Some Things I've Learned Abt Myself Since I Gave Daddy Control Of My Orgasms

some things i've learned abt myself since i gave Daddy control of my orgasms 💕

#1: the tiniest things make me feel subby n horny

when i started this, i definitely expected that my fantasies would get more raunchy and perverted the longer the denial went on. and while i have developed some new kinks (thanks to Daddy being so hot n perfect n addictive n sooo fun to please 🥺🥺🥺), the bigger surprise was how easily i get turned on. counterintuitively, some of my fantasies have gotten more innocent and yet they get me unfathomably horny lol. i genuinely could make a series about it. just small little things that make me melt and get me stupidly wet.

at its core, it's because denial makes me feel more submissive. trust me there's nothing i love more than the thought of submitting to him in bed and him fucking my brains out, lord knows i can neeever get enough of it 🥴 but that desire just bleeds into everything, all the time. when i don't get to cum, that feeling of needing to be beneath him never shuts off. it's not exactly that i feel horny 24/7, but i feel submissive 24/7. the desire to please him, to worship him, to be good for him, is so constant.

or maybe it's just that Daddy brings out my submissive side even more n submitting to him is just right and natural hehe 🩷 either way, it's so so so fun n addictive !! i want him to feel the power n control he has over me all the time.

#2: edging is always about pleasing him <3

edging is soooo addictive, it's a problem lol. it's definitely made touching myself infinitely more fun, bc i used to just have one or two orgasms and then settle down and that's it. but edging can go on and on and on and aaaaaa i never wanna stop!!!! usually i'm forced to when my vibrator dies on me lol. does it drive me insane n make me wanna cry every time i have to pull away to stop myself from going over the edge? yes but that's part of the fun 🤭

that said, no matter how much i love it, the most fun (and important!) thing is remembering that i'm doing it for Daddy's pleasure. and i've found that the best way of doing that, and the best way to make sure Daddy gets the most enjoyment out of my edging, is to make something for him while doing it! i adooore recording myself edging for him, or writing something smutty for him to read (yes, including this post~).

definitely nothing compares to sexting him while i edge, bc his words will always have a bigger effect on me than any porn or erotica in the world ever could because it's 💖 him 💖 hehe. but !! if ever we can't talk directly while i edge, making something for him to enjoy is such a lovely way to feel closer to him. it makes me feel like he's right there, stroking his cock to my words and my voice, and it just makes me louder and needier and closer.

there's just so much to enjoy about it! it makes the edging so much more effective at turning me into a needy, slutty mess for Daddy to play with whenever his heart desires. it reminds me that my body belongs to him, and that i'm being given permission to cum so he can enjoy it, so i better make sure he enjoys it.

#3: no touch is indescribably fun

there are days that are noticeably much more intense. like... beyond overwhelming, my whole body is tingling, horniness at a 12 out of 10. i don't really know why. maybe it's hormones. maybe it's just that some days i get to spend more time with Daddy and i feel closer to him and it drives me crazy. but what i do know is that i really love not touching myself on those days.

it's partly bc i would definitely lose my edge if i did lol. but for the most part, it's because it feels so good to just sit in that feeling. when my body craves him so badly that just the thought of him sends waves of pleasure throughout my body. even without touching myself at all, just reading his words makes me whine and moan and shake.

i've honestly never even asked to touch myself on days like that. they don't happen too often, and when they have, i was so overwhelmed by it that i just needed to process it. i didn't know i could feel that way from just talking to someone. over text, too!! it's mindblowing. and i've said as much to him, "how do you do this to me?"

on a slightly funny note, on days like that, i genuinely can't bring myself to do the whole ooo sexy dirty talk thing. i just feel so overwhelmed by it, both the emotional connection i feel to him as well as the physical sensations, that i immediately default to therapy-mode and start just... describing it. which i think he definitely enjoyed regardless. but i was doing a body scan mid sexting lol, no joke. it's kinda meditative, literally! just sitting there and feeling it, every bit of it. really letting his every word wash over me and noticing how it makes my heart feel so light, my head feel so wonderfully fuzzy, my cunt so so wet. those are some of the moments when i've felt closest to him and ugh, it's so wonderful <3

it's honestly a very big part of why i want to keep going with the denial. i genuinely didn't know it was possible to feel this way. it's all mental, and yet the physical effect it has on me is so real. i want to see how much further it can go, because i know it can go so much further. the closer Daddy and i get, the more i understand how my mind and body react to his dominance, the more intense it'll get.

i don't know what would be more fun... begging to touch myself on one these days and being told no? or explicitly being ordered to touch myself and record myself trying desperately not to go over the edge? either way, i can't wait for the many more wonderful experiences i'll have with Daddy 🩷

the lesbian pipeline of finding cocks disgusting and saying you can't be a lesbian if you like them to hearing other lesbians say that lesbians can like cock so maybe it's okay to craving cock and being filled up by one being your only desire 🩷

I thought for years and several unsuccessful relationships that I was a lesbian or at least bisexual with a strong preference for women. Everything just seemed to fall apart in the bedroom, sooner rather than later, and I’d almost convinced myself that I was somewhere on the asexual spectrum, because I always stopped wanting or even being interested in sex.

