I AM NOT OKAY

I AM NOT OKAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Being Different

A/N: Based on something that happened recently.

You stared at the food below you. It took an entire evening to make, not to mention the prep time. You knew it might have been different from what your colleagues were used to, but you still hoped someone would try. After all, how detested was a creamy sweet? Yet not one bowl was touched. You thought, perhaps, somehow, people had forgotten, but your mind always returned to the memory of the empty muffin box that sat beside your treats. You sighed. It wasn’t the biggest problem to deal with, but you didn’t want to waste food. You could have sweets every night, if it didn’t turn rancid before then. You could pass them around to everyone in the apartment, but your hesitated. It was inevitable. It just hurt.

It was in this situation that he found you. Eager to greet your return from work, the cherished smile fell from his face when he saw you mulling over the kitchen counter.

A known presence drew near your side. Turning, you saw Rafayel resting his head on his palm as he looked at the food. You gave him a small smile and ruffled his hair.

“Hey Fishy,” you spoke with warmth. “How was your day?”

Rafayel turned towards you, eyes full of love. He heard the weariness strain your voice.

“Better than yours, cutie”.

You shrugged, then nudged the food towards him.

“Want some?”

It was a casual question. You didn’t expect Rafayel to try some, especially since you never cooked for him before. Yet he reached for a bowl, and as he took a bite, it dawned on you that you both had different taste palates. There was no way he would like your food. It was, culturally, too different from the norm. Still, you smiled when he finished the bowl. Then, he reached for another. You smiled again, thinking he was being polite. Then, he reached for a third. Confused, you watched him as he went over the top with his politeness. When he reached for a fourth you stopped him.

“Are you forcing yourself to finish it? Please stop”.

You reached a hand out to take the bowl from him. Rafayel turned slightly, keeping the bowl out of reach.

“Is that an order?”

“No?” you replied, confused. “But it’s not good”.

“Says who?”

You hesitated, not wanting to rat out the people who, all things considered, were some of the best to work alongside with.

“It’s, different”.

“I’m also different,” came Rafayel’s cheeky response. He turned back towards you, mischief igniting in his eyes. “And I like it”.

He leaned over and gave a small peck to your ear.

“Let’s share some with Thomas and my aunt”.

You nodded, but he could see there was still hesitation in your eyes. He brought a spoon of the sweet to your mouth and waited till the familiar taste lit up your face.

“There will always be people who accept what is different”.

Sylus acted like he didn't care very much when his motorcycle got stolen but I have a feeling that he mobilized the entire organization to hunt it down the moment he realized it was gone

Because he has a picture of MC taped to his dash or a small trinket she gave him that dangles from one of his handles or something

The motorcycle doesn't really matter to him. He could always buy another one

But the gifts MC gave him? He wants those back no matter what

a chinese mianhuawawa doll (popular fandom merch) of zayne/li shen from love and deep space

and there are mhww of xavier/shen xinghui and rafayel/qi yu

Can you do the boys with a mentally unwell reader? Like she has depression, ocd, or anxiety that she takes medication for?

S/O Who Faces Mental Illness- The Love And DeepSpace Men

parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader tags: ( for all ) mentioning of depression/ depressive episodes, ocd rituals, anxiety/ social anxiety a/n: hi anonnie ! ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ sorry this took awhile, this was sitting in my drafts and i would keep coming back to it. i just wanted to make sure this topic is handled with care. i know that everyone has different types of depression, anxiety, and ocd so i wrote the ones that i'm familar with and gone through. i hope this was okay lmk ! ̤̮

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Xavier:

Xavier has always been such an attentive lover to you and he’s grown increasingly worried as he observed your unhealthy habits. He notices how you spend more time in bed than usual, longer than he would stay in bed. How you seem disinterested in eating, even if it were foods you typically enjoyed. Noticing how these impacts have affected you, he has made the effort to educate himself better on what you’re going through to understand and support you better.

If you were taking any medications, he'll read the entire packet that came with it or look up as much information he can online. He'll try to remember all the side effects that comes with it and makes sure to check up on you whenever you take them.

He notices when your energy plummets so it’s his duty to take care of you. He tries to make everything easy for you. He’ll make sure to tuck both of you in bed, turning off the lights when you both get ready, making sure to have food delivered when you wake up. Xavier encourages you to take a walk outside with him, helping you get some fresh air and encouraging you to step out of bed. He’ll hold your hand the entire time.

Distractions were one of the ways he could get your mind off any anxious thoughts or from any of your OCD rituals. He'll have a list of your favorite things to do and see if it helps. He'll stay with you in bed all day if that's what you need and wouldn't let you isolate yourself. Will also build a fort to cuddle you up in and have you tucked in his arms.

Anytime you two were out and you started to feel drained, then he'll take you back home. You two can stay in and cuddle.

He never pushes you beyond your comfort levels. If there was any situation where you started to feel uncomfortable, then he'll lead the situation and you somewhere else that sets you more at ease.

