THE ANSWER: Stupid Whore

THE ANSWER: Stupid Whore

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’ pairing: ateez x fem reader genre: cult au, thriller, angst check warnings on AO3

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 “I’m only going to say this once, Hongjoong. If I find her out there, in my fields, I’m getting rid of her. End of story.” Jongho spits, his arms crossed over his chest.

Hongjoong chuckles at the outburst, “You won’t find her out there. Even if you did, you wouldn’t dare.” The smile falls off of his face. “I let you get away with a lot, Jongho. I give you free reign to do essentially whatever you want. But you will not touch her. That is final.”

Jongho rolls his eyes, huffing at the command. “Whatever. I bet she’ll run within the next day. Watch her, Hongjoong, because I don’t care what you say. I will get rid of her if I find her. That girl is more trouble than she’s worth.”

“What is your vendetta against (Y/n) for, anyways?” Wooyoung asks, genuinely curious. “She’s not that bad.”

Seonghwa scoffs. “As if he needs a reason. I’m with Jongho, she’s going to run soon.”

Wooyoung shakes his head, looking across the room at Seonghwa. “No way, I give her another week. She’s too smart to try anything before thinking it through.”

Yunho nods, agreeing with Wooyoung. (Y/n) has been nothing if not careful. 

Hongjoong stands up, gathering the attention of everyone. “I don’t care when she runs, I care what happens after. If any of you,” he looks between Jongho and Seonghwa, “harm her, I will not be so lenient as I have been in the past.”

Silence falls over the group, taking in Hongjoong’s word. Who knows what his little obsession with (Y/n) means, but no one senses any warm and fuzzy feelings behind it. 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

From the entryway of the cafeteria, Yunho watches as (Y/n) less than cautiously pushes the door to the kitchen open. She stops dead in her tracks as soon as she sees him, and Yunho has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. He watches as the cogs turn in her head, watching her realize the severity of the situation. 

Surprisingly enough, she starts off toward his direction.

“(Y/n)?” Yunho tilts his head in feign ignorance. “What are you doing up?”

Even more surprising, she smiles as she bustles toward the doorway. “Just forgot something down here earlier, that’s all. I’ve really gotta go to bed now, though. See you tomorrow!” She exclaims, not stopping as she brushes past him to get out of the door.

Well, damn. Jongho wins the bet.

Yunho remains in the doorway of the cafeteria, turning to watch (Y/n) practically sprint down the hall, clearly not realizing (or maybe not caring) that he can see the towel sticking out of her pants. It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together.

Yunho sighs, looking to the ceiling as he swipes his hand across the light switches to turn off the singular light that had been turned on. Unfortunate . If it hadn’t been on, he wouldn’t have even looked in the cafeteria. 

He stands in the doorway for a moment longer, weighing the options in front of him. On one hand, he could let her go…

No. It might be kind of funny to watch the events unfold, but Hongjoong would be pissed if he found out that Yunho knew and said nothing. And probably not just ‘pissed-but-will-get-over-it’ pissed, but more like ‘marked-for-Ascension’ pissed. Plus, Jongho sounded pretty serious, despite Hongjoong’s warnings… And Yunho doesn’t want her dead, really. 

Yeah, it would probably be best to not let her be found out there by Jongho. He could definitely make it look like an accident, but Hongjoong would still be fuming. He can only let that creepy bastard away with so much, and such a clear violation of orders… Yunho doesn’t want to see Jongho dead, either.

Sighing once more, Yunho sets off down the hall and to the stairs. When he rounds the corner to the front door, (Y/n) is nowhere in sight. Had she gone outside? Or gone back to her room, abandoned her plans? Tsk tsk. How sloppy. Yunho had really thought that she would be much too careful to try anything within her first week of relative freedom, but apparently not. What is she so desperate for?

Yunho begins the trek up the stairs, not concerned with the volume of his steps. He rounds the corner multiple times until reaching the final level of the building. Of course Hongjoong has his apartment on the top floor. Where else would he be, down with the plebeians? Nooooo. 

He walks to the end of the hall, stopping at the very last door. He knocks without hesitation. “It’s me,” he calls through the door.

Standing in front of the door, he hears some vague shuffling from inside the room before being greeted by a disheveled Seonghwa swinging the door open. “Do you need something?” He asks, brows furrowed. 

Yunho rolls his eyes. “To talk to Hongjoong.”

Seonghwa looks at Yunho in exasperation. “About…?” 

Yunho offers a sarcastic smile as he pushes past Seonghwa to get into Hongjoong’s apartment. Seonghwa doesn’t do much to stop him, merely muttering something about ‘tall people’ from behind him. 

The apartment is just as Yunho remembers. Clean, but not empty. Cluttered, but not overwhelmingly so. “(Y/n) is running.” He says as he turns the corner to the single bedroom where he assumes Hongjoong will be. 

He’s correct, and Hongjoong is already sitting up in bed, a frown falling onto his face at Yunho’s statement. His long hair is sticking flat to his face, which is slightly flushed with sleep. He rubs his eyes, asking, “Are you sure?” 

Yunho takes in the sight of Hongjoong as Seonghwa rounds the corner as well, pushing past Yunho to flop down onto the bed. This certainly isn’t the first time that Yunho has seen Hongjoong disheveled, but it doesn’t get any less… disturbing with time. Hongjoong, their sadistic leader with little regard for anything but himself… is just a person. A person that sleeps and wakes up with messy hair. Maybe that’s a treacherous thought to have, but its true. As if to prove Yunho’s point, Hongjoong stretches his arms out to his sides, resting a gentle hand on the top of Seonghwa’s head as his hands come back down. 

A small smile passes across Seonghwa’s lips. “Hah. What did Jongho and I say? She’s not very bright.” 

Hongjoong opens his eyes wider at Seonghwa’s comment, suddenly looking more awake. Yunho watches the fingers on Seonghwa’s head tense as if to squeeze, but it doesn’t come.

Realizing Hongjoong is still waiting for an answer to his question, Yunho nods. “I just caught her in the cafeteria, leaving the kitchen with a towel tucked in the back of her pants.” 

Hongjoong sighs, his free hand coming up to rub his forehead. “Damn it.”

“We don’t have to go after her, you know.” Seonghwa mutters. “We could just let Jongho find her.”

Hongjoong’s gentle hand leaves Seonghwa’s hair, and a resounding smack echoes through the room. Yunho stifles a gasp as he watches Hongjoong’s palm strike Seonghwa, the violent action a stark contrast to the scene of moments earlier. Hongjoong looks fully awake now, his face no longer flushed and his aura returning to that of a leader. “How many times do I have to fucking tell you, Seonghwa?” He spits as Seonghwa scrambles to sit up on the bed, his palm glued to the side of his face as he looks at Hongjoong in abject horror. “You’ll fucking respect her. You know how important she is. I won’t tolerate you continually acting as if she’s going somewhere.”

Seonghwa blinks his wide eyes at Hongjoong, scoffing as he drops his hand. “I find it hard to believe you’re choosing her over me.” His cheek is a searing pink, and Yunho wonders if this is a regular occurrence for them. Certainly, the argument seems like it is. 

Seonghwa’s jealous comment only serves to make Hongjoong angrier. “Really, Seonghwa? Really? I’m not choosing anyone over anyone. I don’t have to. I am God. You’re lucky to even be sitting on my bed, you stupid whore.” The insult rolls off of his tongue as if he’s been waiting to say it, wanting to inflict the pain and the weight of the words.

Seonghwa bites his lip, casting his gaze to the floor. Yunho tries to act like he doesn’t notice the tears welling in the older man’s eyes, despite watching Seonghwa’s shaky hands swipe his cheeks more than once. Could there be something more averse, something more against nature than watching Park Seonghwa shed tears?

Yunho clears his throat, sincerely believing that the two of them forgot he was standing in the room. “So… What should we do about (Y/n), then?”

Hongjoong’s eyes pry away from the back of Seonghwa’s head to lock with Yunho’s. “We go get her, obviously. Did you see her leave?” In his periphery, Yunho can see Seonghwa turn to face him, waiting for his response as well.

Yunho scratches the back of his neck, breaking eye contact with Hongjoong. That dude is much scarier when he’s angry. “Not exactly.”

“Well go fucking check.” Hongjoong snaps, quickly making a shooing motion towards the door of the room. “I’m not going to go run around outside only for her to be safe and sound in her bed. You should’ve checked before even bothering us.”

Yunho decides that replying with words would probably be a bad idea, instead opting for a curt nod and a quick turn. He easily maneuvers himself out of the apartment, shutting the door as gently as possible behind himself. A shudder passes through him as he begins walking toward the stairs. Literally what the fuck was that whole scene?

Yunho knew that Hongjoong was prone to violence, of course, he had been victim to it first hand. But he had never thought that that behavior would extend to Seonghwa. Hadn’t they been together for years ? Why would Seonghwa put up with that? Was that a regular thing or has Hongjoong merely just become violent with him when it comes to (Y/n)? With Seonghwa’s reaction, it certainly didn’t seem usual. Had Yunho ever seen Seonghwa shed tears before? Had he ever seen him express an emotion that wasn’t anger or sadistic joy? 

Whatever, it’s not any of his business, anyways. Who cares if Hongjoong is just as abusive to Seonghwa as he can be to everyone else? Seonghwa isn’t exactly a choir boy, either.

Once he’s downstairs, Yunho makes his way to (Y/n)’s room. The same room that he had brought her bags to not so long ago; where he had met her for the first time. 

He is typically of the sincere belief that anyone stupid enough to come to a remote farm in the middle of nowhere under the guise of it being a ‘commune’ deserves to be held hostage by a murderous cult, but (Y/n) seems to be an honest enigma in that department. She definitely isn’t stupid, but, honestly, who the hell can fall for that bit?

It took her quite a bit to catch on, too. Some people show up and immediately try to high-tail it out when they catch sight of all the red flags. Of course, they’re dealt with, and it would probably be in their favor to simply stay… but Yunho admires a sense of self-preservation. Which is why (Y/n) is so confusing.

She clearly isn’t going to fall for Hongjoong. She’s made that abundantly clear. But why would she try to run so soon? How could she possibly think that this is the best time? Taking literally one of the first opportunities she can get? She’s supposed to be smarter than that.

By the time Yunho reaches her room, he’s worked himself into an annoyance. How could such a bright person be so plainly stupid ?

He opts to knock on her door, hoping that she’ll be inside; hoping that seeing him had scared her off of her plans. When there isn’t any noise behind the door after a few seconds, he knocks again, harder. 

When, again, there is nothing behind the door, he calls out, “(Y/n)? Are you okay?” Trying his best to sound nonthreatening. If she is in there, she probably won’t open the door for anyone, let alone Yunho… but it’s worth a shot. “Listen, I haven’t told anyone that I saw you… Can you please open the door?” 

He pauses, holding his face close to the door, straining to hear inside. When, still, there is no sense of life at all, he decides to try for the handle.

The door swings open easily, and Yunho feels his annoyance grow as he takes in the empty room in front of him. God damn it. 

For good measure, he takes a couple steps inside in order to look underneath the bed. Surprise, surprise, she isn't there.

Grumbling, Yunho throws his head up to the ceiling again, wondering why it’s him that has to tell Hongjoong that his newest obsession is gone. Seriously, of all the people in this building, it had to be him? Of course, there are only so many people allowed out after curfew, so that significantly slimmed the pool of possible people, but still . What a pain in the ass. 

Yunho hastily makes his way back up the stairs and back to Hongjoong’s apartment. He brings his hand up to knock on the door before deciding that it’s probably not necessary… probably. Hopefully they’re not fighting. Or worse.

Yunho opens the door and invites himself inside, attempting to make an obnoxious amount of noise as he walks in, just in case. 

Thankfully, Seonghwa is sitting on the couch in the living room while Hongjoong paces behind him. Seonghwa stares at the ground in front of him, wearing an unreadable expression. Hongjoong still looks plainly mad. When he sees Yunho, he stops his pacing, “So?”

Yunho shakes his head, “She’s not there.”

Seonghwa frowns, still looking at the ground while sliding a hand through his hair. “You’re sure?”

“Positive, unless she’s hiding somewhere else.”

Hongjoong reaches for the hem of his shirt, fluidly removing the fabric from himself. “Go get dressed, Seonghwa.” 

Seonghwa stands without reply, making his way out of the main door and (Yunho suspects) to his own apartment. 

“Yunho,” Hongjoong says, turning to face his bedroom. “Get some sleep.” He slams the door to his room behind him, leaving Yunho alone. He quickly turns to leave, not needing to be told twice. But is (Y/n) really worth all of this fuss?

Yunho ponders the question as he returns to his room, wondering when Hongjoong will reveal whatever sick little plan he has in store for her. There has to be something. Has to be.

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THE ANSWER: VIII

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’ pairing: ateez x fem reader genre: cult au, thriller, angst check warnings on AO3

← previous || next → || masterlist chapter word count: 4,286

After Mingi had told you that it was dinner time, you realized how hungry you’ve gotten. Afterall, really all you had had all day was that coffee from this morning. How you had totally forgotten about lunch, you have no idea.

On the walk back down the stairs, your little group becomes significantly larger. People are pouring out of their rooms and heading in the same direction, toward the cafeteria. To your surprise, a small child sneaks his way around your legs, running ahead of you. Huh, there really are kids here.

With Mingi still next to you, you ask him if the meals are on schedules. “Yeah, but it depends on the day,” he starts, “Everyday, we have scheduled breakfast at seven, though there are mandatory activities before breakfast. Lunch is kind of a fend for yourself thing, there are always snacks out in the cafeteria, but on Sunday we always have a scheduled lunch at noon. Dinner bell always rings at five, and we should be eating by five-thirty.”

“Ah, okay.” You respond, nodding your head as you listen along. You guess it makes sense, with so many people to feed it would be much more efficient to eat all at once at the same time. 

Following the crowd, you make it back to the cafeteria in just a few minutes. Some of the tables are already filling up, and you try to get an idea of how many people are around. It looks to be about forty adults, and maybe… five kids? The operation honestly seems a bit bigger than you had originally thought. 

Mingi and San head to the back of a line that’s starting to form. San takes a second to explain that meals are typically served lunch-room style. He also tells you that there are always two hot meal options, but also cold, pre-prepared foods available. Finally, he adds that you can take as much as you want. You three wait in line together, and Mingi pulls you in front of him so that you can be between him and San. You give him a smile as thanks, appreciating the fact that he still remembers how uncomfortable you can get when you’re too close to strangers. Mingi used to do the same thing all the time in the university cafeteria, putting you in front of him so that you could have all the time and space you needed. 

You move through the line, watching others before copying their behavior. The first thing that comes up on the line is… creamed corn. Okay, makes sense, this is a corn farm afterall. The next few things are other miscellaneous side dishes, and you just grab whatever looks appetizing. The main courses today are… “What is that?” you ask San, leaning a bit closer to the trays of food.

“Looks like paninis!” He grabs the tongs sitting in front of the tray and grabs one, putting it on his plate. “Meat and cheese, probably.” He shrugs at you, moving along. 

From what you can tell, the other option seems to be a soup of some kind and, honestly, that does not seem filling enough. You grab one of the paninis and continue down with San. Mingi, however, moves on without a panini, “I love our chicken noodle soup, but I feel bad for the chickens,” he leaves off, leaning in closer to you to whisper the next part, “this is why we don’t name them.” He sticks his lower lip out for a moment, but he quickly starts smiling once more once he reaches the soup ladle. 

You three continue to the end of the line, finally picking a drink to go along with your meal. All three of you decide on a simple water. Honestly, after that day of touring, you were pretty tired out. You probably should have been drinking water all day, but it hadn’t even occurred to you. 

San leads you to an empty table, plopping himself down on one side of the bench. You take the spot across from San, and Mingi quickly slides in next to you. You’re about to grab your panini when you realize that neither San nor Mingi have touched their food yet. They’re just sitting quietly with their hands in their laps, looking around aimlessly. Confused, you take a look about the room. Similarly, everyone else that’s seated is also waiting. 

“Uh… what are we waiting for?” You whisper to Mingi, looking up at him in question. 

He takes another look around the room before responding. “Hongjoong says a few words before we eat.”

“Oh,” is all you can muster in reply. That’s kind of weird. And by kind of weird you mean pretty weird. Why can’t he ‘say a few words’ while you’re eating? You stare at your panini and realize just how hungry you’ve gotten. Man, it smells good in this cafeteria. Where is Hongjoong?

You look around the room again, and notice that no one remains in the line anymore. Presumably the entire group of people is seated in the cafeteria, waiting for their leader. Even the few children you can see are waiting, sitting patiently and quietly next to their adults. 

Movement catches the corner of your eye and, thankfully, there is Hongjoong, walking through the main door of the cafeteria. He smiles at everyone, observing the room as he makes his way toward the front. Once there, he turns to face the crowd.

“Good evening!” He says, folding his hands in front of him.

A resounding “Good evening” rings about the room, everyone responding to his greeting in unison. You quickly look to Mingi, attempting to give him the most confused face you can muster, but he’s locked on to Hongjoong. In fact, everyone in the room is. You try to survey the people in the cafeteria as sneakily as possible, but you figure the fact that you are, quite literally, the only person moving even a muscle probably gives you away. When you realize this, you quickly snap your head back to the front, to Hongjoong. 

To your shock, he’s already staring directly at you. “As many of you know, we have a guest today.” He brings a hand up to gesture to you over at your table, and the eyeline of every person in the room follows it to you. Not knowing what you should do, you awkwardly give a small wave, trying to conceal how utterly uncomfortable this moment is. Literally every single person in the room has their eyes on you, and you can feel the weight of each individual stare. Why is everyone acting so damn weird all of a sudden? “So I expect everyone to be on their best behavior.” His tone is quite serious. You look back up at Hongjoong, and he immediately establishes eye contact with you. Why does it feel like he’s speaking to you, and not everyone else?

“With that, I have a few more announcements. First off, harvest season is almost upon us, so I hope everyone is prepared for harvest rotations. Again, everyone must participate! This is an all hands on deck situation!” He starts, finally looking away from you and talking to the group once more. He sounds much more upbeat now. “Second, I want to remind you all that the great God above dearly loves each and every one of you! Every second is a blessing, and we have Him to thank.”

Um. Okay? You can’t even try to hide the confusion that crosses your face. Where the hell did that come from? With furrowed brows, you continue to stare up at Hongjoong. To your dismay, he whips his head back towards you and reestablishes eye contact. You immediately try to remove any semblance of emotion from your face, but it doesn’t seem to work. If you didn’t know any better, you would think that, for a moment, he smirks at your reaction. For a split second, you could swear he looks malicious. The moment quickly passes, however, and his expression is replaced with a big smile. “Eat up, everyone!”

With that, everyone turns to their food and starts eating. The room quickly fills with the sounds of people socializing, the din becoming gradually louder. You face forward again, looking at your food. After that disturbing display, you’ve almost lost your appetite… wait, nope, there it is. You pick up your panini and dig in, and, by God, it’s a good panini. So good, in fact, that you hardly notice the new people that have come to stand at your side. 

San hurriedly gathering all his things and standing up is what gets your attention. When you try to look and see where he’s going, you’re met with two familiar faces. Hongjoong and Seonghwa. You hardly notice San slipping onto your side of the bench next to Mingi, entranced watching Hongjoong and Seonghwa sit across from you. Hongjoong takes San’s previous spot, in front of you, and Seonghwa sits to his left, in front of Mingi.

Neither of them have food with them. You’re suddenly uncomfortably self-aware of how fast you were gobbling down that panini, and set what remains back onto your tray, trying to not look at the newcomers.

“Did these two give you a good tour?” You look up as he asks, and his face is still smeared with that giant smile. “How do you like it here?”

You think for a second on your answer. What does he want to hear? On one hand, you don’t want to offend him. On the other, you don’t want him to make up some notion that you’ll be staying even a second longer than you had originally planned. Honestly, at this rate, you might leave even a bit earlier. “They did! It seems like… a nice place to visit.”

As soon as you say it, you regret it. God, that definitely sounds like you want to leave. Trying to save your answer, you give Hongjoong your best fake smile. He simply continues smiling at you, bringing his arms up to rest on the table. You glance at Seonghwa, trying to gauge his reaction as well. He just stares at you blankly. 

Mingi saves you. “Well, she sure likes the food!” He laughs, gesturing to your near empty plate. Everyone bursts into tension filled laughter (well, everyone except Seonghwa), and you are extremely thankful for the diversion.

After the laughter dies down and your table finds itself back in its awkward silence, Hongjoong claps his hands together. “Well, again, you are welcome to stay for as long as you want.” He gives you a quick smile, moving to stand up.

You expect Seonghwa to stand with him, but he remains seated as Hongjoong waits for him. “I don’t think she wants to stay.” He’s staring directly at you, tilting his head as if he’s curious. 

Your eyes go wide and a protest starts rising to your lips. You stop yourself, however, stunned to silence under his glare. “Don’t you want to be saved?” He asks, leaning forward in his seat toward you. He blinks plainly at you, awaiting an answer.

Right as you’re about to respond (with a very confused ‘what?’), Hongjoong grabs Seonghwa by the shoulder and pulls him back, laughing a bit through his words, “Let’s not get into that right now. (Y/n), excuse us.” Even though he’s laughing, you can see his grip on Seonghwa’s shoulder getting tighter. Despite this, Seonghwa stays in place, his glare pinning you to your spot. You can’t look away from him, either. 

San and Mingi remain silent, and, though you can’t see them, you imagine that they both are as uncomfortable as you are. Hongjoong bends at his waist, pulling Seonghwa’s body back further at the same time. He brings his lips to Seonghwa’s ear, whispering something that you can’t make out. Immediately, Seonghwa’s expression breaks, and now he is the one looking shocked. He turns to Hongjoong, eyes wide. “Get up.” Hongjoong says, straightening back up and releasing his grip on Seonghwa’s shoulder. He turns and starts walking away, and Seonghwa scrambles up, quickly making to follow after him.

You watch them go, wondering what the hell just happened. You really could not make sense of anything, from what Seonghwa had said to you to what just happened between him and Hongjoong. You look back down at your plate, realizing that your appetite truly has left you this time. Pushing the tray away, you turn to Mingi.

About a million questions are running through your mind, and it’s impossible to pick just one to ask. Mingi honestly looks just as shocked as you are, still watching the backs of the two that had just left. You glance past Mingi to look at San, who is practically mirroring Mingi.

Considering they’re both as confused as you are, you figure it probably wouldn’t do any good to ask them what had just happened. You hadn’t even realized, but, looking around the room, it seems like a lot of people have already started clearing out. Not many people remain in the cafeteria, and those that do look like they’re finishing up.

You notice that one of the stragglers is making his way over to the table, and it takes you a second to recognize that it’s Wooyoung, from earlier. He smiles at you, waving as he approaches the table. As he takes in the expressions of you three, however, his smile drops and his expression changes to one of concern. 

“Are you guys alright?” He asks once he reaches the end of the table, looking from you to Mingi to San and then back. 

This snaps Mingi and San out of their stunned states. “Yes?” Mingi replies, making his affirmation sound more like a question. 

Wooyoung nods, but he doesn’t look too convinced. “Uh-huh,” he looks around the room, seemingly trying to find what has the three of you so flabbergasted. “Anyways, we’re gonna have a bonfire if you guys would like to join us in the plain commons.” 

San perks up at this. “Of course! We’ll be there.” You look to him, and his confused expression has completely left his face, replaced with the cheerful smile you’ve come to know. 

Wooyoung’s smile returns, and he lets you guys know that it’ll be ready in just a few minutes. You return his smile, waving as he turns to go. As soon as he’s left, however, you go right back to being just as confused as before. 

As you’re about to ask Mingi what Seonghwa had meant by his question, San gets up. “I’ll clear these for you guys, if you want to head out.” He says, grabbing his tray and the trays in front of you and Mingi. 

Mingi thanks him, standing up from the bench. He puts his hand out for you, and you readily grab it as you follow suit. The two of you walk in silence back outside. Again, you really want to ask what Seonghwa had meant, but Mingi speaks before you can. “We’re alone.”

Yes, in fact, you two are finally alone. This was all that you had been wanting all day. Yet, in the moment, everything you’ve wanted to say disappears from your mind. You search for a response, and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “I really missed you.”

He squeezes your hand in his, a small smile coming to his face. “I missed you, too.”

You almost want to freeze right there in the hall. You two are alone. The realization is finally hitting you, and you want to dig your heels in and refuse to go outside. A gentle silence falls between you two, and you don’t want to go to the bonfire, you don’t want to meet any more new people. You want to spend time with Mingi, and with Mingi alone. You start to hesitate in your steps, until you really do stop.

Mingi goes on for a step, his arm pulling yours upward. He stops, once he feels the resistance, turning to look over his shoulder at you. “Is something wrong?” He asks, looking concerned.

You don’t know where it comes from, but you suddenly feel the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes and your chest tightening. “Hey,” Mingi quickly notices, dropping your hand so that he can fully turn back to face you. Your tears start falling from the concerned tone of his voice alone. He steps back to you, lightly putting his hands on the sides of your arms. “Don’t cry. Why are you crying?” He’s bending slightly, his face level with yours. The pained expression he’s wearing only serves to make the tears come faster.

You don’t even know how to answer him. Why are you crying? Because you missed him so much? Because he left you in the first place? Because you’re going to have to leave him tomorrow? Because your life will never go back to how it was when he was a part of it? There’s too many reasons. He should be asking why you hadn’t cried yet. You only start crying harder when you think, and Mingi starts looking almost scared.

That almost makes you laugh. Not that you had made a habit out of crying in front of him, but, whenever you had in the past, he normally would start freaking out. He had never had the faintest clue how to comfort you. Now, however, he straightens himself back to his full height and pulls you to him, taking his hands from your arms to wrap around you. One finds its way around your waist, while the other goes around your shoulders, his hand cradling the back of your head. 

Instinctively, you wrap yourself around him, letting him hold you in the hallway. Your hands clench the back of his shirt, holding him like you might lose him. With your face in his chest, now you really can’t stop the tears. You really begin to cry now, with noises arising from your chest that you don’t even attempt to stop. Mingi simply holds you, stroking the back of your head in an attempt to calm you down. He murmurs reassurances to you, continuing to let you let it all out. 

After a few minutes, you begin to calm down. Your thoughts become more coherent, and you realize what is actually happening right now. You are in the dark hallway of a commune building, being held by your best friend that had abandoned you for a farm. Trying to compose yourself, you let go of your death grip on Mingi’s shirt and pull yourself back. He lets you go, and, for a moment, you wish he didn’t. When you look up at him, wiping your tears with the backs of your hands, you notice wetness on his cheeks as well. He looks away from you, bringing his own hand up to his face in a copy of your motions. 

You clear your throat, really having no idea what to do now. “Sorry,” you whisper, looking at the floor and trying to memorize the pattern on the carpet over looking at Mingi’s red eyes again. 

He puts a hand on your shoulder, and you look up at him. He’s shaking his head, still not looking at you. With surprise, you realize he’s still crying. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. When he looks back down at you, his voice is hoarse. “No, I’m sorry.” It’s so quiet that you can barely hear it, and he pulls you back to him again.

This time, you’re the one to comfort him. His body starts shaking, sobs racking his chest as you hold him tight once more. He’s too tall to put his face in your neck, so he’s pressing into the side of your head, wetting your hair. His hands are clinging to your shirt, holding the fabric tight to your body. 

Your arms wrap around his neck, squeezing him to let him know you’re there. You play with the ends of his hair, trying to calm him as he had you. Your eyes become wet again. You had no idea that Mingi would be so torn up over you crying. 

After the course of another few minutes, Mingi seems to make the same realizations that you had. His grip on your shirt loosens, and he picks his head up, but he doesn’t let go. He leans back to look at you, and then he does let go. He takes his hands out from behind you and brings them up to your face, softly cupping your cheeks. His thumbs swipe under your eyes, drying them easily. 

You two stand there for a moment, your arms around his neck and his hands on your face. You quickly realize, however, that this is not a way that friends stand. You bring your arms down and step back, looking to the ground again. Mingi releases you easily, using his hands to wipe his own remaining tears. 

He clears his throat, looking around the hallway like he’s expecting someone to pop out at him. “We should probably get outside.”

You quickly agree, wiping your face once more and desperately hoping that it doesn’t look like you just bawled your eyes out. 

With that, you two start heading out again.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

The bonfire goes well. In the open space in front of the main building, there was a large fire and a few of those outdoor folding chairs set up. You and Mingi had claimed two a bit farther away from everyone else, and he had comfortingly held your hand while you two sat in a much more comfortable silence than before. 

As the fire is winding down, you notice San heading toward the two of you. He smiles, asking if you’re about ready to turn in.

Mingi yawns, letting go of your hand to stretch his arms out behind him. 

Honestly, you think you could go a few more hours. You ask San what time it is, wondering why he felt the need to come ask you guys. “It’s 8:45, and curfew is at 9.”

Of course there’s a curfew. It just would make things too easy if there wasn’t. You realize that San is telling more than he’s asking, so you stand. Mingi follows.

Once more, the three of you head into the main building and up the stairs. As you peruse the second floor to reach the next staircase, you notice that many others are entering rooms as well. At the third floor, Mingi takes the lead. He walks only a bit down the hallway before stopping in front of a door. 

“This is my room…” He trails off, looking between you and San. “I’ll see you in the morning, (Y/n)?” 

You smile, giving him a nod as he opens the door. He smiles back at you, before turning into the room and closing the door.

You follow San the rest of the way down the hallway, and up the stairs to the women’s floor. He leads you to your door, opening it once more for you. You look inside, and realize that you don’t have your overnight bag with you. You sigh, not wanting to have to go all the way back down the stairs and all the way back up them. You tell San this, leaning against the door frame with a dramatic hand on your face.

“Oh,” he starts, looking down the hall. “Don’t worry, I had Yunho grab your bag.”

You take the hand from your face, a confused expression gracing it. “Whose that?”

“Me!”

You jump, turning toward the voice. There stands, apparently, Yunho, holding your bag in both his hands in front of him. He extends his arms, presenting the bag to you. You take it, still shocked by his sudden appearance. 

He’s tall. Like, Mingi tall. His hair is a dark brown, slightly textured. He’s smiling at you, and its almost blindingly beautiful. Like everyone else, he’s in the same blue jeans and button down, accompanied by a pair of black suspenders. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and, wow, does he look muscular. What is up with all the guys in this place? You seriously consider it for a second, before remembering that farming is very labor intensive work. His shoulders are so broad you wonder how his shirt even fits him, but that is a matter for another day.

Once more, you realize that you’ve been staring. You quickly look away, thanking him for getting your bag. 

He continues beaming at you, telling you that it’s not a problem at all. 

The three of you stand in silence in the hall, before you clear your throat. “Well, uh, goodnight?” You look between them, waiting for one of them to do something.

San moves first. “Goodnight, (Y/n)!” He gives your shoulder a pat as he walks away, back down the hallway to the stairs.

Yunho is quick to follow, saying his goodnight to you and going after San.

You watch them go before going into your room and closing the door. It’s just how you remember it. You set your bag down on the ground by the bed, opening it to grab your pyjamas. 

After going about your nightly routine, you pull the blankets back on the bed. You plan on distracting yourself for a bit, that is, mess around on your phone, before remembering that San still has it. 

Sighing, you get into bed and make yourself comfortable. You drift off faster than you would have expected, tired after your long day.

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THE ANSWER: XIX

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’ pairing: ateez x fem reader genre: cult au, thriller, angst check warnings on AO3

← previous || next → || masterlist chapter word count: 7,878

As usual, you wake up with the morning bell.

It takes you a moment to remember where you are. Once you do, you spring up, jumping to your feet in Hongjoong’s living room. 

“Good morning, princess.” You startle and wheel around to see Seonghwa standing in the kitchen area of the apartment. “Sleep well?” He gives you a sarcastic smile.

You bring a hand up to rub at your eyes, feeling them burn as you do so. You most certainly did not sleep well last night. Your entire body is sore and aching, though whether from your adventure last night or from sleeping on a couch, you’re not entirely sure. 

You take in more of the room, trying to get your bearings. “Where’s Hongjoong?” You question, turning back toward Seonghwa.

“Getting ready for service, as you should too.” Seonghwa gives you a once over. “Christ, you’re filthy. You slept like that? On Hongjoong’s couch?” 

You scoff. “When would I have had time to shower, genius?”

“It’s only been, I don’t know,” Seonghwa makes a show of pulling his sleeve back to look at his watch, “five hours since we got back. Maybe somewhere in there?”

You guess he has a point with that one, but you don’t even remember falling asleep. You were way too tired to care about showering. Apparently Hongjoong was, too, or he probably wouldn’t have let you sleep on his couch.

“The bathroom is in the bedroom, go shower before we have to go.” Seonghwa says, pointing to a closed door to his right. “I’ll get someone to bring you clean clothes.” He gives you another once over, not hiding the shudder that passes over him.

Your mind fails to produce a snarky remark, so you opt to shoot Seonghwa a look as you pass by him to reach the closed door. You grab the handle and twist, pushing the door open easily. 

You step into the room, taking in all that you can. You don’t exactly know what you were expecting Hongjoong’s bedroom to look like, but it wasn’t this. You’re not sure if the room always looks like a tornado blew through it, but that’s certainly what it looks like now, as you stand in the doorway. 

There’s loose paper all over the floor, reminding you of your university’s end-of-semester tradition of throwing schoolwork down the hallways like confetti. Ignoring the mess, the room looks mostly normal. There are more bookshelves in here, a desk, a bed, a dresser, and… that’s about it. You spot what must be the door to the bathroom on the right wall, but you hesitate before walking further.

You slowly squat to the floor, your thighs searing with the motion. You ignore the pain, however, in favor of reaching for the piece of paper closest to you. It’s a piece of lined notebook paper, the frilly edges still attached, with a single line written in the middle of the page, along with the date.

11/17/18 I found her.

