THE ANSWER: XI

THE ANSWER: XI

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’ pairing: ateez x fem reader genre: cult au, thriller, angst check warnings on AO3

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The silence in your room is deafening. You remain on the bed, trying to work through what had just happened in your mind.

Seonghwa had just told you he wanted you dead and threatened to beat you. You’re presumably locked in this small room, with absolutely no escape. You’re stranded in the middle of nowhere, your car gone and lacking the allies that could help you escape. The leader of this place also threatened your life, and must be clinically insane. 

But hey, at least you’re not dead, right? You let out a single, wry chuckle. 

Trying to quell the panic starting to course through your body, you attempt to think rationally. There are people that know where you are. You told Jungeun and Haseul that you would be back today. They have the farm’s address. When you don’t let them know how it went by tonight, they’ll have to know that something is up. They know that you’re not the type of person to just leave them hanging.

Your boss also knows where you are, somewhat. You had told him that you would be gone for the weekend. When you don’t show up for work tomorrow, with absolutely no notice, he’ll know that something happened. Knowing your boss, though, he probably wouldn’t even notice you hadn’t shown up until one of your coworkers asked where you were. He’s going to be too busy admiring ‘Adam’ for the next few days. You roll your eyes thinking about that man’s obsession with decor. Who would want to stare at two nude portraits while drinking a coffee? 

You sigh. Even if your boss doesn’t notice, and even if Haseul or Jungeun doesn’t worry when they don’t hear from you, they will definitely know that something is wrong within a few days. Hopefully they wouldn’t come to find out what’s happening for themselves, though. You shudder, thinking of one of your poor friends coming looking for you and finding herself in the same exact situation. No, hopefully they would be smart enough to get the cops. Hopefully.

You hang your head. What the fuck are you supposed to do until then? What do you do until someone notices that you’re missing and comes to find you?

Rationally, you figure that you should probably go along with whatever happens. If they think that you’re being obedient, then they have no reason to hurt you. However, the thought of even pretending to follow along turns your stomach. There’s no way in hell that you would give Hongjoong that satisfaction. 

Even though you don’t know much about him, you’ve seen enough cult documentaries to assume some things about his personality. He must be a narcissist, with an insane God complex. He’s clearly charismatic, gaining the loyalty of nearly fifty people (if that’s truly how many members there are). From your own first meeting with him, you remember finding him handsome, and maybe even a little charming. The way his voice flows so smoothly captivates people, like he plans every conversation he has while also making it feel effortless. Hongjoong must be smart. Insanely smart. 

You wonder for a second if he believes the things he preaches. He’s crazy either way; but whether or not he truly believes these delusions he has determines how crazy. If he honestly believes what he tells these people, that would make him less disturbing. If he doesn’t, however, and he’s merely leading these people on for fun… 

He’s fucking sick. Either way, you don’t want to obey him. He’s convinced too many people of his lies, he took Mingi from you. 

Fuck, you had kind of forgotten about Mingi. What’s he doing right now? His chores? He thinks that you’ve left him. How will he react when he finds out that you’re still here? Is he so far gone that he’ll be happy that you’ve been locked up and are being held captive? Or will he know it’s wrong? Fuck, you don’t even know. 

That begs the question, will Seonghwa (and, presumably, Hongjoong) even tell anyone that you’re still here? Or will they just keep it a secret until they eventually kill you? Are they going to kill you? Would they even have reason to? You do suppose that Hongjoong did say he would kill you… but he didn’t exactly say under what circumstances. Plus, Seonghwa had said plain to your face that Hongjoong wanted you alive.

But why? What’s stopping him from just killing you now? The sick excitement of recruiting another person to worship him? His giant ego wanting another person under his command? It’s probably something like that.

By God, you’re not going to give him that satisfaction. 

All you have to do is survive the next few days until someone notices your absence. That shouldn’t be too hard.

Picking your head up, you take in the room once more. It looks exactly the same as you had left it. You stand, walking to the window to gaze out at the field. There’s still no one that you can see. Where did everybody go? Turning your attention to the frame of the window, you try to find the lock. Not that you would be able to get out through the window, considering the four story drop, but you look nonetheless. It would be nice to get some fresh air. 

Unfortunately, you can’t locate the lock. You put your hands underneath the fame and push up. attempting to get the window to slide. It doesn’t budge. Figures. 

You move on to take in more of the room. Your clothes are still littered around the floor, flung about from your frantic searching earlier. You wonder if you’ll be given clean clothes to match everyone else’s. Probably. If you ever end up leaving this room again.

You sit back onto the edge of the bed, leaning your arms back to hold yourself steady. Your eyes naturally find the desk opposite of the bed, and you’re surprised to see something new. A book.

Had that been there when you tore your bag apart earlier? Or had someone come in while you were at breakfast? Or was it when you had tried to leave? 

Whenever it got there, a sinking feeling in your stomach tells you that you already know what it is. The black binding looks just the same. 

You stand and take the few steps to the desk, pausing in front of the chair. Looking down, it’s just what you think. THE ANSWER. It looks exactly like the copies in the chapel, a black cover with silver embossed details. Picking the book up, you debate opening it up.

On one hand, reading it and knowing just what sort of crazy this place is might be beneficial. On the other, you don’t want to read some brainwashing cult material. Reading the book would also mean showing interest, which is the opposite of what you want to do. You weigh the options in your head. 

Glaring down at the book, you drop it back onto the desk. It lands askew, no longer looking pristine in its position. No way in hell are you reading that thing.

A sudden bell rings out through the hallways, startling you. Instinctively, you turn toward the door, but, of course, nothing has changed. After the bell finishes ringing, you strain to listen for people. The fact that you still haven't seen a single person (other than Seonghwa) since San and Mingi left you alone is getting to be a bit creepy.

Still, you know they all must be around somewhere. When you don’t hear anyone outside the door, you turn back to the window. Outside, you can finally see people pouring into the door below you. From all different directions there are people moving toward the building. For a moment, you try to find Mingi, but you fail to spot his red hair in the crowd.

Flopping back onto the bed, you wonder when your lunch will be.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

Lucky for you, it’s not too much later. Maybe thirty or so minutes after the bell had originally rang, a knock comes at your door. It startles you once more, making you sit up straight toward the door.

On the bottom half of the door, a slot slides open. It opens from the outside, and it’s probably about ten inches wide and four inches tall, and only about a foot and a half off of the ground. You get off the bed to investigate.

You walk to the door, crouching in front of it. You keep your distance, not wanting anything from the outside to be able to reach you, as you move to be eye-level with the opening. You’re greeted with another pair of eyes staring right back at you, spooking you. You stumble back, landing on your butt and fully sitting on the floor now. 

The eyes crinkle up in a smile, “Hey, (Y/n),” A somewhat familiar voice says through the door. “It’s Wooyoung!” He leans back to show more of his face, bringing a hand up to give you a small wave. 

Stunned, you do the same. “Hello, Wooyoung.” 

“I brought you lunch!” He smiles, leaning off to the side to grab something that you can’t quite see. He lifts up a tray, heaping with food. “I’ll slide it through, please grab it so it doesn’t fall.” He makes eye contact with you, nodding a bit before coaxing the tray through the slot. You reach your hands out, grabbing the end and accepting the food.

“Thank you,” you resume eye contact with Wooyoung as soon as you can. As satisfying as it would have been to simply let the tray drop, this place has good food. And you had totally forgone breakfast. Your stomach lets out a grumble as you look down to the serving. Wooyoung must have gotten you a serving of everything, there’s so much food on the plate.

“Don’t mention it!” Wooyoung smiles again, waving his hands as if to brush off your gratitude. “If you remember, I work in the kitchens, so it’s really no big deal.”

Right, Wooyoung is in charge of food. Not being able to resist anymore, you grab a bread roll and start eating. Wooyoung continues to watch you through the door, scooting backwards to rest his back onto the door opposite yours. 

You make it through a few sides before your mind starts to think rationally again. “Say, Wooyoung,” you set the tray to your left, moving it away from you. “Does Hongjoong know you’re here?”

Wooyoung giggles. “Well, he was the one that asked me to feed you… so yes.”

You nod, scrunching your face up. “So there’s no chance you’d open the door for me then, huh?”

“Sorry, no.” 

Continuing to nod, you turn your attention back to your food. At least you tried. Damnit, Wooyoung is a good cook. 

You finish eating in silence, Wooyoung sitting across from you the whole time. Shortly thereafter, he leaves, letting you know that he’ll be back with dinner later. 

Before he can get too far, you call out to him, “Wait, wait, Wooyoung,” you hear his footsteps stop and then backtrack to your door. He opens the slot in the door once more, peering in at you in question.

“How can I use the restroom?” 

Wooyoung cranes his neck down the hallway, seemingly looking for something. “I can send Seonghwa up if you need to.” He turns back toward you, looking concerned.

“Why- why Seonghwa?” You’re not too eager on the thought of seeing him again. Especially not on the thought of him chaperoning you to the bathroom. 

“He’s the only one allowed to open the door- well, besides Hongjoong, of course. Would you rather I got him?” Wooyoung continues to stare at you with genuine concern.

Wow, that’s somehow even worse. “No, I’m good for now. Thanks, though.” You give Wooyoung a tight smile, appreciating that he seems like he really wants to help you. His concerned look breaks to return a smile.

