Yes! Thanks! I Love These Children. Well, The Protagonist, Tungsten, Hes The Sweetest Guy. He Has Just

Yes! Thanks! I love these children. Well, the protagonist, Tungsten, he’s the sweetest guy. He has just joined this band of traveling magicians and artists (the Elements), and he’s trying so hard to fit in. His biggest wish is quite simple: he wants to belong somewhere. But the antagonist, Espen, has his eyes set on the Elements. I don’t want to spoil how and why, yet! Espen isn’t brutal, but the end surely justefies the means to him. And he really believes in this end. By threatening the Elements, he forces Tungsten to help him spy on the very people Tungsten would love to call his friends. Poor Tungsten is going to feel pretty guilty for a while.    

does anyone want to come tell me about their wip or their ocs? im procrastinating hard here lads

But this is a paradox, is it not? Because what is braver than admitting you are not brave? If you can’t face the truth in the mirror, at least you can face the truth right here, in this piece of text. You have shown us. You have told us writers -  scared, trembling, bold writers - that you are afraid to speak out. And in doing so, you have confronted us and yourself with such a vulnerable, honest thing. 

Maybe you cannot stand up to anyone (yet). Maybe you cannot raise your voice (yet). Maybe you cannot confront (yet). But you can write about it. You are doing it right now. You are giving us the murky depth of your heart and you are defying the norm by admitting your doubts.

Why do I write? Why do so many writers write? Because we see the things that are wrong - with the world, with ourselves. And we cannot speak about them. So we put them on paper. Instead of yelling, arguing, confronting, we create a story, a poem.

They say the pen in mightier than the sword. You just told us that you are not a fighting, sword-wielding knight. But you have used your pen, and you are most certainly a writer.

I am not bold

There are a lot of things a lot of people say about how to be a writer. Write every day, get published, get readers to love you, win awards and whatever. But for me there is one thing that all writers, actually all creative people, seem to have in common.

They are bold.

They defy the norm, they defy the conventions, they defy the universe itself.

Writers write from the murky awful depths of their hearts. This goes for all writers not just some genres. There is unique courage in writing a story that tears your own self apart. But they do it anyway and then they stitch themselves back together by writing more! 

Here’s my problem. I am not bold.

I am a coward. I would be the first to say that. I hate confrontation. I don’t ever point out anything wrong. I cannot stand up to anyone without having a complete panic attack. I cannot even stand in front of a mirror and face the truth of myself without my knees shaking. I stay quiet when people around me raise their voices. I stay quiet when saying something would mean something. I stay quiet even if my heart is breaking, especially when my heart is breaking.

I don’t confront. I don’t question. I don’t refuse.

This might be conditioning from my upbringing. This might be the weight of expectations thrown on me. Or this might just be who I am.

At the end of the day, all this means is that I pull back when I should write honestly. I step aside when I should forge on. I delete the words that must have stayed.

At the end of the day, I am not bold enough to be a writer. And I probably never will be.

Right now I’m doing a scene where my main protagonist and one of my antagonists have a nice little chat. You know, with the second one choking the first, that sort of thing. Guess who is going to be a reluctant spy in about fourhundred words!

does anyone want to come tell me about their wip or their ocs? im procrastinating hard here lads

I would like to publicly announce that on top of my WIP, I am writing a play now. And I don’t have a single clue as to what I am doing.

OC fact swap: Kenny, the main character of my WIP Lucidity, has the ability to travel to alternate dimensions through her dreams.

Oh, she sounds fantastic! I wish I could do that ;). Tungsten, the main character of Elemtary, has magic en knows a spell to lure memories from objects.

Thanks so much! For the compliment and the playlist ^^. The songs are just perfect! ’Flesh and bone‘ is actually one of my favorite songs, so seeing that one here made me smile. (Also: it’s true, isn’t it? If you ever want an OC aesthetic moodboard, drop by ;)).

I don't know if you are still doing the mini playlists? I've got Tungsten. He's sweet, nervous and shy, but once he sets his mind to something, he'll do it, trembling fingers and all. He wishes above all to have a group of people where he feels he belongs. He hopes to find that in a band of traveling magicians/artists he has joined. He always wears a tophat, in which his pet (Milton) lives. He dislikes heritage and does not want to leave anything behind. He's bisexual. Thanks so much!!!

awww he sounds adorable!! (also, love your url)

mini playlist:

1. blue lips, regina spektor

2. flesh and bone, keaton henson

3. unsteady, x ambassadors

4. echo, jason walker

5. not about angels, birdy