Oh, Hello There. I Will Stay Behind, To Gaze At The Sun.

Oh, hello there. I will stay behind, to gaze at the sun.

Object possession, insatiable desire

Complete disregard for established, oppressive mire

In hopes the lust would transpire

Value glistening

Control - such a visceral scene

Traditional societal rituals, do you know what they mean?

I stopped believing in such things

Choosing a genuine void

For belief disappearing

Bury my eyes in a far away heart

Bones submerged in a different part.

The person of my anxiety

Doesn’t really bother anymore to start

Just gestures and half motions, but nothing major to impart

Sighs and movement only

Optimism blooms in me mostly

Your uttered wish in that moment, could not be granted, and my heart split in two. All I strive to do, and I'm still no closer to you.

Comfort like no other. Reunited with pretty much the best blanket ever. I missed this blanket so hard.

#becoming-nobody

1.27.2024

There have been seasons I've felt so content I couldn't imagine ever feeling otherwise again.

Until, little by little, I squirm around a bit, then a bit more until I reflect one day and realize that yet again;

I feel broken, lost, forgotten, confused, and all of the wonderful signs that I am completely human.

I am deeply grateful I know the enduring answer is always in returning my attention and questions to that gentle parent that created me, and created all that is.

It's funny too, that as I shift my focus this way, my next thoughts are not about me at all, but for those I love and care about. I am equally grateful I have people to love.

I love you.

nobody