Before even a thought is able to cross your mind about the sentence, a hand is on your shoulder. “Do you have any respect for anyone?” Seonghwa’s voice comes from over you, his free hand reaching around to pluck the piece of paper out of your hands. He pulls you up by your shirt, making you stand as he drops the paper to another area of the floor. “Seriously, can you follow a single direction? Do I need to help you bathe? Are you that incompetent?” 

You jerk your shoulder, pulling your shirt out of Seonghwa’s grasp. “You’re such a creep.” You straighten your shirt with your hands as you look to the floor, carefully stepping over other loose papers scattered about. You open the door to the bathroom, glad to see a very plain, average bathroom. 

You move to shut the door behind you, but Seonghwa quickly stops you with his tone. “Don’t shut the door.”

“Are you serious?” You ask, turning to face Seonghwa, who is still standing by the entrance of the bedroom. 

Seonghwa shrugs, “Can’t have any funny business going on, princess.”

You squint at Seonghwa. “What are you implying, exactly?”

His face contorts into a half-disgusted, half-disappointed face, “I meant I can’t have you trying to kill yourself, but if that’s the place your mind went…” He trails off before shaking his head, making his expression blank again. “Just leave the door cracked.”

You huff as you turn back into the bathroom, closing the door as much as possible without actually shutting it. You take a glance in the mirror, not really wanting to see how bad you assume you look. In just a quick look, you can see a smattering of dirt on your face and clothes, your hair looking equally as unkempt and messy. 

You peek into the shower, thankful that the knob is one that you understand how to work. Having to ask Seonghwa how to turn on the shower would truly be the last embarrassment you could take today, and the day has hardly begun. 

Turning the shower on, you speedily undress and hop in, thankful that the water had gotten warm already. You go about your business, scrubbing your body and washing your hair. To your relief, Hongjoong has both shampoo and conditioner, which you have come to understand is a big ask for some men.

About half way through rinsing your hair, a gentle hand knocks a couple times against the door. You freeze, unsure if you should peek your head out of the opaque curtain or even acknowledge the tapping. 

“Uh, (Y/n)?” You’re surprised to hear San’s voice come through the opening of the door. “Sorry to interrupt, uh, really sorry. But I brought you clean clothes?” He states the sentence like a question. “I, um, yeah, sorry, uh, I’m going to come in so I can set these in here for you, okay?”

“Okay.” You raise your voice a bit so that you can hopefully be heard over the running water.

The door hinge squeaks slightly as it opens, “I’m coming in…” San trails as you hear a couple footsteps come into the room. “Okay, they’re just sitting on the vanity, and, uh, I brought towels, too. I’ll leave now.” His sentence is punctuated by the sound of the door hitting the frame, but still not closing all of the way.

You finish up your shower, feeling very much refreshed as you reach for the towels San brought you. You quickly dry off and get dressed, assessing yourself in the mirror now that you’re feeling better.

The shower definitely helped your appearance, though you still don’t look the greatest you’ve ever looked. Gee, wonder why? You roll your eyes, examining the outfit that San had brought you. It’s the usual work pants and button up, the Sign of the Answer pinned to the collar that you hadn’t fully buttoned. You stare at the symbol in the mirror, the lights of the bathroom glinting off of the metal. It’s almost mesmerizing, but you pry your eyes away, opting to leave the bathroom. 

To your surprise, San is sitting at the desk in the corner of the bedroom, awkwardly playing with his fingers. The papers had been picked up off of the floor and are now stacked neatly in front of San, though he pays them no mind. His head turns at your movement, and he quickly hops out of the chair when he realizes that you’re there. “Sorry for sitting here all creepily, Seonghwa had to leave and told me to wait for you. Right here.”

You nod, believing his explanation well enough. The two of you stand in silence, and you take the time to take in San’s appearance. He’s dressed similarly to yourself, though he has suspenders wrapped around his shoulders and jewelry adorning his neck. It’s the first time you’ve seen San since you were in the infirmary, and you’re not exactly displeased that it had been him sent to get your clothes. 

Though you still don’t fully trust him, considering he was your first point of contact with this place, and essentially the very reason you’re trapped here, you can’t deny that there’s… something about him. Probably the way his face looks like it was personally sculpted by the hands of God.

He takes a few steps closer to you, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck, “Listen, (Y/n)... Are you okay?” 

That question again. You shrug in response, not sure what to say. 

San takes another step toward you, little space remaining between the two of you anymore. He looks down at you, his hand coming up to hover over your shoulder. “Can I touch you?” He asks quietly, placing his hand down onto you once you nod in approval. “I mean this seriously. Are you okay? Are you going to hurt yourself?” 

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. This is the second time someone’s said something of that nature. “I don’t plan on it.” You state, genuinely meaning it. Killing yourself would accomplish exactly none of your goals at the moment. “Why?”

San blinks. “It’s happened a couple times.”

Your eyes widen as you realize what San is telling you. So there have been others like you, then? People that refused to get sucked into… whatever this is. 

“Promise that you’ll come to me,” San starts, still wearing a serious expression, “if you ever get that desperate. I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

“Okay?” You agree, though you’re not sure why San would think that he would be someone that you would want to go to in that situation. “Thanks, San.” You add as an afterthought, appreciating the offer at least.

“I mean it. It should never get to that point.” He squeezes your shoulder. “Other than that, are you okay? Any cuts or bruises or…” San’s eyes trail down your exposed arms, assessing for any damage. 

You shake your head, extending your arms to show that they’re intact.

“Great,” San smiles, his eyes crinkling with the expression. “If you’re ready, we should probably head to the chapel?” 

He drops his hand from your shoulder once you nod, confirming that you’re ready. If there is such a thing as being “ready” for whatever you’re about to hear Hongjoong rattle on about. 

The two of you make your way out of the apartment, heading down the stairs. It seems that the majority of the crowd has already made it downstairs or outside, as you two are left alone in your journey. 

You pause on one of the landings, a question bubbling to the forefront of your mind. “Um, San,” you start, getting the man’s attention. He stops as well, turning his head to face you. “Does everyone… know?” 

Not that you’re really that concerned about the other Followers knowing about your escape attempt, really… if not for Mingi. 

The thought of Mingi knowing about your attempted escape is, honestly, kind of embarrassing. If he knew that you tried to leave, how would that make him feel? Would he feel like you betrayed him by trying to leave him behind? Surely he would understand that you would’ve come back for him, right? Or would he feel betrayed to find that you don’t believe in the Answer, whatever that even entails? Would he be sad? Angry?

San shakes his head at you. “No, don’t worry. Just us bigwigs. Hongjoong doesn’t like sharing these stories, just in case they, well, you know, inspire the others.”

“Ahhh,” you let your voice trail off to silence as San resumes walking down the stairs, with you following. You suppose that settles one of your concerns, but there is another issue beginning to weigh on your mind.

Surely, there must be a punishment for your actions in store. What will it be? How serious will it be? If Hongjoong meant to kill you for the transgression, he would’ve had it happen last night, he made that clear enough. But what other punishment could there be? You vaguely remember Seonghwa telling you something about him beating even women for Hongjoong, but whether that was just a threat or the honest truth still remains a mystery. 

There’s no way Hongjoong would have you beaten. Absolutely no way. Right? If he cares about you so much…

Speaking of which, what the hell was that dream last night? Was that a dream? It must’ve been, there’s no other explanation. Hongjoong, murderer and cult leader, crying over you? Pleading with you to forgive him? That is simply not the reality of the situation that you are in. If anything, the mere thought that it was a dream warrants some serious soul-searching on your own part. Why are you dreaming about cuddling with Hongjoong, huh? 

None of last night really makes any sense at all. In all honesty, the entire night feels like a dream, not just when you arrived back to the compound. Already, the memories are gaining a hazy glow about them, like the events happened so long ago that they are becoming hard to recall. You can probably attribute that to the exhaustion you were feeling at the time, and the fact that it happened so late at night… but it’s still a bit odd, nevertheless.

But that really isn’t relevant. What is relevant, however, is what the hell is supposed to happen now. What will your punishment be? What will your next plan be? When is the next time that you will be able to act? Will there be another opportunity?

… Of course there will be, it will just be a matter of time. 

Before you know it, San and yourself are stepping out the front door and headed toward the chapel. Now that you’re outside, you catch a few glimpses of fellow stragglers still headed to service, though it does seem that the two of you will be the last to join. 

When you reach the steps, San scales them quickly, offering his hand to you to guide you up the couple steps. You take it lightly, though pull back as soon as you’re up the steps. As attractive as San might be, you have to keep your wits about you. Like he said, he’s a ‘bigwig.’ He is ultimately responsible for you being stuck here…

As per usual, the doors are being held open by a couple people that you can’t recall meeting before. You still offer a small smile as you pass by, not entirely forgetting the manners that you were raised with despite the uncomfortableness of the situation. To be fair, those two people are probably just as innocent as you are. They don’t deserve a cold shoulder or an attitude.

San ducks into the chapel first, leading the way up the rows. To your dismay, he walks all the way to the front, turning back to smile at you and gesture for you to slide onto the pew first. You quickly glance around, trying to find another person that you could excuse yourself to sit with.

While you are able to spot Mingi and Yunho sitting together, their row is entirely full. Yunho gives you a small wave when he notices you looking, and you have to resist the urge to squint at him. Though you haven’t confirmed that Yunho was the one that snitched on you, really, who else could it have been?

You look to the other side of the room and find Nayeon and Seungmin, though, again, their pew is already full of other worshippers.

Welp, that decides it for you.

Sighing, you turn back to San and take his offer, sliding onto the first pew. You scootch until you’re sitting within a few inches of the next person on the bench, who turns to glare at you as soon as he can.

“Have fun last night?” Jongho whispers to you in a tone that is much less than kind. “You better have, because you destroyed rows upon rows of corn.” 

Not sure how to respond, you quickly turn away, trying your best to not incur any more of his wrath. 

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Jongho demands, his voice still not raising above a whisper. 

Your whip back to face him once more, having not expected him to say anything more. “Sorry?”

“You better be,” Jongho sneers, “I’ve told Hongjoong this already, but let me make it clear to you as well. If I find you in my fields— no, if I even hear about you in my fields again— it won’t end as nicely as it did last night. Got it?”

You do your best to keep your expression neutral, though that is quite a task when your life is being threatened. Again unsure of how to respond, you simply nod at Jongho, your eyes wide. 

Jongho tuts as he turns away from you, crossing his arms over his chest. 

You do the same, though you place your hands on your thighs in an attempt to stealthily wipe the nervous sweat off of your palms. Seriously, what is Jongho’s problem with you? You glance over at San, wondering if he had just been witness to that exchange, but you find that he’s engrossed in conversation with Wooyoung on his other side. 

Not even a minute passes before you hear the doors creaking shut behind you, the room slowly plunging into darkness that is broken only by the two windows by the entrance. At the back of the chapel, their light hardly reaches you. 

In the time that you had had between your release from the infirmary and your escape attempt, you had grown used to the pattern of these services. Hongjoong would come in, make some grand statement, spout some bullshit, make announcements, and get on with his day. You memorized the motions of the crowd, the responses to make, the way to behave… but you still refused to follow them.

Nothing has changed. You don’t duck your head as you hear Hongjoong’s footsteps coming down the aisle of the chapel. You turn to face him instead, watching as he struts his way to the stage in front of you.

As usual, he smiles at your small rebellion. 

Today, he’s wearing his normal clothes, the work clothes that blend in with everyone else. Seonghwa trails behind Hongjoong in his typical, oddly military fashion. And, as usual with Seonghwa, he’s glaring at you.

You smile just to provoke Seonghwa, raising your hand to wiggle your fingers at him in a mock wave. 

If you’re already going to feel their wrath, might as well have a little fun with it. 

When they reach the stage, Seonghwa sits on the same pew as yourself, albeit on the other side of Yeosang, who sat next to Wooyoung, who sat next to San, who sat next to you. Hongjoong takes his seat on his chair-throne-hybrid, giving you one last tight-lipped smile before starting. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” The crowd answers, their heads hanging toward their laps. 

“Rise.” Hongjoong commands, the heads quickly following.

And thus begins Hongjoong’s normal shenanigans. You find yourself lapsing in attention, your eyelids heavy despite having just woken up. You half-way drowse through the service, struggling to keep yourself awake. Hongjoong’s voice is honestly a bit relaxing when he’s on his tangents, his way of speaking generally being quite soft. 

Hearing your name snaps you out of your daze. 

“(Y/n) and San will be living together, from now on. I have given them my blessing, and I hope you all will follow suit.” 

You quickly look up at Hongjoong, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. He looks like he’s resisting the urge to laugh, a particular glint in his gaze daring you to say something. You opt to look over at San instead, only to see him looking just as surprised as yourself. 

“As a community, we must encourage dependability and foster connections where we can. San and (Y/n) are fated to have a connection in Universe One, and thus they must have one here. Hence,” Hongjoong clears his throat, obviously stifling a laugh, “they will be brought together in this way.”

You look back over to San, who is still looking just as shocked as you feel. He turns to look at you, as if trying to ask if you knew about this. You do your best to convey that you also had no idea, though there is really only so much you can do through an expression. You gently shrug your shoulders. 

Hongjoong continues on with his sermon, though you do not continue paying attention. Instead, you worry about what exactly Hongjoong means by ‘living together.’ As in, living together in one of those small rooms? Does San have a nicer room than you? Or will you get an apartment, like the married couples? No, hold on, because you will not be getting married— even spiritually— to anyone here, especially not San. What is Hongjoong’s goal with this?

Once he wraps up his announcements for the day, Hongjoong stands. As per usual, everyone else remains sitting, waiting for their leader to excuse himself before rising to their feet. 

Instead of walking straight out of the chapel, however, Hongjoong motions to you and San, beckoning the two of you to follow with him. 

You both obey, stumbling to your feet in shock to follow Hongjoong, hopeful for an explanation. Seonghwa follows after you, falling in line. 

Hongjoong swings the door open, the morning sunlight instantly pouring into the chapel and nearly blinding you. How he is able to do that so easily, you will never know. You blink quickly in an attempt to adjust to the light as you follow behind Hongjoong as he leads your small group back to the main building. 

Once you arrive, he heads straight for the stairs, scaling them without checking to make sure that his posse is still with him. Your group walks in silence up the stairs to the final level of the compound. 

Now that it’s not the middle of the night, the lights are on and you can take in much more of the hallway than you had been able to last night. There are more doors than you had realized, though definitely not as many as on the lower floors. Hongjoong leads you about halfway down the hall before stopping in front of a door, resting his hand on the knob. 

He finally turns to look at the three of you, a grin that can truly only be described as cheeky spreading across his features. “Welcome to your new apartment,” he twists the handle, pushing the door inward. “Let’s talk.” He gestures for you to enter the apartment first, his hand resting flat against the door to keep it open.

San follows the direction first, resting a gentle hand on your back as he slides past you. Seonghwa is not as gentle, opting to shoulder you out of his way to get into the apartment. Hongjoong (who is still smiling), gestures again for you to enter, and you finally heed.

Stepping inside, you find that the apartment is quite similar to the one that Hongjoong occupies, even down to the furniture. Although lacking any personal effects, there are the same bookshelves, the same coffee table, and the same couch. The layout of the apartment is relatively similar as well, with the kitchenette off to your right and a door leading to another room on the adjacent wall. 

Seonghwa makes himself at home, pulling out a stool from under the small counter and dragging it to the living room. San awkwardly stands in the space between the couch and the coffee table, staring behind you to watch Hongjoong.

Hongjoong closes the door to the apartment behind himself, walking up behind you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. Despite planting your feet to the ground below you, he is still able to drag you with him as he walks further inside, releasing his grip once you’re standing at San’s side. “Sit.” He motions to the couch.

San sits first, shuffling to the far left side of the couch. You follow his lead, scooching to the far right side as Hongjoong plants himself on the coffee table. You blink at him, already a bit offended that he would use your coffee table as a seat. 

“What the fuck is going on?” You spit, not taking your eyes off of Hongjoong’s face. His smile never falters, unfortunately.

Hongjoong chuckles. “Do you remember what happened last night?”

You tilt your head, squinting your eyes at Hongjoong as sarcastically as you can. 

“I don’t want to call this your punishment, per se, but I’m sure you can imagine why you can no longer be trusted to live alone.” He holds his palms up in front of him as if asking ‘what can I do?’ 

“So you’re making me live with San?” You look over at San, feeling only a little guilty about the tone that you speak his name in. “Why him?” Though you're not pleased by the thought of suddenly having to live with anyone, the thought of it being San in particular comes off as strange.

Hongjoong turns his attention toward the man in question, his smile faulting slightly. “San was the natural choice, seeing as the others don’t particularly like you, and I couldn’t pair you with just anyone.” Hongjoong glances back over to you. “And San is a devoted Follower. I’m hoping he’ll rub off on you.”

San clears his throat from his side of the couch, garnering the attention of yourself and the other two men. “So, what you said in the service, about (Y/n) and I being fated in Universe One… Is that a true prophecy or just an excuse for the others?” 

Hongjoong scoffs, though he tries to play it off as a cough. “A little of both. You’re fated because I’m making it so. There isn’t any need for either of you to read into the impacts this will have on the Clones.” He waves his hand in front of him. “(Y/n) has something much bigger fated than a simple living arrangement.”

