We Both Knew.

We both knew.

Pairing: Mattheo x Reader

TW: black out, drugs, a little bit of angst?,lmk if there’s anything else

A/N: y’all I haven’t checked for any mistakes so, I’m sorry for that. And I recommend listening to ‘Where’s my love’ cus I was listening to it while I wrote this. So yeah.

LISTEN. TO. IT. 🤺🤺🤺

Also this is in Matt’s POV

We both knew.

I remember the first time I heard you laugh. Not the little by the side laugh. But the one, when you are genuinen.

We were both sitting at the black lake. It was night. I was telling you about the first time Theodore, Blaze and me got high. I was confused because you didn’t cover your smile with your hand. You were always covering it. But I didn’t care. Hearing you laugh so sweetly and seeing your eyes get smaller because of your cheeks, you know, it did something to me. I never felt something like that before. And I don’t mean the love part. I mean the part where I felt safe. You were, are my safe space. We would talk for hours, get high and laugh about stupid shit. Remember the time we got caught? Good for us, that we are good runners, huh? My lungs were bleeding, but it was worth holding your hand. I would gladly bleed for you again, if it meant holding your hands. Those hands, that wiped away my tears, cleaned my wounds, made me feel good, caressed my hair and baked your delicious pastries.

We both knew.

I remember how we used to play uno for hours on the ride to Hogwarts. I let you win most of the time. Seeing you get excited and laugh over me, made me feel something. We would talk for hours, trauma dump each other, without feeling ugly, disgusting or scared.

The ride back was something different. We were both quiet. You’d hold my hand and squeeze it occasionally, whisper sweet things and make me calm down. I would feel sorry for being quiet and just looking out the window every time. But I just couldn’t. Knowing that I was going back to that place, called home. It was more of a prison than home. I was in my own world most of the time. I couldn’t. I can’t.

We both knew.

I remember finding your paintings. I was looking for you, because you weren’t at class. I didn’t knew, that you were skipping classes with Pansy at the astronomy tower, because you always told me if you’d skip. I went to your dorm and looked everywhere. I was looking under your bed, when I found oil paintings. I knew you made them because of your signature at the bottom. You painted the black lake at night. Our not so secret, secret spot. We met there every morning, noon or night. It was beautiful. It had something peaceful about it. All those colors and little details, were mesmerizing and living in harmony. They reminded me of you.

We both knew.

I remember how I snuck into your dorm every now and then. It was wrong but, it felt right. Your touch made my skin feel on fire. It made me burn for you. I burn for you. Every kiss, every sound you made, it drove me crazy. You loved to tease me about it the next morning. But still.

We both knew.

I remember the time I passed out and you found me in my dorm. I don’t remember it all clearly, but your screams still echo in my head. You were horrified. You were so scared and fell on your knees. You put my head on your lap and stroke my hair while the others came running in. Draco told me, that you refused to let go of me until a teacher came. Lorenzo had to hold you back, while Tom carried me to the medical wing. They told me, that you thought that I was dying even though it was just an overdose.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw you asleep on the chair next to me. You looked not well. You woke up started crying again. We both were, I couldn’t hide it. I am sorry.

We both knew.

I remember your last birthday in Hogwarts. I bought you new paint brushes, new paint and a necklace I made myself. You were so excited and hugged me so deeply, that it made me feel alive. You used those brushes to make a painting of my eyes. It was very charming. You were very excited as you showed it to me. Your eyes got small and you didn’t hide your smile.

We both knew.

I remember explaining you with tears in my eyes. But you didn’t listen to me. You were furious, aggressive, sad and lost. I found you throwing up in the bathroom. You were grieving. I told you, that we both knew. We both knew that it was too dangerous. We both knew that we were feeling. We both knew we couldn’t.

We both knew.

We both knew it was too dangerous to be together.

We both knew that we were in love, but we were too scared to say it out loud.

We both knew that we were going to be hurt.

We both knew.

here’s the painting of the black lake and of his eyes, just try to imagine it’s his

AH YES, thank you bb😫

No cus the thought of poet!mattheoxreader is making me go crazy and I am too lazy to write it myself, so…

“𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐒”|| 𝐏𝐎𝐄𝐓!𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄

A/N: lol. I hope you like this one, and sorry if this isn’t how you imagine I write it. But I hope you like it. <3

Dear reader,

Smoking and love, both are an addiction,

A sweet poison that can’t be resisted,

The first puff of a cigarette,

Is like the first kiss,

A rush, a high, but there’s a price to be paid,

A love that consumes and takes away,

Leaves you empty, wanting more,

A desire that can’t be ignored,

Smoking and love, both are an addiction,

Hard to let go of, no matter how much you wish it,

The addiction stays with you,

A constant need to light and inhale,

The same way we fall in love and lose ourselves in the process,

Smoking and love, both are an addiction,

A cycle that’s hard to break,

But if we can, we’ll see the beauty,

Of a clear mind and a healthy body,

Smoking and love, both are an addiction,

A force that’s hard to resist,

But with determination and strength of will,

We can overcome them, and we’ll be free once again.

He sighed looking at his writing for his beloved. Ink filled hands as he held the quill. He scratched the back of his head, his messy brown curls bouncing with each itch. He didn’t care if it was late at night. He suddenly wanted to write how he felt with his two addictions in one. You and his smoking. With his poetic skills, his quill was like a sword ready to battle any paper he touched.

His love burns for you like one thousand cigarettes lighting up in one go. He hopes you endure this letter just like how you endured his craziness. He summoned an owl and let it flew away towards your dorm.

To his addiction.

Greetings mother,

I was send to thank your beloved and blessed hands.

with love,

Your children

LMFAO STOP HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU