Exilerp - Shadow - Tumblr Blog

Hey how are you

Well until now I had a mental breakdown every minute of the day, but I just passed my driving exam so I guess I'm living

deobis, tbz, ikonics, ikon, atinys, ateez, stays, skz, melodys, btob, fantasys & sf9 @ mnet rn:

i feel like a middle aged mother when my friends start talking about guys they find attractive. i dont want to be mean so im like well he looks like a very nice young man i like his shirt :-)

yeosang’s chaotic bday countdown with @kangyeosaang ♡ D-14 ⌙ favorite genre of yeosang・letting his confidence shine through on stage

a piece of advice for my young balkan/eastern european lgbt kids out there: you absolutely do not have to come out. i know constantly being surrounded by these western lgbt shows and these different come out videos on the internet can put a lot of ideas in your head but please remember where you live. put your safety first and carefully choose who you tell your personal information to. ily <3

personally i think kingdom was the worst thing to happen to atiny, deobi, and stays. it really brought out the nastiest and most delusional fans right out into the open who were not only rude as hell to the other groups/fans, but to the people within their own fandom too. i assure you that making hundreds of WF accounts & streaming for hours didn't make you a bigger fan than any one who didn't have the luxury/time to do the same or chose not to do the same. everyone was so adamant about how kingdom is rigged and we should try to make it fun since we all know kingdom doesn't matter at the end of it all at the beginning and then???? this happened???

i can assure you that just because someone didn't spend the same amount of energy or time as you in something like this, that doesn't mean you care more about the group or are a bigger fan than them. this is literally the same as when people would go like "if you dont own any merch/albums or go to their concerts, youre not a real fan". like obviously that isnt true, so why is something as arbitrary as streams/voting being used as the determiner now 🥴

BEOMGYU | 0X1=LOVESONG (I KNOW I LOVE YOU) 

BEOMGYU ღ 0X1=LOVESONG ღ 210531

Well, I'm crying my eyes out

My Everything.

Inspired by 'sweet apple biscuits' by @rosaetae (please go read their fic, it's fucking amazing)

where Jungkook send letters to his past-self.

Warnings: so much angst.

A/N: Please leave a feedback on this since it's been a while since I wrote angst, I would appreciate it so much 💜

30th November, 2015

Dear past Jungkook, if you're reading this letter it might seem weird but please read it till the end. I am your future self and I am writing you this letter, no it's not a prank... If you crumpled the paper and throw this letter into the bin—you will regret it forever.

You known someone, named Y/N, right?

You met her on the day you came to the company, through Hobi-hyung, she was his best friend. Y/N followed Hobi-hyung to Seoul and stood by his side when he was chasing his dreams, when Hobi-hyung came to Big Hit, became a trainee, soon became a member of BTS—she was there.

Jungkook read through the letter with knitted brows, still trying to comprehend what was written right in front of him. It couldn't be real, of course—this must've been a prank from one of his hyungs. But he was curious so he continued later on anyways.

You still think it's fake. Please, I beg you to know that this is not.

It was uncanny, it was like it could read his thoughts.

When you first met her, you were still a shy boy but she tried hard to break your shell and be close to you and it took her a very long time. You thought of her as the female version of Hobi-hyung, she was had a sunny personality, always wanted to please people, always wanted to make them feel happy.

Everything written in this letter was something he had said out loud, to his hyungs. This must be a prank. This must be them trying to make him li—

Past Jungkook, you've never liked her, right? In fact, you were annoyed by everything that she does. You felt like she was there every time, every day. She was always there and you felt like she was obnoxious and loud. She always cheered you and hyungs whenever you were practicing hard. You didn't like her because you think she was a distraction. Hyungs loved her but you're the only one that hated her.

You showed that you hated her too. You ignored her whenever she's talking to you, you ignored her and acted like she didn't exist—she would bring you meals every day, cook your favorite food, and you would throw it into the trash right in front of her face.

But she had never faltered, she kept cooking you food, she kept taking care of you no matter how much you hated her.

My question is to you, do you know why you hate her so much?