With that, he really does leave, and you listen to his steps become inaudible as he walks away.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

Waiting for the dinner bell is almost torture. Seriously, when was the last time you had to entertain yourself with absolutely nothing for almost five hours? Your only option for enrichment is the book sitting on the desk, and you’re loath to read it. Instead, you switch off between pacing around and reclining on the bed. Is this how zoo animals feel?

Sure enough, however, the dinner bell eventually rings out through the building, and you know that Wooyoung will be back soon. If you’ve made it this long, surely you can wait a few more minutes… 

But, damn, do those minutes sure drag on. You try to picture what must be going on in the cafeteria below you. Is Hongjoong giving some weird speech? Is he talking about you? Fuck, seriously, does Mingi know that you’re still here? You’ve been trying to not think about Mingi for the time being, but the thought of him sitting at a cafeteria table, eyes glued to Hongjoong, gripping onto his every word… 

You shudder. Yesterday’s dinner was creepy enough, you can’t even imagine how weird things will get once Hongjoong isn’t actively trying to not scare you away. Clearly, he’s given up on that notion now, but you still wonder. Will he keep up a bit of a front? Or let the curtain fall entirely, all at once? 

You’re guessing the former. Hongjoong will probably try to lure you in slowly, feeding you somewhat rational ideas before the all-out crazy ones. That’s his vibe. You’re guessing he knows that if he were to just throw people into the deep end, he wouldn’t have much success. 

Another knock comes at your door, but this time you’re ready. Time flies when you’re thinking of Hongjoong, apparently. You get off the bed and take the few steps to the door, squatting down before sitting. You cross your legs as the slot opens up again, and you can spot Wooyoung’s familiar face once more.

“Hi!” He greets you, making himself comfortable on the opposite side of your door. 

You smile, mostly out of the relief. He had come back like he said he would. Not that you really doubted him, but, hey, this isn’t exactly a place where you would imagine many promises are kept. “Hello,” you welcome him back. 

“As promised,” Wooyoung says, turning to look to his left side and reaching to grab something, “I brought dinner.” He holds a tray up in front of him. Again, it’s overflowing with different types of food. He starts sliding it through the slot, and you graciously accept it. 

“Thank you,” you smile at him once the tray is entirely on your side.

He shakes his head again like he had earlier when you thanked him. “Don’t mention it! Can I get you anything else?” He asks, returning your smile. 

You glance down at the tray. There's way too much food for one person to reasonably consume, so you shake your head. Looking back up at him, he’s still smiling. “You missed a good service.”

You pause, your smile faltering. Did something happen? Something bad? Wooyoung quickly notices your confusion. “Did you start reading The Answer? Services probably won’t make much sense until you’ve read it. I’m pretty sure they put one in here for you…?” He asks, trailing off. “If not, I can get you one!” 

You quickly shake your head. “No, I have one… but I haven’t started reading it yet.” You’re honest with Wooyoung. You can’t imagine that he would blame you. 

He nods, but his smile fades. “You really should read it, you might not be chosen otherwise.” 

… More codewords. “Chosen?” You ask, hoping that you’ll actually get an explanation for once. Why can’t these people just use normal language? It may not be as fun and mysterious, but it would sure help you out.

“During your ceremony,” He starts, gazing in at you, “you might not be chosen to stay with us if you disrespect God by ignoring His Answer.” 

Oh. So that might be even more cryptic. Your ceremony? Ceremony for what? What’s supposed to happen at this ceremony? Chosen? Chosen by God? Stay with them? As in, if you aren’t chosen, you get to leave? About a million questions flash through your mind as you process what Wooyoung just told you. Things in this place just keep getting weirder. 

Even though you’re sure you look sufficiently confused, you nod to Wooyoung like you comprehended a word he just said. “Ah, okay,” is all you can think to say, staring down at your food again. 

And, with that, Wooyoung and you lapse into a slightly uncomfortable silence. It’s definitely not a comfortable one, but it isn’t so bad. As he had earlier, he scooches against the opposite door and watches you eat through the slot. 

Once you’ve had your fill, you let him know and hand the tray back to him. He takes it, smiling and bidding you a goodnight. You do the same, before standing and resuming your previous boredom. 

You turn your head toward the desk, glaring at the askew book. Despite what Wooyoung said, you’re not going to read it. Anything you learn about this place will be against your will.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

After watching the sun set outside of your window, you decide that sleeping would be better than this mind-numbing boredom. You’re starting to need to use the bathroom, but you’re going to hold off on that for literally as long as humanly possible. The thought of having to have Seonghwa or Hongjoong escort you to the bathroom is the last thing you want. 

You change into your pajamas from last night, seeing as you had only packed one pair. Throwing the blankets back, you crawl into bed and pull them over you. 

Despite having all day alone to think, your mind is still too preoccupied for you to really relax. You’re literally being held hostage by a religious cult. Why do these things happen to you? Why did your best friend have to join a cult? Why couldn’t he have just decided he hated his life, changed his name, and moved away to Europe or something? 

How had Mingi even heard of this place? Who recruited him? How did he end up here, looking up to Hongjoong like he saved his life? You want to give Mingi the benefit of the doubt, but seriously. How did he let this happen? Mingi had never been the most serious or sophisticated person, but you still think that he would never have been stupid enough to fall for a cult’s bullshit. He might be a little naive, but not this naive, right? Is Mingi really the type of person to be manipulated so easily? 

You don’t think so. Not your Mingi, at least. The Mingi you knew was always inquisitive in class, always questioning why things were the way that they were. He found deeper meanings in everything, in everyone. You have to believe that it would have been extremely difficult to feed Mingi such obvious lies and propaganda and have him simply believe them. Something had to have happened. But wouldn’t he have told you? Well… maybe not. Considering his disappearance. Still, you think that if Mingi had a traumatic experience, it would’ve come out somehow. But there was nothing when he left, and there’s nothing now. He’s just… different. Inexplicably, Mingi fell into the clutches of some psychopath. 

You can’t take not having the answers. You make a mental note to make sure you have a serious conversation with Mingi as soon as possible, not that you imagine that will be anytime soon. Again, you wonder if Mingi knows that you’re still here. Is he upset? Does he miss you? Is he alone right now, like you are? 

Your heart aches. You can’t truly blame any of this on Mingi. You cringe as you remember your outburst from this morning. Why had you yelled? Why had you blamed him? It’s not even his own fault that he’s here. It’s Hongjoong’s. 

You don’t know how he did it, but he stole Mingi out of your life. Hongjoong convinced him of his lies. He tore your best friend away from you and fundamentally changed him as a person. That rat bastard is lucky you don’t have a weapon. 

You’re sure you could probably take him with your bare hands, he’s pretty scrawny looking. Seonghwa would be the issue, him and his ability to throw you across rooms and whatnot. Wait, why hadn’t you thought of this before? Surely if you attacked one of them, that would count as self defense. They’ve locked you up against your will and also threatened your life. 

But you roll your eyes to yourself. There’s no way you could kill someone. You probably couldn’t even attack someone either. At least not at your current level of desperation. Maybe if you’re physically threatened…

You shake your head, ridding yourself of the thought. You shouldn’t plan on harming anyone, even if they are maniacs. That honestly makes the idea even more dangerous. You doubt Seonghwa would hesitate to end you if you threatened Hongjoong, despite his wishes to keep you alive. The best way to stay safe right now is to wait it out until someone realizes that you’re missing. 

Suddenly, there’s another knock on the door. You quickly sit up, shrinking back in the bed. Who the hell is here to bother you at night?

You’re quickly answered as the slot in the bottom opens, “(Y/n), it’s Yunho. Are you awake?” He whisper-yells into your room. 

Quickly ridding the blankets off of yourself and getting out of bed, you move to sit in front of the door for the third time today. Peeking through the slot, you’re greeted by a big smile. 

“Good!” He exclaims, his voice returning to normal volume. “I just wanted to let you know that we’re all so happy you decided to stay.” He beams through the slot, looking as innocent as ever.

Huh, is that what Hongjoong is telling people? That you decided to stay? Funny. Real funny. “Yunho,” you begin, not able to hold back your response, “does it really look like I want to be here? I’m locked in this room.” You blink at him, waiting for his response.

He just laughs. “Well, you did disrespect Hongjoong’s wishes and try to leave.” He shrugs at you, tilting his head to the side. “But you’ll be out soon! Almost all of us start in one of these locked rooms!” He lets out another giggle with the last statement.

“How reassuring.” Sarcasm drips from your response. 

Yunho doesn’t seem to catch on to it. “Right! Hongjoong says your future with us is bright!” 

Uh-huh. Totally. “Great.” You say in perhaps the plainest voice you can muster. You don’t want to sound interested or encourage Yunho any further. 

“Well, anyways,” he keeps smiling at you despite your response, “Seonghwa is here for you.”

“Wha-” you’ve barely gotten a sound out when the lock on the door starts jingling, and Seonghwa’s legs appear at Yunho’s side. The door quickly opens, smacking you in the process. The doorknob hits you square in the forehead, sending you sprawling onto the floor. 

Seonghwa shoves the door open, despite it hitting your lower half and resisting. He towers over you, the judgement evident in his face. 

“Ouch!” You yell up at him in frustration, bringing a hand up to your forehead despite the pain receding quickly. What a dick ass move. 

