Fanastraea - Astraea

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no thoughts head empty just remembering how Pete was advising Porsche on how to take a beating, how to minimise damage and not break anything vital

and it was funny because haha look at Pete not knowing what a hickey looks like

but then we learn later on that his dad used to beat him, and how he probably drew from his boxing background to best protect himself while taking a beating - and how it’s seen in what he shows Porsche

and that advice scene takes on a whole new meaning because Pete knows what it’s like to not be able to fight back when someone’s whaling on you and all you can do is just stand there and take it and wait until it’s all over

and then this fucking scene happens and it cracks my chest wide open

he keeps his arm up, not just to bring attention to the damned handcuffs, but to also try and protect himself again as he curls in on himself, resorting to muscle memory as he hides from Vegas, from himself, and from his warring wants and needs

but then vegas pulls his hand down and pete lets him even though it goes against his instinct but he’s falling apart. so he lets vegas touch him and kiss him and caress him, just takes it all like he always does

until he finally finally makes the decision to save himself and remove himself from a situation where he would keep getting hurt

he chooses himself in the end

inconsolable about him

bas asavapatr in kindergarten mafia episode seven