Gothams Goons Can Tell You With Confidence Which Antibiotics Are Best For Human Bites.

Gotham’s goons can tell you with confidence which antibiotics are best for human bites.

Okay so wait you guys all know that thing that teachers or parents do were they forget that they don't have to speak in like a baby voice all the time and accidentally interact with grown adults in the same manner they do with a child right? Okay so imagine that- but with Batman and the Justice League

Like-

Hal and Barry are arguing and suddenly Batman goes, “boys, thats not very nice is it?” in like a kid voice

Or Oliver is complaining about getting patched up after a fight and Batman chides, “You take the hit you gotta take the stitch baby,” 

Or Clark is mumbling something and Bats goes, “Speak up sweetheart, lets use our speech properly yeah?”

Or Diana accidentally punches a man in the face when hes already down. Batman tsks, “Come on darling, what did we talk about? One hit only.”

Or Oliver is leaving for a mission and Dinah kisses him goodbye and then he walks away, only for Batman to go, “Say bye bye!” 

AGDJFDYSGUKSRHGBDF

Just please imagine their faces for me.

And Batman grimaces lightly afterwards every time and just leaves and the League is flabbergasted

Elves flirting with Sauron is canon, Tolkien said so.

hereditary mental disorder hits hard

Okay so wait you guys all know that thing that teachers or parents do were they forget that they don't have to speak in like a baby voice all the time and accidentally interact with grown adults in the same manner they do with a child right? Okay so imagine that- but with Batman and the Justice League

Like-

Hal and Barry are arguing and suddenly Batman goes, “boys, thats not very nice is it?” in like a kid voice

Or Oliver is complaining about getting patched up after a fight and Batman chides, “You take the hit you gotta take the stitch baby,” 

Or Clark is mumbling something and Bats goes, “Speak up sweetheart, lets use our speech properly yeah?”

Or Diana accidentally punches a man in the face when hes already down. Batman tsks, “Come on darling, what did we talk about? One hit only.”

Or Oliver is leaving for a mission and Dinah kisses him goodbye and then he walks away, only for Batman to go, “Say bye bye!” 

AGDJFDYSGUKSRHGBDF

Just please imagine their faces for me.

And Batman grimaces lightly afterwards every time and just leaves and the League is flabbergasted

a concept, brought to you by my love of bruce whump + batfam meets the jl fics, and no small amount of irritation that bruce seems to be the only one taking project cadmus completely seriously in jlu:

bruce has to call in the rest of the batfam (dick, tim, cass, and steph - jason hasn’t come back yet which also means no damian) for some battle or catastrophe or something, and the justice league is super excited to meet his ‘associates’, so afterward they’re all kind of jabbering questions at the batkids, but bruce, who is paranoid, traumatized, and hasn’t slept in three days, throws himself between his kids and the league in flat-out terror (bc if the jl could kill him without thinking about it, his babies don’t stand a chance). maybe j’onn is the only one who recognizes why batman is projecting ‘one more step and i’ll rip your throats out with my teeth’ which somehow leads to the revelation that batman is a baseline human and maybe makes the jl consider why ‘we’re the good guys’ is not much of a reassurance for world governments.

(‘i’m scared of what you could do if you lost control bc i know exactly what you’re capable of. imagine what someone without that knowledge would think, and remember that humans are very good at coming up with/planning for worst case scenarios’)

I always think of Bruce seeing Clark or Diana reaching to shake Dick’s hand (Robin Dick, or even freshly Nightwing) and literally throwing himself in front of Dick because sure, Diana broke his arm the first time she shook his hand but that wasn’t her fault, she didn’t realize he wasn’t a meta and Bruce never corrected her. but. she’s about to do the same thing to Dick and no one knows what’s about to happen except Bruce—

something absolutely lovely about especially the first half of fellowship is that the hobbits keep meeting random kind helpful strangers - the elves, bombadil, butterbur, aragorn (also farmer maggot and his wife, though they're not strangers) - until the book solidifies in you the feeling that these are not really instances of random luck, but rather the inherent nature of the world. kind people are everywhere, and no matter where you are, there is surely someone closer than you think that would offer help if you needed it. it's such a beautiful theme across all of LOTR, and it's very sweet to me that it starts from the very beginning of the journey, on such a 'small' (comparatively), everyday scale