Reasons Why Bella Swan Should've Been A Lesbian:

reasons why bella swan should've been a lesbian:

1: she wears flannels

2: it would've made a great plot line for her to have rosalie as a love interest

3: no reneesmee or whatever bullshit that whole part of the story was

4: everything she does just RADIATES lesbian energy

5: people thinking jacob and edward both fighting for bella, when in reality, they're trying to impress one another

6: my eleven year old statement still stand four years later

7: i really wanted some good rosalie and bella content okay

There's something so deeply evil about making fun of and blaming regular Chinese people for a virus all while they're the ones suffering through it, dying and losing family members and friends as if the victims created the virus on purpose with their own hands specifically to annoy you like if this had happened in germany or something everyone would be like #prayforgermany #iamparis like i hope you die

just imagine how it must've gone when jasper and emmett first met in 1950

emmett, giving alice and jasper a toothy grin while wildly shaking their hands: WELL HOWDY Y'ALL, THE NAME'S EMMETT, AND BOY AM I GLAD TO MEET YA. QUOTEE THE ROOTIN' TOOTIN' DAY, IF I'D SAY

jasper, nearly in tears: where have you been all my life

i love the portrayal of our lil texan cowboy jasper being an absolute hick but consider this: we should be doing all that to emmett.

you’re telling me that our boy from tennessee isn’t gonna walk around in overalls with wheat sticking out of his mouth, ready to pluck a raunchy lil tune from his banjo? you think anybody can understand a damn word he says with that vernacular and all his whack ass sayings his mama taught him?

#make emmett a tennessee hillbilly 2k20

hey vampires! im very stupid and have so much blood

giving twilight characters new heights

am i the only one who hates the fact that alice is four foot eleven? everytime i see canary of the cullens where alice goes by her book height, looking so small next to literally everyone else, i automatically think

a cHiLd????

the heights in the twilight books are so whack: every male is over six foot two (men in the 1600s certainly weren't that tall, in carlisles case); rosalie, bella, and esme are the only ones with actual heights that made sense

so here's the heights im giving them based off how i really see them being:

carlisle: five foot seven or five foot eifhteight (the average height for men in the 1600s was about five foot six, but i can see him being slightly taller for that time being)

esme: five foot five

edward: five foot nine

rosalie: five foot nine, you can literally try to pry it from my fingers, but i refuse to think she's anything but this. she's a top, and every top i know is tall

emmett: six foot or six foot one. he really gives me the tallest vibes, but i can't see him being so aggressively tall. i know someone irl who looks and acts a lot like emmett that's around six foot one, and it just gives me such em vibes. will rub his height in edward and carlisle's faces

alice: i see her as five foot three, just barely smaller than esme and bella. smeyer had so many pedophilic innuendos in twilight, and there's a good chance the height difference may be part of that, since alice is shorter than my twelve year old brother. i don't see her being that painstakingly short, but just slightly smaller than average

jasper: five foot ten. i refuse to believe he's over in the six foot territory, no matter how canon it may be. ge just fives me five foot ten vibes

bella: home girl's five foot four or five foot five

bonus:

jacob: five foot eight. edward probably keeps making short jokes about him and jacob has to remind him that they're literally an inch apart

leah: five foot eight, again, every top i know is on the taller side of female average heights

seth: he'd grow to be five foot nine

reseesemenenene: she's be five foot two, and alice would never shut up about finally being taller than someone

aro: five inches tall

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy

I tried to scroll past this. I really did