“Such as?” You lead, hoping that Hongjoong would afford you the single luxury of a little foresight. 

Hongjoong simply shakes his head. “Be patient. I can’t tell you just yet.” He looks over to Seonghwa, who is still sitting silently. “Seonghwa is going to be your next door neighbor, from now on.” 

You look over at Seonghwa, who simply glares back at you. 

“San,” Hongjoong’s tone is firm as he gets the man’s attention. “Let me make one thing very clear to you. You will not touch (Y/n). She is not yours.” 

Your gaze flits to San, who is staring at Hongjoong with wide eyes. “I would n-”

Hongjoong doesn’t let him finish his sentence. “And that goes for you as well, (Y/n). The walls are thin. We’ll know if your ‘punishment’ becomes something it isn’t supposed to be.” He’s no longer smiling. 

In turn, you smile. “Seriously? You think you can tell me to not have sex?” You ask the question in more of a ‘fuck you’ than anything else, and you hope that San doesn’t read into it. Truly, you don’t want to have sex with San, but who is Hongjoong to tell you that you couldn’t if you did? 

Seonghwa scoffs. “Poor little princess has to keep it in her pants. How ever will she survive, Hongjoong? I’m sure she had just the craziest sex life right up until this moment.” His voice drips sarcasm, and the desire to punch him has never been stronger.

Hongjoong ignores Seonghwa. “I’m not saying you can’t have sex, (Y/n). I’m saying you can’t have sex with San.” Hongjoong clears his throat, clearly feeling uncomfortable despite the very bold implications he’s making. Ew. “Think of it as part of your punishment— Which, by the way, has more to it.” 

He stands up from the coffee table, walking over to the bookshelves against the wall. You follow him with your eyes, watching as he reaches to the shelf in front of him and grabs the only book available. You don’t have to be a genius to guess what the book is. 

Hongjoong holds it in front of him, as if admiring the tome. “I know you haven’t read The Answer. That is going to change.” He walks back to the coffee table, sitting down on its wooden surface once more. He not so gently drops the book onto your lap, stinging your thighs through the material of your pants. “You will have daily reading sessions with either myself or Seonghwa until you finish the book, starting tomorrow.”

You look from the book in your lap to the man sitting in front of you. There is no way in hell you’re reading that damn book. Hongjoong must sense the defiance in you already. “Might I remind you, (Y/n), how lucky you are to be alive? That you begged for your life at my feet?” Hongjoong stands, towering over you from your spot on the couch. “That you promised you would make it up to me if I let you live?” He leans forward, resting his hands on your shoulders, pushing you back into the pillows. “You will prove your worth to me, or I will kill you. It would be wise to not forget.” He whispers. 

With Hongjoong entirely too close to your face and his grip unpleasantly tight on your shoulders, you can’t do anything but nod. Though you don’t want to remember last night, and you obviously said those things only to escape with your life, you have to agree. As much as you hate to admit it, Hongjoong is right. He can kill you whenever he wants. There’s no one coming to save you; you are entirely at his mercy. 

Any sense of rebellion that you had had, even for a fleeting second, is gone. Hongjoong must see the light leave your eyes, as he finally breaks into a smile while still holding you tight. 

“That’s my good girl.” It doesn’t sound much like a compliment. He quickly dips closer to you, pressing his lips to your forehead before you have the opportunity to jerk away. 

The kiss is chaste, and he lets go of you to stand straight once again very soon after you even comprehend what he’s done. “Well, we’ll leave the two of you alone, then. San, you’ll continue working as usual, though you’ll do it from here to keep an eye on her. (Y/n), I’ve told Wooyoung to halt your schedule to accommodate our lessons, so no need to go to the kitchens for the next few days.” 

Seonghwa rises from his spot as Hongjoong starts to make his way toward the door, following his leader. 

“One more thing, San. You are not to let her out of your sight. Feel free to live your lives as normal, but it must be together. Do not leave her alone with anyone unless it is myself or Seonghwa, okay?” Hongjoong pauses in the entryway, looking expectantly at San. 

San nods, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, Hongjoong.” 

Hongjoong must be satisfied, as he finally opens the door and exits the apartment. Seonghwa offers no goodbye, simply following Hongjoong out into the hallway and shutting the door behind himself. 

The apartment is plunged into an awkward silence. What are you supposed to say to San? After he just agreed to be Hongjoong’s personal watchdog? Now that you’re being forced to live together? 

“(Y/n)?” San says your name like a question. You look over at him before he starts speaking once more. “I want you to know that I genuinely had no idea that he was planning this. I’m sorry.” 

You nod, offering a small smile to San even though you’re not quite sure if you believe him. Why would Hongjoong not tell him? Unless he had planned this whole idea entirely last minute, it doesn’t make sense that San wouldn’t be in on it. 

Unless San had done something to piss Hongjoong off? And this was a sort of punishment for him as well? That could be a possibility, you suppose. But what could San have done that would warrant something like this? Something like a test of loyalty? 

Does Hongjoong trust San implicitly, and that’s why he was given this job? Or does he question San’s loyalty; is he wondering just how deep it lies, and this is a test for him as much as it is for you? 

“And, also, I won’t come onto you. Even if Hongjoong hadn’t said anything, I would never touch you,” San glances at you quickly before averting his eyes, “without your permission.” He quickly clears his throat, standing up. “You can take the bedroom, there’s probably only one bed. I can sleep out here just fine.” 

“Wouldn’t that be letting me out of your sight?” You mean to say it as a joke, but San takes your question more seriously.

He ponders for a second, frowning a bit. “I don’t think he meant it that literally, do you?” He tilts his head to look over at the bedroom, though the door is still closed. “If you think he did, then I suppose we can share the bed. It wouldn’t bother me if it wouldn’t bother you.” He pauses, “But I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I don’t mind either way, really.” He rushes the sentence out, jumbling the words together. 

In a way, San’s desire to make you comfortable is almost touching. Since getting to this place, had there been a single person who really tried? Mingi, that first night? Nayeon, when she was taking care of you? When was the last time you had experienced genuine kindness? You couldn’t say for sure. 

Though it is very well possible that San could have ulterior motives, the gesture is still touching to you. Despite what you hold against San, you almost feel grateful to him for the simple kindness he’s extending to you now. He doesn’t have to treat you gently or fondly, and yet he does. 

And, really, is San responsible for this? For you being stuck here? Just because he took your phone? Can you blame him for doing his job? How could you fault him for being just as loyal to Hongjoong as everyone else here? It’s not as if you knew him before and could expect any more from him. 

“Thank you, San,” you find yourself saying. “For being respectful.”

San looks at you sadly. “Its the least I could do.”

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

You spend the rest of your day awkwardly glued to San’s hip. Try as you might to get him to leave you alone for even a few minutes, he stays loyal to his promise to Hongjoong. 

The two of you had ventured down to San’s office to grab some of his work supplies, and you were a bit shocked to see that he had a laptop sitting on his desk. That was the first piece of technology that you had seen since he took your phone, and it was startling. 

What San’s reasons are for having a laptop, you’re not sure. You’re also not sure if there was even a WiFi router in his office, so whether or not the laptop is connected to the internet is an entirely different mystery. One that is very intriguing. 

If there is some connection to the outside world, even a small one, you would have to try and take advantage of it. If that laptop is connected to the internet somehow, it could very well be the key to your escape…

But San had completely ignored the laptop, opting to instead grab a few ledgers and files from a filing cabinet. He had rushed to grab his things, seemingly uncomfortable with you standing there and watching him. Honestly, you were too caught up staring at the laptop to even bother looking for anything else around the room, which might have been a mistake. If San really was uncomfortable with you in his office, there must be a reason (or reasons, plural?), other than the item that had been so plainly left on his desk. 

The rest of your day had proceeded as normal, except you didn’t work in the kitchens at all and you had San with you the entire time (so, really, not normal at all). When you weren’t eating, the two of you kept to yourselves within the new apartment. You honestly have no idea what you’re supposed to say to him, or how you’re supposed to interact with him.

The two of you hadn’t exactly gotten close, and the last time you had really spoken to him was on the day of your arrival. You’re not sure of his personality or his behaviors, which puts you a little on edge. What if the two of you start to interact and absolutely cannot get along? 

Or what if you become fast friends? What if you find yourself enjoying the company? 

While you don’t want to spend… however long Hongjoong plans on making the two of you live together in complete awkwardness, you’re not sure if you would prefer getting close to San. It would probably make everything a whole lot more bearable, but is getting attached to people the right thing to do in this situation? Is there even a right thing to do? 

You honestly have no idea. The thought of remaining distant from San is equally as concerning as the thought of getting close with him. Both possibilities have their own pros and cons, and it will be hard to pick one of them. Though you suppose that San will also play a determining factor in your decision. If he refuses to speak to you, you won’t be able to befriend him very easily.

Not that he is refusing to speak to you, of course. The lack of conversation seems much more attributable to the looming tension between the two of you; the stiffness of your interactions due to the simple lack of knowledge about each other.

Had Hongjoong thought this far ahead? Picked the person that would make you just perfectly uncomfortable? Speaking of what Hongjoong had said— didn’t he say that the ‘others’ didn’t like you? What the hell was that? Obviously, Hongjoong wouldn’t have you live with himself or Seonghwa. That leaves Jongho, Yeosang, Wooyoung, and San. You know that Jongho doesn’t like you (for what reason, you still have no idea), but what about Yeosang and Wooyoung? What was the reason for not picking either of them? Did they have an issue with you that you were unaware of?

You try to think of your last interaction with your boss. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary. Wooyoung has always been perfectly pleasant with you… so maybe that was part of it? Hongjoong didn’t want someone that actually liked your presence to be the one to watch you, maybe? 

But what about Yeosang, the mechanic? The last thing you remember saying to him was your question about the vehicles around the farm. Besides that, you really hadn’t interacted with him very much. Was there something that you did to him? 

It could be another Jongho situation, you suppose. Maybe he just doesn’t like new people. That could very well be it. But that leaves you to wonder if there is a deeper reason behind Jongho’s attitude toward you. He treats you like he has a personal vendetta against you, like you have personally offended him on multiple levels. What the hell you had ever done to him, you have absolutely no clue. Jongho was callous to you the first time that you ever met him, already hostile toward you even before you knew what you had gotten yourself into. 

This place really doesn’t make any sense. The place itself, the people, their behaviors, none of it. 

Though it might be a bit soon to begin planning for your next escape attempt, you know that it must start eventually. You refuse to remain in this place for a second longer than you must. You will not be kept here for the rest of your life, so long as you can help it.

The beginnings of a plan swirl through your mind, but you cannot think of anything concrete.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

You can’t speak for San, but, by the time you return to your new room after dinner, you’re exhausted. It seems almost impossible to think that you had been in the corn fields less than 24 hours ago, that you had slept on Hongjoong’s couch just last night, that you had been served your punishment just this morning. 

You hadn’t had the chance to talk to anyone else today, though you were holding that you would be able to talk to Mingi. You are mildly worried that, despite what San said, he might’ve gotten wind of what happened last night. Not to mention that you’re curious to know how he feels about your new living arrangement.

Though you’re not sure what you hope for. You realize that you wouldn’t like it if Mingi is happy for you, so what is it that you want? 

Isn’t that just the question? What do you want from Mingi? Why had you come here in the first place? To catch up with Mingi. Could the plan have potentially gone more awry? You had wanted to find Mingi, to reconnect with him, and now you’re here. Probably less than 500 feet from him, and you’ve hardly interacted with him at all. 

Not that you could if you wanted to, of course. Hongjoong has made it clear that it will be abundantly difficult for you to have a private conversation with anyone. His design is to isolate you from the one person that you could have any sway over, and it is clever enough that you’re not sure how you can work around it.

Maybe, with time, San will trust you more and become more lenient with the rules that Hongjoong had set. That’s all you can really hope for. 

San sits on the couch, a copy of The Answer open in his lap. It must be his personal copy, as it looks quite beat up from your perspective. You sit on one of the kitchen stools, a few feet away from him. You can hear his breathing and the occasional flip of a page, and you find that you are curious as to what he’s reading. Are there stories in the book, like there are stories in the Bible? Is it just a collection of Hongjoong’s thoughts? His rules? His ideas? You honestly don’t know. 

You very easily could find out for yourself, a pristine copy of The Answer resting on the coffee table in front of San…

No. You aren’t curious. You don’t care. The last thing you want to do right now is voluntarily read cult propaganda. Besides, it’s not like you won’t find out soon enough, with your ‘lessons’ starting tomorrow. 

You’re startled out of your thoughts by the sound of San’s book hitting the coffee table. You turn yourself on the stool as you hear him stand, prepared for him to address you. 

“So,” he starts, taking a step toward you, but still keeping a fair distance, “how do you think we should… sleep?" 

You rub your eyes with the bases of your palms. You had kind of been ignoring thinking about it on purpose. You obviously don't want to share a bed with San, but you also feel bad making him sleep on the couch. You have no idea how long this arrangement will last, and making someone sleep on a couch for an indefinite amount of time feels cruel. With that being said, you don't want to be the one sleeping on the couch, either. 

Assuming the bedroom is similar to Hongjoong's, the bed should be big enough to easily accommodate two people. It wouldn't be that uncomfortable to share the bed (if you ignore the fact that you hardly know each other).

"If you're comfortable with it, we can share the bed. It’s fine with me." You suggest the idea before you think any further on it. 

San hesitates. "You're sure?" He points at the couch behind him, "I can definitely make myself comfortable out here."

"Yeah, it's, it's fine, San. I don't want to make you sleep on a couch when there's a perfectly fine bed in the next room."

San gives you a crooked smile. "You wouldn't be 'making' me do anything, you know; I'm offering purely out of my gentlemanly heart." He emphasizes his last words as if he's joking, but you sense that he isn't. He really wouldn't care, no matter what decision you make.

You find yourself chuckling anyhow. “I appreciate your gallantry, San,” you play along, “but, really, I don’t mind.”

“If you insist, my lady.” San giggles with you. “But don’t be surprised if you change your mind after tonight, I’m kind of a blanket hog.” 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。. The two of you get ready for bed, each taking turns changing into your pajamas in your new bathroom. You hadn’t realized how much you had missed not having to use a communal bathroom, but it is now obvious that the privacy of a single bathroom had been desperately missing from your life. 

You brush your teeth side by side, though you attempt to look absolutely anywhere but San’s reflection in the mirror. In doing so, you take in more details of the bathroom. The large bathtub/shower combination, the cold white tiles of the floor, the plain beige walls, the silver fixtures, the large vanity and mirror panels that take up half of the damn wall. It’s just about as average of a bathroom as you can imagine, if not a little bit fancier in some regards. You certainly didn’t have such large mirrors in your apartment, your real one. For a second, you wonder if the apartment is still as you left it. Had you missed rent yet? Is your landlord spamming your phone, asking where his money is? 

Hopefully he’s not such an asshole that he would get rid of your stuff, but you wouldn’t put it past him. Not that you have anything too valuable anyhow, but it would really blow to have all of your stuff gone if you ever get out of here. 

When. When you get out of here.

You slide into bed first, claiming the left side as your own. You keep to the edge of the bed, trying to take up as little space as possible. When San joins you, he does the same. The blanket strains in the middle with the weight of both of you pulling it as far as it wants to go in either direction, but you both choose to ignore this fact.

San clicks off the bedside lamp on his side and you follow suit. “Goodnight, (Y/n).” San whispers, flipping over onto his side. 

“Goodnight, San.”

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THE ANSWER: XV

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’ pairing: ateez x fem reader genre: cult au, thriller, angst check warnings on AO3

← previous || next → || masterlist chapter word count: 5,830

Waking up does not come quickly or naturally. It takes fucking forever and it’s a fully fledged, god-dammed work out. 

You’re not exactly conscious of the fact that you’re waking up, but you still feel the pull of the waking world drawing you out of the darkness that feels as though it has been endless. There is effort required to start dragging yourself through those layers. The darkness stretches on in all directions, briefly disrupted by bursts of… something. 

As you become more aware, you realize that the something is, in fact, excruciating pain. Why does it hurt so bad? Why is there so much darkness? The confusion is disorientating, and you let your mind fade away into it once more.

When you’re next aware, it’s because of that pain. That terrible, red-hot pain. It’s not centralized, but rather radiating throughout your being. The pain stabs through your senses, making you much more aware than you desire. You wish you could shy away from it, that you could run out of your skin and put distance between yourself and it. Unfortunately, it sticks with you; your eternal friend. 

The pain makes you more aware of your surroundings. Details begin to come into focus. You realize that you’re dreaming. But you’re also awake. Why can’t you bring yourself to open your eyes? You try, but all that remains is the dark. Honestly, you’re not even entirely aware of yourself, of your body. You’ve come to enough to remember that you are, in fact, a living being with a physical form. At least, that’s what the pain is signalling to you. However, you can’t actually conceptualize this form.

