Cute Little Ears, Too!

Cute little ears, too!

im just saying, i would be able to see an arctic fox if there was one nearby. i know what an animal looks like

I don't know, how about switching it off?

I love being in IT

I'm not in a habit of reblogging fanfic, but as a Star Wars fan, I find this is just so monumentally funny. It's the polar opposite to the 'Darth Jar Jar puts the final nail in Democracy's coffin' fanfics.

Tartle

“Therefore…” Jar Jar said, swallowing slightly to get over his nerves. “Mesa propose given emergency powers, to…”

Then his mind went completely blank.

He couldn’t remember the name of the guy he was meant to be giving emergency powers to.

He couldn’t remember the name of the guy’s office.

Boss? No, no, that wasn’t right… big bombad boss-man? No, that wasn’t it either!

The whole room seemed caught in a singing tension, and Jar Jar wasn’t sure if he was thinking quickly or if everyone was staring at him and that just made it worse.

Then he had a sudden realization.

The point of these emergency powers was to make it so they could rescue Padme and Anakin and Obi-Wan – and the boss guy whose name he couldn’t remember hadn’t wanted them, he’d said so, he’d just said it was necessary to cut through all of the gridlocken arguing.

But – but it didn’t have to be the boss man guy.

“-Jedi Master Yoda!” Jar Jar finished, in a gasp, then practically collapsed back on the seat of the senate pod.

Cheers and shouts immediately filled the Senate hall, calling for the approval of the motion, and Jar Jar swallowed because he felt short of breath.

This public speakin’ business was way scarier than fighting an army! And that was plenty scary enough itself, too…

Palpatine’s eyes twitched, and he forced himself to relax his hand.

He had been… outplayed. Disastrously so. In a way he had absolutely not anticipated.

That idiot gungan had seemed like the perfect patsy, and it had been so important to his plans that everyone agree with the need for the emergency powers… and that nobody suspect how much he dearly wanted and needed the authority to cut through the factionalism in the Senate.

It had taken decades of work to create that factionalism, of encouraging different groups to vote strategically to obfuscate their preferred courses of action on different subjects, so that nobody but himself was aware that three quarters of the Senate would vote according to his wishes because so many of them were persuaded that he was their highest placed and most secret ally.

All to create the gridlock that emergency powers would be needed to cut through.

But now… now that idiot gungan had ruined everything. Someone had pulled his strings so masterfully that Palpatine couldn’t even see them.

I keep seeing people say "play Outer Wilds, no, I can't tell you anything about it". Bitch. It's an exploration game about astronauts fucking around in space, doing archeology, astrology astronomy and science, with the gameplay itself consisting mostly of navigation in various 3D spaces with your legs or your trusty spaceship. There are interesting characters and tantalizing mysteries. It will require a fair bit of reading and thinking, it will sometimes test your speed, reflexes and precision. The story is about curiosity, courage, compassion, music, death, rebirth, and the terrifying vastness of space. The game can induce agoraphobia, claustrophobia, fear of heights, fear of depths and that which is unseen or hidden. Your character has four eyes and can roast marshmallows on any bonfire. Bitch.

Not that I should particularly care about this news as an Australian, but I'm pumped to experience my first "find out big world news via Tumblr" moment.

Biden dropped out, can you be the next president please

It would never work, I lack the raw sexual energy that Biden had in spades