Zayne:

Zayne is no stranger to the topics of mental illness. He’s gone through extensive studies and many clinical experiences with patients. But with you, it's different. Your struggles aren’t just a clinical case to him, they’re personal. He’s acutely attuned to subtle changes of your mood and actions. He notices the quiet shifts in your expressions, or the way your eyes dull and lose their sparkle. Even though it’s hard to read through his expressions, it truly does hurt him to see you suffer. Your internal pain that you battle inside hurts him more than words can convey.

If you were to go through a depressive episode and you feel like you can’t do everything you need, then Zayne has no problem doing the extra housework or helping you with your physical health. He would reassure you to not feel guilty even though he’s busy with his work or any paperwork's. You have done so much as a loving partner to him and he will always return the favor for you.

He’ll help you shower and dress you up. He'll make sure to brush your hair gently and that you brush your teeth. He’ll even make sure you eat enough and he’ll praise you for taking every bites.

He’s always there for you. Even if he was in the middle of work, he would remind you to never hesitate to reach out whenever you feel isolated or just needed to vent, anything. Spam him, leave voice messages- he’ll read every word and listen to each message and reply with care. No matter how busy he might be, he’ll find a way to call you as soon as he can. He wants to make sure you’re okay and to remind you that you’re never alone, even when he’s away. Your well-being matters so deeply to him that he’s committed to be there for you in every possible way.

He'll keep note of all the side effects you've experienced with your medications, so he's aware of the potential issues that might arise when you take them. Will send you texts reminding you to take your meds at the right time and to make sure you eat before you take them so you don’t get nauseous.

He’s a very attentive and caring partner, he pays close attention to the triggers of your OCD and observes the coping mechanisms you have. He notices your struggle with hand washing compulsions and understands how these rituals can take a toll on you. He’ll try to help you by pointing out that excessive hand washing can actually be harmful, as it washes away the beneficial ones that your body needs.

He'll be very reassuring when you feel the need to constantly check up on things. He won't judge you for it but instead he'll offer to check on it himself and reassure you that everything is okay.

It wouldn’t be new to him to avoid places that were crowded or super noisy. He would know where all the less crowded and quiet places are. At this point, he already had taken the time to understand your triggers and sources of anxiety. He just wanted to be well-informed so he can help you avoid these situations and provide the support and care you need.

If you were to experience an anxiety attack, he remains calm and patient and helps you try to breathe. Whenever you need to vent, he’s always there for you. He’ll let you curl up on his lap while you talk, gently stroking your hair. Although he’s quiet while you talk, you know he listens to every detail and he doesn’t want to interrupt you. After you finish sharing, he’ll offer advice or discuss the situation to help you work through it together.

Rafayel:

He knows that you were going through significant struggles because it often kept you doing certain things with him. There are times when the weight of your depression and anxiety feels so heavy that it drains your motivation, making your favorite hobbies or simply just doing anything seem out of reach. Sometimes the intensity of your OCD leads you to stay up, unable to rest because you repeatedly check things like the light switches, doors, windows, and everything else in the house.

OCD is a topic that Rafayel wouldn’t tease or be playful on with you. He notices the small things when you repeat patterns or prefer certain number sets. He’s very patient and understanding about this topic but anytime you feel as if your ocd ritual was messed up, he is quick to run to your side and reassure you that everything will be okay.

Rafayel has been in a dark place himself so he knows the signs when you’re struggling. Whether you’ve been through this over and over again, he’ll help you through this every single time. If you don't have the energy to take a shower or a bath, then he’ll simply carry you and wash you himself. He’ll join you and use your favorite bath bomb scents and make it a little fun by blowing bubbles at you. A smile would curl up on his lips when he sees you smiling again.

He wouldn’t force you to talk. He’ll do most of the talking and hopefully it takes your mind off anything you were anxious about. When you are ready to talk, he’ll praise you. It’s a big step forward in healing and he would be listening attentively to everything you say.

Rafayel would text you throughout the day and ask how you were feeling. He's always there at your beck and call. If you need anything, he already has it and he's on his way to you.

If you were out in public and you started to feel uneasy, he would lead you somewhere else. Rafayel would always be holding your hand for security and to make sure you were always right by his side. He doesn't mind wherever you both go, as long as he's with you. He makes sure that you two can go to places that aren't crowded or noisy but still enjoyable and fun for the both of you.

He’s very worried whenever you take medications. He knows that they can have some mean and nasty side effects and that’s the last thing he would want you to go through. He’ll always make sure to check up on you a couple hours later to see how you’re holding up.

Sylus:

It does not take him long to notice you were acting off. Nothing can get past this man and he doesn’t want you to feel like you have anything to hide from him. No matter what the issue is, he isn’t leaving your side and you’ll both work on the issue together. He doesn’t want you to go through anything alone.

When you feel empty and you simply want to sink into your bed and lay there motionless because everything in the world was just too much, Sylus will not hesitate to take action. He’ll make sure you're eating nutritious meals by calling his private chefs or he’ll make them himself. He’ll sit right beside you and watch you take enough bites or he’ll spoon feed it to you himself. Sylus would make sure to tell you that you were doing so well even if the bites were big or small. After you are done eating, he’ll make sure that you take all your meds and check up on you if any of the side effects arise.

