154 posts
F1rstresponder - Tumblr Blog
i’m not gone, i promise! it’s just that i’ve been struggling a little when it comes to my mental health :/ sometimes tumblr helps to get me out of my head, while other times it only fuels my anxiety... so i'm kinda trying to find a balance here.. i'm going to work fewer hours (starting next week) so i'm sure that's definitely going to take away some stress! anyway, i'm a hypocrite, because even though i keep telling everyone that personal life and mental health is more important than tumblr, i do feel like i've been the worst rp partner and i feel really, really bad for not being as active as i used to be or even disappearing for weeks at a time i appreciate every single one of you, and i just wanted to let you guys know i'm still here and haven't forgotten any of you ❤️
Concept: we’re laying in bed and the world is soft and quiet. You have your arm around my waist and I listen to you breathe as we fall asleep. No one can take this moment from us.
because yes @fiercehearts
Head wound. Overdose. Moderate traumatic brain injury. Swelling and increase in intracranial pressure. Medically induced coma. A woman in a white jacket said these things on the first day, as if all her years of study and practice gave her the right to look at TK like that – with such pity – and speak those words as if he didn't realize already how bad things are.
It's been nearly a week now, TK thinks, but it's hard to keep track of time. Most of the days were spent at Carlos' bedside, with TK refusing to leave the room for the first two days, and then finally agreeing to leave the hospital for a whole 5 minutes on the third day to get some fresh air. Which he didn't need. He needs his fiancé to wake up and get better and just– survive.
Logically, TK knows that the drug-induced coma, even after the overdose, was necessary. It would reduce the energy requirements of the brain, which in turn reduces blood flow and pressure, and allows the brain to rest. To heal. Emotionally, though.. TK's a mess.
They've slowly started to wean Carlos off the sedatives yesterday and he may begin to slowly regain consciousness soon. Could even take a few days, the doctor warned, so there's no need to constantly hover, but Carlos has been getting a little more restless and TK just has to be there when he wakes up.
He forgoes the sofa-bed tonight, instead deciding to spend the night at Carlos' bedside in the chair he's grown way too accustomed to over the last week. Andrea brought pillows and blankets, so the chair isn't too uncomfortable, but still.. TK's back is anything but happy when he leans forward to rest his head on the bed, his fingers gently curled around Carlos' arm. He's been careful to avoid the damaged skin of Carlos' wrists that's still raw and chafed from struggling against the damn zip ties.
"Goodnight, baby," he whispers quietly, just like he does every night before he falls asleep to the beeping noises of the monitors and the mechanical whir of the ventilator.
paul, carlos & marjan | 3.17 “spring cleaning”
haven’t been online much because of vacation, but i’m home again and i swear i’m still active on here <3
me: i am INSPIRED i want to WRITE
my brain, immediately: i have never once even seen a sentence
/ @fiercehearts
TK enjoyed married life. Or used to, at least. Sure, he’d never imagined it like this; him being a stay-at-home husband to a man spending more time at work than at home. But the marriage was okay. He might’ve had different ideas when he was younger, dreaming of being firefighter and having a loving family ( both at the same time, his career and marriage co-exisiting ) but still... life is good.
Until, all of a sudden, it isn't.
Though, in hindsight, TK has to admit it really isn't such a sudden thing. There's been a buildup for years, with Alex' behavior slowly and gradually changing. TK's tried so hard to convince himself that it was normal; every couple struggles sometimes and marriage isn't perfect. He ignored the signs. Brushed it off whenever his husband snapped at him or grabbed his arm just a little too tight. Told himself it was his own fault anyway; maybe his expectations for marriage were too high. Or maybe TK just sucked at being a good husband.
TK can't even remember what they argued about the first time Alex hit him. It shocked the both of them enough to stop fighting and Alex spent hours apologizing and trying to make it up to TK. Promising it won't happen again. Except that it does. The days, weeks, months after the first slap TK spent walking on eggshells, hiding bruises, and trying so hard to not anger his husband; to not let things escalate.
It was all in vain.
Again, TK can't quite remember the argument. One moment he was focused on dinner, the next he was forcefully turned around, head banging against the kitchen cabinet behind him. He does remember Alex' hand on his throat; squeezing, squeezing, and squeezing, and for a moment TK's sure that this is the end. He can't beg, can't apologize, can't even breathe, and for the first time, TK attempts to fight back. He struggles and squirms just enough to reach for something, anything, nearby and next thing he knows, Alex' grasp loosens as he sinks to the floor, clutching his bleeding stomach instead, and finally, finally TK can breathe again and– he runs.
The next few days are smudged together. A blur of spending hours in uncomfortable bus seats, walking for miles and miles until his feet hurt. How he ends up in some barn in God-knows-where is beyond him, but he had little to no choice. The house was dark when TK slipped into the empty barn and he told himself it would only be a few hours. Just a short nap and then he'd be on his way again well before sunrise; before the owners of the farm would even wake up. He falls asleep, huddled in the corner of the barn, and doesn't wake up until–
– someone's here.