She's annoying that's why—Jungkook thought to himself. This letter was annoying. This was just like Namjoon-hyung would scold him about his attitude towards Y/N—it's exactly how he would speak and Jungkook knew immediately that Namjoon wrote this. It was too obvious.

You're eighteen if I'm correct. You're still a kid, you're young enough to change and you're also old enough to know better. I'm counting on you, Jungkook. Don't make yourself regret your decisions in the future.

Past Jungkook, maybe... Would you consider your hatred for Y/N was never hatred at all? Would it explain how you hated when Y/N got close to the other hyungs, it would make you feel weird. You would brush it off, thinking Y/N was always stealing your hyungs.

But no.

You're jealous.

You're jealous and that's because you have a crush on her. And you thought she treated you like a kid and your hyungs different, that's why you can never accept your feelings for her.

"This is bullshit!" Jungkook gave up on reading the rest as he crumpled the letter and threw it in the corner of his room, "Why would I like someone like her, she's not even pretty..."

Without a warning, Jimin opened the door to his room without knocking, startling Jungkook in the process, "Did you say something?"

"Uh... No"

"I heard you yelling" Jimin stated but Jungkook shook his head once again, staring at Jimin blankly with his doe eyes, "Whatever, get ready—practice in 20 minutes"

Jungkook nodded, changing into his practice clothes as he went out, this time he went into the car surprisingly earlier than others.

.

When Jungkook arrived, he groaned when he saw Y/N already standing there with her stupid bag of food. She just stood there, smiling at everyone, and gave them their food, his hyungs would sigh in happiness and accepted their personal lunch box filled with things that they liked. When it comes to his turn, Y/N smiled brightly at him and took out his meal.

"Hi, kookie... I cooked you something different today, I hope you eat well" Jungkook glanced at the box, a pink bunny sticker was placed there and a bunch of others. He glanced at his hyungs' lunchbox and all of them were plain. If there's one thing the letter said right, it was she treated him like a kid and he hated it.

Jungkook didn't even say thank you. He didn't say thank you because what he did next would break her heart.

Jungkook would walk towards the corner of the room, open the lunchbox, throw every single content in the box into the trash can and he returned the box to Y/N without saying anything else.

Maybe Jungkook would notice if he looked at her face but the others can.

Y/N was smiling, but a single tear managed to fall down her face but she quickly turned around and wiped it off so nobody would notice. She smiled brightly, her lips had never once turned into a frown but his hyung could notice how her nose and her eyes turned red. Indicating that she was trying hard not to break down right there.

Jungkook had done this every day for the past 3 years. This was the first time the boys saw her crack.

.

When they came back from practice, the six older boys would corner him and scold him for being rude and ill-mannered. The boys never yelled at Jungkook in front of Y/N because Y/N then scolded them back for being mad at Jungkook. So they always yell at him when they came back. Jungkook acted like he didn't hear them, he would stare blankly at the floor.

Sooner or later, they were bound to be tired of him.

.

Y/N didn't come to practice the next day. But she did drop off their meals for them to eat during lunch. The boys would be so annoyed when they saw Jungkook's special box covered in cute stickers and a single pink bunny that resembled him, Jungkook had never truly looked into the contents of the lunchbox but inside contained a single sticky note behind the lid.

It was motivational messages.

None of the members had that other than him.

Jimin got frustrated as he kept every single note that she wrote for him while the members shared Jungkook's lunchbox.

He truly didn't deserve Y/N's affection.

When Jungkook returned home, he got curious about the letter again. He picked it up from the ground and uncrumpled the paper.

Jungkook continued reading the letter.

You're a teenager, about to be an adult soon. You have never grown up in the environment of romantic love. You had never known what it was and when you felt it you can't accept it. Jungkook, it's a foreign feeling, and I understand. Being thrown into this idol world, you had never got the chance to feel what it's like to love someone and what it's like to be loved.

So please, let me teach you how to embrace it. Please, I beg you. If you don't follow it now, you will regret it forever.

