

-It's good to see you too, Jake- she replied, sarcasm could be distilled from every one of her words

-Amelia?

-Did you think she'd stay eleven forever?- to your own dismay, you couldn't help letting out a smile at Jake's incredulous expression

He still couldn't imagine it. Amelia, the little girl who followed you everywhere in your first months as a waitress, was now a teenager. It seemed like only yesterday when the two of you helped that little girl make castles in the sand and swim at the beach when he had an afternoon off. He remembered vividly the time you had to take her with you to a date at the drive-in movie because Penny couldn't stay home late. At first, he had received the news with disappointment. But then, seeing you so happy taking care of the little girl, convinced him that it wasn't really that bad. You and Amelia had fallen asleep on the way home, hugging each other in the back seats. Looking at your serene face, he realized how in love he was.

It was only when he noticed how Amelia had grown that he realized you had also changed. There was a certain gleam in your eyes that said you had become stronger. It's not like you were a damsel in distress when you two met either, maybe that was what made him fall in love with you. He couldn't say exactly why, but he found you even more beautiful than the first time.

-No, but... -for a few seconds he didn't know what to say- What I came to ask you was, why you didn't tell me that Maverick was your father?

-I don't know, Jake- you raised your voice, getting angrier by the minute. He had no right to come to you and ask for explanations. Not after what he had done- I guess I wanted you to see me just as y/n, not as the daughter of the famous Pete Mitchell. Besides, what difference does it make now? We haven't spoken in years- you admitted, still hurt by the memory of all that

-So you didn't tell him about us?

Only two reasons had brought Jake to Hard Deck that morning. The first was to find out if Maverick was aware of what had happened between the two of you. Having his teacher discover that he had broken his daughter's heart, though unintentionally, would be a threat to his possibly choosing as the leader of the mission. It was a selfish motive, but it was a motive after all. The second reason had carried much more weight in his decision, no matter how much he tried to deny it to himself. He needed to see you again, to try to make things right.

-Of course, I didn't! Who do you take me for? Besides, I promised him I'd never date a pilot- a slight shade of red stained your cheeks and you tried to hide it as best you could

-But you couldn't resist me- that smile came back on him, and he leaned more on the counter to get closer to you. Just like he used to do when he was trying to convince you to go out with him

-God you are still as self-centered as always- you tried to go to the box while rolling your eyes

-You used to like it- he smiled again and took your hand so you wouldn't walk away. You didn't know how to react. God,you hated him at times.  You just stared at each other for a while, just like the first time.

-Jake, I think it's time for you to leave-Amelia said, she knew you well. She was aware that she had to get you out of that situation, or you'd be in trouble. But Jake wasn't so willing to let you go, not again.

-I didn't want it to end like that, you know? I didn't even want it to end. I wanted to speak with you again, I really did. More than anything else in the world- his glance seemed sincere, you didn't really think he was lying. But you had learned not to believe him

-That apology comes a little late- you pulled your hand away

-I'm serious y/n. I really loved you- he was too afraid to add “I still do”-but I couldn't be with you- he assured, even though he had given up all his hope. He had lost you for the second time

-And what was stopping you?- you snapped with anger

No answer was heard, Jake just moved his lips without uttering a sound. As if replying to your question would cause him to have a problem. However, you understood him perfectly. You couldn't believe it, you stood there with your mouth open, and he just nodded slowly before leaving the bar. Amelia also recognized what he had said, you shared a glance, neither of you knew if it was true. A few minutes later, when you finally recovered from the surprise, you went to Penny who was serving a table and asked her if you could take a break to solve a matter. After she gave you permission, you grabbed your motorbike parked next to the bar and started up. Worthy daughter of Maverick, that speed made you feel free. Now you were driving to the house of the person who might have been to blame for all this, looking for explanations.

It was time to pay a visit to Uncle Ice.