CAN I JUST STAY HERE?

CAN I JUST STAY HERE?

MASTERLIST | JEAN KIRSTEIN X F!READER

synopsis: having spent years fighting side by side, you and jean finally confess your feelings the night before leaving for marley.

warnings: slight swearing, mentions of death

notes: I don’t know what this is, I really just wrote whatever was coming to mind so it’s kinda messy I think but I hope you all enjoy it anyways

Laughter filled the area around you as the four of you sat together, enjoying what you all knew could very well be your last meal.

It had become a tradition in your cadet days to have a feast before a battle, though it’s been years since then and you’ve lost many, the tradition was carried on by the four of you.

Tomorrow, you’d be leaving for Marley. Leaving to aid Eren in his plan to declare war on the Marleyans.

This could be the last time you saw your friends happy and alive.

“Y/N, stop pouting!” Connie’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts as he pointed his cup in your direction, the wine sloshing against the sides as he moved. “This is supposed to be fun, don’t ruin it!”

“Sorry,” you smiled at the boy.

Sasha, who sat beside you, threw an arm over your shoulders. “Don’t apologise, Y/N!” Though her voice was typically loud, it seemed even louder now as the effects of the alcohol she stole weighed down on the duo.

As the two began bickering between themselves, you found your gaze drifting to Jean. He sat across from you, his eyes trained on his food as he mindlessly poked at it, his cup laying forgotten at his side.

It wasn’t too much of a surprise, you realised. Now that you were fighting again, his promotion to section commander meant more than just extra hours.

It meant that now he would possibly be leading people to their death, that was always something Jean hated the most about working in the Survey Corps.

Death seemed to follow you everywhere.

While trapped in your thoughts, you didn’t hear Jean’s announcement that he would be leaving, at least until his figure began to stand up.

With a frown, you watched him leave the tables that had been set up for the scouts to eat at.

Something was wrong.

Without a word to Sasha and Connie, you took off running after Jean, ignoring the loud questioning of the people you left behind with the food.

“Jean, wait up!” You called out, rushing to catch up with him.

Releasing a shaky breath, you came to a stop beside him. “Are you… are you okay?”

Jean’s expression softened slightly, before he quickly averted his gaze, a quiet ‘yeah’ falling from his lips as he avoided your gaze.

Not very convincing, you thought.

“Hey, I have something to show you.” You took his hand in your own, using it to pull him forward despite his objections that it was getting late.

The ride from the Scouts campsite to the ocean had been a fairly quick one, though maybe it only felt that way due to the comfortable silence you had fallen into it.

“This couldn’t have waited till tomorrow?” Even in the darkness you could see Jean raise a brow, as he jumped off his horse.

“Absolutely not.” Finishing tying your own horse to the tree beside you, you glanced back at Jean, faltering for a moment at the sight of him.

With the shadows of the flames from his torch dancing across his face and the moon’s light shining down on him, he looked stunning.

No, he always looked stunning. Though you had never had the guts to tell him.

With the upcoming mission, maybe you would never have the guts to tell him…

“Let’s- let’s go.”

Coming to a stop by the water line, you glanced back at Jean, not missing the way his shirt grew tighter around his biceps as he crossed his arms.

“What are we doing out here, Y/N?”

“Well, it’s calming, for starters,” you told him, nodding toward the waves that washed against the shore before pulling back out into the ocean.

When you were a cadet, you could only ever dream of seeing the ocean. With the Titans that lured outside the walls, it was an impossible thought.

But now with the Titans eradicated, it was safe to be standing here.

Rather than looking out into the dark ocean that seemed to shine under the moonlight, Jean remained focused on you.

Though you seemed sad back at dinner, your eyes were now lit up, and the smile he loved so much was gracing your features.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you grinned at him. “Okay, we’re here so you can get it all off your chest.”

The smile slipped from his face, replaced by a look of confusion as he stared at you. “What?”

“All your worries, and doubts,” you explained. “Just… just scream. No one will hear except the ocean and- and me.”

His eyes flickered from you to the water as you continued. “Sasha and I do this sometimes when things get to be too much. I know it sounds weird, but it helps, I promise.”

Silence filled the beach, the only noise being the waves crashing against the sand.

Reaching out, you placed your hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to, I just thought-”

“I love you.”

It was a whisper, something you were sure you would’ve missed had you not been standing right next to him.

As his eyes met yours, you noticed he was now blushing. The red painted across his cheeks making you realise he was being serious, though that didn’t stop the whisper that left your lips.

“What?”

His head snapped away from yours as his hands came up to his face, cupping around his mouth to make himself louder as he shouted. “I’m in love with my best friend!”

Your eyes widened, and you could feel your face heating up as he continued even after your hand dropped from his shoulder.

“I’ve loved her since we first met! And I haven’t stopped!”

“Jean-”

“She’s the best person I know, and the strongest! I’ve loved her more than I’ve loved anyone!”