On 1st December, take the lunch Y/N give you. If you can't thank her or say anything nice, just take the lunch and eat it quietly.

On 2nd December, she didn't visit you and hyungs at the practice because she sick. You have her number, text her and thank her for the meal she cooked for you (Please, do this)

On 3rd December, she will come back and visit you. Say hi to her and thank her for the meals, you don't have to make conversation with her if you can't.

On 4th December, she comes and visits you while you are on a day off. Take the opportunity to talk to her. It doesn't matter what you say. It will make her happy.

The rest of the letter was a long list of things that he needed to do and because he was lazy, he skipped reading and went to bed. It looked unimportant anyway, why would he do all those stuff?

It all felt insignificant.

Jungkook didn't read any of the dates after the fourth, and he missed the one where it stated on the date 15th December.

'On 1st January 2016, Y/N will die and Jungkook, please... From this point on, you need to try your best and save her, because you're the only one who can...'

.

10th March, 2026. Present.

Jungkook sat on the bench underneath the cherry blossom tree. He had a box in his hand, sitting on top of his lap. He watched as the leaves fall, it was too early in the morning and nobody was there—he had a little bit of privacy at least. He always hated wearing those black masks, whenever there was nobody around he would take them off, get a whiff of fresh air.

Jungkook had recently come back from the military, despite being just 26 years old, he decided to enlist with Taehyung and Jimin so their comeback would be faster than planned. They would start in a couple of months, so now Jungkook had a little time for himself before he gets back into the spotlight again.

The first thing that he did after coming back was he immediately grabbed the lunchbox from his house and took it to the park every day so he could read the sticky notes that Jimin collected. There were twenty-nine notes in total and he read them every day without fail.

'021215: kookie, I cooked kimchi fried rice because I overheard how you tell hobi that you missed his cooking. I know it's not the same but I hope you eat well kookie, you need the energy to stay the best! Love, Y/N'

It was the first note that Jimin collected. He said he collects it because it gives him the strength to hear her cutely motivating him in his head. Because of that, 19-year-old Jimin scrapped what used to be Jungkook's name and wrote his name on top of it instead. Jimin apologized for being petty but Jungkook was thankful enough that Jimin had kept it.

Jungkook had only found out after she died, he was the only person she gave notes to. None of the other boys ever received notes from her.

'071215: kookie, I heard you loved hamburgers from America. I tried my best to make hamburgers like America but I've never had one. I hope this tastes good. Maybe we can go to America and eat hamburgers someday. Hehe, maybe. Love, Y/N'

Suddenly, Jungkook could feel the lump in his throat growing as he reads through the notes she wrote. Jungkook's nose starts to burn as tears started to pool in his eyes, not long after he would crack into a sob as he immediately closed his mouth, not wanting anyone to hear him weeping underneath the cherry blossom tree.

Because in each of those notes, she describes the food that he craved or the food that he liked.

And for years she cooked meals for him.

He never gets the chance to taste her cooking, not even once.

.

Jungkook had no idea how his past is handling everything right now. If he recalled, past him was arrogant, boastful—not good qualities for a person and he knew it would be hard to convince himself to change everything.

After he went to the park, he visited Y/N's grave. It was situated right underneath a willow tree, it was beautiful. It was a perfect place for her because she deserved the best. Jungkook would spend hours talking to her. He updated her about his life in the military, how he felt he made the right choice going with Taehyung and Jimin. He would eat breakfast with her. He never got tired of it.

His mind often wondered what it would be like if he was nice to her. If he was close to her. Jungkook wonders if they would be together now. If that happened, Jungkook would ask her to marry him.

But he can't. And the situation became grim again.

Writing those letters to his past self as a guide made him hope.

He hopes when he wakes up by the end of the month, Y/N would be lying right next to her with the prettiest smile on her face.

.

4th December, 2015.

Just as the letters predicted, Y/N came by to their dormitory and brought beef for them to grill and eat. It wasn't anything that alarmed him because even without the letter, Y/N always came by on a day off. There's not a day where they don't see her and she doesn't see them. It makes Jungkook wonder if she even has a life at all.