He simply keeps staring down at you, watching as you prop yourself back into a seated position. “How pathetic,” he gives you a pitiful smile that quickly changes to one of amusement. “Get up.” 

You’re still too shocked by his sudden appearance to even wonder why he’s here. You’re apparently too slow to respond to his command as well, as he soon reaches down for you. “I said get up.” He wraps a hand around your upper arm, heaving you off of the floor until you’re standing. 

He gives you a once over, smirking at your pajamas. “How cute.” He mutters, his other hand comes up to grab the hemline of your shirt, toying with it for a moment. His fingertips graze the skin of your stomach, their coolness sending a shock down your spine. He stares down at his hand, watching his fingers slide the fabric around. 

Seonghwa’s hand is quickly gone, however, and his face loses all traces of an expression. He not-so-gently pulls you to the door, yanking you behind him. You stumble around Yunho, who has stood up and is now leaning against your door frame. 

“Hold on,” you wriggle in Seonghwa’s grasp, trying to slow his stride down the hallway. “Where are we going?” 

He doesn’t stop despite your efforts. “Do I need to carry you again?” His voice is stern as you continue to dig your heels into the floor. 

“Where are we going?” You ask again, not responding to his question. 

Seonghwa finally stops, turning his head toward you. “Will you walk like a big girl if I tell you?” He fake pouts at you, speaking to you like you’re a child. 

“That’s hard to answer at this point,” you tell him honestly. If he tells you he’s taking you to be fed through a woodchipper, you’ll probably continue to resist. 

Seonghwa rolls his eyes at you. In one motion, he releases your arm and wraps his arm around to your other side as he bends to bunch your knees in his other arm. Before you know it, he’s picked you up and is carrying you down the hallway again. At least this time he didn’t throw you over his shoulder. 

You sigh. “Where are we going?” You ask again, glaring at the side of Seonghwa’s head.

“To Hongjoong.” 

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THE ANSWER: IV

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’ pairing: ateez x fem reader genre: cult au, thriller, angst check warnings on AO3

← previous || next → || masterlist chapter word count: 2,076

You let the thought simmer in your mind for a few days.

You and Mingi continued to talk and catch up, and he seemed to be getting more relaxed and like himself as time went on. Its been about two days since you got into contact. Now, its Tuesday night. Mingi is urging you to come visit on Saturday. He keeps telling you how badly he wants to see you in person and, if you’re being honest with yourself, you desperately want to see him, too. It had been so long, and you could probably kill for one of his hugs.

That’s how he used to always greet you, with a hug. His signature style was the pick-up-spin. He’d tightly wrap his arms around the lower part of your waist and hoist you up, spinning the both of you until you were dizzy. Then he’d set you down and give you that big smile, his eyes shrinking as his smile grew larger and larger. Sometimes, he’d leave his hands on your waist and you would simply stand there, admiring the feeling. Thinking back, you wonder why you had never appreciated the greetings more. 

Anyhow, you still have your reservations about visiting Mingi. Sure, you have the weekend off and it wouldn’t be a big deal to go. However, you have to take into account the fact that you are a single woman, and it probably wouldn’t be that hard to kidnap you. Then again, you find it very hard to believe that Mingi would ever willingly put you in danger. If he thought that you would get hurt, there is no way he would be inviting you. 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

While you’re at work later that day, you still are laboring over your decision. You even find yourself about to ask your boss; but he seems busy, as he had bought another painting to hang up. Though this painting he had purchased was not another ass naked lady, it wasn’t really a step above her. It was an ass naked man. Your boss had happily proclaimed ‘we have an Adam for Eve’ when he showed it to you when you arrived for your shift. Great. Just what you wanted. Another nude portrait to stare at for hours at work. 

You try to at least look busy, despite your mind being occupied and there being absolutely no customers in the shop. You’re about to make sure that the coffee makers are hot for the tenth time today, until you hear your phone ding from your back pocket. Looking up to make sure your boss is still preoccupied with ‘Adam,’ you quickly pull your phone out to see the message.

To your surprise (and mild disappointment) its Jungeun. Apparently she’s got a group of friends from school to agree to hang out tonight, and is wondering if you’ll join. You think about it for a second. Do you really want to go out drinking on a Tuesday night? When Mingi was on the forefront of your mind? You would probably end up embarrassing yourself, but you decide that you should go. Plus, then you can tell them all about your dilemma. For a second, you wonder who all will be there, but decide against asking. You really shouldn’t be on your phone in front of your boss.

“(Y/n), come over here and let me know if Adam looks crooked,” your boss says unnecessarily loud, beckoning to you from behind the corner. You sigh as you move out to join him on the floor. At least you have something to look forward to tonight.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

The place that the group of friends had decided on was one that had been popular amongst you all when you were in school. The bar is technically named ‘Wonderland,’ but had been affectionately nicknamed ‘Dirt’ by students long before yourself. The nickname was given because the place was ‘dirt’ cheap, a necessity for any university student.

When you arrive at Dirt, you sit in your car for a moment. Do you really want to go in? Really? Wouldn’t it be better to just go home and seriously think about visiting Mingi? Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you remind yourself that you deserve this. Your whole life didn’t need to revolve around Mingi… right?

Grabbing your bag from the passenger’s seat, you open your door and step out of the car. You’re immediately greeted by the loud din coming from the inside of the bar, but its almost a comforting sound.  The cool, nearly-autumn air soothes some of your nerves. When was the last time you had gone out? It had to have been before graduation-- before Mingi left. 

You walk into the bar, stepping over the threshold and taking in the familiar sights. The long, wooden bar that ran from end to end on the left side of the room; the circular tables with mismatched chairs; and the walls plastered in pictures of patrons past. As soon as you glance to the ‘Wall of Fame,’ you can’t help but walk over to it. The ‘Wall of Fame’ was devoted to every and any one that was able to finish the signature ‘Wonderland Meal.’ The meal consisted of a quadruple cheeseburger, 12 chicken wings, a serving of tater tots, and a literal half gallon of Corona. Since you had visited last, there clearly had been more winners. New students that you didn’t recognize peppered the walls, mostly uninteresting frat boys, but you knew what you were looking for. Now surrounded by a cluster of others, was the photo Mingi had had taken of him when he completed the challenge. 

He had insisted on you being in the picture with him. His arm was flung over your shoulders, holding you close to him. You were looking up at him, holding a hand up and trying to hide your face from the camera while he was smiling radiantly at it. The flash had been on, and the background surrounding the two of you hadn’t developed in the picture. It looked like the two of you were completely alone, with only each other in a black abyss. Mingi looked so happy.

And he had been happy, until the next day. He was so sick that he couldn’t even get himself out of bed. Fulfilling your duties as his best friend, you hadn’t gone to any of your classes that day so that you could take care of him. He moaned and groaned the entire day, whining about how you could have let him do this to himself. You consistently reminded him that you had told him it would be a terrible idea, and how he had ignored your advice. He still blamed it on you, though. 

“Hey, (Y/n), you in there?” 

You’re immediately pulled out of the memory by the feeling of a hand on your shoulder. You turn to face the owner, and find Jungeun standing at your side. “I called your name, like, three times. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” You assure her, trying your hardest to put a genuine smile on your face. It doesn’t work very well. “Is everyone here yet?”

Jungeun removes her hand from your shoulder to gesture over to one of the tables behind you. Sure enough, its full with a few others that you had known from school. Changbin, of course, along with Haseul, Juyeon, and Soojin. You can’t help but feel the usual ache in your stomach when you comprehend Mingi’s absence. Changbin is the first to notice that you’ve turned around, and he waves at you happily. The others quickly take notice and start to wave you over. 

Blushing, you make your way over to the table with Jungeun in tow. You two take the only two empty spots at the table. Once the awkwardness of your semi-late arrival passes, the evening takes off.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

“Wait, (Y/n), tell them about the Mingi situation,” Jungeun giggles, leaning back in her chair so hard that it almost tips over. 

Everyone at the table bursts out laughing in response that you almost forget what she had said by the time everyone cools down. Your cheeks hurt from smiling, and the pleasant warmth coursing through your body does nothing to stop you from blurting it out.

“Well, remember Song Mingi?” You ask, bringing your glass up to take a sip as the group watches you. “How he dropped out? Apparently he joined a commune,” you cut yourself off with a laugh. A commune! Everyone joins you in your laughter.

“A commune? Who joins a commune in 2021?” Haseul manages to choke out, laughing so hard that she looks like she’s struggling to breathe. 

“That’s what I’m wondering!” Juyeon yells, perhaps a bit louder than he anticipated.

“Shhhhh guys, wait until you hear the rest,” Jungeun brings a finger to her lips, exaggerating her motions. 

Once you’ve caught your breath again, you resume, “He invited me to come visit.”

This inspires an entirely new bout of laughter, and you suddenly feel dizzy. The weight of reality settles on your shoulders again. You set the glass in your hand down, pushing it towards the center of the table. God, you are so going to regret this tomorrow.

Your mood must influence the table, because everyone is suddenly as quiet as you are. Haseul glances at Soojin, who glances at Jungeun, who glances at you. 

“Why the sour mood all of a sudden?” Changbin asks, his pink cheeks serving to make him look only more confused. Juyeon, sitting on Changbin’s left, pinches his side, but he does not take the hint. “Oh yeah, (Y/n) had a thing fo-”

He’s cut off by Soojin slapping him upside the head.