Time passes, but you have no idea how much. Presently, you are finally aware of yourself. While you still can’t manage to open your eyes, you’ve realized the sensation of the mattress beneath your back. You can feel a blanket resting on your chest, a steady and welcoming weight evenly distributed over your body. Your fingers are cold. You can hear a steady drip, drip drip. 

You can actually hear more than simply the drip, you realize. It takes a fair amount of effort to focus your brain onto the topic of processing the information, but you begin to be aware of voices. People! Relief rushes over you, relief that you hadn’t known you had needed. The knowledge that there are people with you, people watching over you, people taking care of you. 

If only you knew who the voices belonged to. Or what they are saying. Is it only one, or are there multiple? It’s impossible for you to say. The effort of processing the noises was already too much for you. You’re not going to bother to figure that out. 

With this new, comforting knowledge, you let yourself drift off once more.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

Oh, oh fuck. You’re aware again. The pain is back and worse than ever. You try to move, try to wiggle, try to run away, try to do anything to provide some sort of relief. It seems that you are still too weak, however. You can’t move and the pain does nothing to subside. Though it was once uncentralized, now it definitely is. The area below your left shoulder is on fire. It’s burning. With every beat of your heart, it spreads throughout your chest. It’s almost relieving, right up until the next second, when your heart beats again. The pain is completely incomprehensible. It doesn’t have any rhyme or reason to it. 

Why the fuck does it hurt so bad? What happened? You rack your mind in an effort to understand why, but nothing comes. Fuck, if you’re going to be in so much pain, you should at least get to know why! 

This is unfair. How can you be in so much pain without understanding? You have a sense that, in the back of your mind, you do know why you’re in pain; but you can’t quite reach the memory. It frustrates you further, almost amplifying the pain with your anger. Without quite realizing it, a groan comes from deep in your throat, so deep that it nearly rings through your chest. 

Only a few seconds later, you become aware of a vice grip on your left hand. Whoever is grabbing you must be trying to crush your fingers to distract you from the pain in your chest. Whether or not you want to thank them or groan again is a question for another time. 

You recognize that these new sensations are a blessing of a sort. The new feelings mean that you are nearly there, or, at least, you feel like you’re nearly there. Back to the world of the living. Your ears had been shut off once again, it seemed. You’re quite suddenly aware of them working once more, as they’re quickly overwhelmed with new information.

There are definitely multiple people talking, you can tell that for sure. There’s someone close to you, on your left. That must be the person holding your hand. Come to think of it, that voice… sounds almost like… 

God, what’s his name? 

Ugh, whatever. It’s unimportant. All that is important is the fact that you at least recognize the voice. You know who it belongs to, somewhere in the recesses of your mind. That alone is a consoling enough fact.

There is also another voice to your right, and you’re sure that you recognize that one as well…

The grip on your hand losens. As if it were a tether, you feel your mind loosen with it.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

Next thing you know, your eyes are open. With exactly zero effort on your part, they had simply sprung open. There is quite a bit of sensory overload that comes with this entirely new input.

With your eyes open, your mind seems to finally catch up as well. You’re on a farm. You’re in danger. Mingi is in danger. Something bad happened. 

Ah, yes. Of course. How could you forget the lovely new reality that you’ve found yourself in? 

As your mind catches up to your body, you take in as much as you can see. Which, as of yet, is pretty much just ceiling tiles. In your peripheral vision, you can see what looks to be a heart monitoring screen, as well as the pile of pillows that your head is sunk into. The ceiling is white and pocketed. It’s the kind of ceiling that they use inside of a school, with removable squares that open to a mysterious darkness. You wiggle our eyes about, trying to get a better sense of everything around you. 

You can see the edges of your bed, the bars holding your body on the frame. It must be a hospital bed, which would make sense. Not that you can yet quite remember what the fuck had happened to land you in said hospital bed… But the rest of the information that you have gathered makes it add up. Looking to your right, you can barely see the top of a wooden side table. You can see the rim of what you think is probably a glass of water, along with a pitcher beside it. Your throat shrivels up at the thought of the water. How long has it been since you’ve had a drink? Christ, it feels like an eternity.

You decide to test the limits of your waking body by trying to raise your right hand toward the water. Instead of your arm floating into the air as you would expect, your hand barely rises above the surface of your bed. Hey, at least it’s a start!

Speaking of your hands, your left one feels quite a bit heavier than the right. Focusing your attention onto this left hand, you quickly conceptualize the familiar feeling of a hand in yours. It’s not gripping you with as much desperation as the last hand-hold you remember, but you’re willing to bet that it belongs to the same person.

There’s a steady rise and fall of breath coming from your left. Your mystery guest must be sleeping. 

Nevermind the sleeping. Before stopping to consider whether or not this guest needed their beauty rest, you become determined to wake them. You start by wiggling your fingers. It’s kind of hard for you to tell if they’re actually moving, or if you’re just imagining the feeling of it. You sure hope that they’re moving. 

But your guest shows no sign of waking.

You move on to try moving your entire hand. You had gotten your entire right hand to lift off of the bed, so you should be able to do the same with your left, no? 

You don’t have to ponder the no. Your hand lifts ever so slightly into the air, the hand of your guest rising with it. You tilt your hand, making the one atop yours slide into the open air and fall onto your bed. Hopefully that’s enough to wake the visitor, otherwise you’re not sure wha-

Your thoughts are entirely cut off by the guest immediately springing into the air and leaning over your face. You blink once, taking him in in all of his glory.

Mingi stares down at you, eyes weary with sleep and lips slightly parted. His hand is instantly back in yours, gripping each of your fingers so tightly that they feel claustrophobic in his hand. 

Though you’re not sure why, your eyes begin to water the second that the two of you make eye contact. Mingi’s lips part wider and then clamp shut. He’s rendered utterly speechless, it seems.

His free hand appears in your peripheral vision, coming to rest on your cheek. His thumb rubs the area directly below your eye, wiping any wetness that has managed to escape.

You two go on like that, staring at each other, for God knows how long. It feels like all eternity as much as it feels like only a couple seconds. No matter how long it lasted, Mingi, too soon, breaks the silence.

“I will be right back, I promise.” 

His voice is the sweetest thing you can remember hearing. Though the words themselves are not ones you would’ve wished to hear, they still sounded lovely coming from him. He takes his hand off of your face first, and then withdraws his hand from yours. There is slight relief now that your fingers aren’t being squeezed so tightly, but you still wish that he hadn’t let go. Mingi backs out of your line of sight, and you curse the fact that you aren’t sitting up.

You hear his footsteps recede, as well as the sound of a door sliding open and sliding closed. 

Now that you’re alone, truly alone, you gain almost a surreal sense of yourself. The pain that had been so terrible what felt like mere seconds ago had dulled to a (still painful, but) calm throb. It doesn’t feel so unbearable any longer, and you’re left to ponder the question of where the pain had come from in the first place.

It’s on the tip of your tongue, only more like on the tip of your brain. You can feel it looming in your subconscious like a shark in the ocean, but it just will. not. come. Jesus fuck this is annoying. You squint your eyes in an attempt to dig through your memories, but, try as you might, it keeps slipping from your grasp.

True to his word Mingi returns before you can get too pissed off at your inability to recall the memory. He leans over you once again, and asks if you feel like you can sit up. 

You nod before you really think about it. You have absolutely no idea if you’re well enough to sit up or not, but you couldn’t care less at the moment. You sure hope that someone has been taking the time to turn you so that you haven’t developed any bed sores.

Gently, Mingi places a hand under your head and lifts you in order to move your pillows. In this new position, you have approximately one second to comprehend the company that Mingi had brought back with him, and you’re not fond of it. But, before you can dwell on the view for too long, Mingi lays you back down, letting you know that he has to scootch you and that it may hurt a little bit.

A little bit is an understatement. In order to move you up, he has to grab your torso rather forcefully. One of his hands is entirely too close to that source of your pain, though you rationalize that it must be quite far away in reality. Still, it makes the pain reawaken. You groan involuntarily, your face squeezing in effort to get through the waves. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Mingi says softly, biting his lip in concentration. He rests your back onto the pillows that he had adjusted, leaving you… well, almost sitting up. More like leaning up. You can still see considerably more of the room than you originally had been able to, but you have a sense that your back will begin to ache if you’re left in this position for too long. 

Your back is the least of your concerns, however. The most of them is standing at the foot of your bed, grinning like it’s Christmas morning and you’re the presents under the tree. 

It takes about one second for you to realize that Hongjoong is wearing pajamas. “I’ve never been giddier to have been awoken in the dead of night, (Y/n).” Behind Hongjoong stands the least put-together version of Seonghwa that you’ve ever seen. He’s also in his pajamas, and his hair is sticking out in about fifty different directions. You find it ridiculous that Seonghwa had gotten out of bed to visit you as soon as you woke up, but wherever Hongjoong goes… Seonghwa must follow! Despite his haggard appearance, Seonghwa still stares at you with as much spite as usual. 

Hongjoong moves from his spot at the foot of your bed, coming around to the right side. He reaches out with both of his hands to grab yours, but you quickly pull it away, as if on instinct. His grin doesn’t fail, “Don’t be like that, now. This is a happy occasion!” He catches onto your hand as it hangs in the air, pulling it toward him once more. “You’ve been Chosen, (Y/n), congratulations.” You stare in awe as he brings your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles with a reverence you’ve only ever seen others give him. 

Seonghwa scoffs. As if you want Hongjoong to be kissing your hand right now. You pry your eyes off of Hongjoong to look at him. Seonghwa certainly does not look nearly as thrilled as Hongjoong does. You have a feeling that that man could not care one way or the other if you had lived or died. Honestly, he may have preferred the latter. 

…Hold on. Seonghwa couldn't have cared whether you… lived or died? Where the hell had that thought come from? Had you been close to death? Come to think of it, you must've been. Considering the pain above your heart, the eternity of darkness, and the intense disconnect you had experienced from your body… that must've been the case. But why?

Your eyes fall back to Hongjoong, who is lowering your hand back onto the bed. His gaze flicks up to yours, and it's like a switch flips in your head.

The floodgates open, and you're suddenly remembering details of that night from however long ago. The closet, the story, the food, the… drugs? You must've been drugged. That's the only explanation for the haziness that clouds the rest of the memory. Something else must have happened, you landed yourself in the hospital for Christ's sake. 

You continue to stare at Hongjoong in perplexion as the memories flow back to you. Clearly, you can remember enough to recall that Hongjoong is literally the last person on the entire planet that you want at your bedside. This is his fault, whatever this is. That short bastard.

You must not do the greatest job of hiding your emotions. In your defense, you did just wake up after who knows how long, so controlling your facial expressions is not something that comes as a second nature. “Are you alright?” Hongjoong takes notice of your confusion. “Is something the matter?” 

You can almost hear Seonghwa’s eyes roll. “You act like you didn’t just stab the wretch.” He crosses his arms over his chest, and, if you had been looking, you couldn’t have missed the utter disdain in his eyes.

You imagine that your head and Hongjoong’s turn toward Seonghwa in perfect sync. What did he just say? You quickly turn back to face Hongjoong once more, and you’re surprised to see an entirely new expression on his face. Bewilderment. It’s not very becoming of his image, you decide. “Seonghwa,” He starts, but is quickly cut off.

“Seriously, Hongjoong, is this necessary?” Seonghwa gestures toward Hongjoong’s hand that is still holding yours. “We all went through this, it’s not like she’s special for being Chosen. You don’t have to coddle or congratulate her on anything. This is the bare minimum.”

You definitely cannot help the shock that displays across your features. Has Seonghwa ever spoken to Hongjoong like that? From the look on Hongjoong’s face, you’re willing to bet that he hasn’t. 

Hongjoong is quick to fix his face. As if he had never been shocked in the first place, his attention is quickly back on you. “Don’t take that to heart, (Y/n). It is something worth congratulating. It means that your soul was deemed pure, and that is something very special.” He pats your hand as he says this, smiling all the while. 

Seonghwa scoffs again, and actually turns to leave the room. “I’m going back to bed.”

He slides the door open and silently leaves the room, leaving the door wide open. 

Mingi clears his throat from your left side, and it nearly startles you. You had almost forgotten that he’s also there. “(Y/n) should probably get some more rest, wouldn’t you think, Hongjoong?” He says timidly, looking at yourself rather than at Hongjoong. “I’m sure that you’re tired as well, it is the middle of the night.”

You look from Hongjoong to Mingi, and then back to Hongjoong. Whether Mingi had meant his statements as hints or not, it seems that Hongjoong is going to take them. His smile grows a bit wider, his eyes crinkling into half moons. “How thoughtful of you, Mingi.” He pats your hand once more, stepping away from your side and at last heading toward the door.

Before leaving, however, he turns to look back at you. “Again, (Y/n), congratulations and thank you. I’m not sure what crawled up Seonghwa’s ass and died, but all of us are truly happy with this outcome.” He turns his attention to Mingi. “You should get some rest, too, Mingi. When’s the last time you slept in your own bed?” You peek at Mingi in time to see him flush. “Anyhow, we will speak more in the morning. Goodnight.”

And with that, Hongjoong leaves, shutting the door behind him.

With the party gone, you and Mingi are left alone. When Mingi doesn’t say anything, you elect to speak yourself.

“Wha-” your voice breaks. “What just happened?”

Mingi shrugs his shoulders. “Those two have a strange relationship.”

“Some people might say that we have a strange relationship.”

Mingi considers this for a second. “Maybe. I don’t think we do, though.”

If your chest didn’t hurt so bad, you might giggle. As you have commonly found yourself in the past few… days, you guess, you’re struck by the absurdity of the situation. You followed Mingi to a cult. That seems like a strange enough relationship to you. Also, speaking of absurdity, apparently you had been stabbed! By the looks of things, very close to your heart! And you survived! 

“Mingi,” you start, on a more serious note. “What all… happened? Can you remind me?”

His head tilts to the side in confusion. “You don’t remember what happened?”

You shake your head. While Seonghwa’s little outburst had given you some clarity, you still couldn’t exactly remember. 

“Well, um,” He looks toward the ceiling in what you assume is intent to search through his own memories of the occasion. “What do you remember, exactly?”

You explain to him that you can remember everything up to the end of your meal, but that the rest is too foggy.

“That’s pretty common!” He smiles, “The same thing happened to me, but, don’t worry, the memories will eventually come back! But I’ll still explain a bit. After the Meal, Hongjoong summoned you to him. You kneeled before him, and he completed the Ceremony.”

… And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Mingi answers your question before you can ask it. “As in, like Seonghwa said, he stabbed you above the heart. And you were only out for five days, can you believe it? Your soul must be particularly worthy! That’s probably why Hongjoong is so excited.”

Mingi’s nonchalant manner is almost disturbing. How can he say such twisted ideas in such a calm voice? He even seems excited! Come to think of it… 

“Mingi, Hongjoong… stabbed you? At your own ceremony?” You ask, raising your eyebrows. That’s sure what it seems like, given what Seonghwa had said earlier.

Mingi smiles. “Of course,” he grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls it down to expose the upper left side of his chest. Running across the top, a couple of inches below his collar bone, is a moderately sized, healed scar. It has a raised surface that almost compels you to reach out and touch it, but you control yourself. The scar can’t be much bigger than an inch, but it’s significance is great. Mingi had survived a fucking murder attempt. You had survived a murder attempt. What in the ever loving fuck? “We all must go through the Choosing Ceremony to find the good from the bad.”

Now there is a revelation. “What happens if someone’s… soul… isn’t Chosen?” You ask, afraid that you already know the answer.

“They pass on.”

Of course.

“Have you ever seen someone not get Chosen?”

Mingi nods.

Of course. Not only has Hongjoong killed people, Mingi is an accessory. Isn’t that just the absolute cream of the crop? Isn’t that just the sweetest slice of apple pie? Could this place get any better? Ahahaha. 

You have way too much that you need to think about. There’s been so much information gathered in the few waking moments that you’ve had, and you desperately need time to process it all. You don’t think you can get very far, either, with Mingi staring at you like you’re a miracle on legs.

“When was the last time you slept in your own bed?” You ask him, tilting your head like he had moments ago.

He flushes anew. “Uh, well, it’s been a few days, I guess.” He scratches the back of his neck, looking absolutely anywhere besides your face. “I didn’t want to leave, so that I could be here when you woke up.” 

As touching as this is, of course, you don’t have time to ponder the implications of Mingi staying at your side for five days. That is something that can wait until you process all the other outlandish shit you’ve learned. 

You reach out and grab Mingi’s hand. “Thank you for staying all of this time,” you say softly. “You should really get some rest.” 

Mingi looks a little surprised. “Are you sure? I’m fine with staying here; what if you need something?” There’s a slight disappointment in his tone, and you realize that this is the first time you’ve been alone with Mingi since the little revelation Seonghwa and Hongjoong let you in on. Now is definitely not the time to bring that up (you’re honestly not sure that there will ever be a time for that), but it still bothers you. How could this man, the one that stayed by your side as you were presumably in a coma for five days, have completely disappeared from your life? Willingly? 

As you stare at Mingi’s face, the questions only keep mounting. There’s so much that you wish that you could say; ‘Did you really leave because of me?’ ‘What did I do?’ ‘Did you ever regret leaving?’ ‘How could you stay with me now when you couldn’t so long ago?’ 