Jungkook took the time to analyze the atmosphere around him. Everyone was so happy when she came. Despite being older than him, Y/N had that naivety, she was the kind of person to do whatever you ask her to without batting an eyelash. She was kind, she was always happy. Again, she was like the female version of Hobi. Without realizing it, Jungkook finds himself staring at her as she laughs along with his hyungs. Jungkook realized he had never truly looked at her face. He didn't realize certain things about her feature.

He didn't realize she was pretty.

And the letter saying that had feelings for her lingered in his mind. But like how Jungkook usually is, just as he was about to accept it—he completely turned it into something negative, turning his feelings into so-called pure hatred for the girl sitting right in front of him.

"Ya, Jungkook-ah! Why are you staring at her like that?" Seokjin shouted as he snapped out of his thoughts. His gaze darted towards Seokjin and back towards Y/N who was looking down at her hands timidly trying to hide her blushed face.

Jungkook stared at her blankly again, "Her hair is messed up, it's bothering me—she needs to fix it"

Y/N's eyes widened as she immediately touched her hair, flattening it to avoid any loose strands from coming out. Jimin who was right beside him smacks him at the back of his head as he groaned in pain. Y/N's eyes widened once again, this time alerted by the sound of Jimin smacking his head.

"Why did you do that, that's not nice Jimin!" Y/N pointed out, scolding him right in front of everyone. Yoongi groaned, feeling tired of her keep defending the brat's attitude.

"Why do you always need to defend me?" Jungkook cuts her off before she could say anything else, "Last time I checked, I never asked for it"

Stupid fucking letter, 'Whatever you say will make her happy' well let's see if she's fucking ecstatic to hear about what he has to say.

"Why are you always here anyways? Don't you have a life? All you do is hover around us don't you think once that you are annoying and we don't want you here? You are distracting everyone from working, your presence doesn't contribute anything to our careers. Can't you just shut up and be gone for once?" With a slam of the table, Hoseok stood up and grabbed Jungkook by his back collar, dragging him out of the dining room.

Jungkook had never seen Hoseok so angry before.

"Leave" Hoseok warned, "Don't make me curse at you, Jungkook. Leave"

"Whatever, the meat was getting stale anyways" Jungkook stated unfazed as he exited the dorm and called one of his friends to have dinner with.

'But say nice things, Jungkook. One wrong word can hurt her and we don't want that. We never want to hurt her.'

After Jungkook had left, everybody tried to comfort her.

But being Y/N, she smiled brightly at everyone as she assured them that she was fine.

"It's okay, he probably just had a bad day"

.

Y/N always smiled all the time. She felt the need to let everyone be happy and she hoped that if she was happy, they will be too. She tried her best. When she first met Hobi's bandmates everyone thought she was so kind. She tried her best to become close to them, she wanted to be friends will all of them. She made so many efforts in their friendship, like the meals, sometime she would go to their shows to support them. Whenever a bad thing happened she was there to motivate them to do better. Whenever a member was hurt, she was there to mend their wounds, whenever the members cried out of hopelessness she lends them a shoulder to cry on as she was convinced that they will rule the world one day. She was always there whenever they needed her.

But they were never there whenever she needed them.

Y/N doesn't blame them. She never blames them since they didn't even know in the first place. Y/N sometimes laughs at how good she was at acting. She was so happy-go-lucky with them but whenever she was alone, all of it fades. She was quieter when she was alone, when she watches a TV show or a movie, there's rarely any reaction coming from her. It's different when she was with the boys, she would laugh, cry if they watch a movie together. It's not to say that she's fake, whatever she was feeling when she was with the boys genuinely made her happy.

She's just good at pretending she was fine.

When in fact, she never was.

When Jungkook said those things, she acted like she was okay with it but she wasn't. Jungkook had struck her the most, picking right at her insecurities.

She was only seeing the members every day because they were her source of happiness, even Jungkook was a source of her happiness but to hear him say that.

It made her think. Maybe he was right.

Maybe she should just be gone.

But then if the source of her happiness was gone, where will she find it?