Everyone looks over to you, trying to gauge your reaction. Honestly, you don’t even know how to react. You’re dizzy, the light above the table is too bright, and Changbin isn’t making sense at all. You feel your lips melt into a frown. This isn’t right. You know what Changbin was going to say, and it just wasn’t true. You place your elbows up on the table, leaning your head down to rest your face in your hands. You feel like crying.

“Are you going to go?” You hear Haseul ask from your right. She says it so softly that you almost don’t hear it. 

You take your head out of your hands and notice the wetness left by your eyes. Huh. You had started crying. You turn to face her, the wetness on your cheeks turning cold as the air moves over them. She looks serious, the flush of her face completely gone. 

“I don’t know.”

“I think you should,” Jungeun cuts in.

Now you turn to look at her. Similar to Haseul, a solemn expression has come over her face and she seems to have sobered up. 

“I really want to,” you start, but a sob works its way up your chest and cuts you off. For a second, you wonder if other people in the bar are watching. “But, wha- what if its dangerous?”

Jungeun scootches her chair closer to yours and reaches her arms out to wrap around you. She crushes you into a hug, petting the back of your head. To your side, you can hear Changbin start to ask another question, “What if its a cul-” before he is once again cut off by something you can’t see with your face buried in Jungeun’s shoulder. 

After a moment, Jungeun extends her arms and pulls back from you, making sure she can look in your eyes. “Do you think Mingi would put you in danger?” You sniffle and shake your head, bringing a hand up to wipe the tears from your eyes. 

“Then you should go.” You hear Haseul encourage from behind you. Jungeun nods in agreement and lets go of your shoulders. You lean back in your chair to take in the consensus of the group.

Soojin and Juyeon are also nodding at you. Changbin looks a bit doubtful, giving Soojin a nasty side-eye. You feel Haseul rest a hand on your right shoulder, and when you look at her, she’s smiling brightly. 

You scan over your friends’ faces, and think about how wonderful it would have been if Mingi had been here tonight. He was the only person you truly wanted to see. Nevertheless, you smile at them all. They had helped you reach your decision.

“I’ll go.”

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The One (C.S)

Final part of the Subtle Variations of Heartbreak series

summary: Who would’ve thought that Choi San, the dimpled heartbreaker you have known since you were merely fourteen years old, would be the one you’ve been looking for all this time?

warnings: smut, cursing, only slight angst, a little bit of pinning and maybe slow burn, death, sad yn

wc: almost 25k

a/n: hello everyone!! here is the final part of this extremely depressing series 😭 i want to thank all of you for joining me on this journey, this is the first series i wrote on tumblr so i was very nervous about it. thank you for all the sweet messages and feedback i’ve gotten so far it means the world. i hope you enjoy the last part as well. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANNIE ❤️

taglist:  @itbtoblikethatsometimes​ @alecanal93​ @jaehyunsonly​ @binniesbf​ @mechanica-lmomma​ @yeosangteef​ @diorwoo​ @yeolsnini​ @hhj-00​ @purenjuniverse​ @joonsthethicc​ @hyvn-jaeee​ @becauseiloveyunho​ @chittaphonstar​ @uzumakioden​ @hwaist​ @kpopnightingale​ @princessongminki @baguette-atiny​ @gyuyoungie​ @knucklesdeepmingi​ @whatdoudowhennooneseesyou

You are twenty five years old when you start to think that maybe you just weren’t made to be loved.

Keep reading

THE ANSWER: I

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’

pairing: ateez x fem reader

genre: cult au, thriller, angst

check warnings on AO3

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chapter word count: 2,016

Opening shifts are always the worst.

For the most part, the entire shift consisted of cleaning, opening, and then waiting two hours for any actual customers to show up. Occasionally, an early riser would pop their head in to start their morning, but they only appeared every 45 minutes or so. Why the owner insisted the shop open every morning at 5:30 AM was beyond you, but you sometimes appreciated the time alone.

In order to open at 5:30, you had to be on the clock by 4:45; meaning that you had to leave by 4:30, and that you had to wake up by 4. The best part about morning shifts was that you got to awake with the world. The silence when you first rise is always soon replaced by the sounds of birds. The darkness turns to dawn, and dawn to morning. It's beautiful, really, but you would probably appreciate it more if you weren’t so tired.

The absolute emptiness of the shop did nothing to help your tired mind. The quiet hum of the machines and the boredom of waiting for customers that seemed like they would never come could just lull you back to sleep. One day, you’re sure that you will awake to find that you had been sleeping on your feet, finally overcome. 

Today will not be that day. You look up and around the coffee shop. You had been working at The Bean since college, and here you still were; four years and a bachelor's degree later. The field you had chosen had been pretty tight since you graduated, and you were still struggling to find a career-worthy job. The Bean would do until then. The owner liked you, your coworkers liked you, and it paid well enough to keep your apartment. 

The Bean was nothing special. Just a few small tables and some eclectic interior design. Why your boss still had a giant painting of an ass-naked lady hanging on the wall, you would never know. When he first bought that thing and brought it in to hang, you had thought he was joking. He was not. The windows at the front of the shop faced perfectly east, allowing the sun to shine directly onto her figure every morning for a few hours. You could only hope that the sun would fade the colors. While the painting wasn’t bad, it wasn’t the best sight to have to look at for the hours that your shifts would last.

The rest of the interior was rather unremarkable. A bookcase sat in one corner, holding some of the owners favorites. Occasionally, customers would slide out a book and read while enjoying their coffee, but it was becoming more rare. People rarely came into the shop to actually sit these days. On particularly slow mornings, you would allow yourself to choose one of the worn down and stained books to read a couple chapters out of. Unfortunately, the boss wasn’t too keen on seeing you stand around, not doing anything, so you saved it for when you had absolutely nothing to do.

Deciding that you should probably at least try and look busy, you turn around to face the multitude of coffee machines behind you. You check for what could possibly be the fiftieth time that each of them is running and hot; then you move onto the fridge to check the status of the cold brew that you had made earlier. Still there. You then came out to the front of the counter to check on the food display that you had also set up earlier. Everything still looked perfect, considering you hadn’t touched a thing. 

Right as you’re about to check and see if the garbage needs to be taken out (it wouldn’t), you hear it. The gentle ting ting ting of the bell atop the front door. A customer had finally come to put you out of your misery.

You walk back around to stand behind the counter, waiting for them to make their way to you. It's an older gentleman, maybe around 70. He looks to be dressed in his best, a nice set of suspenders clinging tightly to his chest over a blue button down. As he approaches, his footsteps are slow but steady, and very light. He hardly makes a sound.

Once he’s finally up to the counter, you notice the deep smiles lines by his eyes. He displays this very smile to you as he greets you good morning.

“Good morning to you too, sir,” you welcome, “what can I get started for you today?”

He continues smiling as he simply states that he would like one large coffee, for here.

“Great, your total is going to be $2.25,” you let him know, “and could I get a name for your order?”

“Mingi,” he simply states, preparing to swipe his card in the terminal.

Mingi. Now there was a name that you hadn’t heard in a while. You look up at the man, shocked at the reminder of your old friend. You watch him finish his transaction with great care, typing in his pin number delicately. The receipt printer beeps at you, alerting you to the completed transaction. You tear it off, handing it to Mingi before moving to prepare his drink.

Just a simple large coffee in a mug. Your Mingi would have hated that. He always had a pension for the sweeter side of things. In fact, you can even remember when he would come visit you at work, giving you something to do in the early mornings. He would always order some super complicated, obnoxious drink, only so that he could fill up five minutes of your morning. He would then proceed to drink it all while sitting at one of the tables, staring at the painting every time you had to help another customer. Whenever you were free, the two of you would joke around, talk, or do whatever to fill the time. 

The sound of the coffee maker snaps you back out of it. It had beeped to let you know that it was ready. You poured old Mingi his large black coffee into one of the mismatched mugs that The Bean used. Today, you were giving this man his coffee in a mug that jovially exclaimed “I survived Southern Florida!” Had your boss really visited southern Florida? Who knows. After handing Mingi his coffee, he went to sit down at one of the tables, with his back facing the painting.

The reminder of your Mingi made you smile. Mingi had really been a great friend in college. Though he was a year below you, you two made quick friends in one of your required history classes. Neither of you were the greatest, but you sat next to each other on the first day of the semester and immediately took a liking to each other. 

For as long as you knew him, Mingi had been one of the happiest, kindest guys you had ever had the pleasure of getting to know. He was genuinely a great person. After the history class you shared ended, you two started to hang out a lot more outside class. You never had a romantic relationship, no matter how many rumors flew about it. It simply wasn’t like that. You two got very close through the years, until Mingi had dropped out last year, during your senior year.

You never got to ask why he dropped out or where he was going. He was simply gone one day. It had really torn you up, you were sick with worry and nothing could have made you feel secure. After a few weeks, you had gotten a single text from him: Sorry to leave, I’ll miss you.

It really hurt, having probably your closest friend up and leave you like that. For months, even until after graduation, you had missed him. Time had made the pain fade, and, honestly, you had a lot of other things to worry about eventually. You had been curious as to what had happened to him, but it left to the back of your mind as all other thoughts of him had.