TK's wide awake all of a sudden, not at all drowsy anymore, instead hyper aware of everything. Of everyone. He's quick to raise his hands, partly to shield his eyes from the flashlight and partly because– well, reflexes. The stranger – the owner of the place, probably – is remarkably calm and doesn't appear to be angry, but TK knows not to trust words and appearances. And promises. The amount of times Alex promised not to hurt him...
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to–" Trespass? Fall asleep? Get caught? His brain fails to come up with a proper excuse and TK's quick to scramble to his feet. It leaves him dizzy and he sways on his feet for a second or two before he's able to focus again. He squints against the bright light and slowly raises his own hands, mirroring the stranger. "I'm sorry," he repeats, "Please don't call the police. I can leave. I–I was about to leave. I swear I wasn't breaking in."
@f1rstresponder // plotted starter !!
LATE SHIFTS WERE CARLOS‘ FAVORITE AT THE MOMENT. THE STATION wasn‘t as busy , still enough to do and he just had returned from a day on the streets to his work desk in order to get all the files and reports in , letting out a soft sigh as he settled down on the desk. he felt exhausted from a day of work and it wasn‘t done yet , but he just wanted to do the paperwork before heading home , which would take him about half an hour , if he was fast. his gaze flickered towards the framed photograph of his parents and him on the ranch. a reminder of days where he had been happier , where he hadn‘t to question if the decisions he had made were right or wrong. or if they would be proud. he hoped they would be , but he couldn‘t be certain and there was a small , sad smile tugging on the corner of his lips as he stared at the picture for a moment , letting his mind wander. he often wondered if the decision to keep the ranch was wrong or not , but he couldn‘t bring it over his heart to sell it , not when it was the only thing he had left of them. not when there were so many memories he didn‘t want to just give away. he just shook his head slowly , before trying to focus back on the paperwork , when his phone blinked up. just once. then twice and his dark brows creased together when he quickly grabbed it to check on the notification he got.
even though he wasn‘t doing anything on the ranch out of security purposes he had installed a system on the ranch. abandoned buildings were easily a good spot for any kind of deals or people who thought could get away with breaking in. carlos wanted to make sure no one did any damage on it , that no one could spit on his parents legacy and there had been nothing for weeks , well tonight it changed. he checked again when he cursed under his breathe and pushed himself off of the chair he had been sitting on and the paperwork was forgotten. he had ot head over as fast as possible and he needed to change. he abandoned the paperwork to rush towards the locker room to change from his uniform to his normal clothes. he felt unsettled when he got to his car and just in order to scare the intruder away , he had taken the handcuffs and his taser with him. he didn‘t want to involve the police , the sirens would only scare them away and he knew that he could always call for back up later , but he wanted to check it out himself.
during the drive carlos felt even more nervous the closer he got to the ranch and his fingers drummed against the steering wheel , nervously chewing on his lower lip and he parked the car in front of the ranch , brown hues roaming over the shadow of the building in the dark. it was a scary scene and the once joyful lights and moments spent there felt cold. he wasn‘t just nervous because he had someone in there , but he was nervous , because he hadn‘t been here since he had the security system installed. as silent as possible the police officer got out of the car , pressing his lips together as he moved towards the house and to the back. he knew the intruder either had to be still in the abandoned stables or already in the house , but he wanted to check the back first and so he grabbed his flashlight and moved towards it with silent steps. the light lit up half of the barn and he looked carefully around , frowning when he went further inside the empty stalls. there was no evidence that there had been animals before or something living at all and he exhaled a deep breathe as he looked around. „ hello ? “ , he called out , even though he wanted to yell at himself for that. because it was how the first person in a horror movie always died , wasn‘t it ? he took another step forward and almost dropped the flashlight when he saw the intruder. a young male , who looked like he had been through hell. dark rings underneath his eyes just added up to the pale skin and the way how tired the young male looked. he didn‘t look like he was able to fight at all or was going to attack him. more like a scared cat that wanted to run away. „ hey..hey..hey.. it‘s alright. i‘m not going to hurt you , i promise. “ , he assured and raised his hand to show he wasn‘t going to harm him in any way.
Absolutely a sucker for the “ARE YOU HURT” once over. The wandering hands, frantically checking for blood or pain just SOMETHING. ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED of what they might find while searching. The panicked look on the face of the person doing the checking, the glossy, confused “I’m fine” from the person being checked. HOO BOY just inject that shit right into my veins
2.08 Bad Call | 4.04 Abandoned
CARLOS & TK + looking for (and finding) each other
my rp partners: flawless writing. every sentence flows perfectly and the characters are multifaceted and brilliantly written
me: man door hand hook car door
Vanilla sex is hardly spoken about but it’s cute like imagine whispering I love you to someone and hearing them moan and being so caught up in the pleasure and endorphins that you basically melt into eachother while holding hands and kissing eachother