Y/N spends the rest of her night crying into sleep—just like every other night.

Just this time, it was the hardest she had ever cried.

.

20th December, 2015.

It's three o'clock in the morning, Y/N heard someone knocking on her door. She wasn't sleeping, she doesn't really sleep at night and if she does she just takes short naps but it definitely startled her to hear someone knocking in the middle of the night all of the sudden.

She sluggishly walks towards the door, as she peeped into the peephole. Her eyes widened when she realized who.

It was Jungkook and he was standing outside your door drenched in rain as he shivered because of the cold. His eyes were red and so was his nose but she wasn't sure if he was just cold or if he is crying. Though he answered her question when she heard a sob coming out of his mouth.

"Jungkook? Dear God, what are you doing here this late? Are you okay?" Y/N opened the door and pulled him into her home, she sat him down on the couch as the boy keep sobbing harder and harder this time to the point where it seems that he wasn't catching his breath properly. Y/N was concerned as she brought him a cup of water to reduce his sobs, she sat right next to him as she pulled him close and rubbing his back soothingly, "Hey, it's okay? Alright? Do you wanna tell me what happened, hmm? It's okay, kookie... Don't cry, whatever it is it will end soon? Okay? Please don't cry..."

"T-they were s-so m-mean... S-so mean, N-noona..." He stammered. He could barely get any of his words out. Y/N encouraged him to keep drinking and he did, hopefully, he would calm down, "They were s-so mean t-to m-me and h-hyungs"

"Why, kookie? What happened?"

"T-the c-comments. T-the comments w-were m-mean..." It breaks her heart that she was seeing him like this. Jungkook had always been so stoic, maybe a little hard-headed at times but Y/N admired him so much. He was so hardworking, so dedicated to his work and they were times Y/N wanted to be just like him. He didn't deserve this.

Jungkook told Y/N about what they say to him and it was all awful. It comes to the point where she can't even think humans are capable of being that awful. Y/N tried her best trying to calm him down the whole night. Luckily she knew tomorrow was their day off so when Jungkook was tired she let him stay over because it was late and pouring and Jungkook practically ran all the way here.

She grabbed a blanket from her room, covering him so he wouldn't catch a fever. Y/N leaned in, petting his hair and running her hands through it to stop him from sobbing.

Magically, Jungkook stopped, and his breathing turned normal again.

'20th December 2015. You will see things on social media platforms that will make you sad. But the only person that could heal you was Y/N. Seek for her comfort. She will accept you with open arms'

For the first time, 20th December had been the first day he followed the guide.

And maybe, just maybe the small step could change the future lies ahead of him.

.

Jungkook woke up the next day feeling disoriented. His eyes were throbbing and they felt extremely puffy. Jungkook studied his surroundings. He was in an extremely messy apartment, everything wasn't organized and a weird odor wafted through the air. It took him a moment to realize where he was.

He was in Y/N house.

He knew because they all visited her house once and he recognized the interior.

But back then it wasn't this messy. It was completely the opposite of Y/N. She always looked clean and smart but her house said completely different things. There were papers and documents everywhere. Ramen was all over the counter and even empty plastic of ramen was never thrown in the trash. Everything was so... Dirty.

Jungkook could hear the shower running and he assumed she was still showering.

Quietly, Jungkook put on his mask in his pocket, and he immediately left her apartment without saying a word.

Not even a thank you note.

.

Y/N texted him asking why he left so early, she said she wanted to make a stew for him.

Jungkook rolled his eyes, "The least you could do was wash your own dishes first"

Jungkook was back to his ways once again. He left Y/N on read and every time she texted he would ignore it. Going to her contact ID, Jungkook chose the setting to mute her messages and decline her calls. She was pestering him and she was getting annoying.

But his mind finds itself traveling to when she comforted him. He had always been an asshole to her but how can she just treat him so nicely like that? The warmth in her eyes, her soothing touch? Why is she like that? She's supposed to slam the door in his face, ignore him, leave him crying in the cold outside of her apartment but she didn't.

Why didn't she do that?