Looking out into the now semi-occupied coffee shop, you recall the memory of a very slow morning, not unlike this one. As usual, Mingi had come to visit you and order something that would take a few minutes off your hands. That morning, he had ordered something iced despite it being the dead of winter and freezing outside. As one could imagine, having a giant caffeinated beverage over the course of less than an hour had led Mingi to be quite hyper that morning. Meanwhile, you were still trying your best to not fall asleep.

In his attempt to simultaneously keep you awake and entertain you, Mingi had pulled you out from behind the bar and tried to get you to dance with him. Of course, you resisted at first. How could you dance in a coffee shop at 6 AM? But Mingi had insisted, resting his hands on your waist and guiding your hips to sway with the nonexistent music. Mingi was so tall, there was no way you could reach behind his neck, so you had settled with resting your hands just barely at the tops of his shoulders. 

And you two danced. In a coffee shop, in the dead of winter, at 6AM, to no music at all, you two danced. It was probably one of the best mornings that you and Mingi had had together. Had you not been interrupted by your boss, maybe it would have gone somewhere. Unfortunately, you never found out. 

You’re pulled out of your memories by the Mingi that occupied The Bean at that specific moment. He had risen and waved a hand to you, before steadily making his way back out the door. Watching Mingi go makes something rise in your chest. You feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes, suddenly hyper-aware of the pain of losing Mingi again. Quickly swiping at your eyes, you resolve to try your hardest to find Mingi after your shift. He had to be out there somewhere.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。. 

The rest of your shift had gone by even slower. The anticipation of waiting was suffocating. As soon as you’re in the back room and clocked out, you call one of your closest friends from school that you still talked to, Jungeun. 

Jungeun had been in your same major program with you, so you shared many of your classes. She was your closest female friend at the time, and is currently the best friend that you have. Because of your close relationship with Mingi, Jungeun had met him many times and you were sure that she had considered him a friend as well. She was nearly as concerned as you were when he went missing, but she had quickly become employed after graduation and Mingi had slipped her mind just as he slipped yours.

Jungeun picks up after only a couple rings. “Aye, whats up?”

You almost let out a laugh, her greetings were always so carefree. You two exchange pleasantries before you get to the point of the phone call.

“Say, Jungeun, you remember Mingi, right?”

She very quickly and enthusiastically ensures you that she remembers Mingi before asking why you’re wondering.

You explain the situation that you found yourself in at work, and Jungeun lets you know that she will definitely help you look for him.

“But, (y/n), are you sure?” She asks, sounding a bit concerned. “He did kind of just… leave. Like he didn’t want to be found.”

You think about it for barely a second. Yes, you’re sure. The tears that had come up earlier made you certain. You need to know what happened to him. 

Jungeun and you agree to meet up the next day, as neither of you have to work. As you walk out of the shop, you desperately hope that your combined brain power will be able to find him.

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a/n: hehe i am finally crossposting! i've been writing this fic for like. over a year on ao3 but i decided to start posting here as well! i promise that chapters get longer and much more intriguing pretty quickly hehe just bear w me!

pairing : Choi San x (f) reader

genre : angst , fluff (squint like really hard lol)

summary : all you needed was his love.

ib: pretty flower , @zurimochi

wc : 1.3k || warnings: mentions of blood and death

first, it started off with just a cough, you being the naive person you were, just assumed it was a seasonal cold and it would go away eventually; at least that's what you told yourself. but the vomiting started, that's when you began worrying. you weren't throwing up food or anything of that sort, but instead, it was flower petals. and that's when you found yourself at the public library, searching through multiple books, trying to figure out what was going on with you. then you saw it, what had been said to be your condition.

a few weeks passed and your coughing wasn't so bad as before, you were starting to believe that maybe it was just a seasonal cold and you were being a bit dramatic. that was until you found yourself throwing up again, but instead of petals, it was an entire flower; a rose at that, one of your favorite flowers. and the sizes would differentiate, they started off small and then became bigger as the time passed on. you swore you were able to feel a growing sensation inside your lungs; which was making it hard for you to breathe at times, the pain was just unbearable.

you were sitting in your living room, a glass of warm tea being held in your hands. your apartment wasn't too small or too big, which left you with enough comfortable room since sometimes you found yourself to be claustrophobic, but it always gave you enough space for all of your personal belongings and house decor. the ending credits for The princess and the frog played on your TV screen, you tended to watch Disney movies whenever you felt upset or if you were sick, they always made you smile and laugh, putting you in a better mood. reaching out your arm to grab your remote, that was sitting on the glass table in front of you and your sofa, so you were able to change the movie, you suddenly heard your doorbell ring and then a knock afterward.

sitting down your glass of tea on the table gently, you slid on your bedroom shoes, you didn't like the way the tile floor felt against your bare feet, you made your way over to the door. pushing yourself onto your tiptoes to look through the peephole, you did this out of caution. unlocking the deadbolt on the door, then the lock on the door handle, you twisted and pulled the knob opening up the door, to be greeted with a pleasant and sweet smile from your neighbor.

you didn't look quite presentable today, you honestly just planned on trying to relax most of the evening; if you even could, these symptoms you had were starting to become a horrid pain. you were still dressed in your night clothes, which honestly just happened to be a pair of shorts and usually an old tank top in the back of your closet. leaning against the door frame you returned the smile to your neighbor. "Hello, San. it's nice to see you again... I hope you enjoyed your tour, I heard about it on twitter and elsewhere." The man let out a chuckle, using his least dominant had to push his away from his face in a backward motion. "It's nice to be back and Thanks... I did enjoy it.. the fans were sweet as always" nodding in response to his little rant, you stepped aside from the door, with what was hopefully enough room for him to come through, given his much bigger body frame and height compared to yours. "Would you like to come In? I could make you something" "That would be great" San walked into the familiar apartment, making himself comfortable like he usually did, you didn't mind though.

you'd barely even made it to the kitchen section of your apartment before you felt the need to cough again, knowing trying to hold it in wouldn't be the best idea, so you let it out. this cough was harsher than the ones before and it hurt like hell, you held your hand to your mouth as you did so noticing this time there was blood, you were coughing up blood. panic began washing over you, making you totally forget that there wasn't just you in the home. having heard all the noise Choi found himself waking to where you were, worry filed his facial expressions when seeing the sight in front of him. you'd been laid out on the floor, there was some blood on your hand and what looked to be like small petals of a flower, Choi was confused about what was going on and he wasn't sure what to do. 

you weren't sure how long you'd been passed out exactly, but whenever you woke up you found yourself in a hospital room, looking around the room you saw your neighbor, sleeping on the small couch beside your hospital bed. he looked peaceful, making a small smile form on your lips. a knock was heard at the door, that was closed before it was being opened by; who you assumed was the doctor with test results since she was holding a clipboard to her chest. the woman gave you a smile before she spoke to you, in a soft and calming manner. "Hello, Miss l/n. I'm doctor Chavez, I'm here to talk about the condition you may have" you felt your heartbeat race, which appeared on the screen that kept track of your heart rate, the doctor thought; to calm you down and assure you, which lowered the racing of your heart, but not too much. "The symptoms you are having are the form of a rare disease, the Hanahaki disease.. is what it's called. It's when one is facing a one-sided love, and I believe miss l/n, that is happening to you." 

one-sided love, that's all that played throughout your head when the woman left, but you just didn't understand, who didn't love you the same way you loved them. then it clicked, it was San. you'd loved him for as long as you could remember even before he became a member of Ateez. you loved his smile when he would stay at your apartment for hours and binge-watch both his and your favorite shows together when he would sometimes bring you along with him on tour or to his performances but with all of that you couldn't help but feel sadness wash over you every time he introduced you as just a friend. maybe it was better off telling him, to let yourself free of any more pain to come. "Choi San.." his gaze turned onto you, he knew you only called his full name when something was important; like at this moment. his hand held onto yours, but out of concern and pity. "Yes sweet?" you always loved when he called you names like that, they made your heart warm. your eyes looked into his, yours filled with sadness and love. "i.. i love you Choi San, not as a neighbor, not because of your fame, and not as a friendship kinda love. and I've wanted nothing more than for you to love me in the same way I do you, but as I see it now that will never happen." Tears had already begun forming as your eyes never felt his. he opened his mouth to speak "y/n.. i.." you put your finger to you lips shushing him before you continued speaking. "I hope one day you realize how much I love you, but until that day comes.. ill wait, even if it may mean I'll never recover" those were the last words you told him that day, and the last words he'd ever hear from you again. as he watched your eyes close and a smile form on your face, the one that always made his day, tears swelled in his eyes and streamed down his cheeks, but he felt his own heart drop when he heard the flatline. you were gone, and all you needed was for him to love you.

reblogs are very appreciated <3

navigation

THE ANSWER: XVI

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’ pairing: ateez x fem reader genre: cult au, thriller, angst check warnings on AO3

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As it turns out, you were able to fall asleep again. 

At least, that’s your assumption when you find yourself waking up the next morning. Though you hadn’t previously seen it, there’s a window on the far wall of the infirmary letting in a stream of fresh morning sun. 

On instinct, you reach your arms out to stretch. Horrible idea. As soon as your left arm extends one millimeter outward, a shooting pain stings through your chest. You feel a tug on what you imagine is your bandaged wound, nearly making you whisper a prayer that it hadn’t pulled open. Though you immediately dropped your arm, the pain continues to throb it’s way throughout your chest, readily making itself known. 

What a great way to start the morning. 