He’ll be right by your side at any doctor's appointments. He’ll carry you to the bathroom himself or he’ll use his evol to help wash, dry, and dress you up. Sylus would encourage you as well to go on walks with him so your body is still moving and so you can get some fresh air. He does all of this because he loves you and he doesn’t want you to lose any of the progress you made. He knows your capabilities and he knows you will get through this. He’ll be right by your side the entire time.

When he notices that your OCD rituals are becoming overwhelming, he doesn't hesitate to step in to help. He finds engaging activities for the both of you to do so it steers your focus away from the obsessive thoughts. Understanding how OCD can distort your perceptions, he uses distractions as a way to gently pull you out of that obsessive cycle.

Sylus would let you know that he’s accessible. Whenever you need him, feel free to call him any time and he’ll drop anything and come by to help you.

Don't even bother brushing off any of your issues. Anything that bothers you, he's always there to listen and help you. He’s a great listener and he never judges you for any problems you had and the reason behind your behavior. His shoulder is for you to lean on, cry on, laugh on, and hold on, etc. He’s understanding and wants you to be happy again.

When he’s away, he will have food delivered to you. He’ll make sure you eat and that you take your meds right after by calling or texting to remind you. Or he’ll just send Mephisto to you. He’ll caw/squawk repeatedly until you finish your meals.

Lads Rafayel: Cuppy Cake | SFW

To anyone who says Rafayel has a cake, that he has an ass. I want you to know you're wrong.

Pairings: Rafayel x Reader Warnings: Rafayel Slander, Flat Ass, Cursing I think, Crack Fic Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Blog Information | Masterlist

Rafayel

"Hey Raf," You said, walking over to the artist. For once he was standing by his canvas instead of sitting on the stool, working on a part that was higher up that needed a lot of detail. Rafayel let out a small hum as he turned to you.

"Need something?" He asked, already feeling a bit happy that you were the one trying to get his attention. Your eyes went from his face and slowly raked down his body until it landed on one particular asset that he was lacking in.

"Is it normal for Lemurian's to have a flat ass?" You asked after a moment. You watched in slow mo as Rafayel's brush stroke went down the canvas in his surprise. Instead of being mad about his painting, he turned to you with furrowed brows.

"My ass is not flat," he shot back at you. You looked down at his but again and let out a small hum.

"I mean…it's not a board…but like?" You walked over and cupped one of the cheeks. It did have the slightest jiggle to it, but you had seen far better asses in the past. Your hunting partner, Xavier, happened to have absolute cake in his pants.

"Did you really interrupt me to insult my ass?" Rafayel finally said with a sigh, swatting your hand away in the process.

"I'm not insulting it. I was just curious if that was a normal thing for Lemurians. Like you have a very…specific build." Rafayel was now fully turned to you, his arms crossing his chest which you were trying to look at now.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he said, already annoyed with your antics of the day.

"Like you've got massive honkers. Like H-cup tiddies that I want to hold in my hands. Just fucking fabulous habanbonkas. They're amazing boobs." You said and you watched as he slowly turned red, "But then you look at you ass and it's like…"

"Like…?" he said.

"Well it's not cake." It was a simply statement that had him glaring at you.

"I don't have…cake? Have you seen my ass?" Rafayel said, turning his body enough so you can look at it.

"Ya it's like…a cupcake at best. My lil cuppy cake boyfriend butt. It's cute." At your statement Rafayel let out an annoyed whine.

"It's not that small." he was now rubbing his ass and you shrugged.

"I was just wondering since it turns into like…a tail. And I ain't ever seen a fish with a massive booty before. Was thinking maybe it was common for Lemurians…but now that I think about it…Aunt Talia…" you were going to say something but Rafayel put a hand over your mouth.

"Do not talk about my Aunt's ass in front of me…wait were you checking her out?" His eyes were wide.

You tried speaking, but it was muffled by his hand. You licked his palm and he flinched away with a grimace, "How could I not? She's hot!"

"I can't believe you came into my art studio, on my island, to insult my ass, and tell me how you checked out my aunt." He murmured.

"You checked out Xavier when I introduced you two."

"I did not!"

"I can promise you, you were not looking respectfully in the slightest, Raf." he paused at your observation and pouted.

"Okay, maybe I did a little." He finally got out.

"Now see, he had cake. Bit it's fine, your tits are better. They bounce when you run." Rafayel went and covered his chest as soon as you said that.

"I feel objectified."

"As if you don't stare at my chest when I'm running." You called him out and he rolled his eyes.

"I still can't believe you'd say this to me." he muttered finally, only with a small hint of dejection in his voice.

"Awe, Raffie, don't be like that," you said as you wrapped your arms around his waist. Your head was placed between his chest as you looked at him with a smile, "I love you, flat ass and all."

"Stop calling it flat."

"Then start doing squats with me and building up that booty, babes." You laughed when you felt him hitting the back of your head.

"You're lucky I love you." he sighed.

"I love you too…now how do you plan on fixing your painting." you looked at the canvas and his eyes followed your gaze.

"I lied. I hate you."

"No you don't."