Instead, you merely nod your head. “Sleep in your room, I’ll be alright until the morning.”

“If you’re sure.” Mingi shrugs, giving your hand a squeeze. “If you need anything, absolutely anything, yell. Someone is always monitoring the infirmary. I think it’s Nayeon right now.” He turns to look out the door, before realizing that it’s still shut. 

He coughs out a laugh. “I’ll get going then.” But he makes absolutely no move to leave. Rather, he continues staring at you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear. Quickly, so quickly you’re almost left wondering if it actually happened, he leans down and presses a chaste kiss to your cheek. “Goodnight.”

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

After Mingi is gone, there are so many things on your mind that you have no idea where to even begin. Your near death experience is probably the most pressing, but, honestly, the fact that Hongjoong has actually murdered people is also quite concerning (to say the least). 

Are you truly surprised, though? One of the first things Hongjoong ever did was threaten to kill you. It was quite upsetting at the time, of course, but now it’s almost worse. It’s one thing to threaten to kill people; it’s an entirely different thing to actually kill people. This fact raises its own plethora of issues. What did they do to the bodies? How has no one put this together? People disappear to a farm in the middle of nowhere and are never seen again; but it raises no suspicion on behalf of the police? Is this a regular occurrence? How many people have died in pursuit of this fake religion? Were they true believers, or were they just like you?

You honestly have no idea. Honestly, though, are you surprised? No. You’re almost more surprised by the lack of shock that you feel. It’s like your mind is numb when it comes to this place; when it comes to Hongjoong and Seonghwa. You had pretty much expected this, no?

Also disturbing to you is your lack of fear. Is that possible? That you could not be scared? It goes without saying that you’re definitely worried, definitely upset, definitely disturbed… but scared is not the word that you would use. You had survived the ceremony, that has to be the most dangerous part of this place, right?

...Thinking on that for about one more second makes you realize that it is not.

Anyhow, enough on that topic. What the hell is wrong with Seonghwa? It’s a question that you’ve asked yourself before, but he truly was in weird form tonight. He called you a wretch! And was actually helpful for once! He basically defended your pain to Hongjoong (and then did totally discredit it, but whatever). Why had he even come? He clearly had been sleeping. 

Seonghwa is a complete enigma. You still cannot understand what has made him hate you so much. What had you ever done to him? 

Whatever. Why should you care what he thinks of you? You don’t like him, either! 

God, anyways. You turn your attention to five nights ago. Now that Mingi had explained what had happened, you try to dig through your memory to find those specific moments. You get the sense that Mingi had definitely left out some of the details of that night, whether to spare your pride or because he thought they weren’t important. Either way, you’re determined to remember what happened. There’s a lingering feeling that Mingi had left out a huge detail, that something else… important had happened. But what was it?

Considering that you had been stabbed, you realize that you are in a remarkably small amount of pain. This is when you notice the IV stuck in your right elbow. Aha. They’ve still got you on drugs! But, honestly, you feel pretty clear headed. Despite the haziness of the night that landed you here, you, at present, feel pretty mentally sound.

You had, however, just declared to yourself that you’re not afraid of a God honest serial killer, so… maybe not so much.

“Nayeon?” You raise your voice to call out, before really conceptualizing what you’re going to say. You almost just want the knowledge that someone is, in fact, here for you. If you’re drugged out of your mind on painkillers, you’d feel much better knowing that the person drugging you knows what they’re doing. 

Outside of the infirmary door, which Mingi had closed on his way out, you can hear a chair scraping on the tile. The door opens soon after, and a young woman sticks her head into the room.

“Everything alright?” She asks, quite cheerily, you may add, for someone awake in the middle of the night. 

“Yeah, but, uh,” you try to think of something to say. “Could you tell me what kind of pain medicine I’m on?” 

Nayeon slides the door open further and steps into the room, weaving her way to your side. “It’s just IV acetaminophen, Tylenol.” She explains, looking at your IV drip. “This saline bag is nearly empty, let me replace it.” She twists the tube connected at the bottom of the bag, disconnecting your line. 

You sit in silence as you watch her cross the room to a large storage cabinet. “Can I ask you something?” You say as she squats down, searching for more saline.

Without turning to look, she agrees. 

“You were at my Ceremony, I assume?” 

She nods her head.

“Did anything… out of the ordinary happen? Any… strange details? Anything that didn’t happen at yours?” 

For this, she does turn to look back at you. “We aren’t really supposed to talk about it.”

Dejected, you bite your lip. Who are you supposed to get the facts from? Hongjoong would certainly make something up, Mingi is keeping something, and you don’t exactly have other friends here. Maybe Yunho? Seonghwa? Seonghwa would certainly take the opportunity to tease you for anything embarrassing that you had done. 

“But that doesn’t mean I won’t talk about it!” Nayeon giggles from her spot on the floor. She turns back to the cabinet, finding a new bag and quickly making her way back to your side. “It was kinda funny, if I’m being honest.” 

She starts explaining as she replaces the saline. “See, you were clearly on something. That in itself was already funny. If I wasn’t scared of Seonhwa punishing me with cleaning duty or something, I probably would’ve giggled.” Her smile spreads wider across her face as she turns to you. “Not that I’m making fun of you, I promise!” 

“No, I get it, keep going.”

“Okay, so first of all, you could hardly walk, but you were very determined! You had to be helped down to Hongjoong. Like I said, though, you were very determined. You were looking at him like he was the only man left on planet earth, not that I blame you, I mean,” she raises her eyebrows, smirking a little bit. 

Jesus, this is already embarrassing enough. Does it get worse?

“Anyways, you got to him and instantly went to your knees. Which is what you’re supposed to do, but still. You were very compliant! There had been rumors going around that you were quite feisty, so it was a real surprise. Then, he tried asking you how you were, and you just giggled at him.” 

Giggled? You giggled at Hongjoong? What kind of drugs did they put in that food? 

“Of course, then Hongjoong got all dramatic with it. He has quite a flare for this stuff. He leaned in all slow,” she leans close to you as she says this. “And literally made out with you in front of all of us. Which definitely does not happen often. This is where I nearly started laughing for real; I have never seen Seonghwa look like that before.”

“Sorry, what?” Had you just misheard her?

“Yeah, Seonghwa was freaked. Like, he was wearing a mask, but seriously, it was so obvious. I don’t get what his problem is, though. Just because he’s known Hongjoong for so long, he has some claim on him? I say good for you, girl.”

… “I meant the other part, sorry. Hongjoong kissed me?” You ask it as calmly as possible, which is not very calm at all.

She nods, giggling quite exactly like a gossiping high-schooler. “He was very enthusiastic with it, as were you, I might add.”

Fucking hell. 

“Anyways, while this was all going on, Seonghwa was clearly fuming. And, for a second, I thought for sure that he was going to be the one to break the silence, not me. But Hongjoong grabbed the knife pretty soon after, and, yeah, you know the rest. You fainted pretty quickly, but we all clapped for you!”

You blink, trying to form a singular coherent thought. Hongjoong kissed you. And you kissed him back. What in the ever loving of all that is holy fuck. Does this mean that, on some, subconscious level, you’re… attracted to… No. You will not even consider it. Not a possibility. 

While that all in itself is quite concerning, you find your thoughts turning back to Mingi. Why hadn’t he disclosed this fact to you? Had he not wanted to embarrass you? Did he not want to think of it? To be fair, you don’t want to think of it, either. And it probably would’ve been horrible to hear that all from Mingi. He probably would’ve made it some noble, religious thing, and acted like it happens with everyone. But, clearly, it doesn’t.

So why had it happened? Why had Hongjoong kissed you, when he normally doesn’t kiss others? 

And why do you feel so guilty? 

“Um, thanks, Nayeon. That helps.” You awkwardly get out, not entirely sure what to say to her.

She smiles. “Anytime! Do you need anything else? More medicine, maybe? Something to sleep?” 

You shake your head, telling her that you’re alright. Really, you aren’t, but that’s not her issue to deal with. 

She tells you that she’ll be right outside should you need anything else, and then leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

You try to close your eyes to rest, but you know that you will definitely not be getting any sleep after that. What. The. Fuck.

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THE ANSWER: XVI

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’ pairing: ateez x fem reader genre: cult au, thriller, angst check warnings on AO3

← previous || next → || masterlist chapter word count: 6,055

As it turns out, you were able to fall asleep again. 

At least, that’s your assumption when you find yourself waking up the next morning. Though you hadn’t previously seen it, there’s a window on the far wall of the infirmary letting in a stream of fresh morning sun. 

On instinct, you reach your arms out to stretch. Horrible idea. As soon as your left arm extends one millimeter outward, a shooting pain stings through your chest. You feel a tug on what you imagine is your bandaged wound, nearly making you whisper a prayer that it hadn’t pulled open. Though you immediately dropped your arm, the pain continues to throb it’s way throughout your chest, readily making itself known. 

What a great way to start the morning. 

You’re not as disorientated as you remember being when you woke up last night, but it still takes a few moments for everything to come back to you. It’s easy to recall the basics of your situation. Farm. Cult. Hongjoong. The usual. Some of the… finer details you had learned only last night take just a few seconds of pondering, but they quickly are recalled as well. 

Though you can’t actually remember kissing Hongjoong… you can remember being told that it happened. Your face squeezes in embarrassment at the thought. What the fuck. Why had you done th- no, better question: why had Hongjoong done that. He was the one that was sober, not you. It isn’t that hard to piece together, you suppose. Hongjoong is a power-hungry psychopath, he thrives off of manipulating people; you are no exception. Ugh, yuck.

That all being said, you’re just a smidgen upset that you can’t actually recall the memory. Not that you want to know what it was like, of course, it would just make things a lot simpler if you remembered the entirety of the night (including the unfortunate parts). It would make things a lot easier to analyze. But, maybe it’s a blessing that you can’t remember it, like, come on, do you really want to remember what kissing Hongjoong was like…? 

No. Gross. 

You shake your head to try and rid yourself of the thought. There were much more pressing discoveries made last night than the fact that Hongjoong kissed you. First of all, Hongjoong apparently stabs (and kills) people on a regular basis! Which makes him kissing you so much wo- stop. Do not think about it.

Anyhow, what the fuck? While you had pondered a few questions why you were falling asleep, that seems like it was so long ago already. How has no one put together the disappearances with the farm? If people are initiated or whatever on a somewhat regular basis… and sometimes they die… shouldn’t the police be somewhat on top of this? Honestly, the disappearances alone should be enough to make them suspicious, but the murders? Truly the icing on the cake.

Anxiety pools in your stomach. This is serious. Deadly fucking serious. This is real life. You are trapped on a farm in the middle of goddamn nowhere with a manipulative psychopath and his devoted followers. And your college best friend. Can’t forget about the reason that you came here in the first place.

You sigh. Do you regret coming for Mingi? As much as you hate the situation, and as much pain as you are in after surviving a genuine murder attempt… no. Especially not now that you know what he’s been through. And the fact that he only came here to get away from you, apparently. So, in a round-about way, its your own fault that you ended up in this situation.

God, your chest hurts. And not in a metaphorical way, either. It aches with the strain you put on it while stretching. Are you still getting pain killers? It sure doesn’t feel like it…

You turn your head to check the status of the bags attached to your IV. The bag labeled “SALINE” still looks quite full… but the other is suspiciously empty.

You wonder whether or not the person outside of the room is still Nayeon. Probably not. If she has the night shift, someone else probably takes care of the day shift. Hmmm…

For a moment, you contemplate calling for someone, but the need evaporates as the door slides open and Mingi pokes his head in. 

There’s a pang in your chest the moment that you realize its him, but you can’t tell whether it’s genuine pain or something else. Before you can think on it too long, Mingi slides the door open the rest of the way and is quick to come to your side.

“How long have you been awake?” He asks, “I’m sorry, I should’ve been here when you woke up.”

You shake your head, clearing your throat before trying to speak. “No, no, it’s completely fine. I’ve only been awake for…” you search your mind for a sense of the time. It doesn’t come very easily… interesting. “Maybe five minutes?”

A sad smile crosses Mingi’s face. “Still.”

Not quite sure how to respond to that, you allow a silence to fall between the two of you. You move to sit up a bit higher to adjust your position, failing to remember your injured left half. As soon as you put weight on your right arm, the pain in your chest intensifies, and a gasp escapes from you as you shift your weight on reflex.

“Hey!” Mingi’s arms immediately shoot out to stabilize your body, his right hand catching your left arm and relieving the pressure off of your side. His left hand catches you at the waist, stopping you from moving any further. “You have to be more careful!”

Under any other circumstances, you would ask if he thinks that he’s your mom. Under these, however, you sigh. “Thank you for catching me.” You look at his hand holding onto your forearm and are nearly shocked at the strength supporting it. He’s holding essentially a fourth of your bodyweight in one hand, something he most certainly would not have been able to do when you two were still in school. “Can you help me sit up more?”

Mingi squints at you. “If you promise to not try and move after I do.” He doesn’t wait for your reply before using his hand at your waist to scootch you further back into a sitting position. 

“Thanks,” you say, waiting for him to move now that you’ve been stabilized. But… he doesn’t.

“Do you feel okay?” He asks, looking intently over your face.

Seriously, what is with people asking you that question? Clearly, you are not okay. Have you been okay for even one second since you stepped foot on this farm? No!

But you know that Mingi genuinely means it. “Well, my chest hurts.” You glance up at the empty bag of acetaminophen.

Mingi’s eyes follow your gaze, and that’s when he releases his grasp on you. He springs backward, pointing at the empty bag. “I will be back in two seconds, promise.”

Mingi disappears out the door at speeds faster than you can ever recall seeing him move in the past. Huh. True to his word, he returns in mere moments, dragging a person that you’re unfamiliar with with him.

“Come on, Seungmin, really,” Mingi gestures to your IV, “Why doesn’t she have any pain management? Do you not remember how much pain you were in when you were Chosen?” He drops his grip on, apparently, Seungmin as they approach your side.

Seungmin gives Mingi some minor side-eye. “Yes, I remember, Mingi.” He moves to go to the same cabinet that Nayeon had searched through last night. “I also took care of you after you were Chosen, if you might remember.”

Mingi rolls his eyes from your side. “Exactly, which included giving me painkillers when I needed them. Can you not do the same for (Y/n)?” 

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Seungmin turns from the cabinet to glare back at Mingi. You can’t tell if they’re actually arguing or if this is some elaborate mean friendship that they have, and frankly you don’t really care. You just know that, the more its talked about, the more your chest aches. 

Seungmin comes back to your side, gripping another bag of (presumably) acetaminophen. “I’m sorry the drip is empty, (Y/n), Nayeon and I switched shifts only a few minutes ago, and she was sleeping when I got here.” He explains, unhooking your line from the previous bag and attaching the new one. “All better.” He glares at Mingi, “Need anything else?” He asks Mingi more than he asks you.

Mingi looks curiously over to you, and you shake your head. “Then I’ll be right outside if you need me.” Seungmin leaves the room, not closing the door behind him.

“That kid drives me crazy,” Mingi crosses his arms, “Is he even old enough to have learned how to take care of sick people? I really don’t think so.”

He did look quite young, in Mingi’s defence. “Do you actually not like him?”

“I didn’t feel one way or another until he left you without treatment, even if only for a few minutes.”

… “It’s fine, Mingi.”

He looks over at you, arms still crossed. “No, it’s not. You’re in pain. And today is important.”

Important? “Why is that?”

“Hongjoong and the others are going to come by and decide where you should work! That is a very important decision! And I’d rather that you were not in pain while it happened.”

And that is very important… why?

But you don’t ask that. Instead, “The others…?”

“Do you remember those people we met the first day you were here? When we went on a tour?” Your expression answers his question. “Uh, Jongho, Yeosang, Wooyoung, and San?”

Ah, there you go. How could you forget? “And Hongjoong and Seonghwa will be there, too. And me. And I guess anyone else that wants to come.”

“They’re coming here?” You ask, wondering if all of these people will be able to comfortably fit in the room without crowding each other.

Mingi nods, lifting his wrist to check his watch. “In only a couple minutes, actually.”

What? How did they even know that you would be awake? Wonderful. This is something that you probably would have liked to prepare for more, but you guess that going into it completely blind could have its benefits as well. Somehow. Maybe.

For the first time, you’re suddenly aware of what you’re wearing. And it’s definitely not that freaky ass outfit Seonghwa made you put on. Instead, it’s the pajamas that you packed with you. The very same pajamas that Seonghwa had teased you about. Lovely. Who dressed you? Who went into your room? 

You don’t know what you want the answer to those questions to be. On one hand, do you trust anyone here to see you in your underwear? On the other hand, do you want to think that it was Mingi that saw you in your underwear? Not quite. Maybe it was Nayeon. She was nice enough. 

Anyways, that is information to be concerned about another time. For now, you need to focus on what is about to happen. You do suppose that the job you’re assigned will have quite an effect on the things that you are allowed to do… so it is an important decision. Will you get any say in it, you wonder?

The silence in your room is soon broken by the sound of a group moving toward it. That was quick.

Seungmin hadn’t shut the door behind him, so the group is able to simply stride right in. 