And then I confessed to having less-than-platonic feelings for an old friend, and we started hooking up, and it turns out I was wrong. I’m not gay, and I’m not asexual. I’m submissive. He’s extremely dominant and it’s excellent - I’ve never been more sexually fulfilled than with him.

I definitely never expected to be begging for cock, but I am, I love it, and I’m definitely not a lesbian.

This is incredibly cute, Anon! I'm so happy for you - that you found your place.

I wonder how your old lovers would feel, if they knew. Not only are you yet another data point for the old stereotype that every lesbian "just needs the right dick" - you didn't even know you wanted it until a man made you beg! So many women have tried so hard to make people believe that they didn't, on some level, truly need a man - but your deeply buried desire wasn't just to be with a man, it was to be beneath him.

I wonder how many girls there are like you - forever seeking the wrong thing, forever wondering why it doesn't feel real enough.

I wonder how many girls think they need a wife when they just need a collar.

Going to "but think of how much harder you'll cum later if you just keep edging now" my way into denying your needy little cunt for days, weeks, even months at time.

All with the promise that the release will be worth it. Better than anything you've ever felt. Building and building. Even as I use your pretty holes as a cum dump relentlessly. Even as I make a Fleshlight out of your constantly dripping, denied fuckmeat. Even as I cum over and over while you can only edge. Leaving you to hump my thigh for any tiny semblance of relief after, only to fall asleep yet another night with a desperately throbbing cunt.

Time passes in a warm haze. You wake up wet most days, already rubbing your thighs together in your sleep. Living in a state of near constant arousal. In rut. In heat. That hot melty feeling between your legs grows addicting. You're sensitivity increases, as does your need. Both dialed up to eleven, making it harder to resist sliding your fingers into your soaked panties. To edge and edge and edge. Denial and desire on a constant spiralling loop in your head.

But it's all worth it in the end, isn't it?

Surely, I'll let you cum eventually, right?

Of course I will, dummy.

But think of how much harder you'll cum later if you just keep edging now...

I swear I’m a butch who only tops I’m just wet in my boxers and humping my mattress to all your posts um I mean what

The butches, the tops, and the dommes are some of my favorite dykes to watch fall down this slippery slope… because they have the most to lose in the eyes of their fellow lesbians.

All that power you have over women, making them moan and writhe beneath you, acting all confident and aloof, visually presenting as highly on the Kinsey scale as you can get… and yet deep down you know it’s all a front.

All it takes is just reading about being used by a man, scrolling past some fantasy that makes your pussy clench in just the right way, and you feel your brain seize up and your breathing go shallow as you realize fuck… you’re no different from any of these other mewling, submissive, pathetic cunts. Nothing feels as good as realizing how weak and powerless you are, that your strength, your confidence, even your sexuality don’t matter at all compared to your body’s natural instincts to submit. The more humiliating it is, the further your fall from grace, the more intense and degrading the fantasies become, the better it gets.

Before you know it, every time you top and there’s some subby little dyke losing her mind and moaning on your strap, you won’t be able to shake that thought… is that what I’m going to sound like when I’m in her place, and a man is in mine? The answer is no, of course. You have so much more to prove, after all: you’re going to be even louder.

it drives me crazy that no matter what we want, what position we’re in or who’s doing us we will get pregnant.

Our body doesn’t know or care what we want, it’s just doing what it’s made for.

It’s just not fair, isn’t it? Despite being lesbian, asexual, a straight trans man, or completely uninterested in bearing children, just one single moment of capitulation, one drop of a man’s cum inside you, is all it takes. You don’t even have to want it… because your body does. And it won’t stop until it gets what it wants. Your own womb is plotting against you… and it fights dirty.

You poor, poor thing… it must be so frustrating, especially when you ovulate, when your body reminds you of its purpose, when all these hormonal urges get stronger against your will, when you feel the shame of getting turned on by what should disgust you. But there, in the back of your mind, your most primal instincts are whispering to you, encouraging you to give up the fight, to surrender to your biological imperative, to pass on your genes just the way millions of years worth of evolution conspired to.

And every time you come back here, every time you rub another one out to a humiliating fantasy of being mounted and bred, those urges gain a little more ground. Your judgment starts to erode, bit by bit, your fantasies start to become more vivid, your resolve starts to weaken. Sooner or later, you won’t have the strength to contain it any more. The harder you fight it, the harder you’re going to snap. So why bother? You were born to lose.