I Want Someone To Keep A Picture Of Me Tucked Inside A Heart Shaped Locket But Noo Its Always Whats Ur

i want someone to keep a picture of me tucked inside a heart shaped locket but noo it’s always “what’s ur insta?”

“I had a room to myself as a kid, but my mother was always quick to point out that it wasn’t my room, it was her room and I was merely permitted to occupy it. Her point, of course, was that my parents had earned everything and I was merely borrowing the space, and while this is technically true I cannot help but marvel at the singular damage of this dark idea: That my existence as a child was a kind of debt and nothing, no matter how small, was mine. That no space was truly private; anything of mine could be forfeited at someone else’s whim.”  ― Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

You knew what you wanted and, boy, you got her.

ttpd is like... this fucking sucked... it was my fault... fuck joe... this also fucking sucked... fuck matty... i thought i was gonna die... straight up commit me to an asylum... FUCK matty... fuck joe... no one knows me... fuck kim kardashian... i created every problem and every consequence i have to face... please see me as human... i am exposing my flaws so you see me as a real person... fuck jake gyllenhaal... if you're gonna be so up my business you better realize how fucked up my business is... also hi killatrav ily... there is nothing redeeming about this chapter of my life... hi mom ily... this ALSO fucking sucked... there may be good in the world... here is every sin i have ever committed... i was promised love and forever repeatedly and no one ever delivered... my reaction to trauma was awful... i made so many bad decisions... if you're gonna crucify me do it for good reasons... are you not entertained?

my journals have lived just as many lives as i have

(this is only 2 years of archive)

Feeling the blues, out of nowhere.