Unable to handle the embarrassment of him shouting a confession of love toward the ocean any longer, you quickly grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, using your grip to pull him closer and kiss him.

He froze against you for just a moment, until he kissed back passionately, as if he was making up for all the times this could’ve happened earlier on.

His hands fell from your face as he resorted to holding your hips, pulling you closer as he deepened the kiss.

You pulled back breathlessly, staring at him as tears began to fill your eyes.

He instantly took a step back, a look of concern painted over his visage. “Shit, are you- are you okay?”

Despite the tears falling from your eyes, you nodded and smiled softly. Taking his hand into your own, you lifted it up to hold your face once more, leaning into his touch like you never wanted him to let go. “I just… you don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear that, Jean.”

His thumb brushed against your cheekbone, wiping away the tears as he pressed his forehead against yours.

Not a single word was uttered as you stood there in each other’s arms, and as he pressed his lips to yours once more, you realised you never wanted to leave this moment.

You wanted to stay here, with him, for the rest of your lives.

No more fighting. No more wars.

Just the two of you.

“I love you, too.”

TAGLIST (i forgot abt this for awhile sorry, please lmk if you want to be removed/added)

@vinseul @myparaiuman @dai-tsukki-desu @may-machin @answer-the-sirens @ley-writes @sashaisangel @french-girl-online @megumiisee @wonhyuksstuff @milk-n-cuwukies @jeanbabygirl @c0urtn3y @natashasupremacy

HI BABE 💖💖 how ru

hi my love!!! Im okayyyy! HBY?

omg iane this is sooo cute!!! i did one for hange (aka the loml) and levi (i feel like i failed tho lmao also idk i should be taller than him👀)

tagging: @miyanom , @oblxvion , @sashaisangel and anyone else who wants to do this!

no but

me and reiner are very much in love

tha proof really

i used this adorable picrew o(≧∇≦o)

tagging some of my mutuals bc i want to see their self-insert ships, they are my fave type of ships 🥺

tag list: @plutowrites @jeageristbaby @x6nji @titanicsimp @m0chiw0chi @armins-futon @peachysimp @skiesoftwilight @erenstellar + anyone else!!

ahhhh i love this tag game!!! thank you for the tag smol ate ✨ currently i am obsessed with wendy and her new song! please stream like water!!

tagging : @shoyotime , @oblxvion , @miyanom , @tsukkisfatsimp , @floralkawa and anyone else who wants to do this!

haloo! I want to start a tag game and I think you will like it! what/who's in your home screen and lockscreen and theast song you listened to! and tag 5 mutuals hehe

oooh! i like it :) thank you, anon! here's mine!

who's in your homescreen, lockscreen and the last song you listened to? + tag 5 mutuals

yes, i'm still obsessed with those picrew 😼

tagging: @undereiner @odmlevis @myparaiuman @deludedimagines @fiaficsxo + anyone who wants to do it and no pressure on doing it ^^

BABES HAPPY BIRTHDAY ILY!!!!

AHHH THANK YOU SM MY FAVE JEAN SIMP ✨ LOVE U TOO ALI ❤️

thank you for the tag ev and iane !

this or that

honey and lemon or milk and sugar // musicals or plays // lemonade or unsweetened ice tea // strawberries or raspberries // winter or summer // beaches or forests // diners or cafes // unicorns or dragons // gemstones or crystals// hummingbirds or owls // fireworks or sparklers // brunch or happy hour // sweet or sour // rome or amsterdam // classic or modern art // sushi or ramen // sun or moon  // polka dots or stripes // macarons or croissants // glitter or matte // degas or seurat // aquariums or planetariums // road trip or camping trip // colouring books or watercolour // fairy lights or candles

tagging : @shoyotime , @floralkawa , @miyanom , @tsukkisfatsimp and other who wants to do this !

This or That

Thanks for tagging me @tabbytabbytabby and @oneawkwardcookie !❤️

honey and lemon or milk and sugar // musicals or plays // lemonade or unsweetened iced tea // strawberries or raspberries // winter or summer // beaches or forests // diners or cafes // unicorns or dragons // gemstones or crystals // hummingbirds or owls // fireworks or sparklers // brunch or happy hour // sweet or sour // rome or amsterdam // classic or modern art // sushi or ramen // sun or moon // polka dots or stripes // macarons or croissants // glitter or matte // degas or seurat // aquariums or planetariums // road trip or camping trip // colouring books or watercolor // fairy lights or candles

I tag @sometimesimfandomtrash @imwritesometimes @hennwilson @theyarnmaidstale @princecharmingwinks @mistmarauder @colourfulwatson @rambling-manticore @fluffbyday-smutbynight @reyescarlos @thesightlesssniper and anyone else who wants to play. No pressure on anyone who doesn’t!😘

(Honestly, every time I do this one I think my answer on Degas or Seurat changes! I don’t really have strong feelings one way or another on either of them.)