Jungkook hated her warmth. Jungkook hated her smile. Jungkook hated everything about her.

And mostly, Jungkook hated how she made him feel after she took care of him.

.

27th December 2015.

It had been a week since Jungkook came into her arms and she genuinely thought he would accept her now.

But she was wrong. If anything he was straying further and further away from her and it made her sad.

Nobody knew about what happened because Jungkook managed to return before anybody woke up. Nobody knew Jungkook came for Y/N's comfort and Jungkook never told anyone. He acted as it had never happened.

It shattered her heart.

It shattered her heart so much that no matter what he does, Jungkook will never accept her.

.

27th March 2026. Present.

'191215: smile more kookie... The world is 100x brighter whenever you smile. I love seeing you smile. I wish you could smile for me everyday, love y/n'

He was getting anxious and more anxious as days go by because he has no idea if his oast self had been doing things correctly. His past self must've read what happens on January 1st right? So he must have done everything right.

Jungkook will see her again.

When Jungkook wakes up, she was going to be right beside him.

He was already planning everything in his head on what he was going to do when she came back. When she came back Jungkook will confess his love for her, he would make her his girlfriend and he also wouldn't want to wait too long to marry her. He wanted to have kids with her and he also thought about their names. Just the thought of it made his heart full. Jungkook was going to see her again.

He continued reading some of the notes so he could imagine her saying it to him in real life but his smile fell once he saw the last one.

'311215: I've never said this to you before. And I never indicated anything about this to you. You don't eat the meals, so I'm guessing you won't notice this note. I remember the second half of this year when I started to see you as more than a friend. I don't know if you'd call me your friend but I'd like to think so. I remember hearing you sing, you always had a nice voice but this time you were alone in the practice room and you started singing by yourself. Your voice was so beautiful Jungkook. I wasn't sure if the song was released but it was beautiful too. You kept talking to yourself and said you weren't doing good. You said your voice didn't sound good but in my ears, you sounded like an angel. It showed me how dedicated you were to your work. You showed me how you would do anything for your dream. You were perfect and you wanted to be even more perfect so that they will like your voice. I just stood there at the door listening in. I heard how you spoke to yourself, correcting yourself and it was the most endearing thing I have ever heard. You even talked to the things around you which I found so funny. We have never bonded like I wanted to and I try so hard for us to become closer but I guess you just don't want me to be close to you. I love you. I always did. No matter how many times you avoided me, it never changed my feelings for you. I just hope one day... You know that, love y/n'

.

31st December 2015.

"Jungkook, I think you should read this" Jimin passed him a folded paper as he looked at him warily, "I didn't want to give it to you because you are sure as hell don't deserve it but you need to read this. You must know"

Jungkook opened the folded paper and read each of the words carefully. As he scanned through the words, there were so many thoughts that ran through his mind. He couldn't even believe it was real. His heart thumped in his chest as his hands started to feel clammy.

'I love you, I always did'

It made his heart flutter in his chest.

But Jimin was there in front of him. And what he was feeling inside portrayed differently than how he looked on the outside.

On the outside, Jungkook was scowling, reading the note in disgust. But on the inside, his heart felt warm and it was pounding so fast in his chest. This was a confession letter.

And it was from Y/N.

Y/N was in love with her and deep down so did he.

"What the fuck is this shit? It's fucking disgusting" Jungkook scowled, crumpling the brown paper as he threw it on the floor.

"Jungkook... Stop, this fucking thing is getting annoying. Stop and take a step back and realize what you are fucking saying right now... I know you're thinking differently about this and you don't have to fucking pretend. Accept it, Jungkook. You are being such a fucking dick, always had been a dick to her, and for her to fucking put up with you? Don't tell me you don't feel anything because I fucking know you do. You have a dumbass way of showing it but if you keep being like this one day she's going to leave your ass for someone better and only then you start to regret everything... We don't know much about love and we are so so fucking sorry that you never have time to learn and experience it but Jungkook please realize this. She loves you enough to go through every single shit you have given her. Accept her and even if... Even if... you don't like her that way, at least make an effort to be friends with her Jungkook because she is trying so hard to be yours"

"Are you kidding me, hyung? She's in love with me? What? With the two-second eye contact I give and she's in love with me. Even if she did do you think I would love her back? No, I fucking don't. She doesn't matter to me. In my life, she's like a speck of dust. That's how insignificant she is"

Jimin didn't say anything after that, he only managed to curse at him as he went towards the door to leave the room.