Hongjoong and Seonghwa take up the lead, talking amongst themselves. Seonghwa sure seems to be in better spirits this morning (not that you care), and Hongjoong seems to be over any outburst that Seonghwa had had.

Following behind them is the group that Mingi had prepared you for. Wooyoung, who you have interacted with quite a lot by this point; San, who you’re still slightly bitter with; and Yeosang and Jongho, both of whom you really have no opinion of.

And there is one surprise guest, Yunho. “What are you doing here?” Mingi asks Yunho when he sees him, a confused look on his face.

Yunho frowns. “I wanted to see that (Y/n) was really awake so that I could stop worrying about you.” He peeks over at you. “Congratulations on being Chosen, by the way!”

You’re left to ponder that sentence while you wait for everyone to find a spot to stand in the room. He wanted to make sure… that you were awake… so that he could stop worrying about… Mingi…? Does that make sense?

Hongjoong claps his hands together, bringing your attention (as well as everyone else’s) to him in a second. “Good morning, (Y/n).” He smiles, “Has Mingi told you what we are going to talk about today?” Hongjoong looks between you and Mingi, who is still standing at your side.

“Uh,” you start, “my job.”

Hongjoong nods his head. “Exactly! It’s always fun to do job assignments, right, Seonghwa?” His gaze shifts to the man at his left. Seonghwa looks about as thrilled to see you as he ever has.

“Very fun.” He deadpans.

Hongjoong gestures to the others in the room, “Why don’t you all introduce yourselves and your positions for (Y/n)?”

“We’ve all met her already.” Jongho says, not bothering to look at you from his spot to your left. His arms are crossed and you’re once again struck by the size of his biceps.

Hongjoong gives a less than genuine smile. “I am well aware, Jongho, but let's recap for her, shall we?”

Jongho lets out a sigh. Clearly, someone besides Seonghwa is also not pleased to be here. “I’m Jongho. I’m in charge of the farms.”

San is standing to Jongho’s left, and he goes next. “Good to see you again, (Y/n).” He smiles, “I’m San and I’m in an administrative role.”

Next to San is Hongjoong, and next to Hongjoong is Seonghwa, so the introductions skip to Yeosang.

“Yeah, good to see you. I’m Yeosang and… I guess you would call me a mechanic.”

Wooyoung is last. “You know me, I’m in charge of the kitchens.”

You offer an awkward smile to each man as they move down the line. What an odd bunch of people to be running a cult, no? You wonder how many of them genuinely believe what Hongjoong is telling them, but you quickly stop thinking about it. Probably each and every one of them. Otherwise, wouldn’t they just leave? It seems to you like they would each have the means to escape if they wanted to… and yet they don’t. So they must be devoted.

Or also Hongjoong’s level of insane, which is much less comforting.

“Thank you,” Hongjoong says, glancing at Jongho, “Was that so hard?”

Jongho opens his mouth to reply, but must think better of it. A tiny smirk graces Hongjoong’s face for a moment before it quickly evaporates, leaving only his usual smile. “Well, who needs a worker?”

“I don’t.” Jongho says almost as soon as Hongjoong asks the question. 

Sheesh. What did you ever do to him?

“Yeah, uh, I don’t really either.” Yeosang gives you a sheepish smile. 

San looks at Wooyoung. “Well, I could take her.” He pauses, looking at Hongjoong. “If you think that’s a good idea.”

Hongjoong shakes his head. “No, probably not for now. Maybe in a couple of months.” Hongjoong winks at you. “Wooyoung,” he turns, “do you need anyone? Or, better question, do you have room for another?”

Wooyoung smiles at Hongjoong, “I don’t see why not!”

Hongjoong looks to you for your approval, “Is that alright with you?”

If you’re being honest, being in the kitchens is probably the place that you would enjoy the most. You are a barista, afterall.

Hold on.

You’re a barista. 

Your job. Your boss. 

You must’ve been reported missing by now. They have to be looking for you. If you really had been out for five days… There's no way your disappearance has escaped anyone’s perception. The police have to be looking for you. Haseul and Jungeun know where you went, at least somewhat. 

But that does raise the question… where are the police? There can’t be that many commune style farms in this general area, right? Surely if Haseul or Jungeun told the police that you went looking for Mingi, whom they (or at least Juneun) knew was living on a commune, there wouldn’t be that many possibilities for where you could be. 

Well fuck. If they’re not here by now, can you really keep believing that they will come? The logical part of you would say no; but now is definitely not the time for logic. This entire situation is against any sort of logic. It isn’t logical to be trapped on a farm with a cult; and yet here you are. Crazier things can happen than it taking a few days for cops to spring into action.

Of course, you have already run circles around this idea. It’s quite possible that they will never come, because it’s quite possible that someone is misleading your friends and family into thinking that you’re okay. You can nearly feel your eye twitch at the memory of giving San your phone so easily.

Mingi pokes your arm, startling out of your thoughts. “(Y/n)?”

“Oh,” you shake your head a bit to clear your previous train of thought. “I guess.”

“Great,” Jongho says, looking at Hongjoong, “Can I leave?” Hongjoong waves his hand, ushering Jongho to go. He quickly takes heed of Hongjoong’s action and leaves about as fast as possible. Seriously, what’s his problem?

As if Jongho had never been there at all, Hongjoong doesn’t skip a beat. “Typically the Chosen only stay in the clinic for a few days after they wake up,” he glances at Mingi, “but something tells me you’ll take a little longer to get on your feet.”

Mingi looks between you and Hongjoong. “Why are you looking at me?”

Seonghwa rolls his eyes at Mingi’s question, and seemingly really sees you for the first time since he entered the room. His eyes land on your torso, smirking as he realizes what you’re wearing. “Nice to see you in those cute pajamas again, princess.”

You frown at him, neglecting to give him the response that you know he’s looking for. Instead, you look over to see Mingi’s reaction to your nickname. His mouth is slightly agape, like he’s trying to think of something to say, but can’t quite grasp a response. 

Not wanting Mingi to say something that he might regret, you jump in. “I’m surprised you remember them.”

Seonghwa raises his eyebrows. “How could I forget that wonderful night we had?”

That gives you pause. Why did he have to say it like that? Your face scrunches in disgust as a smile spreads across Seonghwa’s face. You hazard a glance toward Mingi again and are not surprised to see that he looks even more flustered, his eyes wide as he stares at Seonghwa. Yunho wears a very similar expression, except he’s looking at you rather than Seonghwa. 

Yeosang clears his throat from the other side of the room, but it sounds more like a choked laugh. “Sorry, sorry,” he starts, bringing a hand up to pat his chest a bit, “frog in my throat. Excuse me.” Yeosang continues hitting his chest and poorly attempting to cover his laughter with coughs as he leaves the room. 

Wooyoung doesn’t seem to be as privy to the joke. “Uh, yeah. I should probably get to preparing lunch.” He looks expectantly around the room, as if waiting for someone to tell him to not leave. “Well, I’m looking forward to working with you, (Y/n)!”

Wooyoung grabs Yunho’s arm as he walks past him, pulling the larger man out with him. Yunho waves to you as he disappears around the corner with Wooyoung.

San, who has been very quiet during this entire encounter, suddenly seems to be very aware of the situation. “I’ll get going then, too.” He smiles at you once more. “Like I said, good to see you again, (Y/n).” 

San leaves, leaving only Mingi, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and yourself. Seonghwa is still smirking at you, Mingi still looks incredibly flustered, and Hongjoong is… well, Hongjoong. Smiling his same, creepy little smile. He clears his throat a tiny bit, looking between Seonghwa and Mingi. “Would you two mind giving (Y/n) and I a few minutes alone?”

The smirk quickly falls off of Seonghwa’s face as he pries his eyes off of you in order to look at Hongjoong. The question seems to shock Mingi out of his stupor, however, as his expression goes neutral and he looks over at you. 

You want to shake your head. You don’t want to be left alone with Hongjoong, not for one single second. The mere thought makes anxiety start to pump through your veins. But, before you can communicate any of this to Mingi, he’s letting you know that he’ll just be outside if you need him. 

Seonghwa follows Mingi out as he goes, looking rather conflicted as he does. You want to say something, anything, that will keep one of them from leaving the room. But you can’t get anything out, and Seonghwa slides the door shut behind him, leaving you and Hongjoong completely alone. You continue staring at the closed door, not wanting to acknowledge the new situation that you’ve found yourself in.

Hongjoong moves from his spot at the end of your bed, coming into your field of vision and completely blocking the door so that you’re forced to look at him. His expression hasn’t changed from his usual, cool smile. He takes a couple steps closer to you, resting his hands on the rail support of the bed. “Please, (Y/n),” he begins, bending so that his face is level with your own. “Tell me how you’re really feeling.”

You blink. About a thousand possible responses run through your head. If he wants honesty… “Pretty shitty.”

Hongjoong’s eyebrows squeeze in confusion. “And why is that?”

Once again, you blink at him. What does he want you to say? “Where should I start?” You resist the urge to spit on him, despite him being close enough for you to reach. “For starters, I’m being held hostage by a cult led by some psychopath,” Hongjoong bites his lip to restrain a smile, “that tried to kill me.”

Hongjoong clicks his tongue, shaking his head. “I wasn’t trying to kill you; if I had, you would be dead.” He establishes eye contact with you. “Why would I want to kill you?”

Again, another question that seems very obvious to you. It’s clear that he’s just playing with you, wanting you to say the things that he so desperately needs to hear, apparently. What a stupid game, one that you do not want to play. “Listen, Hongjoong, I don’t know how insane you really are; as in, I don’t know how much of this bullshit you’ve actually convinced yourself is true, but you must know that stabbing someone typically means that you want them dead.”

Hongjoong rolls his eyes. “Come on, (Y/n), aren’t you smarter than that?” He tilts his head to the side, giving you a curious look. “You have to realize that I can’t play favorites, even if I have them.”

What the fuck kind of thing to say is that?

“I can’t treat you any differently than anyone else, that’s not how this all works. You simply have to trust me, (Y/n), you would be dead if I had wanted you to be.” He reestablishes his smile. “You get to know where to aim.” He chuckles. “Anyhow,” he returns himself to his full height, taking his hands off of your bed. “Do you remember?”

You have a feeling you know what he’s referring to, but you’re not going to be the one to say it. “Remember what?”

If you had had the chance to be relieved by the distance he put between you two, Hongjoong quickly took it away. He swoops back in until he’s only inches away from your face, and you’re left having to lean as far back into the wall as possible (which is not very far). He brings his hand up, placing it under your chin and forcing you to look up at him. “Need a refresher?”

You jerk your chin out of his grasp, but he quickly reestablishes his hold. “No, I do not.”

“So you do remember?”

Well, not quite. “I was informed that you kissed me, but I don’t remember it happening.”

Hongjoong’s smile grows. “You were informed wrong, dear.” He pokes your arm with his free hand. “You kissed me.” 

You squint at him, attempting to make the most disgusted face that you can. “I did not. You drugged me.”

He contemplates this statement for a second. “Technically it was Wooyoung that drugged you.” You roll your eyes at that one. “And I can confidently say that you initiated that exchange.”

The urge to start a ‘did not’ ‘did too’ argument is strong, but you ignore it. “Either way, Hongjoong, I was drugged. Meaning I was not in my right mind.”

“What do they say about drunk actions? That they’re sober thoughts?” He casts a quick glimpse to your lips, smiling all the while before returning his eyes to yours. “You’re not leaving anytime soon, (Y/n), might as well enjoy yourself.”

As if he had never been close to you at all, he releases you and quickly takes a few strides back. “There’s nothing wrong with finding me attractive. Everyone does. When you’re able to admit it to yourself, let me know.” 

Hongjoong leaves you with one final wink before sliding the door open and making a quick exit.

What the fuck was that? You know that he was just playing with you, but seriously, what? You? Kissing him? Preposterous. You finding him attractive? Even funnier. 

… Anyways.

Before you can think on that whole exchange for too long, another person is poking their head into your room. Expecting it to be Mingi, you let yourself relax, squeezing your eyes shut with a groan. 

“Don’t be like that, princess.”

Your eyes snap open and you’re immediately at attention once more. Seonghwa shuts the door behind him as he makes his way into the room once again. He stops shy of where Hongjoong had stood, and you’re grateful for the distance he keeps. That man has manhandled you enough for your entire lifetime. “What do you want?”

A small smile graces Seonghwa’s features, but it’s anything but nice. “What do I want?” He crosses his arms behind his back, pretending to ponder your question. “I want you,” he leaves a bit of a dramatically long pause as if he could trick you into thinking that’s what he was going to say, “to stay away from Hongjoong.”

You don’t hesitate to respond. “Gladly. Give me my car keys.”

Seonghwa sucks in a breath. “You are funny, princess, but you know that’s not what I meant.” He pauses again, making you wonder what you’re supposed to say before he starts speaking again. “See, when this situation has happened in the past, and, trust me, it has, I’ve normally just disposed of the issue my own way.” Seonghwa smiles to himself. “And Hongjoong always moves on fairly quickly. But I have the strange feeling that this would be different. So I’m simply warning you now.”

As little as you want to do with Hongjoong, this possessiveness is kind of pretentiously annoying. Who is Seonghwa to tell you what to do? ‘Stay away from him?’ Is this a K-drama? “And what if I don’t?” You ask, simply to see his reaction.

“If you don’t,” Seonghwa takes a step closer to your bed, “I will take care of it. Hongjoong would forgive me eventually. Everyone makes mistakes.”

Oh, he’s serious. 

“So, princess,” he smiles at you with as much malice as you think he can muster, “do you understand?”

Not wanting to speak out of the mild fear that your voice might crack, you nod in response to his question.

“What a good girl.” Seonghwa turns to begin making his way to the door before pausing, “It’s in your best interests to not share this conversation with anyone else, but to remember it clearly.” With that, he leaves.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

The next couple of days go by without a fuss. 

Your chest is starting to feel better, and Seungmin and Nayeon agree that you’re alright to leave the infirmary whenever you’re ready. They’ve had you up and walking around, as well as weaning you off of your Tylenol. 

As much as you don’t want to even pretend to cooperate with the situation, you are starting to get quite bored with staying in bed all day. The thought of escape is, of course, also quite compelling. You probably would have very little chance of escaping from this clinic room, so you will have to leave eventually. 

Really the only thing that’s been keeping you from saying you’re ready to go for the past couple days is, well, Mingi. He watches you like you’re made of glass and hardly ever lets you leave his sight. He barely leaves you for his meals (and to collect yours), and often makes himself comfortable on the floor of the infirmary. His working obligations seem to have fallen by the wayside, with him mumbling something about Yunho on the occasions when you have asked if he should be working. 

Why he’s acting like you’re going to die any second is beyond you. Unless he knows something you don’t, which you suppose wouldn’t be that implausible, his behavior is almost entirely inexplicable. Sure, you guys were best friends. Sure, there might have (emphasis on the might) been something there. But that was all months ago, and this is the same man that supposedly joined a cult for the express purpose of leaving you behind. 

Honestly, his behavior since your arrival has been, well, erratic and nearly inexplicable. When you arrived, he hugged you and it seemed that he was happy you were there. You two had time together at the bonfire, time that really felt good. Mingi seemed to be himself. But the entire second day had been… off. When you had thought that you would be leaving, he had a complete and total meltdown. 

It brings a lump in your throat just thinking about the way that he was clinging onto your waist, begging you to stay.

Was that really the behavior of your Mingi? With the trauma that he’s been through, you suppose that the extreme reliance on some semblance of his past life makes sense; but you’ve yet to have a mental break like it seems he has. What happened that made Mingi change? 

God, this makes your head hurt. There’s too many questions that will probably never be answered. You can’t very well ask Mingi to tell you about something that he’s probably repressed. You couldn’t bring yourself to make him relive anything that could hurt him, but the curiosity is painful. Even asking Mingi basic questions could bring the risk of upsetting him majorly, which is not something that you will risk putting him through. 

This all is way too fucking complicated. When did everything go so wrong? Was it when Mingi left? When you graduated and couldn’t get a job? When that man had told you his name was Mingi? When you decided to search for Mingi? When you found him? When you decided to go? What’s the furthest back decision that could be to blame for all of this mess? Why had he even left in the first place? None of it makes sense.

Thankfully, a knock at the door of the infirmary stops you from thinking about it any further. Before you respond, the guest invites themselves in and you’re not surprised to see Mingi’s smiling face poke through the door. “Good morning!” He balances a tray in his hand as he shuts the door. “I brought breakfast!”

You smile, happy that he’s in good spirits as it is right now. That’s all you can really hope for; that Mingi stays happy and safe. If one can really be safe in this situation remains to be seen, but you figure that Mingi will be alright barring any terrible turn of events. 

Mingi quickly is at your side, placing the tray into your lap and lingering at your bedside. You thank him for bringing you breakfast, which he is quick to brush off as nothing.

“What are your plans for the day?” You ask him as you start eating, though you essentially know what his answer will be.

Mingi shrugs. “Nothing, really. Is there something that you want to do?”

“Well,” you start, not entirely sure if you want to go ahead with your idea. You pause for a few seconds before deciding that you will simply lose your mind if you stay in this infirmary for even one more day. “I think I’m ready to start working.”

