Hereby Ending All Parasocial Relationships EXCEPT With The Starting Forward On My College Basketball

hereby ending all parasocial relationships EXCEPT with the starting forward on my college basketball team who i saw at a diner one day junior year and have never spoken to. he’s never heard of tumblr and he’s my best friend.

you’re gonna go to the hardware store. you’re gonna get some joint compound. you’re gonna get some caulk, and you’re gonna caulk that shit. [okay, well uh, fyi] “fyi”? [i’m not your fuckin gopher] fiy FIY YOU COCKED IT UP YOU’RE GONNA CAULK IT OUT [okay well i would love to but uh my license is expired, EFF. yi] (you drove in this morniiiinnggg…..) sydney. you wanna help, you can take him [NAH. time out, i’ll uber, thank you] (grow uppp) [thank you] SURGE RATES, FUCKO.

SPOILERS FOR S1 OF THE BEAR

i just rewatched the pilot. and carm goes to make the fucking spaghetti. and he starts to open the can. and he throws it the fuck away. he’s two seconds away from making an important discovery, and the thing that stops him is his pride.

if he’d just finished making the spaghetti…

it wouldn’t have actually solved anything (carmy is still deluded about what the actual problem is at the beef atp) but it’s one of those details that just takes something to a whole new level.

listen, if imagining that i’m part of Team Tardis™️ while learning to run is what it takes to get me to do some fucking cardio, then fine. sure. at least when the aliens come for me, i’ll be ready.

can't say that 2023 was my favorite

this is Robert Halloween and if you disagree then you're wrong