You’re not as disorientated as you remember being when you woke up last night, but it still takes a few moments for everything to come back to you. It’s easy to recall the basics of your situation. Farm. Cult. Hongjoong. The usual. Some of the… finer details you had learned only last night take just a few seconds of pondering, but they quickly are recalled as well. 

Though you can’t actually remember kissing Hongjoong… you can remember being told that it happened. Your face squeezes in embarrassment at the thought. What the fuck. Why had you done th- no, better question: why had Hongjoong done that. He was the one that was sober, not you. It isn’t that hard to piece together, you suppose. Hongjoong is a power-hungry psychopath, he thrives off of manipulating people; you are no exception. Ugh, yuck.

That all being said, you’re just a smidgen upset that you can’t actually recall the memory. Not that you want to know what it was like, of course, it would just make things a lot simpler if you remembered the entirety of the night (including the unfortunate parts). It would make things a lot easier to analyze. But, maybe it’s a blessing that you can’t remember it, like, come on, do you really want to remember what kissing Hongjoong was like…? 

No. Gross. 

You shake your head to try and rid yourself of the thought. There were much more pressing discoveries made last night than the fact that Hongjoong kissed you. First of all, Hongjoong apparently stabs (and kills) people on a regular basis! Which makes him kissing you so much wo- stop. Do not think about it.

Anyhow, what the fuck? While you had pondered a few questions why you were falling asleep, that seems like it was so long ago already. How has no one put together the disappearances with the farm? If people are initiated or whatever on a somewhat regular basis… and sometimes they die… shouldn’t the police be somewhat on top of this? Honestly, the disappearances alone should be enough to make them suspicious, but the murders? Truly the icing on the cake.

Anxiety pools in your stomach. This is serious. Deadly fucking serious. This is real life. You are trapped on a farm in the middle of goddamn nowhere with a manipulative psychopath and his devoted followers. And your college best friend. Can’t forget about the reason that you came here in the first place.

You sigh. Do you regret coming for Mingi? As much as you hate the situation, and as much pain as you are in after surviving a genuine murder attempt… no. Especially not now that you know what he’s been through. And the fact that he only came here to get away from you, apparently. So, in a round-about way, its your own fault that you ended up in this situation.

God, your chest hurts. And not in a metaphorical way, either. It aches with the strain you put on it while stretching. Are you still getting pain killers? It sure doesn’t feel like it…

You turn your head to check the status of the bags attached to your IV. The bag labeled “SALINE” still looks quite full… but the other is suspiciously empty.

You wonder whether or not the person outside of the room is still Nayeon. Probably not. If she has the night shift, someone else probably takes care of the day shift. Hmmm…

For a moment, you contemplate calling for someone, but the need evaporates as the door slides open and Mingi pokes his head in. 

There’s a pang in your chest the moment that you realize its him, but you can’t tell whether it’s genuine pain or something else. Before you can think on it too long, Mingi slides the door open the rest of the way and is quick to come to your side.

“How long have you been awake?” He asks, “I’m sorry, I should’ve been here when you woke up.”

You shake your head, clearing your throat before trying to speak. “No, no, it’s completely fine. I’ve only been awake for…” you search your mind for a sense of the time. It doesn’t come very easily… interesting. “Maybe five minutes?”

A sad smile crosses Mingi’s face. “Still.”

Not quite sure how to respond to that, you allow a silence to fall between the two of you. You move to sit up a bit higher to adjust your position, failing to remember your injured left half. As soon as you put weight on your right arm, the pain in your chest intensifies, and a gasp escapes from you as you shift your weight on reflex.

“Hey!” Mingi’s arms immediately shoot out to stabilize your body, his right hand catching your left arm and relieving the pressure off of your side. His left hand catches you at the waist, stopping you from moving any further. “You have to be more careful!”

Under any other circumstances, you would ask if he thinks that he’s your mom. Under these, however, you sigh. “Thank you for catching me.” You look at his hand holding onto your forearm and are nearly shocked at the strength supporting it. He’s holding essentially a fourth of your bodyweight in one hand, something he most certainly would not have been able to do when you two were still in school. “Can you help me sit up more?”

Mingi squints at you. “If you promise to not try and move after I do.” He doesn’t wait for your reply before using his hand at your waist to scootch you further back into a sitting position. 

“Thanks,” you say, waiting for him to move now that you’ve been stabilized. But… he doesn’t.

“Do you feel okay?” He asks, looking intently over your face.

Seriously, what is with people asking you that question? Clearly, you are not okay. Have you been okay for even one second since you stepped foot on this farm? No!

But you know that Mingi genuinely means it. “Well, my chest hurts.” You glance up at the empty bag of acetaminophen.

Mingi’s eyes follow your gaze, and that’s when he releases his grasp on you. He springs backward, pointing at the empty bag. “I will be back in two seconds, promise.”

Mingi disappears out the door at speeds faster than you can ever recall seeing him move in the past. Huh. True to his word, he returns in mere moments, dragging a person that you’re unfamiliar with with him.

“Come on, Seungmin, really,” Mingi gestures to your IV, “Why doesn’t she have any pain management? Do you not remember how much pain you were in when you were Chosen?” He drops his grip on, apparently, Seungmin as they approach your side.

Seungmin gives Mingi some minor side-eye. “Yes, I remember, Mingi.” He moves to go to the same cabinet that Nayeon had searched through last night. “I also took care of you after you were Chosen, if you might remember.”

Mingi rolls his eyes from your side. “Exactly, which included giving me painkillers when I needed them. Can you not do the same for (Y/n)?” 

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Seungmin turns from the cabinet to glare back at Mingi. You can’t tell if they’re actually arguing or if this is some elaborate mean friendship that they have, and frankly you don’t really care. You just know that, the more its talked about, the more your chest aches. 

Seungmin comes back to your side, gripping another bag of (presumably) acetaminophen. “I’m sorry the drip is empty, (Y/n), Nayeon and I switched shifts only a few minutes ago, and she was sleeping when I got here.” He explains, unhooking your line from the previous bag and attaching the new one. “All better.” He glares at Mingi, “Need anything else?” He asks Mingi more than he asks you.

Mingi looks curiously over to you, and you shake your head. “Then I’ll be right outside if you need me.” Seungmin leaves the room, not closing the door behind him.

“That kid drives me crazy,” Mingi crosses his arms, “Is he even old enough to have learned how to take care of sick people? I really don’t think so.”

He did look quite young, in Mingi’s defence. “Do you actually not like him?”

“I didn’t feel one way or another until he left you without treatment, even if only for a few minutes.”

… “It’s fine, Mingi.”

He looks over at you, arms still crossed. “No, it’s not. You’re in pain. And today is important.”

Important? “Why is that?”

“Hongjoong and the others are going to come by and decide where you should work! That is a very important decision! And I’d rather that you were not in pain while it happened.”

And that is very important… why?

But you don’t ask that. Instead, “The others…?”

“Do you remember those people we met the first day you were here? When we went on a tour?” Your expression answers his question. “Uh, Jongho, Yeosang, Wooyoung, and San?”

Ah, there you go. How could you forget? “And Hongjoong and Seonghwa will be there, too. And me. And I guess anyone else that wants to come.”

“They’re coming here?” You ask, wondering if all of these people will be able to comfortably fit in the room without crowding each other.

Mingi nods, lifting his wrist to check his watch. “In only a couple minutes, actually.”

What? How did they even know that you would be awake? Wonderful. This is something that you probably would have liked to prepare for more, but you guess that going into it completely blind could have its benefits as well. Somehow. Maybe.

For the first time, you’re suddenly aware of what you’re wearing. And it’s definitely not that freaky ass outfit Seonghwa made you put on. Instead, it’s the pajamas that you packed with you. The very same pajamas that Seonghwa had teased you about. Lovely. Who dressed you? Who went into your room? 

You don’t know what you want the answer to those questions to be. On one hand, do you trust anyone here to see you in your underwear? On the other hand, do you want to think that it was Mingi that saw you in your underwear? Not quite. Maybe it was Nayeon. She was nice enough. 

Anyways, that is information to be concerned about another time. For now, you need to focus on what is about to happen. You do suppose that the job you’re assigned will have quite an effect on the things that you are allowed to do… so it is an important decision. Will you get any say in it, you wonder?

The silence in your room is soon broken by the sound of a group moving toward it. That was quick.

Seungmin hadn’t shut the door behind him, so the group is able to simply stride right in. 

Hongjoong and Seonghwa take up the lead, talking amongst themselves. Seonghwa sure seems to be in better spirits this morning (not that you care), and Hongjoong seems to be over any outburst that Seonghwa had had.

Following behind them is the group that Mingi had prepared you for. Wooyoung, who you have interacted with quite a lot by this point; San, who you’re still slightly bitter with; and Yeosang and Jongho, both of whom you really have no opinion of.

And there is one surprise guest, Yunho. “What are you doing here?” Mingi asks Yunho when he sees him, a confused look on his face.

Yunho frowns. “I wanted to see that (Y/n) was really awake so that I could stop worrying about you.” He peeks over at you. “Congratulations on being Chosen, by the way!”

You’re left to ponder that sentence while you wait for everyone to find a spot to stand in the room. He wanted to make sure… that you were awake… so that he could stop worrying about… Mingi…? Does that make sense?