The smile quickly falls from Mingi’s face. You watch as he considers the idea in his mind, his face ever so slightly changing with every new thought you can imagine him having. Finally, his face lands on a very neutral expression. “Are you sure that you’re ready? You feel good enough?” He is clearly genuine in his questions.

You nod, “I’m getting a little stir-crazy, honestly.” Though you mean it seriously, you smile for Mingi’s sake.

Mingi returns your smile. “If you’re sure that you feel up to it, I’ll tell Wooyoung.”

“I definitely am, and Nayeon and Seungmin agree that I am good to go whenever.”

Mingi chuckles a bit, “Yeah, I know. They told me a couple days ago…” He watches your eyebrows twist in confusion, “But I didn’t want to rush you! And you being sick here is a great excuse for me to dump my work on Yunho.” He shrugs, bringing his hands up in a dramatic gesture.

You laugh and Mingi joins you. It’s one of the best laughs that you’ve had in a while, not that that’s really saying much, but it brings you some comfort. Mingi is still Mingi, even if he is a little different. He can still make you laugh and can still make you feel better.

You finish up your breakfast as Mingi tells you about the work that’s being done on the farm, not that he knows all the exact details. Essentially some of the earliest planted crops are beginning to be harvested, but the entire farm still has a bit to go before it’s ready. The livestock are beginning to grow their winter coats as the days get colder and shorter. 

Honestly, you would have never pegged your Mingi as a farmer, but he seems to have a real passion for it now. As terrible as everything around the two of you is, you’re happy that he is able to find simple pleasures out of something so daily and routine as corn and pigs. It’s actually kind of heartwarming for you to watch the twinkle in his eyes as he talks about the farm at large. He seems to be so proud of everything that he has done in participation. 

It makes you wonder if you will have the same sense of accomplishment, but you quickly decide that you won’t. That feeling of accomplishment is the same as the feeling of complacency, and you will never be complacent here. Not if you can help it. 

Once you’re finished, Mingi gathers your tray and leaves, promising to let Wooyoung know of your decision.

While you’re slightly nervous about leaving the (minor) comforts of the infirmary and taking on responsibilities with unknown consequences, you feel good about your decision. Getting out of this room is perhaps the first step to getting the hell off of this farm. 

Which begs the question, how do you plan on escaping? 

← previous || next → || masterlist

THE ANSWER: VII

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’ pairing: ateez x fem reader genre: cult au, thriller, angst check warnings on AO3

← previous || next → || masterlist chapter word count: 3,304

With that, the three of you make your way back outside.

While you’re happy that you’ve been offered a tour, really the only thing you want to focus on right now is Mingi. Afterall, he is the only reason you had come; and you really don’t think you need a tour of a place where you would be spending hardly two days of your life. On the walk back, San leads the way, leaving you and Mingi to walk shoulder to shoulder.

Not wanting to freak him out, you try to keep your staring to a minimum. This, however, is extremely difficult. Mingi looks pretty much exactly as you remember him. You’ll have to remember to ask him how he keeps his hair dyed that vibrant red in the middle of a farm that supposedly has no outside contact. He’s as handsome as ever, his skin tanned a few shades darker than in the last photo you had seen of him. It must be all the outdoor work. He’s dressed just about the same as everyone else you’ve seen (with the exception of Seonghwa, of course). 

He’s wearing blue jeans and a white button-up, complete with a pair of black suspenders. His collar is decorated just as San’s is, with that same little symbol. The realization makes you uneasy. San’s proclamation as the symbol as the ‘Sign of the Answer’ really is not sitting well with you. Along with the fact that literally every single other person you had cared to look at was also wearing one. It does not seem normal. It almost gave you religious vibes, which is absolutely not what you want to have gotten yourself into. 

Disregarding the hourglass, Mingi looks perfectly himself. Granted, he is acting a little awkward next to you. He’s standing probably a foot away from you, when your Mingi used to give you piggyback rides to class. No matter how many weird looks or jealous stares the two of you got, he would never deny your request for a ride. Now, he’s acting like you two have never met.

Occasionally, you glance over and catch him looking at you. Each time, he quickly whips his head back forward, facing San’s back. From the glimpses of his face, he really looks… well, confused. You have absolutely no idea why he’s acting so strange, or why he seems confused. Your dread only continues to build.

Once you’re all back outside, San turns back to you two and claps Mingi on the back. “What should we show her first?”

Mingi looks startled by the fact that he’s been asked a question. He looks at San like he just told him that ghosts are real, his eyes going wide and his eyebrows shooting up. “Uh,” he mumbles, looking around. “Maybe the ch-”

“The animal barn! Why didn’t I think of that?” San exclaims over Mingi, startling the poor man even further. Gazing out past them, you take in the layout of the farm more closely. There’s the large building behind you, another decently sized one to the left, facing directly towards the road, two barns next to each other, one behind the other (you wouldn’t know there was two from this angle, but you knew from the drive in), a small building directly across the path from the building behind you, and a few scattered sheds.

San notices your account, smiling, “Don’t worry, you’ll get to see everything!”

An awkward smile is all you can muster in response. To be honest, you really do not care to see everything. You just want to talk to Mingi. But San starts off across the path, making his way toward the barns. 

You and Mingi follow, and it really isn’t all that far of a walk. It hardly takes you two minutes to be standing between the two barns. Their entrances face each other, the doors swung wide open, giving you a pretty good view of the interior of both barns. The one to your left looks like an equipment barn, while the one to your right has the unmistakable smell of an animal barn. 

San looks to make sure that you two are still behind him, and waves you excitedly towards the entrance of the animal barn. For a moment, you take stock of your life. Is going into this disgusting animal barn really worth it? From what you can see now, probably not. The floor is nasty, the odor is unmistakably animal, and really, this is not what you had agreed to. 

Unfortunately, San and Mingi just go straight on in, leaving you with only one real option. You follow them in. To the right, the first thing you spot are horse pens. While there’s a considerably long row of pens, there are only three that are populated. Taking it all in, you realize that there are actually a lot of empty pens. To the left, there seems to be an indoor chicken coop. At least, that’s what it sounds like. And there really doesn’t seem to be that much else, in the case of animal inhabitants.

Further into the barn, you can see a couple people hauling hay bales. They’re too far away to really get a good look at them, but San has your back.

“Hey! Wooyoung, Jongho! Come here!” He calls out to them, beckoning them to join you guys near the front of the barn.

The two start making their way over to you three, and you remain awkwardly planted to your spot. How many people were you going to be introduced to today? Again, Mingi was truly the only person you cared about on this entire farm. Whatever, you just hope that Mingi and you will have some alone time, and soon. You’re dying to ask him so many things. 

Wooyoung and Jongho reach you three, one of them smiling widely at you and the other merely glancing at you. “Is this (Y/n)?” The smiling one asks, looking between San and Mingi. “It’s so great to meet you, welcome! I’m Wooyoung.” He sticks his hand out to you.

You respond in the affirmative, taking his hand and shaking it while taking him in. He’s also not very tall. His hair is dyed a dark blue, so dark that you can really only see the color when the light hits it right. He’s dressed in nice clothes, nicer than you would expect from someone throwing hay. Similarly to Mingi, he’s wearing just a plain button-up, the sleeves rolled to just below his elbows. His skin is glistening at the brow, slightly damp. As to be expected by the point, you spot the hourglass on his collar.

San takes in the exchange, piping up once you two finish shaking hands. “Wooyoung is in charge of all our meals! He runs the kitchens.” Wooyoung shyly grins, scoffing a bit. “And this ray of sunshine is Jongho, who is our lead farmer.” San gestures to the other man, who gives him a bit of a sarcastic smile. 

“Nice to meet you.” He says flatly, also reaching his hand out for yours. Again, you take the opportunity to take him in. In the nicest way possible, he looks like a farmer. From what you can see, he looks incredibly strong. His frame is sturdy, and his grip on your hand is almost enough to crush your fingers. Similarly to Mingi, his hair is dyed bright red. His skin is tanned, and he’s dressed entirely in work clothes, from cargo khakis to a moisture absorbing t-shirt. You can’t exactly help noticing how well it clings to his torso, accentuating the tone of his body. 

He must catch you looking, because he’s smirking when you look back up to his face. He scoffs, dropping your hand and crossing his arms in front of him. Embarrassed, you mutter a greeting to him as well. 

“If you don’t mind, San, we’re in the middle of something.” Jongho turns and gestures to the giant stack of hay that remains in the back of the barn. 

San shakes his head, “No problem at all, just thought I’d introduce you to the newbie!”

With that, Jongho turns and starts walking back. Wooyoung smiles again at you, reaching out to pat your shoulder a couple times. “Welcome again.” He jogs away to catch up with Jongho, saying something you can’t quite make out.

Wooyoung’s goodbye makes you pause for a second. Come to think of it, so had the way San said goodbye to the two of them. The newbie? Welcome? They were almost making it sound like you were going to be staying. To some extent, you were, but only for a night. Why were you even getting a tour and being introduced to people, anyways? It seemed, quite literally, useless.

Mingi pulls you out of your thoughts by grabbing your hand. Seemingly, he’s suddenly gotten over the awkwardness between you two. He points to the horses and drags you to them, stopping in front of the first horse. He excitedly tells you their names; ‘Spud,’ ‘Carol,’ and ‘Baby.’ They’re all quite tall, beautiful horses. They must all be related, for they all share the same, shiny brown coat. “They’re all draft horses, for doing farm work.”

He then pulls you to the chickens, and his behavior is starting to remind you of whenever you two would go exploring anywhere together. Once, for some ecology class he was taking, Mingi had been tasked with going to an aquarium for homework. Of course, he had brought you along and two made a day of it. You can still remember how his favorite part had been the shallow pool, where you could put your hands in and touch the creatures. Everytime a tiny stingray would pass by, he would stick his hand in, only to pull it out at the last second, squealing about how he was scared. He had looked at you with his big eyes and asked you to do it with him, saying it would give him confidence. You stuck your pinky out to him, telling him to grab on. You locked pinkies and waited. The next time one of the fish came around, you submerged your hands together, pinkies clenched. Mingi had tried to pull his hand out, but, with you anchoring him in, he ended up stroking the skin of the stingray. He had immediately started giggling and, as soon as your hands left the water, he asked to do it again. 

But that was then. Now, Mingi is holding a chicken up to you as it jerks in his hands, trying to free itself. He’s presenting it to you like you’ve never seen a chicken before, telling you to look at how skinny it is under the poof of its feathers (while simultaneously smooshing down its feathers on one side of its body). Farm boy Mingi had never been something you imagined, but, clearly, the farm life was suiting him well. 

Once Mingi gets worn out chasing chickens around (he had wanted to show you each one), San decides that you three should move on in your tour. You step out of the barn and are immediately thankful for the fresh air. Though you had gotten semi-used to the horrible stank of the animal barn, the clean air is a blessing. San continues walking over to the machinery barn, and gestures for you and Mingi to join him. 

Though the barn has the same exterior as the animal barn, the interior is vastly different. There’s poured concrete floors, fluorescent lighting, and finished walls. On either side of the barn, there are lines of farm vehicles, from tractors to pick-up trucks to four-wheelers. They’re all lined up pristinely. They hardly even look used. 

Well, most of them, anyways. To your immediate right, there’s a huge combine harvester that has clearly seen better days. That’s what you assume, at least, from the sight of the man hanging half inside of its engine and the various curse words streaming out of the compartment. 

San laughs, walking over and tugging on one of the guy’s feet. “What?” He responds, kicking his foot out to ward off San’s hand, but otherwise not making any move to emerge. 

“Do you want to meet (Y/n)?” San asks, dodging the man’s foot.

“I gue- son of a bitch, just a second.”

You look over at San, who is still smiling at the bottom half of this new man. Then you look over at Mingi, who is also looking at you. He gives you a knowing smile, like you’re in for something good. 

After a few seconds or so, you can finally see the top half of this man. He pops up and slips down off the front of the combine, before turning to face you. Despite his face and hands being covered in what you can assume to be grease, he’s absolutely stunning. He grabs a rag from the ground in front of the machine, trying to rub his hands free of residue. He quickly gives up.

Sticking his hands up, he plainly shows his dirty hands to you. “I’d shake your hand, but I don’t want you to have to deal with this filth. I’m Yeosang.” 

“I appreciate the gesture. I’m (Y/n).” You respond, smiling lightly at him.

Mingi tells you that Yeosang is a sort of mechanic around here, but that he normally doesn’t have much to do. Yeosang gives him a sarcastic smile in return, thanking him for his appreciation of his job.

“I’m technically in charge of the other mechanics, I normally don’t get my own hands dirty,” he explains, “but someone decided to not come do his job the one day of the year we make sure the combines will start.” Yeosang’s eyes squint and a frown forms on his face as he thinks of the offender. “So here I am.”

You giggle, taking the moment to observe Yeosang. He’s dressed similarly to how Jongho was dressed, in clothes meant to be worked hard in. His front is splattered with black grease, and his hands are absolutely covered in it. On his face, there are patches here and there from where he has swiped. His hair is long, similar to San’s, though entirely white-blonde. At least, you’d imagine it’s that color when it’s clean. Again, he is not much taller than you, but he is clearly built under his shirt. Not wanting a repeat of the Jongho situation, you quickly move your eyes back to his face. 

The four of you stand in a somewhat awkward silence, glancing from person to person, waiting for someone to say something next.

Yeosang takes one for the team, “Well, I’m going to get back to this.” He points behind him to the combine engine. “Good to meet you, (Y/n).” He smiles, giving you a tiny wave and a nod before turning and hoisting himself back up onto the combine.

Since you can see pretty much everything in the barn just from the front, San states that you have probably seen the extent of it and starts leading the way back outside. “What do you think we should show her next, Mingi?” San asks, looking out across the open space. 

“Uh,” Mingi starts, hurriedly looking around for somewhere interesting. “We could show her the apartments.”

“Good thinking!” San exclaims, setting off toward the first building that you had been in. You’re beginning to notice that San always seems to be quite upbeat. You three quickly are able to cross the open space and are to the door once more in just a couple minutes. Walking in for the second time, San heads for the right and the stairs that you had noticed earlier. “Everyone has their own room, and each floor has three bathrooms,” San starts, taking the first couple steps up the stairs. “There’s five floors total, and 25 rooms each, but not all the rooms are filled!”

The top of the stairs turn to the left and open into a hallway. It’s pretty drab, like most apartment complexes you’ve seen in your life. You can see that, at the end of the hallway, there is another set of stairs leading up. About halfway to that end, the hallway branches off on either side, presumably to reach more rooms. 

San leads you down the hallway, continuing to explain how things work. There’s a coed floor, a female floor, and a male floor. People can pick where they’re most comfortable. Couples of the opposite gender are allowed to live together, but only on the coed floor. Married couples with children can take larger apartments on the top floor. 

That one takes you by surprise. “There are married couples here? And children?”

San turns and looks at you like you’d grown a second head. “Why wouldn’t there be?”

You shrug, not really knowing why it had surprised you. Thinking back to when you were in the cafeteria, you can’t really remember seeing anyone that looked to be at marriage age. Honestly, everyone looked to be in their twenties. And you could not recall seeing a single child. But, if San says so... 

You reach the end of the hall, and walk up the next flight of stairs. The next floor is quite similar to the previous, and San lets you know that this is the male floor. At the end of this hallway, there is another set of stairs. Again, you three make your way to it and head up. San explains that this is the woman’s floor. 

San starts prattling off rules and information again. Men are allowed on the women’s floor and vice versa, but only between the hours of 9 A.M. and 9 P.M. Couples of opposite gender are welcome to spend nights together, but they must take empty rooms on the coed floor. 

You find yourself wondering, again, what the point in telling you all of this was. You are going to be staying here for literally one night, not the rest of your life. Why San felt the need to tell you this was absolutely beyond you.

San stops in front of a door near the opposite end of the hallway, near the next staircase going up. He opens the door, saying that this is where you’ll be staying tonight. “Unless… you two want to stay together?” He raises his eyebrows, smirking a little bit.

Despite not looking to see Mingi’s reaction, you know that the poor boy must be beet red. A strangled sound comes from him, and he quickly starts sputtering about how your relationship isn’t like that. “Yeah, not at all,” you add, bringing a hand up to scratch at your neck. 

San laughs at your reactions. “Well, I just thought I’d put it out there!”

You continue feeling awkward regardless. To try and relieve yourself, you stick your head into the room to take a look around. It’s quite simple, there’s a bed you would probably guess is full-sized in the back left corner, and a bookcase (that’s entirely empty) on the right wall. To the right of the door, there’s a desk with a small lamp. There is a window on the back wall, and you notice that the sun has already started setting.

Has it really been that long since you arrived? You hadn’t even eaten lunch, but it seemed like the day was drawing to a close. As if on cue, a bell rings throughout the facility. It makes you jump, and you quickly turn to San and Mingi once more, looking for an explanation. It sounds exactly like a school bell, indicating the change of the period.

Mingi giggles at your reaction, already reaching to grab your hand once more. “Dinner time!”

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