But what shocked him was Y/N was already standing there.

She had listened to every single word Jungkook had said about her.

On 31st December 2015, Y/N will confess to you in the lunchbox note. Watch what you say, Jungkook... Because that note will be the last thing of hers that you will only have for the rest of your life.

.

1st April 2026, Present.

It smelled like flowers. Lavender, to be exact. One of his favorite scents. He was laying down on the ground as he woke up from the sound of children playing around him. He squinted from the ray of sun coming through the trees that he was under as he stared at the birds flying above him. He felt a weight on his chest but he was careful to not make any sudden movements.

"You're up?" A sweet voice called out as the weight disappear, "C'mon sleepyhead, I cooked your favourite but you were too busy sleeping it might get cold"

Jungkook couldn't see the woman's face because the sun was shining right behind her. She turned around, scoping some of the food on his plate as she passed it towards him.

"What, why are you being so quiet? Did you have a bad dream?" She asked once again. This time the sun had moved and it was no longer right behind her. It took Jungkook a minute to adjust his gaze, "Are you okay, sweetie?"

Jungkook's eyes widened when he saw her face. So beautiful. So gorgeous. It was all right in front of him.

"Kookie... You're being weird..." Kookie, that's what she used to call him, "Eat your food, baby... Before it gets cold..."

"Y/N?..." His voice was so light, it was right above a whisper, "Y/N, that's really you?"

"Well, last time I checked... Yeah? I am Y/N" She laughs and god that is the first time he had heard her laugh in decades. It was so fucking beautiful. Her laugh was so fucking beautiful it made him cry, "Hey... Hey... Hey... God, it must've been a bad dream..."

"I... Missed you... So much..." Jungkook cried as she engulfed him into a hug, Jungkook buried his head into her neck as he took a whiff of her scent. "It's really y-you..."

"It's always been me, sweetheart... I've always been here..." Y/N comforted him. He missed her comfort, fuck he missed everything. "Okay... You need to stop crying okay? I cooked your favorite and I can guarantee it will make you so happy!"

Jungkook looked down at the plate and it looked fucking delicious.

Oh god... This will be the first time he will taste her cooking.

Jungkook wasted no time taking a spoonful of the meal she cooked as tears started to run down his face. He cried so much because it was so delicious. He finally tasted her cooking and that made him so happy.

"There... There..." Y/N patted her hair as she would... He missed her touch, "I gotta call them those brats don't know when to stop"

Y/N stood up waving into the distance. In Jungkook's mind, he thought it was going to be one of the boys, "Jungsoo! Minsoo! Come eat now or mommy will come there and get you herself!"

Jungkook had almost choked on his food.

"We... We have k-kids?" Jungsoo... Minsoo... Those were the names he imagined his kids with her would have.

"I don't know what dream you had for you to be forgetting your children, but yes. We have kids for three years now... In case you forgot that too..."

Jungkook placed his plate down as he glanced at the two children running towards them happily. Laughing as they tried to race each other to their parents.

Parents.

Jungkook was a parent.

Y/N was their mom and Jungkook was their dad.

He broke down once again. Thinking that it had all worked out. His letters had all worked out.

"Babies... I think your daddy is sad because of the dreams they had... Do you think we should calm daddy down? Make daddy happy again?" The twins agreed in unison as they tackled him with a hug. Jungkook could feel his heart-melting as Y/N was the last one to wrap her arms around all of them.

He has a family. He has a family with the love of his life. It had all worked out in the end.

BEEP BEEP.

"Darling, your phone is ringing... I think it's Jimin, he mentioned last night that he would call..."