Hongjoong claps his hands together, bringing your attention (as well as everyone else’s) to him in a second. “Good morning, (Y/n).” He smiles, “Has Mingi told you what we are going to talk about today?” Hongjoong looks between you and Mingi, who is still standing at your side.

“Uh,” you start, “my job.”

Hongjoong nods his head. “Exactly! It’s always fun to do job assignments, right, Seonghwa?” His gaze shifts to the man at his left. Seonghwa looks about as thrilled to see you as he ever has.

“Very fun.” He deadpans.

Hongjoong gestures to the others in the room, “Why don’t you all introduce yourselves and your positions for (Y/n)?”

“We’ve all met her already.” Jongho says, not bothering to look at you from his spot to your left. His arms are crossed and you’re once again struck by the size of his biceps.

Hongjoong gives a less than genuine smile. “I am well aware, Jongho, but let's recap for her, shall we?”

Jongho lets out a sigh. Clearly, someone besides Seonghwa is also not pleased to be here. “I’m Jongho. I’m in charge of the farms.”

San is standing to Jongho’s left, and he goes next. “Good to see you again, (Y/n).” He smiles, “I’m San and I’m in an administrative role.”

Next to San is Hongjoong, and next to Hongjoong is Seonghwa, so the introductions skip to Yeosang.

“Yeah, good to see you. I’m Yeosang and… I guess you would call me a mechanic.”

Wooyoung is last. “You know me, I’m in charge of the kitchens.”

You offer an awkward smile to each man as they move down the line. What an odd bunch of people to be running a cult, no? You wonder how many of them genuinely believe what Hongjoong is telling them, but you quickly stop thinking about it. Probably each and every one of them. Otherwise, wouldn’t they just leave? It seems to you like they would each have the means to escape if they wanted to… and yet they don’t. So they must be devoted.

Or also Hongjoong’s level of insane, which is much less comforting.

“Thank you,” Hongjoong says, glancing at Jongho, “Was that so hard?”

Jongho opens his mouth to reply, but must think better of it. A tiny smirk graces Hongjoong’s face for a moment before it quickly evaporates, leaving only his usual smile. “Well, who needs a worker?”

“I don’t.” Jongho says almost as soon as Hongjoong asks the question. 

Sheesh. What did you ever do to him?

“Yeah, uh, I don’t really either.” Yeosang gives you a sheepish smile. 

San looks at Wooyoung. “Well, I could take her.” He pauses, looking at Hongjoong. “If you think that’s a good idea.”

Hongjoong shakes his head. “No, probably not for now. Maybe in a couple of months.” Hongjoong winks at you. “Wooyoung,” he turns, “do you need anyone? Or, better question, do you have room for another?”

Wooyoung smiles at Hongjoong, “I don’t see why not!”

Hongjoong looks to you for your approval, “Is that alright with you?”

If you’re being honest, being in the kitchens is probably the place that you would enjoy the most. You are a barista, afterall.

Hold on.

You’re a barista. 

Your job. Your boss. 

You must’ve been reported missing by now. They have to be looking for you. If you really had been out for five days… There's no way your disappearance has escaped anyone’s perception. The police have to be looking for you. Haseul and Jungeun know where you went, at least somewhat. 

But that does raise the question… where are the police? There can’t be that many commune style farms in this general area, right? Surely if Haseul or Jungeun told the police that you went looking for Mingi, whom they (or at least Juneun) knew was living on a commune, there wouldn’t be that many possibilities for where you could be. 

Well fuck. If they’re not here by now, can you really keep believing that they will come? The logical part of you would say no; but now is definitely not the time for logic. This entire situation is against any sort of logic. It isn’t logical to be trapped on a farm with a cult; and yet here you are. Crazier things can happen than it taking a few days for cops to spring into action.

Of course, you have already run circles around this idea. It’s quite possible that they will never come, because it’s quite possible that someone is misleading your friends and family into thinking that you’re okay. You can nearly feel your eye twitch at the memory of giving San your phone so easily.

Mingi pokes your arm, startling out of your thoughts. “(Y/n)?”

“Oh,” you shake your head a bit to clear your previous train of thought. “I guess.”

“Great,” Jongho says, looking at Hongjoong, “Can I leave?” Hongjoong waves his hand, ushering Jongho to go. He quickly takes heed of Hongjoong’s action and leaves about as fast as possible. Seriously, what’s his problem?

As if Jongho had never been there at all, Hongjoong doesn’t skip a beat. “Typically the Chosen only stay in the clinic for a few days after they wake up,” he glances at Mingi, “but something tells me you’ll take a little longer to get on your feet.”

Mingi looks between you and Hongjoong. “Why are you looking at me?”

Seonghwa rolls his eyes at Mingi’s question, and seemingly really sees you for the first time since he entered the room. His eyes land on your torso, smirking as he realizes what you’re wearing. “Nice to see you in those cute pajamas again, princess.”

You frown at him, neglecting to give him the response that you know he’s looking for. Instead, you look over to see Mingi’s reaction to your nickname. His mouth is slightly agape, like he’s trying to think of something to say, but can’t quite grasp a response. 

Not wanting Mingi to say something that he might regret, you jump in. “I’m surprised you remember them.”

Seonghwa raises his eyebrows. “How could I forget that wonderful night we had?”

That gives you pause. Why did he have to say it like that? Your face scrunches in disgust as a smile spreads across Seonghwa’s face. You hazard a glance toward Mingi again and are not surprised to see that he looks even more flustered, his eyes wide as he stares at Seonghwa. Yunho wears a very similar expression, except he’s looking at you rather than Seonghwa. 

Yeosang clears his throat from the other side of the room, but it sounds more like a choked laugh. “Sorry, sorry,” he starts, bringing a hand up to pat his chest a bit, “frog in my throat. Excuse me.” Yeosang continues hitting his chest and poorly attempting to cover his laughter with coughs as he leaves the room. 

Wooyoung doesn’t seem to be as privy to the joke. “Uh, yeah. I should probably get to preparing lunch.” He looks expectantly around the room, as if waiting for someone to tell him to not leave. “Well, I’m looking forward to working with you, (Y/n)!”

Wooyoung grabs Yunho’s arm as he walks past him, pulling the larger man out with him. Yunho waves to you as he disappears around the corner with Wooyoung.

San, who has been very quiet during this entire encounter, suddenly seems to be very aware of the situation. “I’ll get going then, too.” He smiles at you once more. “Like I said, good to see you again, (Y/n).” 

San leaves, leaving only Mingi, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and yourself. Seonghwa is still smirking at you, Mingi still looks incredibly flustered, and Hongjoong is… well, Hongjoong. Smiling his same, creepy little smile. He clears his throat a tiny bit, looking between Seonghwa and Mingi. “Would you two mind giving (Y/n) and I a few minutes alone?”

The smirk quickly falls off of Seonghwa’s face as he pries his eyes off of you in order to look at Hongjoong. The question seems to shock Mingi out of his stupor, however, as his expression goes neutral and he looks over at you. 

You want to shake your head. You don’t want to be left alone with Hongjoong, not for one single second. The mere thought makes anxiety start to pump through your veins. But, before you can communicate any of this to Mingi, he’s letting you know that he’ll just be outside if you need him. 

Seonghwa follows Mingi out as he goes, looking rather conflicted as he does. You want to say something, anything, that will keep one of them from leaving the room. But you can’t get anything out, and Seonghwa slides the door shut behind him, leaving you and Hongjoong completely alone. You continue staring at the closed door, not wanting to acknowledge the new situation that you’ve found yourself in.

Hongjoong moves from his spot at the end of your bed, coming into your field of vision and completely blocking the door so that you’re forced to look at him. His expression hasn’t changed from his usual, cool smile. He takes a couple steps closer to you, resting his hands on the rail support of the bed. “Please, (Y/n),” he begins, bending so that his face is level with your own. “Tell me how you’re really feeling.”

You blink. About a thousand possible responses run through your head. If he wants honesty… “Pretty shitty.”

Hongjoong’s eyebrows squeeze in confusion. “And why is that?”

Once again, you blink at him. What does he want you to say? “Where should I start?” You resist the urge to spit on him, despite him being close enough for you to reach. “For starters, I’m being held hostage by a cult led by some psychopath,” Hongjoong bites his lip to restrain a smile, “that tried to kill me.”

Hongjoong clicks his tongue, shaking his head. “I wasn’t trying to kill you; if I had, you would be dead.” He establishes eye contact with you. “Why would I want to kill you?”

Again, another question that seems very obvious to you. It’s clear that he’s just playing with you, wanting you to say the things that he so desperately needs to hear, apparently. What a stupid game, one that you do not want to play. “Listen, Hongjoong, I don’t know how insane you really are; as in, I don’t know how much of this bullshit you’ve actually convinced yourself is true, but you must know that stabbing someone typically means that you want them dead.”

Hongjoong rolls his eyes. “Come on, (Y/n), aren’t you smarter than that?” He tilts his head to the side, giving you a curious look. “You have to realize that I can’t play favorites, even if I have them.”

What the fuck kind of thing to say is that?

“I can’t treat you any differently than anyone else, that’s not how this all works. You simply have to trust me, (Y/n), you would be dead if I had wanted you to be.” He reestablishes his smile. “You get to know where to aim.” He chuckles. “Anyhow,” he returns himself to his full height, taking his hands off of your bed. “Do you remember?”

You have a feeling you know what he’s referring to, but you’re not going to be the one to say it. “Remember what?”