"Let's ignore it... I want to enjoy this moment with my family"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The sound was ringing in his ear and he really wanted to curse Jimin out.

He picked up his phone, trying to answer Jimin's call as he groaned.

However, his eyebrows were furrowed once he glanced at the screen.

It was his morning alarm.

With that... Things started to fade. The lavender field, the tree... The sun as the sky started to go dark...

His kids disappeared.

And lastly, Y/N disappeared.

Jungkook woke up and he was back in his room.

He turned his head to the other side.

Only to see that nobody was there.

It had all been a dream.

Y/N was still dead.

He failed.

Currently have a plot or two in my head, so I'm opening up bts and ateez double roleplays once again.

If you're interested, read pinned and feel free to send a message!

hi again! a few days ago i made a post saying i was collecting donations to buy a new laptop to be able to attend online classes.

things have evolved and i found out tonight that my father has been fired from his job. this puts me in a difficult position. i’m afraid i’m gonna have to quit university and i’m not even sure my sister will be able to afford getting an education.

we can’t afford to pay bills anymore and paying for groceries is going to be hard. we have 10€ to live this week and i’m really worried. please, if you see this post just reblog it, cause it can really save me and my family until my father finds a new job. i’m really scared and i really do not know what else to do. every tiny cent counts.

https://www.paypal.me/giuliamoii

PayPal.Me

Pay giulia miola using PayPal.Me

Go to paypal.me/giuliamoii and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

hop hop little bunny | k.y

synopsis: you swear you couldn’t hate anyone more than kang yeosang. sure, you didn’t really have a reason why, all you knew was that he was a prick and you were forced to see him everyday thanks to your brother wooyung. you two are always at each others throats, ready to rip the other apart over the smallest detail, and you’re sure wooyoung is about to go insane from it all.

still, hating someone is better than admitting that you actually find them really fucking hot.

pairing: harddom!yeosang x brat!reader

genre: smut, little bit of fluff, enemies to lovers trope, non idol au

word count: 5.4k

warnings: mentions of cannabis, masturbation, sexual tension, reader is a size queen, accidental voyeurism, exhibitionism, power imbalance, sex toys, brat taming, choking (receiving), dirty talk, degradation, dumbification, hand kink, thigh slapping, sir kink, light pet play, yeosang suffers from massive cock disease, spit kink, unprotective vaginal sex, squirting, creampie, aftercare is important bitches don’t fucking forget it.

Keep reading

once again the fans and artists suffering because of companies and their greed, we love to see it

romania: hello this is our entry to the 93rd academy awards. it’s a documentary about a nightclub fire that happened in 2015 in bucharest, romania, and the political fallout of an investigation by romanian journalists who exposed the long chain of corruption in romania’s public administration and healthcare that allowed such a terrible thing to happen in bucharest, romania.

america:

Kiss me on the lips, a secret just between the two of us, deeply poisoned by the jail of you.I cannot worship anyone but you and I knew, the grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway - Blood Sweat & Tears, BTS

if you are 13 and there is a 17/18 year old showing interest in you: please run away and never look back. i understand that you feel special; that older person will tell you how mature you are and make you feel special. but please. run away from that person. stay away from them. they do not love you. an 18 year old should not have ANY interest in a 13 year old. please. please be safe. please do not let them manipulate you. they are dangerous. stay away from them

it’s so good to see you too and we could never forget you 🥺 [cr. nabinunaya, trans cr. doyou_bangtan]

hyunjin for arena

cute like sugar ( cr. miiniyoongs trans. @joonie​)

his eye smile 🥺 [cr.c_a_leaf]

This is the 💖 Love SLAP 💖 Raid Chain, send this to all of your favorite blogs that you think deserve to hear these encouraging words. In return we ask that those blogs send it to their favorite blogs as well. It's December, everybody deserves to hear a few words of encouragement no matter if you're a small or big account. So let's all fill your dash with positivity these last few weeks of 2020. You are amazing. You matter. You are loved. You deserve to have an amazing month. i love youuuuu!! m

I'm only seeing this now, but thank you love!💕

who is this man