If you had had the chance to be relieved by the distance he put between you two, Hongjoong quickly took it away. He swoops back in until he’s only inches away from your face, and you’re left having to lean as far back into the wall as possible (which is not very far). He brings his hand up, placing it under your chin and forcing you to look up at him. “Need a refresher?”

You jerk your chin out of his grasp, but he quickly reestablishes his hold. “No, I do not.”

“So you do remember?”

Well, not quite. “I was informed that you kissed me, but I don’t remember it happening.”

Hongjoong’s smile grows. “You were informed wrong, dear.” He pokes your arm with his free hand. “You kissed me.” 

You squint at him, attempting to make the most disgusted face that you can. “I did not. You drugged me.”

He contemplates this statement for a second. “Technically it was Wooyoung that drugged you.” You roll your eyes at that one. “And I can confidently say that you initiated that exchange.”

The urge to start a ‘did not’ ‘did too’ argument is strong, but you ignore it. “Either way, Hongjoong, I was drugged. Meaning I was not in my right mind.”

“What do they say about drunk actions? That they’re sober thoughts?” He casts a quick glimpse to your lips, smiling all the while before returning his eyes to yours. “You’re not leaving anytime soon, (Y/n), might as well enjoy yourself.”

As if he had never been close to you at all, he releases you and quickly takes a few strides back. “There’s nothing wrong with finding me attractive. Everyone does. When you’re able to admit it to yourself, let me know.” 

Hongjoong leaves you with one final wink before sliding the door open and making a quick exit.

What the fuck was that? You know that he was just playing with you, but seriously, what? You? Kissing him? Preposterous. You finding him attractive? Even funnier. 

… Anyways.

Before you can think on that whole exchange for too long, another person is poking their head into your room. Expecting it to be Mingi, you let yourself relax, squeezing your eyes shut with a groan. 

“Don’t be like that, princess.”

Your eyes snap open and you’re immediately at attention once more. Seonghwa shuts the door behind him as he makes his way into the room once again. He stops shy of where Hongjoong had stood, and you’re grateful for the distance he keeps. That man has manhandled you enough for your entire lifetime. “What do you want?”

A small smile graces Seonghwa’s features, but it’s anything but nice. “What do I want?” He crosses his arms behind his back, pretending to ponder your question. “I want you,” he leaves a bit of a dramatically long pause as if he could trick you into thinking that’s what he was going to say, “to stay away from Hongjoong.”

You don’t hesitate to respond. “Gladly. Give me my car keys.”

Seonghwa sucks in a breath. “You are funny, princess, but you know that’s not what I meant.” He pauses again, making you wonder what you’re supposed to say before he starts speaking again. “See, when this situation has happened in the past, and, trust me, it has, I’ve normally just disposed of the issue my own way.” Seonghwa smiles to himself. “And Hongjoong always moves on fairly quickly. But I have the strange feeling that this would be different. So I’m simply warning you now.”

As little as you want to do with Hongjoong, this possessiveness is kind of pretentiously annoying. Who is Seonghwa to tell you what to do? ‘Stay away from him?’ Is this a K-drama? “And what if I don’t?” You ask, simply to see his reaction.

“If you don’t,” Seonghwa takes a step closer to your bed, “I will take care of it. Hongjoong would forgive me eventually. Everyone makes mistakes.”

Oh, he’s serious. 

“So, princess,” he smiles at you with as much malice as you think he can muster, “do you understand?”

Not wanting to speak out of the mild fear that your voice might crack, you nod in response to his question.

“What a good girl.” Seonghwa turns to begin making his way to the door before pausing, “It’s in your best interests to not share this conversation with anyone else, but to remember it clearly.” With that, he leaves.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

The next couple of days go by without a fuss. 

Your chest is starting to feel better, and Seungmin and Nayeon agree that you’re alright to leave the infirmary whenever you’re ready. They’ve had you up and walking around, as well as weaning you off of your Tylenol. 

As much as you don’t want to even pretend to cooperate with the situation, you are starting to get quite bored with staying in bed all day. The thought of escape is, of course, also quite compelling. You probably would have very little chance of escaping from this clinic room, so you will have to leave eventually. 

Really the only thing that’s been keeping you from saying you’re ready to go for the past couple days is, well, Mingi. He watches you like you’re made of glass and hardly ever lets you leave his sight. He barely leaves you for his meals (and to collect yours), and often makes himself comfortable on the floor of the infirmary. His working obligations seem to have fallen by the wayside, with him mumbling something about Yunho on the occasions when you have asked if he should be working. 

Why he’s acting like you’re going to die any second is beyond you. Unless he knows something you don’t, which you suppose wouldn’t be that implausible, his behavior is almost entirely inexplicable. Sure, you guys were best friends. Sure, there might have (emphasis on the might) been something there. But that was all months ago, and this is the same man that supposedly joined a cult for the express purpose of leaving you behind. 

Honestly, his behavior since your arrival has been, well, erratic and nearly inexplicable. When you arrived, he hugged you and it seemed that he was happy you were there. You two had time together at the bonfire, time that really felt good. Mingi seemed to be himself. But the entire second day had been… off. When you had thought that you would be leaving, he had a complete and total meltdown. 

It brings a lump in your throat just thinking about the way that he was clinging onto your waist, begging you to stay.

Was that really the behavior of your Mingi? With the trauma that he’s been through, you suppose that the extreme reliance on some semblance of his past life makes sense; but you’ve yet to have a mental break like it seems he has. What happened that made Mingi change? 

God, this makes your head hurt. There’s too many questions that will probably never be answered. You can’t very well ask Mingi to tell you about something that he’s probably repressed. You couldn’t bring yourself to make him relive anything that could hurt him, but the curiosity is painful. Even asking Mingi basic questions could bring the risk of upsetting him majorly, which is not something that you will risk putting him through. 

This all is way too fucking complicated. When did everything go so wrong? Was it when Mingi left? When you graduated and couldn’t get a job? When that man had told you his name was Mingi? When you decided to search for Mingi? When you found him? When you decided to go? What’s the furthest back decision that could be to blame for all of this mess? Why had he even left in the first place? None of it makes sense.

Thankfully, a knock at the door of the infirmary stops you from thinking about it any further. Before you respond, the guest invites themselves in and you’re not surprised to see Mingi’s smiling face poke through the door. “Good morning!” He balances a tray in his hand as he shuts the door. “I brought breakfast!”

You smile, happy that he’s in good spirits as it is right now. That’s all you can really hope for; that Mingi stays happy and safe. If one can really be safe in this situation remains to be seen, but you figure that Mingi will be alright barring any terrible turn of events. 

Mingi quickly is at your side, placing the tray into your lap and lingering at your bedside. You thank him for bringing you breakfast, which he is quick to brush off as nothing.

“What are your plans for the day?” You ask him as you start eating, though you essentially know what his answer will be.

Mingi shrugs. “Nothing, really. Is there something that you want to do?”

“Well,” you start, not entirely sure if you want to go ahead with your idea. You pause for a few seconds before deciding that you will simply lose your mind if you stay in this infirmary for even one more day. “I think I’m ready to start working.”

The smile quickly falls from Mingi’s face. You watch as he considers the idea in his mind, his face ever so slightly changing with every new thought you can imagine him having. Finally, his face lands on a very neutral expression. “Are you sure that you’re ready? You feel good enough?” He is clearly genuine in his questions.

You nod, “I’m getting a little stir-crazy, honestly.” Though you mean it seriously, you smile for Mingi’s sake.

Mingi returns your smile. “If you’re sure that you feel up to it, I’ll tell Wooyoung.”

“I definitely am, and Nayeon and Seungmin agree that I am good to go whenever.”

Mingi chuckles a bit, “Yeah, I know. They told me a couple days ago…” He watches your eyebrows twist in confusion, “But I didn’t want to rush you! And you being sick here is a great excuse for me to dump my work on Yunho.” He shrugs, bringing his hands up in a dramatic gesture.

You laugh and Mingi joins you. It’s one of the best laughs that you’ve had in a while, not that that’s really saying much, but it brings you some comfort. Mingi is still Mingi, even if he is a little different. He can still make you laugh and can still make you feel better.

You finish up your breakfast as Mingi tells you about the work that’s being done on the farm, not that he knows all the exact details. Essentially some of the earliest planted crops are beginning to be harvested, but the entire farm still has a bit to go before it’s ready. The livestock are beginning to grow their winter coats as the days get colder and shorter. 

Honestly, you would have never pegged your Mingi as a farmer, but he seems to have a real passion for it now. As terrible as everything around the two of you is, you’re happy that he is able to find simple pleasures out of something so daily and routine as corn and pigs. It’s actually kind of heartwarming for you to watch the twinkle in his eyes as he talks about the farm at large. He seems to be so proud of everything that he has done in participation. 

It makes you wonder if you will have the same sense of accomplishment, but you quickly decide that you won’t. That feeling of accomplishment is the same as the feeling of complacency, and you will never be complacent here. Not if you can help it. 

Once you’re finished, Mingi gathers your tray and leaves, promising to let Wooyoung know of your decision.

While you’re slightly nervous about leaving the (minor) comforts of the infirmary and taking on responsibilities with unknown consequences, you feel good about your decision. Getting out of this room is perhaps the first step to getting the hell off of this farm. 

Which begs the question, how do you plan on escaping? 

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